Places to meet people

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Bodhisattvacat

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Sep 12, 2004, 2:19:13 PM9/12/04
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People knock workplace romances. But I think that work is one of the
better places to meet people. You have one important thing in common -
your work interests. For many people, that is a very important part of
their lives. Whereas, if you meet someone in a bar, the only thing you
have in common is that you are drunks. I certainly think that common
work interests is a more solid place on which to build a relationship
than drugs or alcohol.

The latter most often turn out to be disasters. What attracted the two
people to each other - their wild side and sex appeal - becomes a
liability in a long-term relationship, as the two parties try to work
out how to live together and raise children. More often than not, the
man becomes paranoid, jealous, and tries to destroy the very qualities
in the woman that had attracted him to her, while the woman tries to
tame the man - something the man experiences as oppressive. This is a
recipe for mutual annihilation.

On the other hand, relationships that start in AA are some of the best
I have seen. There, the man and the woman have shared past, shared
desire to stay sober, and most importantly of all shared AA vision: To
help other people get sober. These relationships center around their
altruistic mission and shared desire for sobriety. They keep each
other sober, while they carry on their missionary work. These
relationships build mutual respect and mutual appreciation, and the
love grows as an outcome of helping each other and helping other
people.

Same is the case with volunteer organizations, political organizations,
and other places in which people bond over a shared mission and
through pursuing it every day maintain their love and respect.

In the same way, relationships that start at churches, synagogues and
in various spiritual groups center around something important - shared
beliefs. This cuts down tremendously on the amount of internecine
conflict. When two people have conflicting beliefs and aren't willing
to communicate respectfully, they fight all the time. If they have
kids, they undermine the qualities that each other tries to nurture in
them and laden them with all kinds of cognitive dissonance. My parents,
who had incompatible beliefs, were cruel to each other, unforgiving,
hateful. Though loving, intelligent, responsible people, they had a
horrible relationship. This is what happens when people have
incompatible beliefs and aren't willing or able to respectfully
communicate their way to a mutual understanding.

The relationships that start through dating services can turn out
quite well, because both parties have expressed their preferences, and
these become the centerpiece of the relationship. You know what you're
getting, which you do not if you meet someone in a bar. Likewise the
people you meet in classes or on the Internet have shared interests
with your own, and this can be a good start for a relationship.

The best relationships, I am convinced, are ones that start with art.
There, the people bond over shared ideals, over appreciation for each
other's talents, over artistic visions that they have expressed, over
the most central aspects of their personalities. If you want a
passionate, beautiful romance, then art is the way to do it. The more
poetry readings, art shows and theatrical performances, the better
chances people have at having a beautiful life.

Ilya Shambat
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000/poems.htm

block

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Sep 12, 2004, 2:28:11 PM9/12/04
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"Bodhisattvacat" <drr0...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:4f2532f6.04091...@posting.google.com...

> Whereas, if you meet someone in a bar, the only thing you
> have in common is that you are drunks.

Excuse me, but what a crass comment. It is quite possible to enjoy a beer
at the local without getting drunk and without being a drunk.

David

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Sep 12, 2004, 4:35:28 PM9/12/04
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Ilya "Bodhisattvacat" Shambat wrote:

> People knock workplace romances.

We also knock grown men who live with their mommies. Like you.

D.

--
"I don't think that I can take it, cuz it took so long to bake it."
...................................................................
(C) 2004 TheDavid^TM | David, P.O. Box 21403, Louisville, KY 40221

David

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Sep 12, 2004, 4:44:14 PM9/12/04
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It's also possible to use a computer in a college computer lab without
masturbating in front of other people, but that's also news to Ilya.

Brainbane

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Sep 12, 2004, 7:11:12 PM9/12/04
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"David" <thed...@shell.rawbw.com> wrote in message
news:Pine.LNX.4.58.04...@troll.weezl.org...

>
> Ilya "Bodhisattvacat" Shambat wrote:
>
>> People knock workplace romances.
>
> We also knock grown men who live with their mommies. Like you.
>

Men who live with their mommies tend to eat well.

The Danimal

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Sep 12, 2004, 8:08:52 PM9/12/04
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"block" <no.b...@REMOVEntlworld.com> wrote in message news:<%y01d.1297$bW2....@newsfe1-gui.ntli.net>...

But if all the customers only had one beer, the bar would not
stay in business. So you've got a fallacy of composition there.
The light drinkers are essentially freeloading on the heavy
drinkers who keep the bar in business. If it wasn't for the
heavy drinkers, there wouldn't be any bar for the light drinkers
to enjoy.

Thus it's "quite possible" to enjoy a beer at the local without
getting drunk and without being a drunk, but it's not possible
for everyone to drink responsibly and have bars like the
current ones to drink in.

It's also possible to be an honest lawyer, but the 97% of crooked
lawyers give the honest 3% a bad name.

Similarly, it's possible to be a Muslim without being a terrorist,
and a Catholic priest without being a pedophile.

But there are things about the structural reality of bars,
the legal profession, Islam, and the Catholic priesthood
which give rise repeatedly to those problematic behaviors,
and which may, despite protestations to the contrary, be
"essential" in the sense that if you made the changes necessary
to completely stamp out the bad behaviors, the respective
institutions would be so fundamentally altered as to have had
their historic identity obliterated.

That is, if you found a way to make Islam unappealing to
terrorists, the legal profession unappealing to lying crooks,
the Catholic priesthood unappealing to gay pedophiles, and
bars unappealing to drunks, you would basically have to destroy
what each of those things is now.

Wordsmith

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Sep 12, 2004, 9:08:43 PM9/12/04
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"block" <no.b...@REMOVEntlworld.com> wrote in message news:<%y01d.1297$bW2....@newsfe1-gui.ntli.net>...

True. Not that drunks can't have anything in common, but it's best not
to generalize too much.

W :)

Bob's Boyfriend

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Sep 12, 2004, 11:11:29 PM9/12/04
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In article <4f2532f6.04091...@posting.google.com>,
drr0...@yahoo.com (Bodhisattvacat) wrote:

My chances at a long term relationship are greater if I become an
alcoholic first?!?

David

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Sep 13, 2004, 12:18:38 AM9/13/04
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On Mon, 13 Sep 2004, Bob's Boyfriend wrote:
> drr0...@yahoo.com (Bodhisattvacat) wrote:

> > On the other hand, relationships that start in AA are some of the best

> > I have seen. There, the man and the woman have shared past [...]

> My chances at a long term relationship are greater if I become an
> alcoholic first?!?

As Saul of Tarsus said, "Be not unequally yoked to an unbeliever."
Ilya's got a point: if you're both deeply involved some cult like
Alcoholics Anonymous or $cientology or the Lutheran Church then you
have a common frame of reference and a stronger (because "three-way")
bond. Then you can be "on the same page", *and* focused on something
besides whether your "partner" is "meeting your needs" or is "hip
enough for your friends" or whatever. You're both "serving the Lord",
"working the Program", "vanguarding the Proletariat" or whatever,
as a mutual enterprise -- that you do with a larger group that you
have both decided is more important than your "relationship".

So which particular cult you join is irrelevant for this purpose:
all you need is one that tells its members what to think and how
to live, and that expects devotion strong enough to occupy a good
deal of time and energy. (Why else is marriage a religious rite?)

Note that it's also easy to cruise such a group and "talk the talk"
just long enough to worm your way into a vulnerable person's heart,
purse and/or groin. (One alt.angst regular specializes in it.) But
such hypocritical predation is probably not Ilya's motive -- he's
a bit too wacked out these days to be much of a snake.

See?

Bob's Boyfriend

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Sep 13, 2004, 1:41:49 AM9/13/04
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In article <Pine.LNX.4.58.04...@troll.weezl.org>,
David <thed...@shell.rawbw.com> wrote:

No, but an interesting treatment of the subject of relationships.

Emperor Norton Gojira IV/I

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Sep 13, 2004, 9:19:57 AM9/13/04
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On Mon, 13 Sep 2004 00:18:38 -0400, in message <<Pine.LNX.4.58.04...@troll.weezl.org>>, David <thed...@shell.rawbw.com> spleniated...

>Note that it's also easy to cruise such a group and "talk the talk"
>just long enough to worm your way into a vulnerable person's heart,
>purse and/or groin. (One alt.angst regular specializes in it.)

Is that what Craig has been up to?

ash
['Is this one of those negative attracto-reverso ray things?']


--
"We shoulda drank th' cognac an' walked to git gas."
_________________________________________________________________
Give me Liberty or give me a nice house in France from whence I
can hunt some Liberty down. Or you can eat lead. Get off my wave.
Two|Riven against a Black Sun|six|...that which we are we are|One

Cujo DeSockpuppet

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Sep 13, 2004, 8:09:08 PM9/13/04
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"block" <no.b...@REMOVEntlworld.com> wrote in
news:%y01d.1297$bW2....@newsfe1-gui.ntli.net:

Methinks Mr. Hand-to-Gland-Combat hace been to a couple of AA meetings too
many. The way he seriously refers to anyone drinking at a bar as a "drunk"
is the tipoff. That's typical AA brainwashing.

It's also possible to sit at a bar and chat with ladies and friends while
drinking iced tea. I do it all the time. Just because Ilya has nothing in
common with sane, law-abiding citizens doesn't mean that everyone else
does.

Ilya makes the mistake of thinking that because he hangs around people who
parrot the same mantra that they have something in common other than being
incapable of independent thought.

No wonder he bragged about all the people who liked him while in the
slammer, they're all losers who got caught doing something stupid. Some of
them just happened to be bigger losers than him, that's all.

Cujo DeSockpuppet

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Sep 13, 2004, 7:54:51 PM9/13/04
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drr0...@yahoo.com (Bodhisattvacat) wrote in
news:4f2532f6.04091...@posting.google.com:

> People knock workplace romances.

I'm sure that it's perfectly OK if you call the county jail a "workplace",
convict.

That said, I hope you get a softer pillow to bite the next time, pervert.

Cujo DeSockpuppet

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Sep 13, 2004, 8:10:20 PM9/13/04
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"Brainbane" <l...@lum.edu> wrote in news:5uedndL_4fQ...@comcast.com:

>
> "David" <thed...@shell.rawbw.com> wrote in message
> news:Pine.LNX.4.58.04...@troll.weezl.org...
>>
>> Ilya "Bodhisattvacat" Shambat wrote:
>>
>>> People knock workplace romances.
>>
>> We also knock grown men who live with their mommies. Like you.
>>
>
> Men who live with their mommies tend to eat well.

They should, they still have the umbilical to feed from.

Cujo DeSockpuppet

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Sep 13, 2004, 8:39:11 PM9/13/04
to

> People knock workplace romances. But I think that work is one of the


> better places to meet people. You have one important thing in common -
> your work interests. For many people, that is a very important part of
> their lives. Whereas, if you meet someone in a bar, the only thing you
> have in common is that you are drunks. I certainly think that common
> work interests is a more solid place on which to build a relationship
> than drugs or alcohol.
>
> The latter most often turn out to be disasters. What attracted the two
> people to each other - their wild side and sex appeal - becomes a
> liability in a long-term relationship, as the two parties try to work
> out how to live together and raise children. More often than not, the
> man becomes paranoid, jealous, and tries to destroy the very qualities
> in the woman that had attracted him to her, while the woman tries to
> tame the man - something the man experiences as oppressive. This is a
> recipe for mutual annihilation.
>
> On the other hand, relationships that start in AA are some of the best
> I have seen.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!1!!!!

Ilya's there to do some 13th stepping and score with chicks! (see links
below)

What a fucking scumbag!

It's a hangout for predators, control freaks, losers and sheep[1].
There's no accounting and it's the closest thing to being a priest and
preying on young children in their congregation!

Hey DUMBFUCK! Get a load of some of this stuff:

http://www.orange-papers.org
http://www.aadeprogramming.com

The way is not the way, grasshopper.

> There, the man and the woman have shared past, shared
> desire to stay sober, and most importantly of all shared AA vision: To
> help other people get sober.

That place isn't about sobriety, it's some goofy drunk who was at the end
of his rope getting thrown into a booby hatch, fed a cocktail of
hallucinogens by a quack and seeing a "divine vision" in his mind that he
turned into a scam and a religious cult. I had a sneaking suspicion you
were part of that cult in my earlier post, pity I didn't read further and
know it for sure.

> These relationships center around their
> altruistic mission and shared desire for sobriety.

Bullshit. But I wouldn't let a little bit of facts get in the way of
another one of your delusional rants. Keep going, st00pid.

Here's one for you to digest: their own studies indicated that their
program is actually worse than just stopping on your own. That's why they
don't do those studies anymore and release them to the public.

> They keep each
> other sober, while they carry on their missionary work.

It's more commonly known as "recruiting for a cult" in the real world.

> These
> relationships build mutual respect and mutual appreciation, and the
> love grows as an outcome of helping each other and helping other
> people.

See above, dipshit. It's a weird backspin on Xtianity. Wise up, dumbass.

It figures you'd be attracted to a place where the main criteria for
acceptance is how well you can spout the party line. don't forget to tell
the group you won the Unabomber Surprise award and why. After all, it's
all about "rigorous honesty", isn't it?

Loser.

[1] Do note the 4 categories are a subset of that cult and each
"category" isn't mutually exclusive.

bob

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Sep 14, 2004, 8:52:18 PM9/14/04
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"block" <no.b...@REMOVEntlworld.com> wrote:

Especially when you order O'Douls, my carbonated beverage of choice
these days (though I do run Heineken through my system now and then).

bob
- I'm living dangerously - I had a cookiie tonight.

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