Strike While The Iron Is HOT or sit in LJBF-land
AlphaHot1
In a message dated 4/10/2001 5:33:56 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
____...@yahoo.com writes:
<< Hi,
I am a person who has just lately begun to realize the
error in my AFC ways. I have been reading your
postings on LJBF situations in the newsgroups. You
seem to have a clue whereas I do not. Can you please
help with my current LJBF troubles?
::::::::::More than likely, and it ALWAYS depends on the specific situation.
My friends and I befriended a stripper late last year.
We would all go out and hang. She has made out with a
female and male friend of mine. And she has had sex
with the same male friend as well.
::::::::::Sounds like she's very open minded and willing to try new
things...(as she probably has before)... good so far.
NOTE: What did the OTHER male friend do that led up to having sex with her??
Think man, think!
We started to hang out a little more than usual after
she fucked my friend.
::::::::::"We," as in YOU specifically? I assume so. And again, why why WHY did
she fuck the friend??
In early March she called me 4
times to hang. On the last two of the 4 occasions she
opened up to me and told me things she had not told
any of my other friends (abusive past, things she has
done or that has been done to her that she feels is
fucked up, etc.)
::::::::::It may or may not matter, but are you SURE she told only YOU about
these things? Chicks usually have a habit of saying whatever is most
convenient/will get them what they want. But that's ok...
There was some kino, leg touching
and hand holding at the dinner table for the last 2
times we met up. Being the AFC I was, I only realized
in hindsight what the hell was going on at that
moment.
::::::::::How long did all this Kino last? 10 minutes? 30 minutes? Two hours?
As a rule, if Kino is going on for more
than 20-30 minutes and nothing is yet happening, you're getting into the
danger-zone. REMEMBER this ALL-IMPORTANT rule in seduction/fucking the chick
you want: NOTHING and I mean absolutely NOTHING is more important than STRIKING
WHILE THE IRON IS HOT!! You would absolutely CRINGE if you knew how many guys
screw up a perfect opportunity to fuck based on this terrible, terrible
mistake. I could NEVER emphasize this enough!!
After that we would talk on the phone more, hang out a
little less.
::::::::::Generally, bad sign right there. It should be more and more
Two weeks ago, we are all at the club
under the influence of narcotics that made us very
touchy feely, no sex or kissing though. Immaterial?
Dunno?
:::::::::A little xtasy in the mix... Neither here nor there at the moment
A week afterwards I pull an AFC move by helping her
move. I rented a car and we moved her shit and we had
dinner. We both got a little tipsy. We ended up at my
house we fell asleep together on a futon in front of
my TV. We make out the next morning and I told her
that I would pick her up from work.
::::::::::Straight and simple facts my friend; you should have ended up fucking
her THAT NIGHT! There's no excuse for it.
You're both a little tipsy? She's at your house? And ON THE FUTON? She's a
stripper? (who are usually VERY sexual people) Your AFC thinking was DEFINITELY
getting in the way here. STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT! And if it isn't hot
enough, MAKE it hot... you may NEVER get a second chance. Always remember it.
Also, It MAY have been that sex with you was your intended "reward" for helping
her move. A little bit of the reciprocity rule coming into play, although this
is more speculation on my part.
When I go to pick her up she is distant and says that
she sees us getting too serious to soon, that it would
fuck her up in the head, that she wants to date other
people, blah, blah, blah.
::::::::::And why? I can almost GUARANTEE you that it was because you did NOT
fuck her when you had the chance. You GAVE HER A CHANCE to go home, think about
all the bad things that could happen, think about the fact that you weren't
aggressive or man enough to FUCK her when you had the CHANCE. You CONFUSED her
and chicks DON'T want to be confused and will take the EASIEST way out. Tip:
READ Ross's latest news letter, you'll be VERY GLAD you did.
She did not want to talk
about it when I offered the opportunity and I got a
little pissed and I left the club. (I know, I should
not have lost my cool and taken that as a rejection
but should have seen it as an oppty. I should have
also agreed that seeing other people was important)
::::::::::At this point she has a form of "buyers remorse" without ever even
having bought anything. She's probably seeing you in a completely different
light because of your past fuck up with her. Now you are in
platonic-buddy-land. Sometimes VERY difficult to get out of once you are there,
but not impossible.
Talked to her on the phone 3x after that. She offered
friendship.
::::::::::Is she offering REAL friendship? Or "I want to get you off my back"
friendship? If it's the first, you may have a very good chance of a TA.
I, regrettably said yes. Another time I
tried to convey that I was cool with being friends and
being physical. She said, "You know, I do not do that
with everyone".
::::::::::Assume that this is a lie.
I responded with a "me neither"
:::::::::::Her internal thinking: "This guys doesn't do that kind of thing with
many chicks." Try "I understand how you feel, I've done this with a few really
wonderful women in the past and when we did, we both found out how absolutely
great it felt! It was an absolutely awesome experience for both of us!" etc etc
etc (your still technically in TA mode here, so you better be damn good)
then
she came back with a "But, I did not feel comfortable"
doing that. Did not feel comfortable?!! We were
kissing and lightly touching for 15 -20 minutes. She
even went to the bathroom to brush her teeth to
freshen her breath and we made out some more!
::::::::::Ok stop. Went to the bathroom to freshen her breath in the middle of
a makeout? If you had been making out and it wasn't a problem for 10-15
minutes, why would it suddenly BECOME a problem?? How long did you make out
AFTER she freshened her breath? Was she really doing it for you? Or was she
just getting ready for the day? As for not "feeling comfortable", she's
probably used to making out with guys the next MORNING that she FUCKED the
NIGHT BEFORE.
Routine, habit, and familiarity are VERY powerful determiners of behavior.
The next day I talk to her and I tell her that I
could not be her friend. She basically said I was a
dick.
::::::::::Of course, because she sees you as the prick who DIDN'T give her what
she was probably EXPECTING and now you are LJBFing her.
I told her that I wasn't and that I had to
behonest to her and myself and if I did pretend to ber
her friend that it would kill me. She said she would
comeover to pick up a piece of music equipment that
she lent to me. She has not picked it up as of yet and
called me once to get it but has not called me back or
emailed.
I know I fucked this up badly. I have already taken a
"I can't be your friend stance" in the most unsmooth
way. What is the situation as you see it? I know I
have to be a rock and not have contact with her since
I have taken the stance. What can I do to be with her? >>
::::::::::Forget everything. It all goes back to the night that she stayed at
your house. THAT was the moment of truth. THAT was the prime moment of decision
and destiny. THAT was to set the course of what your ongoing status would be to
her. You unwittingly fucked it up and put yourself in the non-sexual, non-lover
category. You want to be with her do you? I can't guarantee you anything, but
you MIGHT try something like this: Call her up, tell her you've been thinking
about what you said (about the LJBF thing) and that you would REALLY LIKE to be
a friend to her and that you're really concerned about her welfare and life
blah blah blah. You have to be (or at least SOUND) completely sincere about
this.
The idea is to get her TALKING AND RECEPTIVE at this point. WHEN SHE TAKES THE
BAIT: fluff talk the shit out of her for a while, just normal conversation. Get
her feeling very good, feeling very comfortable. AGREE with shit she says to
you. Develop a rapport. THEN, start SMOOTHLY laying the patterns on her.
Fascination, IC, friends-into-lovers. ELICIT her deepest values and criteria
for a great relationship, great sexual experiences, etc. Be cool, be smooth, be
powerful. Above all BE CONGRUENT. Done right, you may just damn well pull off a
successful TA.
Ray Gordon
> times to hang. On the last two of the 4 occasions she
> opened up to me and told me things she had not told
> any of my other friends (abusive past, things she has
> done or that has been done to her that she feels is
> fucked up, etc.)
>
>
> ::::::::::It may or may not matter, but are you SURE she told only YOU
> about
> these things? Chicks usually have a habit of saying whatever is most
> convenient/will get them what they want. But that's ok...
Okay if a guy wants to settle for a dishonest chick, I suppose.
> Two weeks ago, we are all at the club
> under the influence of narcotics that made us very
> touchy feely, no sex or kissing though. Immaterial?
> Dunno?
>
>
> :::::::::A little xtasy in the mix... Neither here nor there at the
> moment
Wow, "drug game."
usen...@hotmail.com
www.urine-pimp.com
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