upsetting the girl I love
martin.sharp
I have been friends with this lady at work now for about five months and
very recently, we declared our feelings for each other and ended up kissing
and cuddling. She is currently involved in another relationship but it does
not seem a happy one as the other half is violent.
She told me the following day that, she was going to leave him for me and
that she wanted to start a relationship with me, I was very happy as I
always wanted her.
We went out a few days later, but her other half's step daughter saw us
together and informed him, she confessed all to him and told me that she
would have to curb things for a while. She said she could not afford to
leave him. I offered her all the support she could need but she was too
proud to accept any.
Later that day, she phoned me to say there was never a chance of a
relationship with me and we would only be friends, she said she was leaving
her job and I wouldn't have to worry about bumping into her anywhere.
I was very upset and must admit quite angry as it seemed she had gone back
on what she originally had said, Out of spite, I told a few of my colleagues
about the relationship as I was so hurt.
Rumour has gone around where I work and this girl is now furious with me for
saying anything, she told one of my colleagues she had no intention of
leaving the company at all and she told me that when we bumped into each
other at work it would just be a question of hello, Martin and hello, Kim.
After she said this, She told one of our mutual friends, that she did really
like me a lot but said she was uncomfortable with the thought of me being
nearly ten years younger than her as she was used to being with older men
and was worried I could ditch her if a younger lady come along.
The fact is I really do love her and would do anything to be with her and to
put things right. I have been so upset the last couple of days, I did wrong
telling other people but I have text her to apologise, I can't phone as her
other half may answer and she is on annual leave from work at the moment.
Could you please give me some helpful advice as its beginning to affect my
work as well. Thank you!
ChamDeja
Be a man. You should leave the job. Just go find a new one.
Then ask yourself was the pat on the back ya got from 'the boys' worth
it? Oh, btw, she probably wasn't really worried about you finding a
younger woman, nor about your age. Bet money she had some concerns
about your maturity. She's dealing with a grown-up situation (an
abusive S.O.), yet when she tells you she can't be with you right now,
your reaction is to spread gossip about her with the boys at the
office? More abuse. Something does not compute here!
Sounds like you blew it. OTOH, maybe she's indirectly not bringing
you into something you can't handle. Maybe you should be thanking
her.
bh
> Could you please give me some helpful advice as its beginning to affect my
> work as well. Thank you!
NEVER DIP YOUR PEN in COMPANY ink.....It got me fired and ruined
my career.Be sure that it will probably cost you your job also...and hers...
Been there, done that, got the antidepressants and unemployment cheques
to prove it
>
>
>
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jbu...@shaw.ca
"bh" <bho...@msuspartans.com> wrote in message
news:VeeG7.16229$bf1.2...@news20.bellglobal.com...
I'll second that.....didn't happen to me but it did to my ex and his
girlfriend once they started living together. I didn't have to lift a
finger, just enjoy the fallout.
Neil
>
> I have been friends with this lady at work now for about five months and
> very recently, we declared our feelings for each other and ended up kissing
> and cuddling.
(snip)
> Later that day, she phoned me to say there was never a chance of a
> relationship with me
As you may agree, you should have accepted the above and not told your
coworkers. It's none of their business. Telling other people was
immature of you and possibly underscored the age difference for her.
If you're going to date a coworker, keep it to yourself and the woman
you date, unless you both agree you want coworkers to know.
(snip)
> The fact is I really do love her and would do anything to be with her and to
> put things right. I have been so upset the last couple of days, I did wrong
> telling other people but I have text her to apologise, I can't phone as her
> other half may answer and she is on annual leave from work at the moment.
> Could you please give me some helpful advice as its beginning to affect my
> work as well. Thank you!
It looks to me that she's chosen to be with the other guy, not you,
and you may need to accept that, whether you like it or not. But if
you want to give it her more try, call her and tell her what you said
above. Don't worry about who picks up the phone, just call her and
tell her what you said in the above paragraph. Or just wait until she
comes back to work, then talk to her. Being apart for awhile might
give both of you the time to think the situation over.
Only you two can work this out, so you'll have to talk to her. In
person is the best way to communicate, followed by phone. Maybe you
could call her and set up a time to meet for coffee or lunch, where
you could both talk and sort things out.