=======> HOW TO DISTINGUISH A CONSERVATIVE FROM A REAL HUMAN BEING <=======
ChasNemo
<=======
Top ten on what it takes to be a conservative these days....
Since almost no one (with even an ounce of sense) is willing to
identify with the GOP these days, it can be difficult to diagnose
conservatism. Here are some tips to help determine if you are a
conservative:
10) You refused to share your toys in kindergarten, saying it would
put you on a dangerous path to socialism. You believe in your heart of
hearts that you reallly are "better than everyone else."
9) You get angry when there are choices for languages on an automated
call because you still don't have a good grasp on English. You blame
"those epople" for all your problems, real or imagined.
8) You hate those "elite Hollywood liberals" but refuse to cancel your
Netflix account.
7) You go to tea bagger rallies because you have no job thanks to the
recession that "started under Obama." You alsoo believe in your heart
that Bu$h was a genious.
6) You watch Fox News, but unlike most people actually take it
seriously.
5) You become absolutely livid about imaginary tax increases. If you
don't hear about actaull chnages to fiscal policy, you make up
something outrageous and act like ti was foisted on you.
4) You are against wasteful programs like Medicare, but also against
cutting waste from programs like Medicare.
3) You criticize Michael Moore for his weight, without being able to
refute a single claim that he makes in his documentaries.
2) You can enter any collective noun into the following sentence "The
______ are screwing everything up" except for the correct ones.
1) You find yourself saying "no" even to things that you actually
want, like ice cream, and health care. The only thing you can't say
"no" to is rich assholes who demand more and more of America's wealth.