What the hell is up with these Valtrex commercials? Are there that many
people with herpes out there? In fact are most of them walking about in
beautiful summer fields smiling with people who look far too happy to know
the person beside thme is carrying a disease they got from sleeping about?
Everytime I see one of these commercials I keep thinking I gotta go out and
get herpes. It's what all the really beautiful people have. It's not like
AIDS at all. When you get Herpes you become incredibly muscular with flaxen
hair.
I gotta get me some of that
P&SC
Yep. About 40,000,000 in the US alone.
[ In fact are most of them walking about in
[beautiful summer fields
Not in February, no. But then, despite the car commercials, most
people driving around aren't living on huge estates, driving down
clean but deserted summer roads or through perfectly still water,
either.
[ smiling with people who look far too happy to know
[the person beside thme is carrying a disease they got from sleeping about?
A), herpes is not only transmitted by the person's "sleeping about,"
B), there is a good chance that the other person has a prescription
for Valtrex too,
C), since when is someone like me, who doesn't have herpes, not
permitted to be happy when they are with someone who does?
[Everytime I see one of these commercials I keep thinking I gotta go out and
[get herpes.
Your post makes me think you ought to go get stuffed.
Well of COURSE they're ALONE. They've got HERPES! Who'd want to
be with THEM?
> [ In fact are most of them wanking about in
> [beautiful summer fields
> [ smiling with people who look far too happy to know
> [the person beside thme is carrying a disease they got from sleeping about?
>
> A), herpes is not only transmitted by the person's "sleeping about,"
It's also transmitted by using public toilets, MOM!
> [Everytime I see one of these commercials I keep thinking I gotta go out and
> [get herpes.
>
> Your post makes me think you ought to go get stuffed
with a huge wad of crystallized, stable, infectious HERPES!
So, if a urinophilic catfish has herpes....
Yeah, herpes is in the media now b/c they've got these new drugs
and there're ads and shit, but what I wanna know about is this
business about Dutch speed skaters all having the clap.
-Teg
Sorry.
Ian York
--
Working for a frubjous tomorrow.
I was going to respond to you, then I noticed that your reply to is at
berkeley.edu and realized that giving you a reasoned answer would be
like trying to teach a pig to sing.
Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>In article <6be867$1...@camel12.mindspring.com>,
>"Plain and Simple Cronan" <cro...@DeathsDoor.com> wrote:
>[
>[What the hell is up with these Valtrex commercials? Are there that many
>[people with herpes out there?
>
>Yep. About 40,000,000 in the US alone.
I don't believe you; what are their names?
>[ In fact are most of them walking about in
>[beautiful summer fields
>
>Not in February, no. But then, despite the car commercials, most
>people driving around aren't living on huge estates, driving down
>clean but deserted summer roads or through perfectly still water,
>either.
What do car commercials have to do with ANYTHING? This isn't posted to any
automotive groups.
>[ smiling with people who look far too happy to know
>[the person beside thme is carrying a disease they got from sleeping about?
>
>A), herpes is not only transmitted by the person's "sleeping about,"
Yeah, you can get herpes by sitting next to hookers on the bus. My dad told
me about that.
>B), there is a good chance that the other person has a prescription
>for Valtrex too,
I don't have a prescrition for Valtrex, how can the other person get one
TOO, if I don't have one?
>C), since when is someone like me, who doesn't have herpes, not
>permitted to be happy when they are with someone who does?
Since the Herpes-Enjoyment Act of 1994 was passed in 1992. It specifically
forbids anyone without herpes being happy when with someone who does. Legal
penalties range from simple fines to being beaten by your local police
force, or the FBI (depending on the exact jurisidctional boundries). You
should really not post to a herpes group if you don't know these sort of
laws.
>[Everytime I see one of these commercials I keep thinking I gotta go out
and
>[get herpes.
>
>Your post makes me think you ought to go get stuffed.
Well, that's one way to get herpes, yes...
Anyway, for all you alt.herpes regulars, what's the best way for someone to
get herpes so that they can be happy like a Valtrex commercial? Is getting
stuffed really the best way?
--
Kevin Allegood ri...@mindspring.com
No estoy vistiendo ninguna pantalones. Película a las 11.
Je ne porte aucun pantalon. Film à 11.
Ich trage keine Hosen. Film bei 11.
Non sto portando alcuni pantaloni. Pellicola a 11.
Eu não estou desgastando nenhumas calças. Película em 11.
Gno mou shiok fu, sap yat tim yau siu sek.
Jag har inga byxor på mig. Film kl 11.
Uiopy treintity angleksi a retyuivia. Arestada bermany 11.
Ik heb geen broek aan. Film om 11 uur.
wo mei chuan kuzi. 11 wan jian.
Minulla ei ole housut päällä - elokuva alkaa klo 11
Pantsless in 12 languages!
Umm, does this include the non-sexually transmitted one? If not, that sounds
like a hell of a lot.
--
mat...@area.com
I would assume that it does.
All I can say is "Butylated Hydroxytoluene."
And that's pretty good for a vocabulary of ONE WORD!!!
Douglas Goodall
aka Phil F Einstein
aka cuprum at mindspring company
"Ad infinitum, ad absurdum, ad astra!"
lim f(x) = oo
x --> sky
Keith Wood <kei...@SKIPTHESPAM.bctv.com> wrote in article
<fu120wUN...@SKIPTHESPAM.bctv.com>...
<a response to Teg Pipes>
> I was going to respond to you, then I noticed that your reply to is at
> berkeley.edu and realized that giving you a reasoned answer would be
> like trying to teach a pig to sing.
I can't believe I'm hearing this kind of talk from
one of my friends at Boston Catholic Television.
Rick
>[Well of COURSE they're ALONE. They've got HERPES! Who'd want to
>[be with THEM?
>I was going to respond to you, then I noticed that your reply to is at
>berkeley.edu and realized that giving you a reasoned answer would be
>like trying to teach a pig to sing.
So, I guess it wasn't a cold sore, hmm?
--
Joe Bay Leland Stanford Junior University
I g o t y o u r r e c e p t o r R I G H T H E R E
Putting the "harm" in "Molecular Pharmacology" since 1998
Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting- http://www.igc.apc.org/fair/
Matt Ackeret <mat...@area.com> wrote in article
If this ratio doesn't bother you, as of 0550z, 8 FEB 1998 the
estimated population of the United States was 269,115,472.
Rounding, 40 million goes into 270 million 6.75 times, so just under
one person in 7 in the US has herpes, or nearly 15% of the
population.
An interesting figure. To put it in perspective, there are about
1500 herpes sufferers for each person who will die from gun-related
incidents (homicide, suicide, accident, and shootings deemed
justifiable) this year.
This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
JERSEY.
That's EVERY ADULT between the ages of 18 and 65 living EAST OF THE
MISSISSIPPI RIVER (not counting Florida).
--
Flamingo
"Whoever said 'All men are created equal' has never taken a shower at the
YMCA."
Actually, I read in the paper today (Parade section) that 1 out of 5 people
have sexually transmitted herpes. (No it wasn't in a Valtrex ad.. it was
in some fear-about-diseases article.)
--
mat...@area.com
Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
>JERSEY.
THE ENTIRE POPULATIONS OF CALIFORNIA AND NEW JERSEY HAVE HERPES?
QUIT LYING, TROLLING LIKE THIS IS NOT NICE. MY MOTHER WAS FROM NEW JERSEY
AND SHE NEVER HAD HERPES, YOU PERVERTS. I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR LIBERAL.
>That's EVERY ADULT between the ages of 18 and 65 living EAST OF THE
>MISSISSIPPI RIVER (not counting Florida).
QUIT TRYING TO SEARCH ENGINE BOMB THE MISSISSISSIPPI RIVER! I'M BETWEEN 18
AND 65 AND I LIVE IN NORTH CAROLINA, WHICH IS NOT FLORIDA, AND I DON'T HAVE
HERPES. YOUR STATISTICS ARE ALL WRONG WRONG WRONG! I THINK YOU'RE JUST
MAKING STUFF UP BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE THOSE OF US ON THE EAST COAST. WELL,
TAKE SOME VALTREX AND CALM DOWN, HERPMETICLY SEALED DUDE.
--
Kevin Allegood ri...@mindspring.com
No estoy vistiendo ninguna pantalones. Película a las 11.
Je ne porte aucun pantalon. Film à 11.
Ich trage keine Hosen. Film bei 11.
Non sto portando alcuni pantaloni. Pellicola a 11.
Eu não estou desgastando nenhumas calças. Película em 11.
Gno mou shiok fu, sap yat tim yau siu sek.
Jag har inga byxor på mig. Film kl 11.
Uiopy treintity angleksi a retyuivia. Arestada bermany 11.
Ik heb geen broek aan. Film om 11 uur.
wo mei chuan kuzi. 11 wan jian.
Minulla ei ole housut päällä - elokuva alkaa klo 11
Asieoniezi asieoniezi asieoniezi! Asieoniezi asieoniezi, asieoniezi.
Pants sil sil sil! Beable doidy druidy 11!
Pantsless in 14 languages!
But all of this will change once Ian York's "Herpes Handgun" is
perfected. Then there will be 1501 herpes suffers per person who'll
die from gun-related incidents. Of course, this excludes deer and
other hunted animals, because herpes is a "ecotrophic" virus, meaning
that it eats houses. So the only deer who'll get infected are those
that get shot when they're in your yard. (Well, the deer that Keith
Wood has oral sex with will also, of course, become infected.)
> That's EVERY ADULT between the ages of 18 and 65 living EAST OF THE
> MISSISSIPPI RIVER (not counting Florida).
Wait, what is this crap? Herpes doesn't just GO AWAY when yo RETIRE!
You keep that shit FOREVER. Like LUGGAGE.
-Teg
Riboflavin wrote:
> Keith Wood wrote in message ...
> >This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
> >JERSEY.
>
> THE ENTIRE POPULATIONS OF CALIFORNIA AND NEW JERSEY HAVE HERPES?
>
> QUIT LYING, TROLLING LIKE THIS IS NOT NICE. MY MOTHER WAS FROM NEW JERSEY
> AND SHE NEVER HAD HERPES, YOU PERVERTS. I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR LIBERAL
This truly has to be one of the funniest threads I've read on Usenet in quite
some time.
Thanks guys! :)
> What the hell is up with these Valtrex commercials?
I just want to get me some Prilosec, since I am a droopy-looking
animated character trapped inside a GUI window, and can only communicate
by reaching out of my little pane and pressing the round-rects marked
"YES" and "NO."
Whoops, I gotta disappear for a while so that disclaimers can scroll
past in bitmap Chicago.
--
Font-o-Meter! Proportional Monospaced
^
Physics, humor, Stanislaw Lem reviews: http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
cuprum (cuprum) wrote in message <34dbc3ad....@news.mindspring.com>...
>"Riboflavin" <ri...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>>
>>Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>>>In article <6be867$1...@camel12.mindspring.com>,
>>>"Plain and Simple Cronan" <cro...@DeathsDoor.com> wrote:
> ---------------cut here-------------------
>
>All I can say is "Butylated Hydroxytoluene."
>
>And that's pretty good for a vocabulary of ONE WORD!!!
Asieoniezi? Asieoniezi asieoniezi asieoniezi asieoniezi.
Asieoniezi,
No, dummy, read it again. It is EQUIVALENT. Go look the word up if
you need to.
Hey, I'm equivalent to a Californian and I don't have herpes!
At least, I think I don't. I'm sure this rash will go away.
Why does it hurt when I pee?
--
Alex Suter
"They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!"
http://world.std.com/~asuter/
Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>In article <6blhb0$d...@camel15.mindspring.com>,
>"Riboflavin" <ri...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>[
>[Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>[>This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
>[>JERSEY.
>[
>[
>[THE ENTIRE POPULATIONS OF CALIFORNIA AND NEW JERSEY HAVE HERPES?
>
>No, dummy, read it again. It is EQUIVALENT. Go look the word up if
>you need to.
LOOK, MORON EQUIVALENT MEANS SOMETHING EQUIVALENT TO 'THE SAME AS'. SO I WAS
RIGHT. I DON'T NEED TO LOOK THE WORD UP, AND QUIT POSTING THESE LIES ABOUT
MY MOTHER FROM CALIFORNIA. I WILL HAVE MY ATTOURNEY CONTACT THIS LIST IF
THIS OUTRAGE CONTINUES.
SEE? THIS IS YET ANOTHER PERSON WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE THE FALSE HERPES
PROPOGANDA ABOUT EVERYONE IN NEW JERSEY AND CALIFORNIA HAVING HERPES. THEY
SHOULD STOP MAKING THESE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST MY WONDERFUL MOTHER, WHO SPENT
HER WHOLE LIFE IN LOS ANGELES.
>Why does it hurt when I pee?
ALEX,
DID THEY SUTER THE WOUND AFTER THE UNFORTUNATE VACCUM AND TAPIOCA INCIDENT?
THAT COULD WELL BE THE SOURCE OF THE PAIN. YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T KEEP POSTING
TO THIS HERPES GROUP, FOR ADVICE, BECAUSE THEY KEEP ACCUSING MY MOTHER, WHO
KEEPS THINKING OF MOVING BACK TO JERSEY CITY, OF HAVING HERPES.
Yes. The literate among us know what I meant.
Keith Wood wrote:
> [LOOK, MORON EQUIVALENT MEANS SOMETHING EQUIVALENT TO 'THE SAME AS'.
>
> Yes. The literate among us know what I meant.
And the clueless among us don't realize when they're being had.
>[>This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
>[>JERSEY.
>[THE ENTIRE POPULATIONS OF CALIFORNIA AND NEW JERSEY HAVE HERPES?
>No, dummy, read it again. It is EQUIVALENT. Go look the word up if
>you need to.
I JUST LOOKED UP THAT WORD AND YOU ARE STILL RONG, MISTER! I MEAN WRONG.
THE POPULATION OF NEW JERSEY IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FROM
THE POPULATION OF CALIFORNIA. THESE PEOPLE HERE IN CALIFORNIA ARE A
BUNCH OF MAMBY-PAMBY
>If this ratio doesn't bother you, as of 0550z, 8 FEB 1998 the
>estimated population of the United States was 269,115,472.
>Rounding, 40 million goes into 270 million 6.75 times, so just under
>one person in 7 in the US has herpes, or nearly 15% of the
>population.
Yeah, but that's nothing compared to the figures for Epstein-Barr virus.
Look out! Someone YOU know MAY be infected! Trust no one!
>This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
>That's EVERY ADULT between the ages of 18 and 65 living EAST OF THE
>Yes. The literate among us know what I meant.
COULD SOMEONE PLEASE READ THIS POST OUT LOUD TO ME? ALSO WHAT KIND
OF LIGHT DO I NEED FOR MY SAMOAN WINGLESS SKINK? ARE THERE ANY REAL
HERPETOLOGISTS ON THIS WEB LIST?
SINCERELY,
NOT JOE BAY
include ~/notjoebay.bmp
HEY! Did _I_ ask you to get into the middle of my opportunity to
release some stress?! ;)
You wouldn't know "culture" if it bit you on the ankle. Which, in
California, it just might.
Messed up snipping somewhere.
>In article <6bno8s$2...@amy1.Stanford.EDU>,
>jm...@leland.Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay) wrote:
>[kei...@SKIPTHESPAM.bctv.com (Keith Wood) writes:
>[
>[
>[>[>This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
>[>[>JERSEY.
>[
>[
>[>[THE ENTIRE POPULATIONS OF CALIFORNIA AND NEW JERSEY HAVE HERPES?
>[
>[>No, dummy, read it again. It is EQUIVALENT. Go look the word up if
>[>you need to.
>[
>[
>[I JUST LOOKED UP THAT WORD AND YOU ARE STILL RONG, MISTER! I MEAN WRONG.
>[
>[THE POPULATION OF NEW JERSEY IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FROM
>[THE POPULATION OF CALIFORNIA. THESE PEOPLE HERE IN CALIFORNIA ARE A
>[BUNCH OF MAMBY-PAMBY
Yes, the populations are different. This is what I believe the first post
is saying: that the total of whatever he is talking about all together
equals the total population of California and New Jersey combined. This
does not mean everyone has herpes, this does not mean the populations are
the same. It simply means that added all up it equals those populations.
Some people shouldn't post on newsgroups if they are only there to make
asinine comments and insults.
Brad
>Why I'm responding to this, I'll never know - this happened to be the only
>post I read of this thread.. Oh well.
>Messed up snipping somewhere.
Bad mohel! No biscuit!
>Yes, the populations are different. This is what I believe the first post
>is saying: that the total of whatever he is talking about all together
>equals the total population of California and New Jersey combined. This
>does not mean everyone has herpes, this does not mean the populations are
>the same. It simply means that added all up it equals those populations.
No, it doesn't *mean* everyone in California and New Jersey has herpes.
But that's what he WANTS you to believe. He goes on very nicely
about "equivalence" and "population size", but HIS REAL AGENDA IS CLEAR.
Also, New Jersey herpes could kick the crap out of California herpes.
>Some people shouldn't post on newsgroups if they are only there to make
>asinine comments and insults.
On the other hand, some people should. It needs to be done.
>Brad
>Some people shouldn't post on newsgroups if they are only there to make
>asinine comments and insults.
I'm only here to make asinine comments, but I'm not much for insults.
So I'm not sure if I should post or not.
Well I would just like to comment (|) (|) (|) (|) (|) (|) (|)
(|) (|).
Ass-O-Nine Tails,
A Four Assed Monkey
P.S. Maybe we weren't meant to mess with God's domain. Maybe
I went too far trying to make a five assed monkey.
--
Alex Suter
"Another child is born in India every time you call."
http://world.std.com/~asuter/
Brad Dancer <wtt...@tapscan.com> wrote in article
> Some people shouldn't post on newsgroups if they are only there to make
> asinine comments and insults.
>
> Brad
Say hello to alt.religion.kibology, my friend.
Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>In article <6bnbsq$d...@camel15.mindspring.com>,
>"Riboflavin" <ri...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>[
>[Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>[>In article <6blhb0$d...@camel15.mindspring.com>,
>[>"Riboflavin" <ri...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>[>[
>[>[Keith Wood wrote in message ...
>[>[>This is equivalent to the ENTIRE POPULATIONS of CALIFORNIA and NEW
>[>[>JERSEY.
>[>[
>[>[
>[>[THE ENTIRE POPULATIONS OF CALIFORNIA AND NEW JERSEY HAVE HERPES?
>[>
>[>No, dummy, read it again. It is EQUIVALENT. Go look the word up if
>[>you need to.
>[
>[LOOK, MORON EQUIVALENT MEANS SOMETHING EQUIVALENT TO 'THE SAME AS'.
>
>Yes. The literate among us know what I meant.
So your bigoted against the illiterate?
You PRO HERPES BNASTARD!!
P&SC
BNASTARD