Do Women Really Want A Guy That Makes Them Laugh?
Travis Stone
Ladies of A.R. :
I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor". Well, pardon
me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague. Just what do
women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
who can make me laugh." There *must* be a hell of alot more to
it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
should be dripping with women. Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
What else are you looking for?
---- T.R. Stone
Average-Looking, Kinda Funny, Completely Perplexed By Women
Angela Johnson
In article <stone.724361679@cwis> Travis Stone, st...@cwis.unomaha.edu
writes:
>I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
>woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor". Well, pardon
>me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague. Just what do
>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
>
>I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
>who can make me laugh." There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>should be dripping with women. Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?
>
>---- T.R. Stone
Well, I'll try explaining it from my point of view. I happen to
like men who are mature regarding relationships and know how
to communicate openly and honestly. I also like a sense of
humor - someone who doesn't take life *too* seriously - seriously,
but not to the point where he never laughs or finds time to
enjoy himself. Some men get so wrapped up in their work or
themselves that they don't take time to *enjoy* life. I don't
like it when guys act foolishly and have an immature sense of humor
but people CAN have a mature sense of humor. In fact, there are
even times in bed that you should be able to laugh WITH each other.
Hope this helps - it somewhat hard to describe/explain but here
is my view of a wanting a "sense of humor".
-Angela
Amy J. Pezzillo
Well, regarding the humor thing: I want a guy I can laugh WITH.
i.e., we find the same things funny, and are comfortable losing all
controll and laughing together until we can't stand up. I don't
really want a guy to "make me laugh." If I wanted to be entertained,
I'd go to a nightclub. It gets a little tedious sitting there while a
guy is putting on his comic act for you.
Other than that, I want someone who's sensitive, caring, kind, not
afraid to share his feelings, who has common interests, and who's fun
to be with (goes back to laughing at the same things, but also
includes not being afraid to lose 20 years off his age when it starts
to snow.) Looks aren't terribly important, but it helps if his kisses
can make me melt.
(Note: this is not a request, I've already found someone who acts 2
when it snows. I'm just answering the question.)
Most of all, I want a guy to be himself. It's no good if he tries to
act like what he thinks I want, 'cause sooner or later, I'll have to
find out what he really is, and what a waste of time if it's not who
he pretended to be.
Good Luck!
ajp
Sharon O'Neil
>Ladies of A.R. :
>I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
>woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor". Well, pardon
>me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague. Just what do
>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
What do we mean? Well, actually, Travis, it's going to mean many
different things to many different women. I like someone who can laugh
at my jokes. :-)
>I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
>who can make me laugh." There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>should be dripping with women. Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?
I like men who are fun, who enjoy life, who don't just sit around all the
time doing nothing. Maybe the word I'm looking for is spontaneity. I also
like a man who is intelligent, open to new ideas and experiences. I also
would like to meet a man who is able to deal with the fact that I'm currently
doing a lot of growing up right now.
I'm pretty much opposed to only one thing: bigots.
>---- T.R. Stone
> Average-Looking, Kinda Funny, Completely Perplexed By Women
You sound normal to me. Our aim, as women, is to perplex you men.
Sharon
on...@cwis.unomaha.edu
Marcia
>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
Well, I don't know what women mean, I only know what I mean. I like a guy who
can tell jokes. And laugh at my jokes. And laugh at himself. And laugh at
life, because a lot of it *is* funny. Mostly, just someone who doesn't take
it all so seriously all the time.
Brownie points are awarded if he loves really lowbrow comedies.
>Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?
A certified personality. Preferably not obnoxious ;-). Compatibility. A
somewhat large nose. Glasses. Take my work seriously. Takes his work seriously.
Isn't afraid to talk about "the relationship" and where we're going. Table
manners. Likes cats. Tactfully honest.
Of course, that's only ME. Just about every other woman on the face of this
earth is going to be looking for different things.
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk ADDRESSES: mar...@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies." m...@cisco.com
KSV
In article <stone.724361679@cwis>, st...@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes...
I like someone I can joke around with, pun with, be silly with... all things
that revolve around a sense of humour... someone who's able to handle being
picked on/teased (in a friendly/non-insultive way) instead of just dishing out
all the picking on... honesty, sincerity and respect are other things I value
in a man... as well as someone who is affectionate without being
overpowering.... guys who make silly faces and do good impressions are a
definite plus in my book too. :) It also helps when you're out (or in, even)
with someone whose mind is running the same joke book as yours... there are
some things I find utterly distasteful that other women would laugh at... it's
all a matter of personal taste... *grin* then again, there are those who have
no taste whatsoever! :)
-- Kristy
macivor dawna
>
>I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
>woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor". Well, pardon
>me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague. Just what do
>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
I'd like a guy who can make you laugh once in a while, and is fun to be
with, someone who is there to cheer you up when you need someone. I doubt
any woman would want to go out with a guy who is mega conservative and
doesn't laugh or even smile.
>
>I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
>who can make me laugh." There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>should be dripping with women. Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?
>
>---- T.R. Stone
> Average-Looking, Kinda Funny, Completely Perplexed By Women
>
I don't want a guy who is constantly joking around - no seriousness in him
at all. It's nice to joke once in a while, but it's also nice to talk to
him about anything and know that you'll get a serious answer. It's hard to
say... I hope this helps!
Smiles,
Dawna =)
Christopher Jon Petit
>A certified personality. Preferably not obnoxious ;-). Compatibility. A
>somewhat large nose. Glasses. Take my work seriously. Takes his work seriously.
Certified personality? What are you talking about? Certifiably insane?
THAT'S ME!! :&) :&)
--
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues. Buy
yours now and avoid the rush! They make great Christmas gifts!
"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right
to say it." - Voltaire.
Travis Stone
To all the ladies of A.R. who kindly replied to my post (so far):
Thank you for your input---it's more than I had to go on before.
You (the MAJORITY of you, anyhow) seem to be saying---and correct me
if I've got it wrong---be funny, but don't go overboard. Administer
humor in small doses and with care. Be able to recieve as well as
give. No squirting with seltzer bottles, or putting a whoopie cushion
under the lady's chair in the restaurant or theatre. No sending her
chocolates with onion-flavored centers for Valentine's Day. In other
words: Buffonery Verboten Ist.
Got it!
Thanks, ladies!
...T.R. Stone
jennifer
>who can make me laugh." There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>should be dripping with women. Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?
>
>---- T.R. Stone
> Average-Looking, Kinda Funny, Completely Perplexed By Women
>
The laughter *is* one of the, lets say, top five things that *I* look for in a
man... Granted, the other four are just as important, but without laughter
happiness, and the general warm feeling that one gets from the two,
it just isn't worth it to pursue more!
As for the others in my "top five"
1) A man has to be able to share in my dreams, and allow me to share
his. Not that our "dreams" need to be the same, but that we can help
and support eachother in reaching out to attain them.
2) A man that can help burden my sorrows, and allow me to help with
his. Pain is never easy to deal with, but with the right person, the
'load' can be lightened -without either of the two ever feeling as
though they are over burdened
3)A man that I can respect, and who, in turn, respects me. This one is
often stated, but never really *thought* through... I want to be able
to respect this man for who he is, what he believes in, how he puts
those beliefs into action etc. This seems to be the most difficult
to attain, so often the beliefs & etc are so different that it is
difficult to respect them...
4) Laughter, happiness & etc -I think this section has been explained
5) I suppose that this could go under number 4, but I want to be
able to see his laughter and smile in his eyes... to me the eyes are
a window into a person's mind and heart... it you can't look and see
more than just an 'eye-ball'... the passion is lost.
just my opinion
take it or leave it
-*-Jennifer-*-
Alan D.
> 1) A man has to be able to share in my dreams, and allow me to share
> his. Not that our "dreams" need to be the same, but that we can help
> and support eachother in reaching out to attain them.
> 2) A man that can help burden my sorrows, and allow me to help with
> his. Pain is never easy to deal with, but with the right person, the
> 'load' can be lightened -without either of the two ever feeling as
> though they are over burdened
> 3)A man that I can respect, and who, in turn, respects me. This one is
> often stated, but never really *thought* through... I want to be able
> to respect this man for who he is, what he believes in, how he puts
> those beliefs into action etc. This seems to be the most difficult
> to attain, so often the beliefs & etc are so different that it is
> difficult to respect them...
> 4) Laughter, happiness & etc -I think this section has been explained
> 5) I suppose that this could go under number 4, but I want to be
> able to see his laughter and smile in his eyes... to me the eyes are
> a window into a person's mind and heart... it you can't look and see
> more than just an 'eye-ball'... the passion is lost.
Jennifer,
Thank you! I don't think I've ever seen this put into words quite
this well.......
-=Alan
[Suffice it to say, I agree]
Michael Gordon Weaver
>
>I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
>woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor". Well, pardon
>me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague. Just what do
>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
>I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
>who can make me laugh."
>
means not taking things (especially 'the relationship') too seriously,
and having a positive outlook. "He makes me laugh" means 'I am
comfortable with him'. If you want someone to say these things
about you, don't rush out and buy joke books, learn to be easy
to get along with.
> There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>should be dripping with women. Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?
>
I'll leave this for the ladies.
Michael.
s20...@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au
> In article <stone.724361679@cwis> st...@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:
>>Ladies of A.R. :
>>I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
>>woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor". Well, pardon
>>me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague. Just what do
>>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
>>I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
>>who can make me laugh." There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>>should be dripping with women. Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>>What else are you looking for?
>>---- T.R. Stone
>> Average-Looking, Kinda Funny, Completely Perplexed By Women
> Well, regarding the humor thing: I want a guy I can laugh WITH.
> i.e., we find the same things funny, and are comfortable losing all
> controll and laughing together until we can't stand up. I don't
> really want a guy to "make me laugh." If I wanted to be entertained,
I couldn't agree more it is finding something to laugh with in common that is
the fun part of it and I've always found laughter to be a good way of relaxing.
If you can't laugh with somebody I don't think that you can then share the
other harder and sadder emothions.
> to snow.) Looks aren't terribly important, but it helps if his kisses
> can make me melt.
Yes the melting part is definitely *the* important aspect of it, the cherie on
the top so to speak :). I ditto the other statements as well. It is one thing
for a guy to try to change but he has to want to be that way and no amount of
pretence will cover the real person for long and *that* can only lead to a
great deal of hurt for both. Great to hear you've found your "2 year old in
the snow" Amy.
Hope it helps Travis..we all like to laugh it produces one of the most positive
feelings and releases a lot of tension which is why we feel so great and I
suppose why it can be said that we feel a certain attraction to anyone that can
bring that about. But other things have to fall into place as well.
Irene
rcb...@marshall.wvnet.edu
> his. Pain is never easy to deal with, but with the right person, the
Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
bother with my problems."
> 5) I suppose that this could go under number 4, but I want to be
> able to see his laughter and smile in his eyes... to me the eyes are
> a window into a person's mind and heart... it you can't look and see
> more than just an 'eye-ball'... the passion is lost.
I've heard this all my life, and still I'm not sure if I get it. I've never
been able to see anything extrodinary in anybody's eyes? At least, I don't
think so... Please elaborate.
(( || /\\ \\ / /\\ (( R. Alan Monroe (( STOP ((
)) _// /--\\ \\/ /--\\ )) rcb...@muvms3.wvnet.edu )) TALKING... ))
(( _ (( (( START ((
)) || /\\ // ||_/ )) Pinkwater Rules! )) CHALKING! ))
(( _// /--\\ \\_ || \ (( :^) (( -CMB ((
Christopher Jon Petit
>Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
>bother with my problems."
That's because it's quite true, at least for _girls_. Girls want to have
fun, and anything that reduces that fun for one instand MUST be removed---that
includes your romantic involvement if need be. Women, however, are more
realistic---most women realize that life is some fun, some misery--and you
can't LJBF or dump someone whenever they have some misery.
>I've heard this all my life, and still I'm not sure if I get it. I've never
>been able to see anything extrodinary in anybody's eyes? At least, I don't
>think so... Please elaborate.
I think it's because the eyes are very expressive. And they're also probably
the most beautiful part of the body. If you don't believe me, consider these
descriptions:
A soft green tint with white sprinkled within the green, and thin rays of
pure white faintly streaking across the green. Then, we have a black dot in
the center, and a white radiance circling the edges.
(Green's my favorite color for eyeballs :&) )
Or...
A rich blue tint, with some faintly visible white rays reaching out for the
radiance on the edge, almost like climbing the steps of heaven. And, we still
have a cool black dot in the center.
(That's my eye color)
Or, finally...
A dark, autumm brown, thick and pure. With a soft black dot in the middle,
completing the mysterious darkness that seems to conceal something wonderful.
See what I mean? (Pun intended)
--
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues. Buy
yours now and avoid the rush! They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
KSV
In article <1992Dec16.1...@marshall.wvnet.edu>, rcb...@marshall.wvnet.edu writes...
>
>Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
>bother with my problems."
That's probably true (that a lot of guys think that), but it doesn't
mean that some of us women wish that you fellas would open up and at least let
us *try* to help you sort through what's bugging you?
>
>
>> 5) I suppose that this could go under number 4, but I want to be
>> able to see his laughter and smile in his eyes... to me the eyes are
>> a window into a person's mind and heart... it you can't look and see
>> more than just an 'eye-ball'... the passion is lost.
>
>I've heard this all my life, and still I'm not sure if I get it. I've never
>been able to see anything extrodinary in anybody's eyes? At least, I don't
>think so... Please elaborate.
Well... one example that I can think of is when a person smiles, does
it seem to light up their whole face, or just make an upward curve of their
lips? I guess what #5 in the piece-mealed post above is getting at is the guy
needs to have expressive eyes... I tend to agree with the lady who wrote
that... the eyes are indeed a window into a person's mind & heart... if you're
good at people watching or perceptive in a one on one situation, you can
usually tell a bit of how that person feels about being there with you by
looking them directly in the eye.
Just my $.02.
-- Kristy
al...@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
>> 2) A man that can help burden my sorrows, and allow me to help with
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> his. Pain is never easy to deal with, but with the right person, the
> ^^^
>
>Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
>bother with my problems."
>
>
anything I felt without just exploding at her. Granted, during those
9 months she wasn't my RP, just a very good friend, but the net
result is the same. I don't share pain, except when too much pressure
builds and I explode, then I can dole it out in nice, generous
quantities.
-Alex
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning: This has been written by a noted Cynic and may be hazardous
to your mental health.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Gordon Weaver
>> able to see his laughter and smile in his eyes... to me the eyes are
>> a window into a person's mind and heart... it you can't look and see
>> more than just an 'eye-ball'... the passion is lost.
>
>I've heard this all my life, and still I'm not sure if I get it. I've never
>been able to see anything extrodinary in anybody's eyes? At least, I don't
>think so... Please elaborate.
>
someone feels (at the moment), look into their eyes. If you want to
know how someone feels about you (at the moment), make eye contact.
People can be insincere in their words, and they can smile when they
want to frown, but it is nearly impossible to be insincere with your
eyes. When someone feels love for you, their whole face will light up
-- it's hard to miss.
Michael.
Amy J. Pezzillo
>shortcoming was in _myself_. More often than not, I have a hard time
>believing that a girl/woman could care about me or my problems. Not
>because I'm cynical or anyhting like that, but it just won't sink in.
>I have a pretty giving nature. Maybe subconsciously I feel guilty about
>receiving affection or something. Not guilty, that's not it. It's more
>like it just doesn't FIT or something. Odd, eh?
>
>
Ah! I see what's going on here. We have a primary breakdown of
communication in our society. You see, women are brought up to think
(consciously or uncounsciously) that we're supposed to solve a man's
problems, make it "all better," etc. Part of the phenomenon of
wanting to be needed. The problem seems to be, then, that no one is
telling the *men* that the women are supposed to take emotional care
of them and solve their problems! ;)
Hey, better yet, wouldn't it be neat if society raised us to expect
interdependency? You know, like where you each take care of each
other...what a cool concept. Then everyone would have the security of
being taken care of while feeling the pleasure and neededness of
taking care of someone else.
ajp
rcb...@marshall.wvnet.edu
>> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>> his. Pain is never easy to deal with, but with the right person, the
>> ^^^
>>
>>Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
>>bother with my problems."
>>
>>
> No, it's not just you. It took me 9 months to even tell my current RP
> anything I felt without just exploding at her. Granted, during those
> 9 months she wasn't my RP, just a very good friend, but the net
> result is the same. I don't share pain, except when too much pressure
> builds and I explode, then I can dole it out in nice, generous
> quantities.
I don't have any trouble at all telling someone how I feel, aside from the
usual butterflies. My point was that if I _did_ tell someone how I felt,
and she replied with genuine interest and empathy, I would think to
myself "Could she really _care_???... Nah! Couldn't be!"
It's not so bad that it prevents me from having a girlfriend or anything like
that. When my ex-SO told me she cared, etc. I took her word for it. I knew
on a cerbral level, that yes, she _did_ care. But I just couldn't FEEL it.
It wasn't something that ever caused a problem though.
rcb...@marshall.wvnet.edu
>>Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
>>bother with my problems."
>
> That's because it's quite true, at least for _girls_. Girls want to have
> fun, and anything that reduces that fun for one instand MUST be removed---that
> includes your romantic involvement if need be. Women, however, are more
> realistic---most women realize that life is some fun, some misery--and you
> can't LJBF or dump someone whenever they have some misery.
I guess my original point wasn't clear - I was trying to say that the
shortcoming was in _myself_. More often than not, I have a hard time
believing that a girl/woman could care about me or my problems. Not
because I'm cynical or anyhting like that, but it just won't sink in.
I have a pretty giving nature. Maybe subconsciously I feel guilty about
receiving affection or something. Not guilty, that's not it. It's more
like it just doesn't FIT or something. Odd, eh?
> I think it's because the eyes are very expressive. And they're also probably
> the most beautiful part of the body. If you don't believe me, consider these
> descriptions:
Beautiful, yes without a doubt. I'm talking more along the lines of "spirit"
You know, some people claim they can tell when someone is lying, because of
something "in their eyes", stuff like that. Not just facial expressions, but
someone's actual SELF, their spirit. I haven't had the experience of being
able to detect this like some people say they can.
Midwestman
j> that *I* look for in a
j> man... Granted, the other four are just as important, but without laughter
j> happiness, and the general warm feeling that one gets from the two,
j> it just isn't worth it to pursue more!
j> As for the others in my "top five"
j> 1) A man has to be able to share in my dreams, and allow me to share
j> his. Not that our "dreams" need to be the same, but that we can help
etc...
What a thoughtful message...rather refreshing!
Thanks...