report
invi...@my-deja.com
first explain my situation a little bit. All my life, I've let chicks
make all the moves on me, I really never did jack shit - I don't call
them, I don't go over to their places, I don't ask them out, I don't
walk to them even if they're 10 feet away, etc. It worked, be it very
slowly, but is really unpredictable and severely damaging for the ego.
And lately, I lost out on a lot chicks b/c they would drop out
somewhere in the process. Therefore I came here, to get a clue. I went
out yesterday to give 'approaching' a go. My wing was a shy guy, but he
was openminded about approaching, and that was all I needed :-)
(friends being sceptical about it KILLS my mood) First adressed a 3-set
on the street, like NYC suggested, with just 'hi'. They were friendly
and laughing. Asked them if there was a party somewhere, and they told
us about a place. We went there, first got a couple of beers, while
discussing our action plan a lil'. I turn around and initiate convo
with an UG standing next to me. Opener 'You know who throws this
party?' She asks her nice-looking friend, who then became my target.
Some more fluff, UG goes to some other friends, I start convo with the
target. Let me explain my style: I just fluffed constantly, asking her
questions, and commenting about the answers. I never talked a lot, two
sentences tops per time and I also didn't really listen to what she
replied. I talked right through some things she said, and I also asked
some questions twice, and got some things wrong, which she had
previously told me. This is bad ofcourse and I'm gonna have to avoid
this in the future, but in this case it didn't matter as I just laughed
it away and went on. I ask what she studies, if she parties a lot, if
she can dance well, if she can teach me to dance, y'know, jak jak. I
also ask her who she's here with, and she points at the cute blond that
was suddenly standing next to her. (both of them came together, the
other girls meeted them here) The blond smiles and waves at me, I wave
back. This seems good, her friend has accepted me already. I also start
light kino, whenever I talk, I bend over a little and put my arm around
her shortly. My wing is standing next to me getting bored, so I decide
to extract my chick to practically force him to go talk to any of the
others :-) I tell her 'let's go dance over there, you can teach me
then.' She's like, ok, tells her blond friend about it, and we go. I
grab her hand and lead her to a place a little further. She's not much
of a dancer, just an ass-wiggler, which is ofcourse fine by me :-) I
continue fluffing, and I start increasing the kino. She has a nice
body. I also notice that she is a little taller than me. All the time,
she's very enthousiastic, smiling and laughing about everything I say,
never going frigid or anything. Questioning her hobbies, I find out she
does 'self-defense', and I ask 'so will you kick my butt if I do
something wrong to you?' She smiles and replies 'depends.' btw, I have
my arm around her. Some more jakking, and then I ask her 'would you
tackle me if I would attempt to kiss you?' Here I wanted her to say
either 'yes you can kiss me' or 'no you can't kiss me'. But she replies
'You'll see when it happens.' This seriously throws me off-guard,
almost like an interrupt or something, and somehow I take it as a 'no
you can't kiss me.' That was then ofcourse, at this moment it seems
that she was actually challenging me, and that she would have told me
she didn't want to kiss me, if she in fact didn't want to. Crap. A big
part of my brain was still waiting for her to start the kiss, like I
always have done, but I now realize that that was very unlikely since I
was so dominant all the time! Anyway, a little later she asks my name.
Good sign also, but doesn't really matter anymore I guess. It occurs to
me that I'm stalling, so I start pushing the kino. I have my body
pressed against her (feeling her nice titties on my chest), arms around
her, nose pressed against her face while talking to her (my wing told
me later he thought we were kissing already :-). But still, I'm too
afraid to kiss her. I know, this is EXTREMELY lame, but it's like a
mental blockade or something, from the past. Little later we are
slowdancing, although they're playing house music. And now, for the
first time in the evening, I become nervous, as the clock is ticking. I
think she noticed, b/c she pulled back a little, and was looking around
while we continued slowdancing. Some minutes pass in silence, which is
bad ofcourse. I start to feel very awkward. Then I remember something
mystery wrote on his site, and I tell her 'stick out your tongue.' She
goes 'no!' I go 'why not?' Her: 'that's why...' I think I didn't smile
when I delivered these lines, and my mental state was ruined anyhow, so
I eject. I really can't believe myself! This is never happening to me
again, I promise!! If I read it now it all seems obvious, but it was so
different when I was experiencing it. Sigh. Now I'd like to ask the
group, how quickly can you go for the kiss, how do you know? This was
my second attempt at an ACTIVE pua ever, so don't be too harsh on me :-)
invictus
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Rookie
invi...@my-deja.com wrote:
> Let me say, what I'm gonna report now is really lame :-) but lemme
> first explain my situation a little bit. All my life, I've let chicks
> make all the moves on me, I really never did jack shit - I don't call
> them, I don't go over to their places, I don't ask them out, I don't
> walk to them even if they're 10 feet away, etc. It worked, be it very
> slowly,
Yeah, I sort of had that same tactic.
> but is really unpredictable and severely damaging for the ego.
And the same result. *sigh*
*snipped some*
> Questioning her hobbies, I find out she
> does 'self-defense', and I ask 'so will you kick my butt if I do
> something wrong to you?' She smiles and replies 'depends.' btw, I have
> my arm around her. Some more jakking, and then I ask her 'would you
> tackle me if I would attempt to kiss you?' Here I wanted her to say
> either 'yes you can kiss me' or 'no you can't kiss me'. But she replies
> 'You'll see when it happens.' This seriously throws me off-guard,
> almost like an interrupt or something, and somehow I take it as a 'no
> you can't kiss me.'
*ACK* Man...hindsight it 20/20 right? I would have fumbled too I bet, but
you realize that you were so fucking in right there that it could not have
been any better.
> That was then ofcourse, at this moment it seems
> that she was actually challenging me, and that she would have told me
> she didn't want to kiss me, if she in fact didn't want to. Crap. A big
> part of my brain was still waiting for her to start the kiss, like I
> always have done, but I now realize that that was very unlikely since I
> was so dominant all the time!
I didn't get the impression you were dominant...it just seemed like you were
comfortable and confident. She expected that to continue, I wish (for your
sake), it had.
> *snipped some more*
> I start to feel very awkward. Then I remember something
> mystery wrote on his site, and I tell her 'stick out your tongue.' She
> goes 'no!' I go 'why not?' Her: 'that's why...' I think I didn't smile
> when I delivered these lines,
More proof that you have to have your own gig and can't just ramble someone
else's shit off.
> and my mental state was ruined anyhow, so
> I eject. I really can't believe myself! This is never happening to me
> again, I promise!! If I read it now it all seems obvious, but it was so
> different when I was experiencing it. Sigh. Now I'd like to ask the
> group, how quickly can you go for the kiss, how do you know? This was
> my second attempt at an ACTIVE pua ever, so don't be too harsh on me :-)
>
No harsh man, just sorrow for you because you were so in, and you missed
it. You were on the fucking 10 yard line with no one between you and the
goal line and you caught a fucking turf shark! (Thats a football term for an
imaginary obstacle - for those who don't know).It sucks, but look at your
resolve...
"This is never happening to me
again, I promise!!"
See that, you are already the better man!
--
Rookie
- * -
Its only a matter of time.
night...@hotmail.com
news: You still don't even realize how in you were.
NightLight9
In article <83cbcm$vbr$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
invi...@my-deja.com wrote:
> Let me say, what I'm gonna report now is really lame :-) but lemme
> first explain my situation a little bit. All my life, I've let chicks
> make all the moves on me, I really never did jack shit - I don't call
> them, I don't go over to their places, I don't ask them out, I don't
> walk to them even if they're 10 feet away, etc. It worked, be it very
> slowly, but is really unpredictable and severely damaging for the ego.
That would be good for my ego, but boring as hell. I like being
agressive because it's fun...
We went there, first got a couple of beers, while
> discussing our action plan a lil'.
The alchohol will definately have a negative effect. Two drink Max...
> I turn around and initiate convo
> with an UG standing next to me. Opener 'You know who throws this
> party?' She asks her nice-looking friend, who then became my target.
> Some more fluff, UG goes to some other friends, I start convo with the
> target. Let me explain my style: I just fluffed constantly, asking her
> questions, and commenting about the answers.
That's not a style its the complete lack of a style...
> I never talked a lot, two
> sentences tops per time and I also didn't really listen to what she
> replied.
The not talking much if she's talking is good! In fact at this point
you know either 1) she is so confident that she will not hook up with
you and that you are harmless that she sees NO danger in talking with
you. 2) She is already decided that you meet her bar and all you
have to do is relate a little to her and she will jump on you.
> I talked right through some things she said, and I also asked
> some questions twice, and got some things wrong, which she had
> previously told me. This is bad ofcourse and I'm gonna have to avoid
> this in the future, but in this case it didn't matter as I just
laughed
> it away and went on.
this is very bad, but it sounds like you may have some other qualities
that were compensating (or she was too drunk to notice)
> I ask what she studies, if she parties a lot, if
> she can dance well, if she can teach me to dance, y'know, jak jak.
This is pathetic. She was definately sold on you already.
>I
> also ask her who she's here with, and she points at the cute blond
that
> was suddenly standing next to her. (both of them came together, the
> other girls meeted them here) The blond smiles and waves at me, I wave
> back. This seems good, her friend has accepted me already. I also
start
> light kino, whenever I talk, I bend over a little and put my arm
around
> her shortly. My wing is standing next to me getting bored, so I decide
> to extract my chick to practically force him to go talk to any of the
> others :-) I tell her 'let's go dance over there, you can teach me
> then.' She's like, ok, tells her blond friend about it, and we go. I
> grab her hand and lead her to a place a little further. She's not much
> of a dancer, just an ass-wiggler, which is ofcourse fine by me :-) I
> continue fluffing, and I start increasing the kino. She has a nice
> body. I also notice that she is a little taller than me. All the time,
> she's very enthousiastic, smiling and laughing about everything I say,
> never going frigid or anything.
Totally on your jock. This girl would likely have left with you at
this point.
> Questioning her hobbies, I find out she
> does 'self-defense', and I ask 'so will you kick my butt if I do
> something wrong to you?' She smiles and replies 'depends.' btw, I have
> my arm around her.
Good line if you said it confidently. Her response was the equivalent
of yes take me now. Contrast this to my explanation of the second B &
N chicks responses on our date (and she slept with me).
> Some more jakking, and then I ask her 'would you
> tackle me if I would attempt to kiss you?' Here I wanted her to say
> either 'yes you can kiss me' or 'no you can't kiss me'. But she
replies
> 'You'll see when it happens.' This seriously throws me off-guard,
> almost like an interrupt or something, and somehow I take it as a 'no
> you can't kiss me.' That was then ofcourse, at this moment it seems
> that she was actually challenging me, and that she would have told me
> she didn't want to kiss me, if she in fact didn't want to.
If thats your idea of a challenge... She said "you'll see when it
happens"!!! Do you speak english? That means that it's going to
happen. This is plain english, there is no body language to interpret ,
no complicated inuendo...
> Crap. A big
> part of my brain was still waiting for her to start the kiss, like I
> always have done, but I now realize that that was very unlikely since
>I was so dominant all the time! Anyway, a little later she asks my
name.
> Good sign also, but doesn't really matter anymore I guess. It occurs
to
> me that I'm stalling, so I start pushing the kino. I have my body
> pressed against her (feeling her nice titties on my chest), arms
around
> her, nose pressed against her face while talking to her (my wing told
> me later he thought we were kissing already :-). But still, I'm too
> afraid to kiss her. I know, this is EXTREMELY lame, but it's like a
> mental blockade or something, from the past. Little later we are
> slowdancing, although they're playing house music. And now, for the
> first time in the evening, I become nervous, as the clock is ticking.
I
> think she noticed, b/c she pulled back a little, and was looking
around
> while we continued slowdancing.
You rejected her, she feels like shit. She put herself on the line and
you told her she was unattractive and that you were just playing
games. You should feel bad for leading her on like that.
>Some minutes pass in silence, which is
> bad ofcourse. I start to feel very awkward.
Silence isn't bad... This situation awas bad.
> Then I remember something
> mystery wrote on his site, and I tell her 'stick out your tongue.' She
> goes 'no!' I go 'why not?' Her: 'that's why...' I think I didn't smile
> when I delivered these lines, and my mental state was ruined anyhow,
so
It was too late for talking. At somepoint you have to walk that walk.
> I eject. I really can't believe myself! This is never happening to me
> again, I promise!! If I read it now it all seems obvious, but it was
so
> different when I was experiencing it.
You'll get it, and the good news is that it sounds like you are good
looking enough that you should be able to pull chicks easily.
> Sigh. Now I'd like to ask the
> group, how quickly can you go for the kiss, how do you know? This was
> my second attempt at an ACTIVE pua ever, so don't be too harsh on
me :-)
>
We're all friends here (for teh most part), be gotta call em like we
see em...
NightLight9
ShadowJack63
<invi...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:83cbcm$vbr$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...Wrote,
Snip.....
Hi Invictus,
You blew that one diddn't you ? No worries we've all been there ;-)
Like Nightlight said no more than two drinks,just enough to get merry and
relaxed.
Right she's up and slow dancing with you right ? she wouldn't be dancing
with you if
she didn't like you.Pushing her love jugs on your chest right? she more than
likes you.
I always go for the neck first, slow lingering kisses and more often than
not she'll
angle her head round so you two can start tongueing down.
If you must go for the lips first, try this. In in a close embrace with a
chick notice what
she is doing with her pubic mound, is your leg between hers? With your leg
while danceing
put a bit of forward pressure on her mound,if she really likes you she'll
start grinding down
onto your upper thigh.Got a semi on yet? replace while danceing, thigh with
semi on and slowly and
gently push it in her mound.Is she pushing back? yeah? good she's dripping
for you.
For the kiss, cock your head to one side,is she mirroring your position ?
yeah. kiss her.
Another thing if your not sure about the women you can try this.Just go for
the kiss and stop
about 2 to 3 inches from her mouth and she what she does 98% of the time
she'll kiss you.
Just stop thinking so much, by the time you've got a hb in a slow dance it's
because she want's to BE WITH YOU.
Just let nature take it's course and take her home and fuck her.
Look the worst that's going to happen is she'll push away, eject her, then
then move onto the next woman.
You'll find towards the end of the night she''ll come back to you most of
the time anyway.
What have you to lose? When I want to kiss a woman I just go for it anyway
and I only been slapped a couple of times
(Love Taps :-) .)
ShadowJack
invi...@my-deja.com
> OK... First off the good news: you blew a completely easy PU. The
bad
> news: You still don't even realize how in you were.
eh eh
> NightLight9
> In article <83cbcm$vbr$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
> invi...@my-deja.com wrote:
> > Let me say, what I'm gonna report now is really lame :-) but lemme
> > first explain my situation a little bit. All my life, I've let
chicks
> > make all the moves on me, I really never did jack shit - I don't
call
> > them, I don't go over to their places, I don't ask them out, I don't
> > walk to them even if they're 10 feet away, etc. It worked, be it
very
> > slowly, but is really unpredictable and severely damaging for the
ego.
>
> That would be good for my ego, but boring as hell. I like being
> agressive because it's fun...
It IS more fun yes. The way I feel now I don't want chicks to make that
many moves anymore, I really start to feel like TAKING them :-)
> We went there, first got a couple of beers, while
> > discussing our action plan a lil'.
>
> The alchohol will definately have a negative effect. Two drink Max...
Nah..
> > I turn around and initiate convo
> > with an UG standing next to me. Opener 'You know who throws this
> > party?' She asks her nice-looking friend, who then became my target.
> > Some more fluff, UG goes to some other friends, I start convo with
the
> > target. Let me explain my style: I just fluffed constantly, asking
her
> > questions, and commenting about the answers.
>
> That's not a style its the complete lack of a style...
lol - but I don't have a clue what else I should say... and this worked
two on two. (my first approach was identical to this one)
> > I never talked a lot, two
> > sentences tops per time and I also didn't really listen to what she
> > replied.
>
> The not talking much if she's talking is good!
I didn't do that. I interrupted her a lot when she asked something or
tried to say something...
> In fact at this point
> you know either 1) she is so confident that she will not hook up with
> you and that you are harmless that she sees NO danger in talking with
> you. 2) She is already decided that you meet her bar and all you
> have to do is relate a little to her and she will jump on you.
It wasn't nr 1 :-)
> > I talked right through some things she said, and I also asked
> > some questions twice, and got some things wrong, which she had
> > previously told me. This is bad ofcourse and I'm gonna have to avoid
> > this in the future, but in this case it didn't matter as I just
> laughed
> > it away and went on.
>
> this is very bad, but it sounds like you may have some other qualities
> that were compensating (or she was too drunk to notice)
She wasn't drunk at all. She pointed them out all of the time 'Hey you
already asked that!' (heard that alot), 'No I don't have a room myself,
I live with my parents, I told you that already!' etc
> > I ask what she studies, if she parties a lot, if
> > she can dance well, if she can teach me to dance, y'know, jak jak.
>
> This is pathetic. She was definately sold on you already.
What I gave you here was my fluff talk - I have to say something, right?
Aw that hurts :-)
> > Questioning her hobbies, I find out she
> > does 'self-defense', and I ask 'so will you kick my butt if I do
> > something wrong to you?' She smiles and replies 'depends.' btw, I
have
> > my arm around her.
>
> Good line if you said it confidently. Her response was the equivalent
> of yes take me now. Contrast this to my explanation of the second B &
> N chicks responses on our date (and she slept with me).
Crap yes that was really cool! So little responses and she was still in
for you... I am learning a lot here!
> > Some more jakking, and then I ask her 'would you
> > tackle me if I would attempt to kiss you?' Here I wanted her to say
> > either 'yes you can kiss me' or 'no you can't kiss me'. But she
> replies
> > 'You'll see when it happens.' This seriously throws me off-guard,
> > almost like an interrupt or something, and somehow I take it as a
'no
> > you can't kiss me.' That was then ofcourse, at this moment it seems
> > that she was actually challenging me, and that she would have told
me
> > she didn't want to kiss me, if she in fact didn't want to.
>
> If thats your idea of a challenge... She said "you'll see when it
> happens"!!! Do you speak english? That means that it's going to
> happen. This is plain english, there is no body language to interpret
,
> no complicated inuendo...
Yeah that occurred to me lateron too :-)
I just had another chick (the 9) call me a 'heartbreaker' an hour ago.
- she said 'at least I TELL guys I am not interested, I don't feel them
up first' eh eh eh :-)
Oh, and this chick went home immediately after I left her. Maybe I
really hurt her, like you said...
> >Some minutes pass in silence, which is
> > bad ofcourse. I start to feel very awkward.
>
> Silence isn't bad... This situation awas bad.
Silence isn't bad? I always thought it was. It always makes me feel
awkward, but that's probably the bad part altogether. Better just stay
confident and relaxed.
> > Then I remember something
> > mystery wrote on his site, and I tell her 'stick out your tongue.'
She
> > goes 'no!' I go 'why not?' Her: 'that's why...' I think I didn't
smile
> > when I delivered these lines, and my mental state was ruined anyhow,
> so
>
> It was too late for talking. At somepoint you have to walk that walk.
I'll never make this mistake again, I promise again!
> > I eject. I really can't believe myself! This is never happening to
me
> > again, I promise!! If I read it now it all seems obvious, but it was
> so
> > different when I was experiencing it.
>
> You'll get it, and the good news is that it sounds like you are good
> looking enough that you should be able to pull chicks easily.
Y'know, I thought I was ugly my entire life, funny.
Another reason why I might be so bad at interpreting signals is b/c
girls are generally always nice and smily to me. This girl treated me
no different than any other one. I thought this one might have been
'just politely nice'. That was really what was going on inside my head!!
Another interesting remark: there's this girl in my class with whom I
have to do some fysics experiments together. She wasn't very smily and
all with me, so I figured she looked down on me or something, and this
made me insecure around her. But then I read identity_X's great post
about 'laying down the law' and this got a few ideas in my head and I
thought I'd try treating her crappier this friday. I told myself 'I'm
gonna pretend to be a jerk.' So I started telling her what to do, not
doing jack shit myself, AND SHE TOOK ALL OF IT. She did what I told her
to do, never bitched about anything. She had already made the entire
report we had to make at home, and now she practically begged me to
type it into the computer, although I had already told her I wanted to
do that?! Then I asked her to lend me some money to get a coca cola.
She went to look for money in her jacket and when she couldn't find it,
I said 'I'll go get it from someone else then' and she goes 'nono, I
have some money over there' and she gets it from deeply in her backpack
in another room. I say 'I'll give it back to you next monday' and she
goes 'oh you don't have to rush.' She even turned friendlier alround.
Man, these reactions were so out of line with how the situation seemed
in my head, that I was really confused... I still don't really get it
now... If this means what I hope it means, then I have ruined SO MANY
chances already that it isn't funny anymore - all those girls actually
thought I wasn't interested in them??? Argh
> > Sigh. Now I'd like to ask the
> > group, how quickly can you go for the kiss, how do you know? This
was
> > my second attempt at an ACTIVE pua ever, so don't be too harsh on
> me :-)
> >
>
> We're all friends here (for teh most part), be gotta call em like we
> see em...
>
> NightLight9
I just had another mojo-boost! There was this goodlooking blonde I met
about one year ago, with newyear, when she was with her boyfriend. I
hadn't seen her all year, nor heard anything about her. One month ago
she saw me play fussball in a bar (I didn't look at her, but my friend
told me it was her that stood by the table for 2-3 mins). Now all of a
sudden my friend told me that she asked me to accompany her (in a
group) at a restaurant for newyear. And my friend wasn't even going
with us! It's good to know that you look cool even if you are doing
nothing :-)
Hell, even my parents were touching me a lot more this weekend than
they used to...
invictus
PS: Nightlight, I wanna thank you for the 'spike your hair' advice in
some thread, that really was one of the best adjustments to my look in
years!
invi...@my-deja.com
Got it
> Another thing if your not sure about the women you can try this.Just
go for
> the kiss and stop
> about 2 to 3 inches from her mouth and she what she does 98% of the
time
> she'll kiss you.
I like this one A LOT! Thanks
> Just stop thinking so much, by the time you've got a hb in a slow
dance it's
> because she want's to BE WITH YOU.
> Just let nature take it's course and take her home and fuck her.
> Look the worst that's going to happen is she'll push away, eject her,
then
> then move onto the next woman.
but I REALLY hate rejections. I've never been rejected, nor LJBF'd. I
badly need some rejections...
> You'll find towards the end of the night she''ll come back to you
most of
> the time anyway.
> What have you to lose? When I want to kiss a woman I just go for it
anyway
> and I only been slapped a couple of times
> (Love Taps :-) .)
This is the advice I wanted to hear, thank you a lot!
invictus
> ShadowJack
night...@hotmail.com
invi...@my-deja.com wrote:
> > NightLight9
> > In article <83cbcm$vbr$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
> > invi...@my-deja.com wrote:
> > The alchohol will definately have a negative effect. Two drink
Max...
>
> Nah..
I some cases it won't make a difference, especially if your good
looking, but I a good number of cases, you need your wits about you.
Paricuarly if your after women with high self esteem and intelligence.
> > That's not a style its the complete lack of a style...
>
> lol - but I don't have a clue what else I should say... and this
worked
> two on two. (my first approach was identical to this one)
Either you are a poor describer, you have great tone or you are a
knockout...
> > The not talking much if she's talking is good!
>
> I didn't do that. I interrupted her a lot when she asked something or
> tried to say something...
It's hard to get a flavor of what you mean, but what I was saying is
that it sounded like she was driving the conversation while you were
interjecting and that's good! Anytime the woman drives and she isn't
being a bitch, it's good.
> She wasn't drunk at all. She pointed them out all of the time 'Hey you
> already asked that!' (heard that alot), 'No I don't have a room
myself,
> I live with my parents, I told you that already!' etc
WTF is wrong with this chick... Anyway, I'm glad this is working for,
but I'm not sure you need my help... Sounds like you are a natural. I
am not, so go for it, and read NYC's posts.
> What I gave you here was my fluff talk - I have to say something,
right?
Yes, but never left the fluff. You never even built raport, she
did!!! :-)
> > Totally on your jock. This girl would likely have left with you at
> > this point.
>
> Aw that hurts :-)
> > > Questioning her hobbies, I find out she
> > > does 'self-defense', and I ask 'so will you kick my butt if I do
> > > something wrong to you?' She smiles and replies 'depends.' btw, I
> have
> > > my arm around her.
> >
> > Good line if you said it confidently. Her response was the
equivalent
> > of yes take me now. Contrast this to my explanation of the second
B &
> > N chicks responses on our date (and she slept with me).
>
> Crap yes that was really cool! So little responses and she was still
in
> for you... I am learning a lot here!
I asked her about it afterwards and she was like, I was talking to you
wasn't I, so I went into the body language with her and she admited
that she holds back and that she didn't expect a guy to notice her BL.
She is basically my love slave now. :-)
> > You rejected her, she feels like shit. She put herself on the line
> and
> > you told her she was unattractive and that you were just playing
> > games. You should feel bad for leading her on like that.
>
> I just had another chick (the 9) call me a 'heartbreaker' an hour ago.
> - she said 'at least I TELL guys I am not interested, I don't feel
them
> up first' eh eh eh :-)
>
> Oh, and this chick went home immediately after I left her. Maybe I
> really hurt her, like you said...
Well next time you can make her (who ever her is...) happy. You owe it
to her.
> > >Some minutes pass in silence, which is
> > > bad ofcourse. I start to feel very awkward.
> >
> > Silence isn't bad... This situation awas bad.
>
> Silence isn't bad? I always thought it was. It always makes me feel
> awkward, but that's probably the bad part altogether. Better just stay
> confident and relaxed.
In this case it might have been... I talk more than any person I know
(except a few women), and even I know when to shut up and just hold a
girl and look in her eys and smile and nuzzle and let the physical
feeling of just being near some one and holding them say more than I
could ever say in words... If you hug a girl (after you've been
talking for a while), believe me she is deep in "conversation"
[snipped a lot of possitives!!!]
NightLight9
invi...@my-deja.com
> > > The alchohol will definately have a negative effect. Two drink
> Max...
> >
> > Nah..
>
> I some cases it won't make a difference, especially if your good
> looking, but I a good number of cases, you need your wits about you.
> Paricuarly if your after women with high self esteem and intelligence.
Yesterday I was DRUNK. My eyes had 'the drunk man's gaze', I smelled
after alcohol, I was ranting, etc. That's bad. When I went out, I had a
few drinks beforehand, got drunk, then went out and I became just
'light-headed' which was a pretty good state to be in.
> > > That's not a style its the complete lack of a style...
> >
> > lol - but I don't have a clue what else I should say... and this
> worked
> > two on two. (my first approach was identical to this one)
>
> Either you are a poor describer, you have great tone or you are a
> knockout...
I'm no knockout, I would pick tone. When I'm in a good mood, my voice
carries. In the train I was talking to a friend, and a girl next to me
was also smiling and laughing along. Yesterday that 'ability' sucked,
b/c we were in a group and whenever I wanted to talk to one person, I
couldn't just talk normally, b/c then everyone would shut up and start
to listen to me! I had to wisper, that sucked...
> > > The not talking much if she's talking is good!
> >
> > I didn't do that. I interrupted her a lot when she asked something
or
> > tried to say something...
>
> It's hard to get a flavor of what you mean, but what I was saying is
> that it sounded like she was driving the conversation while you were
> interjecting and that's good! Anytime the woman drives and she isn't
> being a bitch, it's good.
I was totally driving the convo. I asked her questions about the topics
I gave you before, she replied, and I commented on what she said, then
I asked some more. Like:
Me: Are you a good dancer?
Her: Well a little
Me: seriously? (grin as if I don't believe her)
Her - whatever (I didn't really listen)
(note: I didn't use tangents, more like the 20 questions game)
Me: Do you dance in your room sometimes?
Her: no
Me: some of my female friends do that - are you sure you don't? (smile)
Her: nooo (smile)
Me: Can you teach me to dance (grin)
Her: you can't teach something like that... (shyish smile)
Me: Sure you can!
etc
(this gives an acurate description of the convo all night long - and
she smiled ALWAYS and took all my kino without any objections)
And I was so into my own talk, that sometimes she would start saying
something, but I would just interrupt her and throw my next question as
if she wasn't talking at all - I know, that's bad, and I'll adjust that
for the future.
Seriously, I was standing there and this stuff was all that was coming
out of my mouth. What should I say? What do YOU say to a complete
stranger?
> > She wasn't drunk at all. She pointed them out all of the time 'Hey
you
> > already asked that!' (heard that alot), 'No I don't have a room
> myself,
> > I live with my parents, I told you that already!' etc
>
> WTF is wrong with this chick... Anyway, I'm glad this is working for,
> but I'm not sure you need my help... Sounds like you are a natural.
I
> am not, so go for it, and read NYC's posts.
>
> > What I gave you here was my fluff talk - I have to say something,
> right?
>
> Yes, but never left the fluff. You never even built raport, she
> did!!! :-)
Do you mean 'talk about intimate things' or what??? I build rapport
with BL! My way of acting is that when I say something I am always
waiting for a bodylingual (?) response. It's hard to explain, but
people notice this and it almost forces them to be responsive. When
some people smile, they just smile. When I smile, I look at their faces
in such a way that either they smile too, or they REJECT ME and don't.
That's why I could never have PUed a chick like you did, who was that
little responsive. (I'm improving on this flaw though) It would feel
like she would be constantly rejecting me - although she wouldn't have
been ofcourse. If you don't really know what I mean, then imagine this:
a guy walks up to you, smiles and shakes your hand, nothing more
nothing less, or a guy walks up to you, smiles, shakes your hand, looks
into your eyes and holds completely still. The latter puts pressure on
you to react, the former doesn't. I hope you know what I mean. And from
what I gathered, you are exactly the opposite of me. Same for mystery.
> I asked her about it afterwards and she was like, I was talking to you
> wasn't I, so I went into the body language with her and she admited
> that she holds back and that she didn't expect a guy to notice her BL.
> She is basically my love slave now. :-)
It's good to know that they don't have to be 100% responsive to be into
you! I always took little things, like her not smiling when I smile
(even ONCE!!), as tiny rejections. Now it seems I just have to ignore
that and keep going. Very interesting. I blew shitloads of
opportunities b/c of this.
> > > You rejected her, she feels like shit. She put herself on the
line
> > and
> > > you told her she was unattractive and that you were just playing
> > > games. You should feel bad for leading her on like that.
> >
> > I just had another chick (the 9) call me a 'heartbreaker' an hour
ago.
> > - she said 'at least I TELL guys I am not interested, I don't feel
> them
> > up first' eh eh eh :-)
> >
> > Oh, and this chick went home immediately after I left her. Maybe I
> > really hurt her, like you said...
>
> Well next time you can make her (who ever her is...) happy. You owe
it
> to her.
I like will not see her again, and it made me indeed feel a bit bad to
have hurt her, b/c she was really a nice person. If I think about
everything I said, she really must have thought I was making fun of her
at certain points in time ... crap ...
> > > >Some minutes pass in silence, which is
> > > > bad ofcourse. I start to feel very awkward.
> > >
> > > Silence isn't bad... This situation awas bad.
> >
> > Silence isn't bad? I always thought it was. It always makes me feel
> > awkward, but that's probably the bad part altogether. Better just
stay
> > confident and relaxed.
>
> In this case it might have been... I talk more than any person I
know
> (except a few women), and even I know when to shut up and just hold a
> girl and look in her eys and smile and nuzzle and let the physical
> feeling of just being near some one and holding them say more than I
> could ever say in words... If you hug a girl (after you've been
> talking for a while), believe me she is deep in "conversation"
>
> [snipped a lot of possitives!!!]
> NightLight9
invictus
night...@hotmail.com
invi...@my-deja.com wrote:
> Yesterday I was DRUNK. My eyes had 'the drunk man's gaze', I smelled
> after alcohol, I was ranting, etc. That's bad. When I went out, I had
a
> few drinks beforehand, got drunk, then went out and I became just
> 'light-headed' which was a pretty good state to be in.
I get tired when I do that, but if you are not to the point where it
affecting your ability to reason, who am I to argue...
> I'm no knockout, I would pick tone. When I'm in a good mood, my voice
> carries. In the train I was talking to a friend, and a girl next to me
> was also smiling and laughing along. Yesterday that 'ability' sucked,
> b/c we were in a group and whenever I wanted to talk to one person, I
> couldn't just talk normally, b/c then everyone would shut up and start
> to listen to me! I had to wisper, that sucked...
Good, that will make life easier, work on your tone and soon you will
be able to illicit emotions just by how you say something (I can't do
this yet, my natural tone is really bad, so I just try to get to where
you are now).
That is more than fluff but not directed yet, the coment about the room
and the joking give and take are good. The stuff you are saying is
more than the typical "do you like to dance? cool... where do you
work? cool..." Once you learn how to lead the conversation to sex and
things that make her feel good to be with you in the same ways, you
will be unstoppable.
> Seriously, I was standing there and this stuff was all that was coming
> out of my mouth. What should I say? What do YOU say to a complete
> stranger?
You need to be ready to pounce on things that would go beyond the
normal. I like the dancing in the room comment. The key is to build a
connection (raport) that allows you to get beyond the fluff quickly.
One really good way to do this is to disagree (or say something that
you know she will disagree with) and then let her convince you she is
right. Pick something that she knows a lot about. (this is what I
would call semi fluff in that if you pay attention, which later on you
mention that you do, you can begin to get real feedback as to what her
values are)
H: I'm a ballerina
Y: Really, I think that's interesting. I had a friend in school who
was a really good gymnist but she stopped because it was taking over
her life. She basically had no life other than gymnastics. Do you get
that feeling with ballet sometimes?"
If she answers yes or no to this question, wait. She's got to give
some feedback on what's important to her other than ballet. It also
allows you to segway into to other areas that sound stilted
otherwise: "oh really, what else interests you besides ballet?"
Notes on the above section: I always refer to my friends as women.
This is why I don't drink, I want to be able to pick up on little
things and make snap (accurate) decisions on what's important to her.
> Do you mean 'talk about intimate things' or what??? I build rapport
> with BL! My way of acting is that when I say something I am always
> waiting for a bodylingual (?) response.
This is the kind of stuff that needs to be in your initial report (so
does the conversation snippit above.
> It's hard to explain, but
> people notice this and it almost forces them to be responsive. When
> some people smile, they just smile. When I smile, I look at their
faces
> in such a way that either they smile too, or they REJECT ME and don't.
Yes, I've worked very hard to gain the ability to smile like that.
Sometimes during a conversation, if I already have some raport, I just
do that and don't say anything.
> That's why I could never have PUed a chick like you did, who was that
> little responsive. (I'm improving on this flaw though) It would feel
> like she would be constantly rejecting me - although she wouldn't have
> been ofcourse.
Tell me about it. In the past I would have either given up or pushed
harder, both would have resulted in me not getting laid.
> If you don't really know what I mean, then imagine this:
> a guy walks up to you, smiles and shakes your hand, nothing more
> nothing less, or a guy walks up to you, smiles, shakes your hand,
looks
> into your eyes and holds completely still. The latter puts pressure on
> you to react, the former doesn't. I hope you know what I mean. And
from
> what I gathered, you are exactly the opposite of me. Same for mystery.
I believe in pressure...
> It's good to know that they don't have to be 100% responsive to be
into
> you! I always took little things, like her not smiling when I smile
> (even ONCE!!), as tiny rejections. Now it seems I just have to ignore
> that and keep going. Very interesting. I blew shitloads of
> opportunities b/c of this.
Me too...
> I like will not see her again, and it made me indeed feel a bit bad to
> have hurt her, b/c she was really a nice person. If I think about
> everything I said, she really must have thought I was making fun of
her
> at certain points in time ... crap ...
I didn't say that to make you feel bad. Fuck that. I was just giving
you a hard time. Compared to the crap some women pull what you did was
down right sweet. Anyway, just be aware next time. It's not like you
had malicious intent.
NightLight9
invi...@my-deja.com
> I get tired when I do that, but if you are not to the point where it
> affecting your ability to reason, who am I to argue...
It depends on the situation. Sometimes I get tired too, but not now, I
was too cheerfull.
> > I'm no knockout, I would pick tone. When I'm in a good mood, my
voice
> > carries. In the train I was talking to a friend, and a girl next to
me
> > was also smiling and laughing along. Yesterday that 'ability'
sucked,
> > b/c we were in a group and whenever I wanted to talk to one person,
I
> > couldn't just talk normally, b/c then everyone would shut up and
start
> > to listen to me! I had to wisper, that sucked...
>
> Good, that will make life easier, work on your tone and soon you will
> be able to illicit emotions just by how you say something (I can't do
> this yet, my natural tone is really bad, so I just try to get to where
> you are now).
I always thought my tone was bad and that my voice was boring,
seriously! But it's just that when I get in a good mood, then it
suddenly carries. When I'm tired I can't inspire anyone. Just noticed
today, *again*. Mental state is everything.
The joking give and take is what I meant with '.. and commenting about
it.'
> The stuff you are saying is
> more than the typical "do you like to dance? cool... where do you
> work? cool..." Once you learn how to lead the conversation to sex
and
> things that make her feel good to be with you in the same ways, you
> will be unstoppable.
I could drive it to sex but I don't want to do that (not yet anyway).
How exactly do you drive it to the good feeling or what you said? Are
you talking about SS-patterns?
> > Seriously, I was standing there and this stuff was all that was
coming
> > out of my mouth. What should I say? What do YOU say to a complete
> > stranger?
>
> You need to be ready to pounce on things that would go beyond the
> normal. I like the dancing in the room comment.
That's ofcourse why I mentionned it. That and the line about 'are you
gonna tackle me if I kiss you?' were my 2 best things all night. :-)
I used the room comment on the previous chick too. But she said she did
dance when alone, and that makes it even better!!
> The key is to build a
> connection (raport) that allows you to get beyond the fluff quickly.
> One really good way to do this is to disagree (or say something that
> you know she will disagree with) and then let her convince you she is
> right. Pick something that she knows a lot about. (this is what I
> would call semi fluff in that if you pay attention, which later on you
> mention that you do, you can begin to get real feedback as to what her
> values are)
> H: I'm a ballerina
> Y: Really, I think that's interesting. I had a friend in school who
> was a really good gymnist but she stopped because it was taking over
> her life. She basically had no life other than gymnastics. Do you
get
> that feeling with ballet sometimes?"
I like that one. But you are actually fully conversing here. I like it
much better to keep things short, so that one sentence at a time is
enough. I'm just experimenting ofcourse, I still have to find my swing.
> If she answers yes or no to this question, wait. She's got to give
> some feedback on what's important to her other than ballet. It also
> allows you to segway into to other areas that sound stilted
> otherwise: "oh really, what else interests you besides ballet?"
> Notes on the above section: I always refer to my friends as women.
>
> This is why I don't drink, I want to be able to pick up on little
> things and make snap (accurate) decisions on what's important to her.
>
> > Do you mean 'talk about intimate things' or what??? I build rapport
> > with BL! My way of acting is that when I say something I am always
> > waiting for a bodylingual (?) response.
>
> This is the kind of stuff that needs to be in your initial report (so
> does the conversation snippit above.
It's hard for me to predict what isn't going to be understood as I mean
it, and what is - it all makes perfect sense to me :-)
> > It's hard to explain, but
> > people notice this and it almost forces them to be responsive. When
> > some people smile, they just smile. When I smile, I look at their
> faces
> > in such a way that either they smile too, or they REJECT ME and
don't.
>
> Yes, I've worked very hard to gain the ability to smile like that.
> Sometimes during a conversation, if I already have some raport, I just
> do that and don't say anything.
I never do that. Whenever I don't talk, I look away (with my eyes),
just being cool. When I talk, I use this smile. It covers up all the BS
:-)
> > That's why I could never have PUed a chick like you did, who was
that
> > little responsive. (I'm improving on this flaw though) It would feel
> > like she would be constantly rejecting me - although she wouldn't
have
> > been ofcourse.
>
> Tell me about it. In the past I would have either given up or pushed
> harder, both would have resulted in me not getting laid.
This is the most valuable advice I have found on this NG so far! I
never had problems with supplicating, or talking to chicks, or other
typical AFC-problems. Now it's starting to gather where I'm fumbling!
Everyone has their own problems I guess
> > If you don't really know what I mean, then imagine this:
> > a guy walks up to you, smiles and shakes your hand, nothing more
> > nothing less, or a guy walks up to you, smiles, shakes your hand,
> looks
> > into your eyes and holds completely still. The latter puts pressure
on
> > you to react, the former doesn't. I hope you know what I mean. And
> from
> > what I gathered, you are exactly the opposite of me. Same for
mystery.
>
> I believe in pressure...
This is REALLY subtle, but like all BL, it makes a big difference. I
wish you could see me do it. My parents were once telling me how
sympathetic a certain doctor was, and when I met him he did the exact
same thing as me.
I modelled it after a friend of mine some time ago (not consciously).
> > It's good to know that they don't have to be 100% responsive to be
> into
> > you! I always took little things, like her not smiling when I smile
> > (even ONCE!!), as tiny rejections. Now it seems I just have to
ignore
> > that and keep going. Very interesting. I blew shitloads of
> > opportunities b/c of this.
>
> Me too...
It leaves a bit of uncertainty in me b/c now it's much harder to
estimate what certain ppl think of me. But I find out day and again
that people who I thought didn't like me, actually do. No need to treat
them unnice then. I'm just gonna look at overall behavior from now on.
If they don't ignore me cold and if they aren't rude, then it's ok.
On one of my exams last summer I had a professor who wasn't very
responsive. But when I was leaving, he was extremely friendly. And
although I had 3 questions completely wrong and only 2 kinda right, he
passed me. eh eh He liked me ;-)
> > I like will not see her again, and it made me indeed feel a bit bad
to
> > have hurt her, b/c she was really a nice person. If I think about
> > everything I said, she really must have thought I was making fun of
> her
> > at certain points in time ... crap ...
>
> I didn't say that to make you feel bad. Fuck that. I was just giving
> you a hard time. Compared to the crap some women pull what you did
was
> down right sweet. Anyway, just be aware next time. It's not like you
> had malicious intent.
I had already drawn this conclusion before you said it. And you say I
didn't have malicious intent? eeeeh you don't know what I would have
done to her if she would've accompanied me to my room ;-)
invictus