"How To Fuck A Chicken" by Gerry Armstrong
Gerry Armstrong
(sorry fags);it has to be a mature female. Chickens are monotremes,
which means they only have one sewer-pipe down there for your
pleasure. You will want an egg-laying hen because she is accustomed to
opening up that hole every day to squeeze out an egg which is
approximately the same diameter as the average erect penis.
Next, you'll need to secure the chicken's wings and feet. especially
the feet. To do this, take a length of cord (shoe-laces work great)
and tie the wings together at their bases, as tight as you can
possibly get them. Wrap the whole thing in duct tape. Tie the feet
together leaving plenty of extra cord which you use to pull the feet
forward to the head. Then wrap the cords around the base of the neck.
Lastly, wrap the feet thoroughly with duct tape.
This bondage and tapeage is more than just foreplay; it's necessary to
keep your testicles and tender inner thighs from getting ripped to
shreds by the claws on the ends of your date's feet. The tape wrapped
around the wings keeps them from flapping around and beating the hell
out of you, and they make a convenient handle.
At this point it's safe to assume you have a raging hard-on. All you
need now is some lubricunt (she ain't gonna get wet for you). Pour
copious amounts of it onto your pecker, drop some lube into the
chicken's chute, and then push. Keep your grip around the base of the
chicken's neck with one hand, with the other holding onto the tied
together wings.
Optional: You've got to time this just right: when you're "there" and
you're almost ready to shoot, use your non-wings hand to squeeze down
the chicken's neck. Harder! (don't worry, she likes it). As she dies
she'll convulse and undergo muscular spasms, and hopefully you will
too.
There. You've had your fun. Now unceremoniously toss the dead, raped
chicken into the garbage bag. Just be sure not to dump it in your own
trash can.
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© Gerry Armstrong
Skipper
<f64c4041-a39a-4b16...@u16g2000pru.googlegroups.com>,
Gerry Armstrong <gerryar...@hushmail.com> wrote:
Did you audit someone who actually did that with a chicken?
I did? Boy it was hard to keep from cracking up.
Eldon
wrote:
What's with the spate of Hushmail forgery lately? Is it the dying,
convulstive throes of the OSA hate squad?
Android Cat
>
> What's with the spate of Hushmail forgery lately? Is it the dying,
> convulstive throes of the OSA hate squad?
It's kind of like some of the sporgery phases, only one-off rather than mass
produced.
--
Ron of that ilk.
xenufrance
"Tomato Da Vice and Da ViceCabbage wrote"
<tommydavice&davicevi...@hushmail.com> a �crit dans le message de
news: Go buy a chicken. It must be a mature,
------------------------------------------
(c) scam cultists from the scientology crime cult
phil scott
> "Tomato Da Vice and Da ViceCabbage wrote"
> news: Go buy a chicken. It must be a mature,
>
> ------------------------------------------
>
> (c) scam cultists from the scientology crime cult
proof that the cult operatives are at good at something... that was
high level
expertise there. we will have to determine if that was an LRH or Lil
Davie specialty.
kerala...@gmail.com
rogerspo...@gmail.com
> Is a chicken can concieve a humen dick
Why go for the owner of the balls instead of the balls?
Why barbeque chickens on an open fire when it is their cowardice that ought to be barbequed?
