WHERE IS TODAY? ANY WAY I CAN!
KONCHOK PENDAY
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=================================================
WHERE IS TODAY?
I don't know!
I'm all over the map,
trying to put my parts
together again in one
grand scheme of life.
ANY WAY I CAN!
I feel like humpty dumpty,
the morning after a night
of trying not to remember.
I had a dream I could flie in the
ointment of dissappointment!
But it was Bust'a d'Ream.
I seem to be succeeding
beyond anyone's wildest
dreams [but mine], and
flailing catastrophically
at the very same time.
I built a starship, but
the lifetoff has been
delayed because
the cockroaches
ate the wiring.
The story of my life!
My way just might
BE the highway.
I found a treasure map!
I dug at the hexspot, and
found a big heavy chest
with a big iron lock. And I
still haven't gotten it open!
I bought a saw, but the
storage rent is overdue
and I can't get at it until
I pay backbILLS in full.
I seem to have a unique talent
for snatching celibacy from the
snatch of s'hedonistick h'or'atio's,
poverty from the purse of plenty,
infLamee from the pheart of infamy.
alt.ucp is doing very well now!
We have three of four people
who KNOW what they are
DOING with ucp, posting
their astunishing session
reports. Quite Marvelous!
Their detailed, understandable,
free publicly accessible record
and p'roof of N-Lightenment NOW!
is being fleshed out with more and
more invitations to s'elf'hexcellence!
==============================
PUT THE ELF B'ACK IN Y'OURS'ELF!
==============================
This thrills me! Their posts are such
*BLISS* to read, and they evoke my
very best in return. My responses
are my high water-mark of universal
understanding to date, and my best
hexcressence of symbolickinduction.
THEY MAKE ME *SO* RIGHT!
And yet I still haven't gotten my web
site transferred to the new host, and
I'm still paying thru the nose by the
month at the old one, and haven't
been able to back up the old one,
and deleted my cgi.bin etc on my
own hard drive in attempting to
transfer to the new server.
So ucp data itself seems in
danger of nonexistence.
While my personal life is l'i'm'p'loding.
I was strongly urged to do range-of
motion exercises on my shoulder,
though they might be painful. The
first day, something "popped" in
my shoulder, and it felt much better!
It didn't even hurt at night, so I slept
really well. The next day it got sorer,
and by that night I was in severe pain.
The last couple days have been hell.
So now I'm essentially one armed. I
lost even more of my range of motion,
and I'm really frightened. I defaulted on
my long-delayed tree pruning jobs, so I
have no income, and I can't work now.
I have lived marginally, mostly outside
of the system, so I'm not eligible for
Social Security, etc. The truly bizarre
thing is, the first time my shoulder felt
like this, my chiropractor fixed it in
about two minutes! So I really believe
that if I lived in a semi-sane group of
some kind, this would be a 15 minute
problem, I'm now a cripple because I
can't solve! But the last chiropractor
I went to said that wasn't the problem.
He diagnosed me as too old. But both
shoulders are the same age, and one
works really fine. Anyway, I've been in
THAT pain for two or three years now,
and now I lost the use of one arm, as
I don't know/can't afford a chiropractor
who knows how to fix me in ten minutes.
I don't know how to deal with conditions:
At the same time I'm a desperate patient
who can't get the simple treatment he needs,
I'm also a master healer surrounded by suicides
who won't accept gifts and won't let themselves
be healed. It's so bizarre my mind can't deal with it.
I know people who run a foster home business.
They will not use my electical acu-zappers on
their patients, even though they use them on
themselves, and KNOW they work, and cause
*NO* dangerous side effects at all, because
that would be ILLEGAL! They'd have to get
a Doctor's Order. And they won't get a
doctor to Order it because they are
Disassociated and Disconnected!
Dying in the Land of
Won't Be Healed!
2bizarre4wurdz!
99.99whinefine%
backwurdzturdz!
Captain Frank flew in from sailing,
grave generously at the fountain
of funk, blissed and blessed ahoy,
and flew off sailing again. I paid
one phone bill, got some groceries,
vitamins, meds, 3$wine, and went
to the AYCE last thurday and ate
myself into a stupor. Now I'm
mostly back dumpster dining.
I'm in pain, I have *NO* work,
which I don't want to can't do,
I can't afford treatment or food,
the people I Must talk to don't
know what I am talking about,
yet I AM *BLISSED OUT* too!
I CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT.
I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.
At least there is some
bliss in the mix. I've
lived without that for
long periods of time.
I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO *DO* BUT
KEEP ON LOOKING.
I SURE HAVEN'T
FOUND "IT" YET!
IF IT'S WHAT I'M
LOOKING FOR?
I keep thinking of my first acid trip,
and the second? or so I just DON'T
KNOW what the fucknot happened!
I thank the universe itself for that!
I can imagine several likely scenarios.
Even if I can't imagine that I could
really have imagined them then,
though I was tripping, and
I was seeing things that
I knew weren't there,
as well as things
I *KNEW* were!
I didn't know what to do then!
I don't know what to do now!
I don't know what I did then!
If I didn't do [what?], I sure
Don't Know who did, as I
*KNOW* what he was
Going to do to me!
*INSTANTLY!*
I keep thinking
I'm in the same
place now as
I was then.
KNOWING I AM
IN TROUBLE
KNOWING
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO
WISHING I KNEW
HOW TO TELL
THE TRIP FROM THE TRAP
THE INSTANCE FROM THE INSTANT
HOW TO FLOW
WITH THE GO
WHAT TO DO!
IN MY SHOE!
DOO-DOO
WON'T DO!
It looks to me now
as though maybe
you have to act
before you know
what to do? Maybe
you can know that
you can't know, and
not get fixed on it?
Maybe this is not
a correct sanswer?
Maybe it's punting!
Or maybe you have
to call the play
after the snap?
Maybe it's all maybe!
I'm not even getting
any new good ideas!
I already played
all my favorites!
I'd cash out now,
but have no chips.
My lack of slack
seems eterminable!
I DON'T KNOW!
WHAT TO DO!
O
--- ()
\
Konchok Penday
K...@net-prophet.net
http://net-prophet.net/
Research & Technical W'RIghT'ER:
Integrator: Universal Conscious Plot:
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Your KosmiK K'!'C'Kb'ACK to K...@net-prophet.net via
paypal.com Will Help KP Stop dumpster-diving-dinner!
ab...@ftc.gov, sp...@ftc.gov, u...@ftc.gov
Justin
That was so painful to read. I hate the fact that some one who has
freely given me and many others so much is in such dire circumstances.
Some questions which might enable me to help you.:Was that a session?
it seemed very much a report on now. Do you still do standard UCP,
clearly differentiating present future and past?
Do you have sustainable accomodation? Do you pay rent for this or is
it given freely.
In otherwords what are your expenses.
You may contact me privately to disuss this
justinatinnerskill.com.au (replace at with @)
I will email you tommorrow from work to organise something.
Justin
KONCHOK PENDAY <K...@net-prophet.net> wrote in message news:<8d1959bd65f3cc88...@news.teranews.com>...
KONCHOK PENDAY
DATE: Tue, 27 Jan 2004 07:50:20 GMT
MESSAGE ID: <0LoRb.29145$zj7....@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net>
NEWSGROUP: alt.clearing.technology
THREAD: Re: WHERE IS TODAY? ANY WAY I CAN!
POSTER: "Richard Platek \(Lion\)" <li...@lightlink.com>
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=================================================
KP:
>> I DON'T KNOW!
>> WHAT TO DO!
Lieon Roaring Hubris:
>I seriously doubt that.
What you do
is up to you.
>You seem to need help.
Gosh!
So do you.
At least I
know I do.
>If you are serious about requesting assistance getting
>things under control, I am very open to helping you.
PLEASE DON'T!
>And I suspect I could encourage
>a few others to help you as well.
PLEASE DON'T HELP ME!
DON'T WRITE ABOUT IT!
>But I will place and demand certain conditions on this help.
I don't want your help.
HELP YOURSELF!
>Ball in your court,
>
>Your Lion
Do me a favor and
ignore all my posts.
KONCHOK PENDAY
DATE: 26 Jan 2004 22:32:32 -0800
MESSAGE ID: <c11d72ea.04012...@posting.google.com>
NEWSGROUP: alt.ucp
THREAD: Re: WHERE IS TODAY? ANY WAY I CAN!
POSTER: justint...@hotmail.com (Justin)
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=================================================
justint...@hotmail.com (Justin)
>Ouch!
>
>That was so painful to read. I hate the fact that some one who has
>freely given me and many others so much is in such dire circumstances.
I hate it too.
This is not my
best fantasy!
Tho it has
elements!
>Some questions which might enable me to help you.:
>Was that a session?
Yes.
>it seemed very much a report on now.
Yes.
That's the start of every session.
I'm not sure I've completed it yet.
I DON'T KNOW a lot lately.
>Do you still do standard UCP,
>clearly differentiating present future and past?
As clearly as I can!
>Do you have sustainable accomodation?
Yes. My landlord, who has been a saviour,
even offered to loan me the money I didn't
make pruning his trees. But I'm not able to
do caretaker duties without a shoulder. No
exchange can only be a long term problem.
>Do you pay rent for this or is it given freely.
I have a "work exchange," but
mostly it's really a graceful gift.
To stay graceful, I need to
perform my necessary duties.
>In otherwords what are your expenses.
Not much for food lately,
but I'd love to be largessing
the best chiropractor in town.
>You may contact me privately to disuss this
Thanks.
>justinatinnerskill.com.au (replace at with @)
>
>I will email you tommorrow from work to organise something.
>
>Justin
Thanks!
I know you are struggling yourself . . .
I prefer to depend on those who are not.
I want to not depend, but I want a lot I don't got.
O
--- )
\
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
*DO* UCP TO *KNOW!*
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ab...@ftc.gov, sp...@ftc.gov, u...@ftc.gov
=================================================
.......snipsig.......
KONCHOK PENDAY
DATE: Tue, 27 Jan 2004 23:28:58 GMT
MESSAGE ID: <nhsd109o495kubmcq...@4ax.com>
NEWSGROUP: alt.ucp
THREAD: Re: WHERE IS TODAY? ANY WAY I CAN!
POSTER: iJah <ijahSp...@mindspring.com>
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=================================================
KP:
>>WHERE IS TODAY? ANY WAY I CAN!
....snip header....
>>WHERE IS TODAY?
>>
>>I don't know!
>>
>>I'm all over the map,
>>trying to put my parts
>>together again in one
>>grand scheme of life.
>>
>>ANY WAY I CAN!
>>
>>I feel like humpty dumpty,
>>the morning after a night
>>of trying not to remember.
>>
>>I had a dream I could flie in the
>>ointment of dissappointment!
>>But it was Bust'a d'Ream.
>>
>>I seem to be succeeding
>>beyond anyone's wildest
>>dreams [but mine], and
>>flailing catastrophically
>>at the very same time.
iJah:
>Sometimes you're hot, sometimes you're not.
That happens a lot!
>>I built a starship, but
>>the lifetoff has been
>>delayed because
>>the cockroaches
>>ate the wiring.
>Thank god the countdown was aborted.
The Mission has right to life questions too!
>>The story of my life!
>>
>>My way just might
>>BE the highway.
>>
>>I found a treasure map!
>>I dug at the hexspot, and
>>found a big heavy chest
>>with a big iron lock. And I
>>still haven't gotten it open!
>>I bought a saw, but the
>>storage rent is overdue
>>and I can't get at it until
>>I pay backbILLS in full.
>
>Having your stuff held hostage in storage - oh, the pain! Do they add
>late fee surcharges on your past due balances too?
Of course. And interest on the fees.
>>I seem to have a unique talent
>>for snatching celibacy from the
>>snatch of s'hedonistick h'or'atio's,
>>poverty from the purse of plenty,
>>infLamee from the pheart of infamy.
>
>Those are ABILITIES!
If only they could be reversabilities!
I'd like to wear the other side now!
>>alt.ucp is doing very well now!
>>We have three of four people
>>who KNOW what they are
>>DOING with ucp, posting
>>their astunishing session
>>reports. Quite Marvelous!
>>
>>Their detailed, understandable,
>>free publicly accessible record
>>and p'roof of N-Lightenment NOW!
>>is being fleshed out with more and
>>more invitations to s'elf'hexcellence!
>>
>>==============================
>> PUT THE ELF B'ACK IN Y'OURS'ELF!
>>==============================
>>
>>This thrills me! Their posts are such
>>*BLISS* to read, and they evoke my
>>very best in return. My responses
>>are my high water-mark of universal
>>understanding to date, and my best
>>hexcressence of symbolickinduction.
>>
>>THEY MAKE ME *SO* RIGHT!
>
>Yes, some solid/stable UCP'ers and they are not only doing UCP, but
>recording their episodes and broadcasting them to the world. It's like
>reality TV, only much better. Can't wait for the next episodes.
ACTUALITY REALITY!
WITHOUT THE TV!
SEND YOUR SCRIPT!
>>And yet I still haven't gotten my web
>>site transferred to the new host, and
>>I'm still paying thru the nose by the
>>month at the old one, and haven't
>>been able to back up the old one,
>>and deleted my cgi.bin etc on my
>>own hard drive in attempting to
>>transfer to the new server.
>>So ucp data itself seems in
>>danger of nonexistence.
>
>Oops. So easy to delete, so hard to recover.
My worry exactly!
>>While my personal life is l'i'm'p'loding.
>>
>>I was strongly urged to do range-of
>>motion exercises on my shoulder,
>>though they might be painful. The
>>first day, something "popped" in
>>my shoulder, and it felt much better!
>>It didn't even hurt at night, so I slept
>>really well. The next day it got sorer,
>>and by that night I was in severe pain.
>>The last couple days have been hell.
>>So now I'm essentially one armed. I
>>lost even more of my range of motion,
>>and I'm really frightened.
>I was given range of motion exercises when I had a very painful 'stiff
>neck' and told to just do it regardless of the pain, that it would
>help. The next day I felt much worse - sheer misery - but kept doing
>the exercises and 'pushing thru the pain'. The worst was yet to come.
"What turns it on will turn it off!"
Death turns it all off forever.
>The day after that a disk in my neck herniated completely, my left
>arm/hand where paralyzed, the pain in my neck/shoulder/base of skull
>was off-the-hook and I was out of the game for seven months, in
>excruciating pain 24/7, unable to even lay down -
PUKE!
At least mine is slowly improving.
>could barely
>tolerate resting my head on the back of a chair sitting up. Life had
>become untenable. Somehow managed to barely hang onto a job where I
>need four arms with only one, but it was a real grind and drained
>every ounce of meager life force I could muster up completely from me
>every day.
Globbless your grim determination.
>Now I've learned there is a reason for pain. It's the body saying -
>don't fuck with me man - I'm broke or about to brake - treat me with
>tender loving care. DO NOT push thru the pain. That advice is INSANE
>IN THE MEMBRANE!
I took this advice from the you-know-who.
Nothing like feeling extra-stupid deja-vue
all over my life? again! Will I ever learn?
>there are for sure some chiro's who are magical in their ability to
>bring you back from the land of pain and dysfunction, and others who
>just throw an electric massager on your back neck, let it vibrate for
>a few seconds, move it around and bill you $65-$85 for the 10 minute
>session!
I've had some of both.
I need more of my fave!
>i certainly know what it's like to be desperate and unable to get
>treatment. i'll tell you, even when you have insurance (HMO group
>insurance), it's often a total fiasco trying to get any problem
>addressed.
HMO's are the undertakers best friend!
The homeless don't even get a funeral.
>>I know people who run a foster home business.
>>They will not use my electical acu-zappers on
>>their patients, even though they use them on
>>themselves, and KNOW they work, and cause
>>*NO* dangerous side effects at all, because
>>that would be ILLEGAL! They'd have to get
>>a Doctor's Order. And they won't get a
>>doctor to Order it because they are
>>Disassociated and Disconnected!
>>
>>Dying in the Land of
>>Won't Be Healed!
>>
>>2bizarre4wurdz!
>>99.99whinefine%
>>backwurdzturdz!
>>
>>Captain Frank flew in from sailing,
>>grave generously at the fountain
>>of funk, blissed and blessed ahoy,
>>and flew off sailing again. I paid
>>one phone bill, got some groceries,
>>vitamins, meds, 3$wine, and went
>>to the AYCE last thurday and ate
>>myself into a stupor. Now I'm
>>mostly back dumpster dining.
>
>that sucks horrendously. listen, i'm on quite an austerity program
>myself, had to take a 40% paycut after George W took office, just to
>keep the doors of our little company open. Somehow all our projects
>dried up in 2001 and no one wanted to play games and spend their money
>anymore. but, if i get any extra zorch, i'll allocate some for you.
>i'm talking enough to get a dozen fine dinners at Taco Bell. that's
>what i do when i'm scraping bottom. i get get enough grub for $3.19 to
>really fill my stomach - and it's good.
Way Cool!
>nah, don't cash out now. some good cards are bound to turn up soon.
Thanks for your optimism.
>>My lack of slack
>>seems eterminable!
>
>We all need as much slack as we can get!
>Give me slack or give me death.
That's what I'm objecting to!
*WHERE* IS MY *SLACK*?
Lack of Slack
makes it all
look black.
>>I DON'T KNOW!
>>WHAT TO DO!
>>
>>
>> O
>> --- ()
>> \
But I'm feeling a little better today!
Thanks for writing!
O
--- )