Q: Romantic Suggestions
Diana
I will be a newlywed in a matter of weeks and am interested in
learning what this group might suggest for keeping the home
fires burning.
I am interested in what you would think is romantic.
Not the typical wine and roses stuff, but unique ideas.
I am sure all you dudes out there are capable of more than just
sexual suggestions, I am talking about truly romantic gestures,
what would you men appreciate your woman doing for you,
what would you enjoy doing together from time to time.
For my romeo I like to let him know at least once a day that
he is the most important person in my life, sometimes that
means just stopping what I am doing and listening intently.
All ideas welcome. Thx.
D.
Eric Chen
> Hi,
>
> I will be a newlywed in a matter of weeks
Congratulations. Ah yes. Another alt.romance success story.
and am interested in
> learning what this group might suggest for keeping the home
> fires burning.
>
> I am interested in what you would think is romantic.
>
> Not the typical wine and roses stuff, but unique ideas.
Well, your 'typical' romantic gestures are pretty good - tried and true
stuff, but you're right, diversity and variety are always appreciated.
Just don't throw out the traditional romantic ideas. It never hurts to
have more weapons in the arsenal.
>
> I am sure all you dudes out there are capable of more than just
> sexual suggestions, I am talking about truly romantic gestures,
> what would you men appreciate your woman doing for you,
> what would you enjoy doing together from time to time.
Blow jobs are nice. Hm, but you want more than sexual suggestions.
>
> For my romeo I like to let him know at least once a day that
> he is the most important person in my life, sometimes that
> means just stopping what I am doing and listening intently.
>
> All ideas welcome. Thx.
>
> D.
>
Here are some ideas.
Spontaneous hugs - In an otherwise mundane moment, just hug him deeply and
say "I love you so much." or something else appropriately affectionate.
(It may lead to sex, but I think of it as a gesture of love, not a sexual
invitation.)
Let him use the TV remote control - I don't know if that's romantic or
not, but I'm very possessive with the remote.
Use one of his comfortable shirts as a night shirt - Most guys I know get
a huge kick out of that.
Show that you're happy to be with him - I know it's obvious, but guys want
the women they love to be happy, especially happy with them. With little
gestures, body language, facial expressions, loving looks, tell him that
you'd rather be with him and you're happier with him than any other person
in the world.
Give him the space he needs - That varies with each individual. I suppose
that's just one part of being attentive to his needs over-all.
Being 19, never married, and not particularly imaginative, I'm all out of
ideas. Good luck.
Eric Chen
Karaky
I read lately that phone sex with your mate keeps spice in the marriage.
That is only with your mate. It keeps things alive when there appears to
be no time because of work or maybe the kids.
Vondora Karaky
Kar...@Aol.com
April 25, 1996
2:56 pm
Filip M Gieszczykiewicz
In Article '<960425112...@news.nbnet.nb.ca>', through puissant locution, 'lit...@nbnet.nb.ca' soliloquized:
>I will be a newlywed in a matter of weeks and am interested in
>learning what this group might suggest for keeping the home
>fires burning.
Greetings. Not up on my WWW site yet, but here's the current working
version. I know, needs new material :-) Still, it's a start. BTW,
I hope the first part of "lit...@nbnet.nb.ca" doesn't imply anything ;-)
(see "P.S." for related joke ;-)
-----------------chop-with-axe----------------chop-with-axe---------------------
Fil's Romantic Ideas
Contents:
* Chapter 1) Hints from the author
* Chapter 2) Romantic Idea List
[Document Version: 2.00] [Last Updated: 4/16/96]
_________________________________________________________________
Chapter 1) Hints from the author
Romance comes from the heart. Everyone is capable of giving and taking
it. Romance is almost always hard work.. You may not realize this when
you are infatuated with someone.. but, as most married people will
tell you, it becomes less spontaneous as the relationship matures.
So, while in the beginning you may have bought a bunch of roses and
gave them to her "Just Because", after several years of marriage, a
few kids, a tough job, and being stuck in the 'rat race'... giving
that same bunch of roses to your wife takes real effort.
Remembering that romance really is a special part of a relationship
and that it tends to be forgotten is the first step in re-kindling the
flame. It's not that you don't know how to be romantic, it's that you
have forgotten how/what to do it!
The third step is, if you are going to take any of these suggestions
and do them in real life, [all I ask is] that you do them from the
heart. In other words, don't just read off a selection and blindly do
whatever it says. You should pick the one that you can honestly say
you were just 'reminded' of. If you do not, it's going to sound much
like reading her poetry that someone else wrote and pretending you
did.
I hope you know what I mean. BTW, if you are having relationship
problems, a good place to get some insight is from the newsgroup:
alt.romance. Give it a few days.. some days the ignorant shumcks
almost mask out the romantics. I also suggest that you read it with a
threaded newsreader (to further pick out what really deals with
romance from the background noise)
Take care.
P.S. Ok, so somewhere, deep in my mind, I somehow feel ashamed or
ticked off when my friends read this list (and tell me about it
later). I don't know why. I feel silly, VERY silly. I may fake it that
it doesn't bother me, but I feel VERY silly. Just so you know,
R&T,R,A&L :-) Caring less and less about this recently...
_________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2) Romantic Idea List
1. Rent a video on ballroom dancing (say, Tango) and LEARN!
2. Cook dinner, pick her up, have dinner, drop her back off
3. Send some cards to far away place (where you have friends) and
have them mail those cards to her. Send a bunch and ask to drop
off every few days. It's fun :-)
4. Request favorite song on radio and find excuse to listen to radio
at just that particular time for no reason at all.
5. Invite her and read her some poetry or a story. Volunteer to drop
by and read her some bed-time stories, and leave.
6. Give a back-rub - minimum 15 minutes! Read the FAQ for the group:
alt.backrubs
7. Shop around for a shop that allows you to submit the lines for
fortune cookies. If you're short, "You will meet a short dark
stranger and fall madly in love", etc. If you're so inclined and
able, make them yourself. Use recycled paper for that extra 90's
touch :-)
8. Get her a bowl/bag of her favorite candy/cookies. Make no remarks
or further comments or offers to go jogging with her!
9. Get a bag of "Kisses" (chocolate candy) and package it in a
hand-made shape/package - include a card along the lines, "one
kiss = 10 real ones (more than 5 seconds each)"
10. Get a erasable marker (like those used on white boards) and write
something inspiring on your bumper/windows/door/etc. However, if
the surface is scratched already, be VERY CAREFUL when you do
this.
11. Buy a few rolls of film and proceed to "learn" how to take
portraits ... later, decide which ones are special and blow them
up to poster size.
12. Buy tickets to the opera or concert hall and dress up like snobs
and have a grand ball. Of course, go only if there is a remote
chance you will actually enjoy it - not just go there to make fun
of poeple.
13. Rent her favorite comedy movie or standup comedian and have some
laughs
14. Instead of going to that restaurant for umphteenth time, go
instead to the local comedy joint. Vow to laugh even if the
standups aren't all the funny and no one else is laughing. Have
fun.
15. Ask her to go sock-shopping with you. Next week, ask her to go
tie-shopping, next week ask her to go underwear-shopping, next
week ask her to go scarf-shopping, next week...... Hey, not all of
us are born with color-coordination... "Blue socks with Red pants?
Why not?" :-)
16. Visit some local wineryies (sp?) and take a tasting tour... if not
a wine-fan, get a book and read up on the topic. This is safer
than learning to mix drinks, some people (myself included) don't
tolerate alcohol well.
17. Take her to a local museum. Make the tour FUN. Visit all the
exhibits... Maybe visit a modern-art exhibit. Stop by the Exit
door and argue how innovative and spiritually-touching it is.
18. Get a bunch of WILD flowers (not roses) and deliver them. It's a
lot different than just ROSES!
19. Stop by the flower shop now-and-then and get a single flower. Stop
by her place and place that flower in all kinds of odd places:
under the wiper, in the mailbox, in the door, taped to the door,
tied to a string and hanging down from a tree in the yard, (if you
have keys to her residence, get more creative)
20. Leave Post-It notes all over the place. Ok, so these little notes
get old after a while :-) So, now and then, get a large piece of
yellow paper and make a HUGE "PostIt(tm)" note and write something
and put it under the wiper of her car or on her door or, well, be
creative.
21. Take her a local BIG mall and find a perfume/cologne counter. Ask
HER to find you the cologne SHE wants YOU to wear and that she
likes. Just realize that this is going to be fun because YOU also
have to like it... you're the one who will have to wear it!
22. Drive to her residence, bring supplies (buckets of water, soap,
rags, wax) and do the whole deal on her car...
23. Do a good deed and replace the wipers in her car. Replace yours,
too!
24. Call her work after-hours and leave poetry or nice message for
next day - call during lunch, when you know she won't be there,
for those extra tough afternoons... or if you know she had a big
meeting
25. Offer to read (out loud) some book she's currently reading, or
doesn't have time to read.
26. Get the small book, "1001 Romantic things" and follow. There's
another one about kisses. Get that too!
27. Ask her to teach you how SHE wants you to kiss her. Designate at
LEAST 2 hours for this. Come prepared with toothpaste, tooth-
brush, and a set for her. Explicitly say, "PLEASE SHOW ME HOW YOU
WANT ME TO KISS YOU. DEMONSTRATE TO ME. WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME."
28. Leave her a nice and inspiring message on the answering machine
each day so that she hears your voice at the end of a busy day, I
know have-been-married-for-15-years couples that do this to each
other (my parents being one example) - it works!
29. Read rec.humor or rec.humor.funny for a day and tell her a joke or
two. You don't have to be a "joker" or "funny" to try this. People
just like humor. She'll appreciate the effort... if the joke
works. If not, try another one. If not, have flowers handy...
sigh.
30. Go to Radio Shack or other store that stocks magnets and buy
strong one. Then, take a picture of you two or just yourself that
she likes and have it laminated along with a line of text, like,
"I love you" or "you're cool". Next, glue to magnet to the back of
the laminate and put it up on her fridge. Make more than one...
use different materials... convert other magnets.
31. A variation on the above working, if you drive a car... you can go
to a sign shop and purchase strips of flexible, magnetic material.
If you get a strip a long as a laminated photo or sign, you can
attach it to any flat metallic surface - like the car door or side
of a van. If you get a whole sheet of it, it will stand up to
80MPH driving. It's usually white on the outside so you can draw
directly on it with permanent markers (or water-based ones for
that changes-after-each-rainstorm effect :-)
32. Find out which songs she likes the most - you should know this
already - and make her a tape with them... Record yourself
introducing and dedicating each one. Microphones are cheap and
even the dumbest Radio Shack dweeb will help you with the wires.
33. Send her a postcard from the very city she and you live in now and
then. Look for ones that aren't sold in common places. Maybe old
ones... that aren't made anymore. Tell her things that are on your
mind at the time. Some things are easier to "say" on paper and
don't need to be opened to read!
34. If you're in a silly mood, offer to "proof-read your letters/post-
cards to me" ... ;-) or just ask her to "proof-read a very
important letter to a very important person in my life" and give
her a letter you are writing to her
35. Find out what her favorite outdoors place is and get her a big
poster of that place. Panoramic views are hard to beat, even if a
bit more expensive... they're great above the desk or computer to
rest the eyes every few minutes... which is a good thing to
encourage anyways!
36. Get a map of your surrounding area - 200 miles radius - and spend
some time now and then planning trips to them - and then, if the
weather is nice, TAKE THEM! I was surprised just how many
wonderful places were situated within 2 hours of where I live! Do
you have any friends or friends of her's that she hasn't visited
in a while who live within this area?
37. If she has a CD or cassette or video collection and isn't too well
organized, offer to get some labels and spend a bad or sick day
doing them - together. It's fun and brings memories. If you have a
computer, vast array of free programs exist to ease this task...
if she's computer-illiterate, this is a perfect opportunity to
show her. [gee, notice a trend :-]
38. If she doesn't have smoke-detectors, buy a few (can be had for $5
each!!) and install them (correctly - read the included book! -
the mounting locations are non-intuitive) If she does have them...
buy some good alkaline 9V batteries and replace them in all of her
detectors.
39. Get her a fire-extinguisher... preferably one for the hallway and
one for the kitchen. At the bare minimum, she should have one in
the kitchen... bad things happen to good cooks. Be sure to read
the instructions. Did you know you have to "sweep from side to
side?" and be "at least 6 feet from the source of flames" or "call
911 FIRST!"? Oh, does she live in an apartment? On the first
floor? How are the fire-exists? On the second floor? How are the
exists? None? Get her a $40 step ladder that attaches to the
window sill and rolls out the window to the ground. Fires happen
rarely... but I'd personally take a bullet in the head than be
burned... thank you very much. Gross? You bet!
40. If she isn't too well organized or would like to improve, get her
a personal organizer... if she's a techno-phobe, learn how to
operate it in advance, program in your info and then give it to
her for a present with a little "coupon" for "free lessons".
41. Go through her car's owner's manual and note down which services
are due... cars are like relationships - they only work if you
care for them... look at it this way, whatever you save on regular
maintenance, you have for other, more romantic occasions. Don't
forget that the BEST thing you can do for the life of your car is
change the oil every 3,000 miles. Ignore what others say - they
want to sell you a new one in some way.
42. Take a day and go garage-sale shopping. Look for "cute" things and
other things that you and she can modify and improve. Lets see,
maybe get a big, framed painting and paint one together on it, or
pick out some OLD, OLD clothes and have a "good old days" romantic
"event". Hey, might be fun. Besides, makes good Halloween-party
costumes - and real cheap too.
43. Ask her out on a "date" - you know, like that first one - even if
it never happened quite "that way"... This is a great time to dip
into those pickup-lines lines [you found so stupid in the past].
Have fun.
44. If you have to leave the bed early in the morning, leave a note
expressing your feeling for her - put it right on the pillow. Hey,
why not get her some stuffed toy and tie it (the message) on to
it? Look in her pictures from when she was young... see which
characters/animals she liked... if nothing, how can one say "no"
to a plush teddy bear!
45. Using some water-soluble paint or a lipstick - if you don't care
about the sheets and pillow - write "I love you" on your forehead.
("Love Ya" or "I (heart) U" might be better --> bigger letters)
Make sure you write it correctly and not mirrored! Be careful that
she doesn't substitute permanent markers on April 1st :-)
46. Get her chapstick in a rainbow of flavors... the new ones have
sunscreen built in and "taste" great :-)
47. Get her a set of hand-weights to help her build up a bit of arm
strength. Maybe sign up yourselves to a local health club, or get
a treadmill, or a weight set. Helps with general health and
spirit. Even those who don't go for looks alone will appreciate
the effort. And, no, it's not supposed to be easy.
48. A variation to the above, if done frequently enough (making it
somewhat seasonal due to weather), is to take hiking trips. You
need a good backpack (such that the weight is on your hips/legs
and not your shoulders) and hiking shoes. A tent helps, as do
sleeping bags and some other "hiking neccessities" like sleeping
mats, outdoor clothing, camp stove (all drinking water MUST be
boiled), etc. Spend your money wisely and what you purchase will
last you a lifetime.
49. Get a kite and go fly it. If you feel creative, make one yourself
(I did it when I was a small kid, it's really simple. Tons of
books on this topic and all you need is paper, 2 sticks, and some
string) and put on it some "custom" graphics.
50. Does she have a filter on her faucet? Drinking heavy doses of all
100+ elements is highly over-rated :-) Get her a filter that
screws on the faucet... it's only around $30 and filters last for
300 gallons ($8 to replace - very simple). Sure beats buying
bottled water...You can also get one of those jugs that has a
gravity- fed filter in it... about $30 as well and is portable.
51. Ask her out (for a date, like above) in your car... and steam up
the windows. This being the 90', lock the doors and park in a
safe, well-lit spot. Heck, might want to do this in your back yard
:-)
52. Grab a blanket, some fruits, some dinner, some drinks, and ask her
out on a good, old picnic. Just a nice, quiet picnic. Who knows,
maybe it will turn into a perfect picnic... when it starts raining
when you're nice and comfy... you know, Murphy's Laws :-)
53. Get some heavy, white paper, some pens, some ideas, and make her a
bunch of "coupons" for free "services" like: do her laundry, wash
her car, vacuum her carpets, wet-rag-wipe her floors, wash her
kitchen floor, comb her hair, give her a bubble-bath, give her a
1-hour-increment backrubs, 25 free 10-second kisses, take out the
garbage, one-argument-annulment (even if you are right, you admit
you're wrong and apologize if coupon presented ;-), etc. C'mon...
you can think of more topics.
54. Get her a new, light-colored umbrella (white is best but black
works well if you use opaqu white paint - whiteout works in a
pinch) and write some cute and romantic things on it... so that
next time the sky comes down, she just has to look up to be
inspired :-)
55. Get the schedule of classes for a local community college and sit
down and pick out some classes to expand your horizons. Don't
worry, I'm not talking about math or chemistry (yuck! :-). I AM
talking about courses like dancing, computer intro, languages,
writing (good time to pick up letter-writing skills ;-), scuba-
diving, swimming, etc. On the bright side, these usually cost less
than $90 for everything, meet in the evening, expand your mind and
life-outlook, and are a great way to do things together. Down
sides? Well, it takes time out of your schedule and it does take
effort... but you both are worth it, right? I think so.
56. Just before going to sleep, tap her on the shoulder and when she
turns around, tell her you love her, kiss her, and cuddle.
_________________________________________________________________
This article was written by fil...@paranoia.com [Feedback Form]
[mailto]. The most recent version is available on the WWW server
http://www.paranoia.com/~filipg/ [Copyright] [Disclaimer]
-----------------chop-with-axe----------------chop-with-axe---------------------
P.S. A man and a woman have a one-night-stand. The following morning,
the woman says, "If I had known you had such a small organ, I would
have not gone through with this". "Lady, if I had known I would be
playing in a cathedral, I would have too," he replied.
Ta Dum!
--
+-->Filip "I'll buy a vowel" Gieszczykiewicz | E-mail: fil...@paranoia.com
| http://www.paranoia.com/~filipg/ |Sci.Electronics, RC, Misc FAQs + MORE!
| Enjoy your job, work within the law, make lots of money : Choose any two.
| I think for myself. I listen. I make decisions. I speak what I believe.
Laura L. Brandon
Hi Diana.
Congratulations on your soon-to-be wedded bliss! Here's my two
cents worth:
1. Try a romantic evening in the tub. After your hubby comes home from a
long day at work, have a nice bubble bath drawn with candles and
soft music in the background. Both of you get in and let him lean on you
while you sponge warm water over his body. Give him your undivided
attention while he tells you about his day. I don't know if this is a
cliche romantic idea, but it seems to work quite nicely with my boyfriend.
2. Leave little notes in places where he'll find them throughout his day
telling him that you love him and possibly suggesting events for the
evening -hint...... :)
3. If he packs lunches for work, bake heart shape cookies with red sugar
sprinkles and place in his lunch. I haven't tried this yet, but I'm sure
it will work! :>
Sorry I can't think of more at this moment.
What I have learned of romance in the wonderful relationship I have now
is to just make the other person feel special and that you think of them
often and care about them. As long as you both do that, I can't see where
you would go wrong.
Everyone, please post more suggestions!
Diana, best of luck!
Laura
Ed
For me, I find the most romantic things to be the little things in life.
The things most people take for granted everyday. For instance:
She being the first things I see when I wake up and the last thing I see
when I go to sleep.
Cuddling on the couch or bed while watching tv or reading a book together.
Slipping a love note in her purse or lunch bag.
Surprising her at work for lunch.
Taking the day off from work and staying in bed all day with her.
Saying things to her that only I know how to say and see the passions grow
within her.
Kissing her on the neck, ears, or wherever and feel her body go limp
against me.
Listening and talking to her, making her feel better by allowing her to
vent on me. Respecting her decisions and opinions, and giving her my
unconditional support.
Just stare lovingly into her eyes, and know exactly what each other is
thinking.
Holding her hand tightly whenever I get the chance.
Letting her know a minimum once a day that she is the love of my life and
how blessed I am to be with her.
Just being there for her whenever she needs me.
Using all of my senses and being intoxicated by her. Her smell, touch,
sounds, etc...just makes me want to be with her.
To know that she is devoted to me as much as I am devoted to her.
Doing any mundane chore with her like washing dishes or whatever, and
having fun.
Making her laugh and smile as only I know how.
I could probably go on but I think you see the picture. I really value
the small things in life because they are always overlooked. To me, the
small things require more effort than a big gift/activity because it is
so easy to take them for granted. I still like doing something special
for her, but to actually keep the fire burning all the time, I
concentrate on the little things. I know you asked what a lady can do
for a guy that is romantic, but I like to receive what I give too. I
hope this helps.
Ed
Ryoga
Karaky (kar...@aol.com) wrote:
: I read lately that phone sex with your mate keeps spice in the marriage.
: be no time because of work or maybe the kids.
I read that somewhere before also. I also read that basically anything
can re-kindle a romance, but what's important is you never let yourself
nor you're partener "get used" to something. And nothing is EVER boring.
It's all from the same book, can't recall the name though.
Ryoga
--
"The greatness of one's sorrow when parting is evidence of the deepness of
one's love. So, if one fears sadness, one wouldn't be able to love
anyone." - Belldandy Morisato
"Aim for the stars, but don't expect them"
John Bretschneider
Dear soon-to-be-married,
This may sound like risque' stuff, but what about a warm
- loving smile, holding hands, talking to him (about
things other than the mortgage, car payments, his dirty
sox, why he gave that puzzling look when taking a first
bite at dinner).
Whatever you do, wherever you go you should remember
that love isn't about being in a romantic place, but
finding the romance in where you are.
-<>-<>-<>-
What the fool believes he sees
no wise man has the power
to reason away
Doobie Brothers
-<>-<>-<>-
John Bretschneider
P.S. Try sending HIM roses at work.