It's official. Now I hate "South Park".

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James Kibo Parry

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Jan 3, 2003, 3:30:42 AM1/3/03
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Remember a few years ago, when "South Park" premiered, and I almost fell
off the floor because they kept making fun of the "Mr. High Hat" puppet
that I have hated, hated, HATED for the past thirty years? And how nobody
ever believes me that I actually had a teacher with THAT F'ING PUPPET?

Well, now I must say this: DAMN YOU, "SOUTH PARK"! YOUR OPEN MOCKERY
OF THAT EVIL PUPPET HAS GIVEN THEM THE IDEA TO START SELLING IT AGAIN
TO PURGE THE JOY FROM A NEW GENERATION OF CHILDREN!

For only sixteen dollars, you can now buy your very own Mr. High Hat
and use it to give well-adjusted children special "therapy" that will
warp them for life. Look, an actual picture of Mr. High Hat:

http://www.agsnet.com/Group.asp?nGroupInfoID=highhat

I last saw him in about 1977, so I can't vouch for that being exactly
the same design as the original Mr. High Hat that tormented me, but
I do see that not only have they revived Mr. High Hat, but they've also
started selling the matching rubber stamps again. The ones where when
you try your best, the teacher mashes one into the back of your hand and
the purple ink won't wash off before the other kids see it and beat
you up for bearing The Purple Stigmata Of Mr. High Hat.

I suppose the puppet himself isn't necessarily evil. But the teacher
I had was, especially when he was making Mr. High Hat talk to me.

If I had a time machine, I'd definitely have a difficult time choosing
between using it to end all wars, and just using it to assassinate
Mr. High Hat in 1973. THAT HAT BASTARD!!!

-- K.

Incidentally, the teacher in question
liked to tell war stories involving
pulling people's ears off.

And how many of YOU had a teacher who
taught such important lessons about
dismemberment fantasies?

The Matt

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Jan 3, 2003, 10:27:49 AM1/3/03
to
When James "Kibo" Parry came down from on high on Fri, 03 Jan 2003

08:30:42 +0000, it was said:

> Remember a few years ago, when "South Park" premiered, and I almost fell
> off the floor because they kept making fun of the "Mr. High Hat" puppet
> that I have hated, hated, HATED for the past thirty years? And how
> nobody ever believes me that I actually had a teacher with THAT F'ING
> PUPPET?
>
> Well, now I must say this: DAMN YOU, "SOUTH PARK"! YOUR OPEN MOCKERY
> OF THAT EVIL PUPPET HAS GIVEN THEM THE IDEA TO START SELLING IT AGAIN TO
> PURGE THE JOY FROM A NEW GENERATION OF CHILDREN!
>
> For only sixteen dollars, you can now buy your very own Mr. High Hat and
> use it to give well-adjusted children special "therapy" that will warp
> them for life. Look, an actual picture of Mr. High Hat:
>
> http://www.agsnet.com/Group.asp?nGroupInfoID=highhat
>

OK, so is he supposed to be Bert in a mustache or Orko's color-blind
cousin?

--
I am a theoretical chemist. Fear me! Please.
The Matt -- http://ucsub.colorado.edu/~thompsma/

Darla Vladschyk

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Jan 3, 2003, 10:29:58 AM1/3/03
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ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:

>... And how nobody


>ever believes me that I actually had a teacher with THAT F'ING PUPPET?

>I suppose the puppet himself isn't necessarily evil. But the teacher


>I had was, especially when he was making Mr. High Hat talk to me.

> And how many of YOU had a teacher who


> taught such important lessons about
> dismemberment fantasies?


You poor kid! No wonder... well.

You just go ahead and sit there on the lawn, sonny.

-=Darla=-
_________________________________________________
"Any time you think you might be eating poo, stop."
---Ifaz, rec.food.cooking
_________________________________________________
http://www.yougotta.com/Darla
_________________________________________________

phy

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Jan 3, 2003, 1:11:27 PM1/3/03
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ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in
news:kibo-03010...@ppp0c050.std.com:


>
> And how many of YOU had a teacher
> who taught such important lessons
> about dismemberment fantasies?
>


I had a teacher in high school who screwed us out of our feild trip, so
instead he brought in some slides of some pictures he took when he was a
helicopter pilot in The War Against Viet Nam and Sanity. One slide was a
chixor who was carrying around her blue decomposing baby and another one
was one of his comrades who got minced up by the blades of a crashed
helicopter. Is that the kind of teacher you had in mind?

-phy

Jeremy Impson

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Jan 3, 2003, 5:11:23 PM1/3/03
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On Fri, 3 Jan 2003, phy wrote:

> I had a teacher in high school who screwed us out of our feild trip, so
> instead he brought in some slides of some pictures he took when he was a
> helicopter pilot in The War Against Viet Nam and Sanity. One slide was a
> chixor who was carrying around her blue decomposing baby and another one

WAS SHE HOT?

--Jeremy

--

Jeremy Impson
jdim...@acm.org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson


Kevin S. Wilson

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Jan 3, 2003, 5:45:29 PM1/3/03
to
On Fri, 03 Jan 2003 22:11:23 GMT, Jeremy Impson <jdim...@acm.org>
wrote:

>On Fri, 3 Jan 2003, phy wrote:
>
>> I had a teacher in high school who screwed us out of our feild trip, so
>> instead he brought in some slides of some pictures he took when he was a
>> helicopter pilot in The War Against Viet Nam and Sanity. One slide was a
>> chixor who was carrying around her blue decomposing baby and another one
>
>WAS SHE HOT?
>

Umm! Jeremy's going to Hell!

--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho
"You can safely ignore Kevin in order to
maximise life's experience." --A. Loon, in alt.religion.kibology

Ryan W. Mead

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Jan 3, 2003, 6:01:27 PM1/3/03
to
Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba*, I remember High Hat. (There was no
"Mr." in his name.) I never saw him in puppet form, but in
illustrations in books. His purpose was (and appears to still be) to
teach phonics. I remember a story about him emphasizing the "R" sound
in which he helped a rabbit with red stripes lose the stripes and
become a regular rabbit.

*Phonetic spelling of Kaga's introduction on Iron Chef, translated as
"If memory serves me right."

Whose TITAN Elbow

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Jan 3, 2003, 9:32:42 PM1/3/03
to
ryanme...@yahoo.com (Ryan W. Mead)schreef in
berichtnieuws...news:b37e63a7.03010...@posting.google.com:

> Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba

You should say "WARE" in a very gruff voice instead of "watashi" hth.

--
``Although xylitol has a relatively long organic chemical history, the
first half of this century was rather eventless from xylitol's point of
view...'' -- Professor Kauko K. Mäkinen

Whose TITAN Elbow

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Jan 3, 2003, 9:31:30 PM1/3/03
to
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)schreef in
berichtnieuws...news:kibo-03010...@ppp0c050.std.com:

> And how nobody
> ever believes me that I actually had a teacher with THAT F'ING PUPPET?
>
>

Did you also have talking poop in your school? That's why I don't watch
South Park.
[page-view]
Actually, it looks like Mr. High Hat answers my question. No wonder all the
children turn to drugs and violence.

Beable van Polasm

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Jan 3, 2003, 10:33:01 PM1/3/03
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Whose TITAN Elbow <crgre02...@newsguy.com> writes:
>
> ryanme...@yahoo.com (Ryan W. Mead)schreef in
> berichtnieuws...news:b37e63a7.03010...@posting.google.com:
>
> > Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba
>
> You should say "WARE" in a very gruff voice instead of "watashi" hth.

BOKU! Chigaimasu, ORE!

ORE HA YABANJIN DESU!

--
cheers
Beable van Polasm
Perl 6 will give you the big knob. -- Larry Wall
http://beable.com

Mark Hill

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Jan 4, 2003, 12:33:03 AM1/4/03
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Whose TITAN Elbow wrote:
> ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)schreef in
> berichtnieuws...news:kibo-03010...@ppp0c050.std.com:
>
>
>>And how nobody
>>ever believes me that I actually had a teacher with THAT F'ING PUPPET?
>>
>>
>
> Did you also have talking poop in your school? That's why I don't watch
> South Park.
> [page-view]
> Actually, it looks like Mr. High Hat answers my question. No wonder all the
> children turn to drugs and violence.

waaah. I never had Mr High Hat.


Theresa Willis

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Jan 4, 2003, 8:26:35 AM1/4/03
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Ewwwww. Mark wants to "have" Mr. High Hat.

--%

phy

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Jan 4, 2003, 10:01:20 AM1/4/03
to
Jeremy Impson <jdim...@acm.org> wrote in
news:Pine.LNX.4.44.030103...@monster.apt.net:

> On Fri, 3 Jan 2003, phy wrote:
>
>> I had a teacher in high school who screwed us out of our feild trip,
>> so instead he brought in some slides of some pictures he took when he
>> was a helicopter pilot in The War Against Viet Nam and Sanity. One
>> slide was a chixor who was carrying around her blue decomposing baby
>> and another one
>
> WAS SHE HOT?
>
> --Jeremy
>

I am not sure but I believe the decaying process does creat heat. I will
ask the teacher if he remembers where she was finally buried if this kind
of thing turns you on.

-phy

Ted Frank

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Jan 4, 2003, 10:28:22 AM1/4/03
to
In article <b37e63a7.03010...@posting.google.com>,

Ryan W. Mead <ryanme...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba*, I remember High Hat. (There was no
>"Mr." in his name.) I never saw him in puppet form, but in
>illustrations in books. His purpose was (and appears to still be) to
>teach phonics. I remember a story about him emphasizing the "R" sound
>in which he helped a rabbit with red stripes lose the stripes and
>become a regular rabbit.

I had a rabbi with red stripes once.

According to groups.google.com, Kibo has not made a post about Lardo-brand
candy since January 24, 2002. The fourth anniversary of the original
ark reference to Lardo will be on February 8, 2003. Please light a
candle.

Mark Hill

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Jan 5, 2003, 2:11:32 AM1/5/03
to

that's Mr. "High" "Hat" to you. Itkwim.

So wait a minute, wait a minute. Am I to interpret your message as
implying that Kibo HAS "had" Mr. High Hat??? HMMMM??

Theresa Willis

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Jan 6, 2003, 6:00:11 PM1/6/03
to

Wasn't it Heinlein who said that gods make up their own rules when it
comes to sex?

James Kibo Parry

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Jan 7, 2003, 10:04:33 PM1/7/03
to
Ryan W. Mead (ryanme...@yahoo.com) wrote:
>
> Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba*, I remember High Hat. (There was no
> "Mr." in his name.)

There was if you knew the same creepy teacher/therapist/asshole I did.

> I never saw him in puppet form, but in illustrations in books.
> His purpose was (and appears to still be) to teach phonics.

Again, that's for NORMAL teachers.

> I remember a story about him emphasizing the "R" sound in which he
> helped a rabbit with red stripes lose the stripes and become a
> regular rabbit.

So you're saying he taught conformity, plus a tiny amount of phonics?



> *Phonetic spelling of Kaga's introduction on Iron Chef, translated as
> "If memory serves me right."

Why don't they just skip all the chef stuff and let the memory serve
the pickled squid? And when are they going to show the episode with
Pink Lady Without Jeff?

And yes, I have the entire run of "Pink Lady & Jeff" on DVD. My favorite's
the one where they're actually allowed to sing a song in Japanese, because
it has Robbie The Robot.

-- K.

Bob Kinoshita is my hero!

James Kibo Parry

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Jan 7, 2003, 10:16:54 PM1/7/03
to
[regarding Mr. High Hat, educational hand-puppet]

Ted Frank (m...@radix.net) wrote:
>
> Ryan W. Mead (ryanme...@yahoo.com) wrote:
> >

> > I remember a story about him emphasizing the "R" sound
> > in which he helped a rabbit with red stripes lose the stripes
> > and become a regular rabbit.
>
> I had a rabbi with red stripes once.

Does that make you the big-eared Darrin or the in-the-closet Darrin?
I recall that was a pretty lame episode, so I bet it was one of the ones
with the second Darrin. It was certainly in color because the stripes
drawn on Sam's face were definitely red.

I don't recall the details, but I'm sure I can re-create the entire episode:

...Dr. Bombay gives Sam the wrong witch medicine for her witch cold.
She breaks out in red stripes during Darrin's presentation to a client.
Mr. Tate fires him but the client says "Red striped rashes! What a brilliant
new way to advertise my peanut butter!" and Darrin is re-hired at exactly
the same salary he's re-hired at every week. Then Endora accidentally
duplicates all my E-mail because I changed the time zone on my computer.

> According to groups.google.com, Kibo has not made a post about Lardo-brand
> candy since January 24, 2002. The fourth anniversary of the original
> ark reference to Lardo will be on February 8, 2003. Please light a
> candle.

But how do I know that the candle won't have been made in a factory that
molds candles from pig rectums on alternate days?

-- K.

I noticed that "beef bacon"
is now available even in
my local non-kosher supermarket,
where it's somewhat cheaper
than the "beef fry" at the
kosher market.

Is either worth trying?
Or are they almost as bad as
that vegetarian fake bacon?

James Kibo Parry

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Jan 7, 2003, 10:22:29 PM1/7/03
to
phy (phy...@yahoo.com) wrote:

>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > And how many of YOU had a teacher who taught such important lessons
> > about dismemberment fantasies?
>
> I had a teacher in high school who screwed us out of our feild trip, so
> instead he brought in some slides of some pictures he took when he was a
> helicopter pilot in The War Against Viet Nam and Sanity. One slide was a
> chixor who was carrying around her blue decomposing baby and another one
> was one of his comrades who got minced up by the blades of a crashed
> helicopter. Is that the kind of teacher you had in mind?

Only if he actually killed the baby and the comrade by ripping their
ears off with his bare hands, or if he at least ripped the slides up
with his bare hands after you saw them. You get half credit if the
reason you had to miss the field trip was that he kept shouting
"Permission slips are a tool OF THE GOVERNMENT!!!"

-- K.

Let your conscience be your guide!

Xaonon

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Jan 8, 2003, 12:46:46 AM1/8/03
to
Ned i bach <b37e63a7.03010...@posting.google.com>, Ryan W. Mead
<ryanme...@yahoo.com> teithant i thiw hin:

> Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba*,
[...]


> *Phonetic spelling of Kaga's introduction on Iron Chef, translated as
> "If memory serves me right."

Oh no, the Hivemind is getting stronger! Like, earlier today, I was
wondering exactly what he says, see, and THERE IT IS! And then, yesterday I
was watching MST3K, and then later in a bookstore I saw a book written by
Mike Nelson, and then after *that* I noticed that the protagonist in a book
I got at the library was named "Mike Nelson", and, and...

...and it was a book about LEARNING JAPANESE!

PH3AR THE H1VEM1ND!!!

--
Xaonon, EAC Chief of Mad Scientists and informal BAAWA, aa #1821, Kibo #: 1
Visit The Nexus Of All Coolness (i.e. my site) at http://xaonon.dyndns.org/
You were an atheist. You were stridently aligned. You were poison resistant.
You were invisible. You were a werejackal. You were lucky. You are dead.

Schwa Love

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Jan 8, 2003, 1:54:20 AM1/8/03
to
Xaonon <xao...@hotpop.com> wrote in
news:slrnb1nepe...@xaonon.local:

> Ned i bach <b37e63a7.03010...@posting.google.com>, Ryan W.
> Mead <ryanme...@yahoo.com> teithant i thiw hin:
>
>> Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba*,
> [...]
>> *Phonetic spelling of Kaga's introduction on Iron Chef, translated as
>> "If memory serves me right."
>
> Oh no, the Hivemind is getting stronger! Like, earlier today, I was
> wondering exactly what he says, see, and THERE IT IS! And then,
> yesterday I was watching MST3K, and then later in a bookstore I saw a
> book written by Mike Nelson, and then after *that* I noticed that the
> protagonist in a book I got at the library was named "Mike Nelson",
> and, and...

If it's the new book by Mike Nelson, "Mind Over Matters", it's a better
value than his previous book of movie reviews, because it isn't 40% blank
space. For some reason, in "Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese", every
movie/TV series review seemed to end with three or four lines of text on
their own page, looking so lonely and pathetic by themselves. And then the
next review starts on the next page about a third of the way down the page.
So, sure, everything is nice and uncluttered, but good god there was a lot
of wasted paper. At any rate, the new book is more cluttered, wastes less
paper, and is therefore a better value. At least with regards to the ink-
to-paper ratio, if there is such a measure, which there certainly should
be.

Also, every page doesn't start off with a paragraph praising DVD
technology. Sure, DVDs are swell and all, but the praise starts to get
redundant. Unless he is using some advanced form of "call-backs" that I
don't "get" because my sense of humor is "underdeveloped*".


> ...and it was a book about LEARNING JAPANESE!

Mike Nelson was in the Vapors?

-- Schwa ---

* - For example, it's obvious that I still find misuse and overuse of
quotation marks funny.

Kevin S. Wilson

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Jan 8, 2003, 2:42:24 AM1/8/03
to
On Wed, 8 Jan 2003 03:16:54 GMT, ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo"
Parry) wrote:

> I noticed that "beef bacon"
> is now available even in
> my local non-kosher supermarket,
> where it's somewhat cheaper
> than the "beef fry" at the
> kosher market.
>
> Is either worth trying?
> Or are they almost as bad as
> that vegetarian fake bacon?

Never tried "beef fry" or vegetarian bacon, that I know of. Never
tried beef bacon, either, so why am I responding to your post?

Oh, yeah. To tell you that the butcher guys I buy stuff from tell me
that beef bacon is a beef brisket that has been cured in much the same
way that regular pig bacon is cured. Since that's a similar process to
the one used to make pastrami, and the same cut of meat, don't blame
me if you start hankering for some rye-bread toast halfway through
breakfast.

Presuming, of course, that you only eat bacon at breakfast, like a
proper American.

--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho

"Sometimes I almost feel/Just like a human being"

robert lindsay

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Jan 8, 2003, 9:40:53 AM1/8/03
to
In article <kibo-03010...@ppp0c050.std.com>, James "Kibo" Parry
<ki...@world.std.com> wrote:


> Incidentally, the teacher in question
> liked to tell war stories involving
> pulling people's ears off.
>
> And how many of YOU had a teacher who
> taught such important lessons about
> dismemberment fantasies?

My psycho teacher had us spend all third drawing pictures of how
we love to each vegatbles. It didn't help I was seating next to this
kid who was able to draw people with photorealism, whereas my peopl
looked like they'd been dipped in three mile island.

Kevin S. Wilson

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Jan 8, 2003, 11:41:46 AM1/8/03
to
On Wed, 08 Jan 2003 09:40:53 -0500, robert lindsay
<rrli...@comcast.net> wrote:

>My psycho teacher had us spend all third drawing pictures of how

^ ^
of grade

>we love to each vegatbles.

^
made

I started to fix your post for you, Robert, but that's as far as I got
before defeat and despair crashed over me.

--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho

Nick Bensema

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Jan 8, 2003, 2:57:13 PM1/8/03
to
In article <slrnb1nepe...@xaonon.local>,

Xaonon <xao...@hotpop.com> wrote:
>Ned i bach <b37e63a7.03010...@posting.google.com>, Ryan W. Mead
><ryanme...@yahoo.com> teithant i thiw hin:
>
>> Watashi no kyoko taskarawaba*,
>[...]
>> *Phonetic spelling of Kaga's introduction on Iron Chef, translated as
>> "If memory serves me right."
>
>Oh no, the Hivemind is getting stronger! Like, earlier today, I was
>wondering exactly what he says, see, and THERE IT IS!

Actually, check the Iron Chef FAQ for the real spelling.

I was going to correct that post last week but suspected I was being
TROLLED! But now I see that soemone's going to BELIEVE the WRONG ANSWER
and now I must act!

From http://www.ironfans.com/faq/ --

Q: What exactly is Kaga saying at the beginning of the show?
A: The famous phrase is "If memory serves me correctly..."
The Japanese-English breakdown is something like this:
Watakushi no - My (the no is a possessive)
kioku - memory
ga - (subject marker)
tashika - is certain
naraba... - if...
The phrase has been parodied by Japanese comedians.
Written a bit more phonetically, it's
"Wa-tak-shi-no-key-yo-ku-ga-tash-ka-na-ra-ba".

HTH IHBT bye

--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
==== ======= ============== http://www.io.com/~nickb/

Matt McIrvin

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Jan 8, 2003, 9:11:56 PM1/8/03
to
In article <Xns92FCF3B52B7AA...@216.17.128.40>,
Schwa Love <schw...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Xaonon <xao...@hotpop.com> wrote in
> news:slrnb1nepe...@xaonon.local:
> >

> > Oh no, the Hivemind is getting stronger! Like, earlier today, I was
> > wondering exactly what he says, see, and THERE IT IS! And then,
> > yesterday I was watching MST3K, and then later in a bookstore I saw a
> > book written by Mike Nelson, and then after *that* I noticed that the
> > protagonist in a book I got at the library was named "Mike Nelson",
> > and, and...

and by this time my lungs were aching for air!

Once Mike Nelson met Jesse "Maximum Leader" Ventura, and Ventura made
some joke about how the character on "Sea Hunt" was named Mike Nelson,
and Nelson wrote in TV Guide "Oh, yeah... old guys have made that joke
to me before!"

Which was funny, except that on MST3K, Nelson or one of his cohorts had
spent years sticking in dozens of references to "Sea Hunt." I think he's
a fan.

> If it's the new book by Mike Nelson, "Mind Over Matters", it's a better
> value than his previous book of movie reviews, because it isn't 40% blank
> space.

"Mind Over Matters" gets dangerously close to Andy Rooney territory in
spots, but the chapter about his job working the phone for a collection
agency was delightfully horrifying.

--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/

n...@identity.kom

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Feb 16, 2003, 5:32:18 AM2/16/03
to
> And how many of YOU had a teacher who
> taught such important lessons about
> dismemberment fantasies?

Grade 5 : our science teacher was a Polynesian witch doctor, does that
count?

Vague recollection of a story involving massive tissue rupturing
caused by the power of suggestion.

Science has never made any sense since.

n...@identity.kom

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Feb 16, 2003, 5:35:44 AM2/16/03
to
On Wed, 08 Jan 2003 09:40:53 -0500, robert lindsay
<rrli...@comcast.net> wrote:

Three Mile Island : famous scene of radiation leak? so your drawn
people horribly dis-figured by birth defects? I drew people like that
too!


David DeLaney

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Feb 16, 2003, 2:22:55 PM2/16/03
to

Wow. LOVE yer bangpath, no.

Dave "posting ... from ... THE PAAAAAAAAST!!!!" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.

Glenn Knickerbocker

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Feb 16, 2003, 5:37:07 PM2/16/03
to
On Sun, 16 Feb 2003 21:32:18 +1100, n...@identity.kom wrote:
>Vague recollection of a story involving massive tissue rupturing
>caused by the power of suggestion.

Sounds like the cysts I just drained. Did it also smell like rotten
peanuts? <-- NOT FOR WP'ING

ŹR http://users.bestweb.net/~notr/travelog/19990724.html
"How can I get [Henry Rollins] into Joe Manfre's pants?"

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