Susan Simel Declaration
wbarwell
SUSAN SIMMEL
167 Pekara Drive
Deerfield, Illinois 60015
August, 1989
I became involved in Scientology in 1978. I was
attracted to the camaraderie, and impressed with the
apparent importance and size of the movement. Like the
promotion had stated, I too envisioned a better world
without crime, insanity, or war. I was hopeful in improving
the state of mankind. I was equally excited by the prospect
of becoming a kind of spiritual super-human with abilities
that mere mortals have only dreamed about. I was promised
that Scientology and its technology had all the answers, and
was the only way to achieve total freedom; LRH had mapped
the only route. This was all possible because of the genius
of LRH; the tech was his great sacrifice and gift to man.
I was urged to join staff, and did so, because staff
members were doing a great service and would also get their
services for free. I lasted only 3 months because I could
not afford the job. I was quick to discover that staff
members were not getting their "free" services. Leaving
staff was frowned upon by the group.
By this time I had dropped all my former (ordinary)
friends, proceeded to alienate my family, looked at all
non-Scientologists as I was told to--like stupid, unaware,
dramatizing degenerates--and looked at the world through the
veil of Scientology.
My new husband and myself moved to L.A. so that he
could become a professional auditor which was a much-needed
and greatly appreciated job that was looked upon very highly
by LRH. An auditor, it was said, would make a lot of money.
I thought I had married a guy that was going to be
incredibly respected in society, and very well paid in his
profession. I worked, and he studied. I was offered a job
by the Guardian's Office as a receptionist-plant in an
office in San Francisco where I would keep my ears open and
relay information back to the Church. As a newlywed, I
turned the job down.
We lived for the next seven years in my in-law's
basement. We did so because the rapidly rising costs of
Scientology services made it impossible to move out. There
was a lot of pressure to not spend ANY money on anything
except Scientology. My husband's prestigious position as an
auditor proved implausible. Any prospects he had were
swiftly swayed to receive services elsewhere, like at an
Org, and the Church's policy of "field auditing" was
changing, making it difficult to work as an auditor. We
eventually gave up on the idea of earning a living this way.
Our daughter was born, and I was pressured to obey
LRH's preference of no breastfeeding of babies. I went so
far as to write him personally and querry his position, but
he reiterated his preference. Our daughter's front baby
teeth were destroyed by LRH's baby formula which required
barley water, milk, and corn syrup.
There was a fast and furious rumor line in the Chicago
area around that period of time. There were cliques,
intense competition between people and their positions in
Scientology, and competition between the Mission and the
Church. Everyone knew everyone else's business. Amid this
atmosphere, I made a grave mistake. In my desire to "keep
Scientology working", I wrote-up a local opinion leader due
to my doubts about his credibility. Trouble began, people
quit talking to me, my husband was forced to leave his
business, and the group tried to convince him that I was
suppressive. I was publicly humiliated by being forced to
answer to their contrived inquisition. My reputation was
slow to recover, and was really never the same. I had never
known upset greater that at that time. I had never been
treated so coldly or judged so harshly. I had entrusted my
life, my entire identity to this religious group, yet I was
accumulating more grief, loneliness and despair than
compassion and/or spiritual awareness. The Church had
repeatedly promised to straighten out this mess. I would
tell of my plight over and over again to any staff that came
into Chicago from any part of the country. This was always
humiliating and uncomfortable. Always they would promise to
help but under the condition that I buy services. I was
talked into flying to the Washington Org out of desperation;
they would help me if I bought $21,000 of services. I
considered a second mortgage. There was heavy pressure to
do this, and I received phone calls from L.A. and Florida
well into many nights. When I finally said No, there was
great, harsh criticism and make-wrong. I was again
ostracized from the group.
A very highly positioned staff member threatened me
with expulsion because I was upsetting the Scientology
field. He swore at me, screamed at me, called me names, and
I was not allowed to leave the ORG until I passed an "end
rudes check" proving that I had or had not lied. All of
this degradation and humiliation was because I had reported
on a well-paying member. This treatment was confusing as I
was only obeying LRH and his rules. I spent many sleepless
nights, and experienced great upset.
Meanwhile, the prices of SCN had skyrocketed putting
the cost of our services well in excess of $100,000 each; an
unattainable goal. We knew we could never afford this as
those prices increased each month. We complained that the
prices were too high, and thus called into the Org for a
"roll-back" which was designed to trace down rumors. Not
being able to afford our freedom basically meant that we
were unable, no good, and would never amount to anything.
This was a devastating realization. I began to think the
SCN was not for the good of mankind as the average person's
income was even less than mine. People could not have
spiritual freedom if they did not have a bottomless
checkbook. This all made no sense.
Negative stories were surfacing about Scientology.
The Church had reorganized, people were thrown out, and the
prices were ridiculous. I felt that there was nowhere to
turn. I could never be "free", but was told that if I
didn't proceed up the Bridge I was doomed, and life would be
horrible. I was an emotional wreck, my husband was an
unemployed, emotional wreck, there was no future, and life
was no fun at all. The thought of leaving the Church and
becoming an ordinary person was sickening and unthinkable.
I felt like a misfit though; I didn't fit into
Scientology's mold, and didn't fit into society anymore
either. I wanted to leave it all behind me but was
constantly reminded that the only way to make it in life was
through Scientology. It was a never ending delemma, a
brainwashing. As I distanced myself, I became more able to
question the things that didn't make sense. Where was the
comfort I had sought through my religion? How could a
religion cause me so much grief and desperation? Yet, I
could not lift that Scientology veil and see the world
clearly. I could not because I had been told repeatedly by
LRH that there was an advanced level beyond my ability to
recognize, 0T 3, and I thought that this might be the reason
for my disaffection. I felt that once I knew this level I
would be able to leave the Church, that is, if I lived
through it, because I was not properly prepared. When I
read the secret story of 0T 3 and did not die, as I had been
told, I was on the long road to recovery. I have since read
the story of the advanced level OT 8, and did not
subsequently spontaneously combust either.
I have spent countless hours analyzing the effects of
Scientology and the stories of LRH. My experience with the
Church shows the malevolent side of the group. My
benevolence was exploited. I am concerned with the
repercussions of exposing myself, because I know the Church
is a powerful and wealthy organization, but the truth must
be made known.
---
--
It's all coming down! It's all coming down!
IT'S ALL COMING DOWN!
- Texas Chainsaw Massacre II
Cheerful Charlie
Rev. David Rice, Esq.
<wbar...@mylinuxisp.com> wrote:
> ** AFFIDAVIT **
> SUSAN SIMMEL
Thank you for posting this (and the others).
(Cut)
> We lived for the next seven years in my in-law's
> basement. We did so because the rapidly rising costs of
> Scientology services made it impossible to move out. There
> was a lot of pressure to not spend ANY money on anything
> except Scientology.
Golly, a "religion" with a price list.
---
http://lastliberal.org / I support privatization of religion.
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