alex on friday
Outfoxing The Foxes
Went out with a bunch of guys - at
the second bar we sit at a table next
to a blonde and her friend. A couple
of us start talking to them, while the
other guys try to buy shots for 3 girls
accross the way and somehow piss them
off (heh, what they were doing in the
first place buying them shots, I don't
know.)
<-----Aim for FRIENDSHIP with the women.
Anyway, the waitress drinks one of the
shots and they give the others to the
girls I'm talking to. Works out ok for
me, because I had nothing to do with the
drinks. I start talking to the blonde
and do pretty well, also talking to her
friend who I am not interested in to
include her.
<------I would have talked to the friend and ignored the blonde. Win the
friend over and you can checkmate the blond at your leisure.
I did one big thing that I wouldn't have done
before reading this group. One of the
guys who bought the shots gets called
an asshole by a girl and doesn't say anything
back. The blonde I am talking to leans
over and tells him to stand up for himself -
she would have used the 'c-word' and she's
not afraid of that word. I tell her it's
a very powerful word - are you sure you're
not afraid of it? Ok, then, would you have
called her a 'cunt' or a 'fucking cunt?'
<--------This woman just sent you a red flag. Do you want her as your
girlfriend? If so, be prepared to have to stand up for her just as
brutally. This is not the mother of your children, I hope. Treat her
like a party girl.
The idea was that I challenged her just
a little and set myself apart from the guy
who let himself get stepped on. She didn't
bat an eye, but her friend said 'that offends
me'. I resisted a strong urge to apologize
and instead turned into a conversation about
the fact that you can say everything else in
the world on tv and society says it's ok.
<-------You're playing games with a game-player.
I get some good signals that are easy for
even me to interpret as 'you're doing well'.
The blonde jokes to her friend about 'needing
a man' so that I can overhear it. She asks
something about 'my wife or girlfriend' to
find out if I have one. She says 'I like a
man with a cat' (OK, she talked about loving
animals earlier, so I dropped in a comment
about my cat later on in conversation ;-)
<----This is more than doing well.
I go to the restroom and come back to find
one of my buddies in my seat. The blonde
moves over into the corner so I can sit next
to her. Why don't they all make it this easy?
I now know I will get her number. We somehow
get into showing each other our ids (she jokes
'I'll show you yours if you show me mine').
<--------Bonding.
I also gave her a friendly neg then. She's
digging around her purse for her ID for a while,
having trouble finding it. Me: 'get carded much,
do you?' Her: 'no (pouting) I sense your sarcasm
(smiling)'.
<-------She's old? Tell her you only date women who are no older than
whatever her age is minus two years. She'll not leave you alone after
that.
A few minutes later I close with 'we should get
together sometime, maybe go to (such and such)'.
Heh, she won't volunteer the number-
just kind of smiles and says 'yeah, and?'
<-----I would have been aggressive.
Me: 'you should give me your phone number'
her: 'I'm staying with a friend - give me yours'
(she is new in town)
Me: 'I'll trade you for your work number, then.'
(remembering Mystery's advice to trade)
Her: 'Ok'
<------This should work.
Oh yeah - I wasn't sure what to say after we
swapped numbers. 'Call me' won't work, and 'I'll
give you a call' is assertive, but means she doesn't
call you. Maybe just 'pleasure to meet you'?
Ideas?
<-------Nothing wrong with being assertive. You probably could have done
palm reading and massage, btw. Dancing with her also works. Mystery
likely would have taken her home. You can also find out her interests
and make tentative plans to do that, which makes her more eager for your
call.
She said 'thanks for the conversation', and
I ended up saying 'we'll talk soon.' Not too happy
with that part, but she said 'definitely'.
<-----A signal.
OK, now the tricky part: I called her Tuesday afternoon
at her work number and she says 'oh, hey, what's up? Can
I call you back?' Of course, she didn't call be back!
Now what? Is this a lost cause? Should I call her in
a few days and bring up the fact that she didn't call
back, or pretend she must have gotten busy at work and
I don't care anyway because I have other options?
Alex
<--------Keep her in one-and-done land for now. Pursue other interests.
At YOUR convenience, a few weeks down the road, call her to see how she's
doing and act like you've written her off romantically.
You could send her a card at work saying "You take my breath away..." on
the front and "I was holding it waiting for you to call me back" on the
reverse side, but that's mushy. The time I did that, I did get a
positive reaction.
Outfoxing The Foxes: How To Seduce The Women Of Your Dreams
http://www.cybersheet.com/fox/index.html
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