On my desk today
Christopher Chase
Two boxes High Density floppy diskettes
One RG58 Coaxial T-Connector
One transparent plastic blue clipboard (So I can easily see what's written
on the back of my notepad)
One can Diet Dr. Pepper
One Cat 5 Ethernet crossover cable hooked in a loop, so that it can network
itself.
I HAVE THE INTERNET ON MY DESK!
One Road Runner High Speed Online Service squishy ball.
Specifications for an APC Smart-UPS 2200.
Ghost(TM) client diskettes.
A real ghost. He's trying to haunt me out of my office.
--
Chris Chase
Grand Wizard - KPS of Texas
Kamikaze Peep Squad
David Pacheco
cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
[ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
HEY! GRATE IDEA! LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE ON *MY* DESK!
- a speculum
- pinking shears
- Ninja throwing stars
- Downy fabric softener
- 17 hypodermic needles (used)
- 10 hypodermic needles (unused, filled with Mr. Clean)
- a thin layer of blood and phlegm covering all the other items
C'MON EVERY BUDY! JOIN IN! THIS STUFF IS FACSI^WFASI^WRILLY
INTERESTING!
Then maybe someone will compile all the lists and release a book that
will go straight to video in the "Special Offers" bin next to the cash
registers!
-dp.
Tell us what's in
your fridge, too!
Marc Lachance
--
/\ Marc Etienne Lachance, KSC, LMAA
/<>\ Danubist, Ateist, and well,
/____\ *you* figure it out. Argwuffle.
Joseph Michael Bay
>C'MON EVERY BUDY! JOIN IN! THIS STUFF IS FACSI^WFASI^WRILLY
>INTERESTING!
YAAAY! My desk has:
-A bunsen burner
-A lab notebook
-A 12 oz container of Gold Shield absolute ethanol
-A 2 liter graduated cylinder full of TAE buffer
-An electrophoresis gel box
-Three containers of recombinant human-infecting viruses sealed with tape
-A small pool of some kind of reddish-pink liquid
-Some loose, dried-out tape
-A "bug-eyed Earl" cartoon from _Red Meat_
-A desktop centrifuge
>Then maybe someone will compile all the lists and release a book that
>will go straight to video in the "Special Offers" bin next to the cash
>registers!
"Mister Pacheco, we've decided to fast-track your book. We start
publishing Tuesday, and pulping Wednesday."
--
Joseph M. Bay
Department of Molecular Pharmacology
Stanford University
Age 7
Paul Blay
news:MPG.126912742...@news.freeserve.net...
> In article <7tkt2k$7mb$1...@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>,
> cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
> [ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
>
>
> INTERESTING!
>
1. CD Expert Typing (I bought it for my Mum, honest!)
2. CD PC Pro Nov 1999 Cover Disk - Bought for WinDelete 97,
never used
3. CD Epson Stylus Color 600 Printer Software. I really
wanted the "Colour" version but apparently that does
not exist.
4. Left Speaker (off).
5. Telephone (unplugged)
6. East Berks College Pay Slip - 99/06/99 - Guess the
ammount for an unfunny prize.
7. Keyboard (What I'm typing this on).
8. TV Remote
9. Video Remote
10. Telephone Note pad - Slightly chewed - 6 entries.
11. Made-in-USA half razor blade
12. Scrap paper with obscure Visual Basic error code
13. Video box (empty)
14. Mouse
15. Mouse Pad
16. Heroes of Might and Magic III Manual
17. That is all
18. Award +6 Luzer points for reading this far
19. Award +10^6 Luzer points for writing this far.
Paul "So, what is Kibology, anyway?" Blay
Poot Rootbeer
>6. East Berks College Pay Slip - 99/06/99 - Guess the
> ammount for an unfunny prize.
But that date hasn't happened yet, has it?
Now is that the 99th day of June, or the sixth day of the 99th month
(Woxcember)?
>11. Made-in-USA half razor blade
>Paul "So, what is Kibology, anyway?" Blay
Kibology is the kind of blade that the other half of your blade is.
-Blade
Louis Nick III
> On Sat, 9 Oct 1999 12:02:17 +0100, david_...@lineone.net (David
> Pacheco) wrote:
>
> >In article <7tkt2k$7mb$1...@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>,
> >cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
> >[ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
> >
> >
> >- a speculum
> >- pinking shears
> >- Ninja throwing stars
> >- Downy fabric softener
> >- 17 hypodermic needles (used)
> >- 10 hypodermic needles (unused, filled with Mr. Clean)
> >- a thin layer of blood and phlegm covering all the other items
> >
> >INTERESTING!
>
>
> - death
> - pestulance
> -famine
> -and the other one
> - sorrow
> - longing
> -abandonment
> - grandiosity
> - a bottle of OCD
> - 2 empty canisters of self-loathing
> - 1/27th of David's ego
> - Misplaced anger
> - your fragile sense of self-worth
> - 2 Starbust wrappers
- Expensive stereo
- Speakers for computer (2 plus sub-woofer)
- Printer
- Folio of various ark posts
- huge-ass monitor
- keyboard (Legotech, with additional buttons for browser)
- mousepad
- 3M Precision Mousing Surface placed over mousepad
- wheelmouse
- Expensive computer which makes TeeVee (adjacent surface) and stereo
useless and obselete.
- Angst
- dinner.
- The Matrix DVD in case
- empty Super Big Gulp cup
- half-full cup of water
- half-empty cup of water
- 1 "coaster", actually 1/9th of a mixed-stone tile from a Capital
Improvement Project (new IMAX theater) at work.
- 8 batteries, 6 unused
- Leah's home phone number
- GPS tracker which shows Ted Frank's position all the time
- Misc cables connecting computer to Stereo, TeeVee, Diamond Rio,
Printer, ZIP Drive, Speakers, and other parts of itself.
- One UW Daily, today's date
- Ford logo from 1989 Ford Escort Hatchback (deceased).
- microscopic swiss army knife
- bandana
- Louis Armstrong (leaning against the desk)
--
"Can't you people only steal the brainwaves that AREN'T in the
sarcastic half of my brain?" -James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com>
YOUR WEBSITE HERE! -->
=== Louis Nick III alt.religion.louis-nick sun...@seanet.com ===
Noah A Christis
>In article <7tkt2k$7mb$1...@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>,
>cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
>[ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
>
>HEY! GRATE IDEA! LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE ON *MY* DESK!
>
>- a speculum
>- pinking shears
>- Ninja throwing stars
>- Downy fabric softener
>- 17 hypodermic needles (used)
>- 10 hypodermic needles (unused, filled with Mr. Clean)
>- a thin layer of blood and phlegm covering all the other items
>
>C'MON EVERY BUDY! JOIN IN! THIS STUFF IS FACSI^WFASI^WRILLY
>INTERESTING!
I think we've done this before, but here goes:
-a can of cherry juice (empty: about 3 months old)
-a can of boysenberry juice, recently emptied.
-blue pilot precise v7 pens arranged in the shape of stonehenge.
-deterring democracy
-a 32 oz container with 2oz of peanuts in it.
-some floppy disks (pink, black, and orange) <-- yuck!
-a sanrio pacheco bumpersticker reading "this vehicle stops for
popcorn"
-a stack of bills about 2 feet high
-assorted poems written on the back of grocery receipts
-a mag innovision 21" monitor
-a letter from duke university (dated 2/7/97) with a phone number
and a smiley scrawled on the back in someone elses handwriting
-a sanrio chococat address book
the enb
---
An ancient Highland, a misty north wind. The shepherd
inspired, stands to tap a pebble, with his staff.
[from shift.co.jp]
Shiro Akaishi
<380341bb....@news.remarq.com>:
<snipped it all, baby!>
I said I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Whyyyy didn't you believe me!?!?!
- rainbow colored pencil from Lisa Frank decorating kit
- HP deskjet 600C (unplugged, paper feeder full of Ritz cracker wrappers)
- rolled up Pinky and Brain poster that should be on the wall
- empty video box (RCA T-120 Hi-Fi)
- Metaltech Earthsiege 2 box
- various manuals and other detria for "CIC Handwriter Mx" tablet
- 1 copy, Jason Asala's "Poe" Volume 1
- right speaker
- long phillips head screw from R/C car packaging
- pressure sensitive stylus for "CIC Handwriter Mx" tablet
- elastic hair tie (white)
- pez dispenser (bugs bunny)
- wrapper, Quaker Chewy granola bar (chocolate chip)
- Allsop mouse pad, grey water droplet design
- "CIC Handwriter Mx" tablet (on top of mouse pad for reasons unknown)
- 17" monitor of indeterminate make and/or model
- keyboard (generic, AT connector)
- multiple plastic wrappers for processed american cheese
- first page of manual for "Apache" by I-Magic games
- logitech FirstMouse+ wheelmouse
- wrapper, mini 3-musketeers
- advertisement from "PC Gamer" magazine, beseeching me to "do them a favor"
- page two of "PC Gamer" advertisement
- left speaker
- CPU unit (was once made by Inteva but since all parts have been replaced...)
- strange ripped bits of paper of indeterminate origin
- thick glass, once containing lemon-lime kool-aid, now empty
- power strip (one flip turns the system on or off)
- large sheet of linoleum underlying all of this, thumb tacked to the wood
Tadaa!
--
//\ ICQ: 26175196
(/__\
/). \.
/
Leah Verre
Pacheco) wrote:
>In article <7tkt2k$7mb$1...@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>,
>cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
>[ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
>
>HEY! GRATE IDEA! LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE ON *MY* DESK!
>
>- a speculum
>- pinking shears
>- Ninja throwing stars
>- Downy fabric softener
>- 17 hypodermic needles (used)
>- 10 hypodermic needles (unused, filled with Mr. Clean)
>- a thin layer of blood and phlegm covering all the other items
>
>C'MON EVERY BUDY! JOIN IN! THIS STUFF IS FACSI^WFASI^WRILLY
>INTERESTING!
OKAY.
Karlo Takki
~~~~~~ WAVY FLASHBACK LINES ~~~~~~
> From: kta...@artcrime.com (Karlo Takki)
> Subject: Re: Stuff that is on my table
> Date: 16 May 1998 00:00:00 GMT
> Message-ID: <6jj357$8gt$1...@supernews.com>
> Sender: kta...@xensei2.xensei.com
> References: <199805151856...@ladder03.news.aol.com>
> X-Authenticated: ktakki on POP host xensei2.xensei.com
> X-Complaints-To: news...@supernews.com
> X-Trace: 895291367 UPBPDQ3RXAF7AC697C usenet88.supernews.com
> X-Posted-From: InterNews 1....@artcrime.com
> Organization: KTMS
> Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
>
>
> There are four tables and an Ultimate Support keyboard stand in my home
> office. I'll restrict this list to the table I'm sitting at (two solid-
> core doors placed on three file cabinets):
>
> 01. Commodore Amiga 1084S monitor (fed by an NTSC signal from a VCR)
>
> 02. Mac Quadra 700 (17" mon., 20M RAM, Mustek scanner, CD-ROM, ext. 1GB HD,
> Zip)
>
> 03. MagLite
>
> 04. Bottle of Paxil
>
> 05. Cardboard box containing 4 30-round magazines for an AK-47 and
> 120 rounds of Czech Seiller & Bellot 7.62x39 ammo
>
> 06. HP laserJet 6L
>
> 07. _Dark Sun_ (Richard Rhodes, Simon & Shuster)
>
> 08. Maximus 486 DX2-66 (17" monitor, 32M RAM, Summagraphics tablet) running
> Win 3.11/DOS 6.22
>
> 09. Cheap sunglasses.
>
> 10. Zeos Pentium 100 (15" monitor, 32M RAM) running Win95/DOS 7
>
> 11. CallerID box.
>
> 12. No-name 486 DX4-100 (14" monitor, 12M RAM) running Linux.
>
> 13. DSU/CSU for 56K DDS line.
>
> 14. Stuffed Animal57
>
> 15. Timex/Sinclair TS-1000 (4K RAM, no monitor).
>
> Thank you, you've been a great audience. Good night!
>
> --
> "Non so piu cosa son,
> Cosa facio."
> - Mozart (Figaro)
Update: The Paxil's gone, the 14" monitor is dead (like I need a
monitor on a Linux box), and I finally finished _Dark Sun_. My
desk has grown (a *third* solid core door) and now contains the
following in addition to the aforementioned items:
- PowerMac 7200/17" monitor
- ceramic baby head (looks like Palin's mask in _Brazil_)
- some ancient Macs (512k, IIcx, ClassicII)
- various MIDI interfaces for above
- Magic 8 ball
- Sony Trinitron NTSC monitor with Amiga monitor superposed
- a couple of old multi-track decks (Tascam 38, Fostex E-16)
- a pair of mid-'80s Studiomaster mixing boards
(quirky British design: the channels are numbered *backwards* --
16 > 1 -- must be bad dentistry or something)
- more 7.62x39 ammo (My AK-47 is Y2K READY!)
- lotsa stuff that's 19" wide (reverbs, gates, limiters, compressors,
and a fargin *boatanchor* of a Chorus Echo)
- some classic drum machines (LinnDrum, Obie DMX, TR-606)
I just said "classic drum machines". It is the end of history.
So, Mister Chase, if that is indeed your real name, if your intention
was to win this Desktop Dick Size War, NU-UH! NEENER NEENER! I WIN!
Besides, even without all the obsolete audio crap (which, suprisingly,
is depreciating slower than my 'puters and in some cases -- TR-606 --
is appreciating in value), I've got guns and guns beat 'puters like
rocks beat scissors. I've just got to avoid people with paper.
Computer vs. AK-47: the Deathmatch!
Computer: Can easily compute complex equations and formulae.
AK-47: Can easily kill mathmeticians.
Advantage: AK-47
Computer: Can help search for extraterrestrial intelligence.
AK-47: Can kill extraterrestrial intelligence.
Advantage: AK-47
Computer: Can be used to view N00D G1FZ!
AK-47: Can be used to force women to unclothe but only in countries
where they don't bathe or shave pits and stuff. Like Canada.
Advantage: Computer
Computer: Warranty is void if this seal is broken.
AK-47: Can be repaired by a goatherd with a rock.
Advantage: Even (Goatherds are hard to find in Boston)
Computer: Can be used to flame people worldwide.
AK-47: Can kill out to 300 yards.
Advantage: Even.
Winner: AK-47! (2-1-2)
Next up: LinnDrum vs. sledgehammer!
k.
--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank
Poot Rootbeer
what I have so you can make fun of it.
Louis Nick III <sun...@seanet.com> wrote:
> - wheelmouse
Wheelmouse was my favorite Transformer.
> - Expensive computer which makes TeeVee (adjacent surface) and stereo
>useless and obselete.
Yeah, those WEBtv's are really something. Duz NE1 know how to get free
playboy channel on a \/\/eb+\/?
> - The Matrix DVD in case
We hope we'll never need to use it, but we must have it ready just in case.
> - empty Super Big Gulp cup
- super Empty Big Gulp cup
- big Empty Super Gulp cup
- gulp Super Cup Empty Big empty
> - 1 "coaster", actually 1/9th of a mixed-stone tile from a Capital
>Improvement Project (new IMAX theater) at work.
Oooh, I'm telling on you! You thought you'd get away with stealing 1/9th
of a rock from the movie theater you work at?
> - bandana
Comes in handy if you're ever accosted at your desk by a gordilla.
VIVA GORDILLAS!
What Poot Rootbeer has on his desk:
- 2 empty glasses
- jar of maraschino cherries, soaked in tequila
- facial tissue
- Simpsons desk calendar
- Keytronic keyboard with built-in microphone
- Logitech ergonomic wheel mouse with special thumb button
- 10-button programmable digital gamepad
- medium-quality KDS 17" monitor
- low-quality CTX 15" monitor that loses h-sync unless you smack it
- power strip
- GE VCR
- remote control for VCR
- soldering kit
- Brother laser printer
- Creative Labs surround speakers (fronts and mini-subwoofer only)
- VHS videocassette, "Frank Zappa's 200 Motels"
- spring-loaded CD-R label applicator
- vial of "The Crave" candy, "Brain Wash" flavor (ingredients: sugar, sour,
blue)
- various and sundry leaflets, scrap paper, writing implements, and paper
clip sculpture
-Poot
Does my X-HTML-bomb: header
actually do anything to
anyone's newsreader?
Michael Jaffo Duff
:- your fragile sense of self-worth
Wait, do you have the old one shaped like a Reggie Johnson bar, or the NEW one
shaped like a Skittle?
Jaffo
--
On Larry King Live, Marlon Brando made the shocking statement that
Hollywood is "run by Jews." In response, outraged Jewish groups made it
snow in New York in April.
Michael Jaffo Duff
- One giant monitor, in need of repair.
- One Micron keyboard
- Sony SPORTS Walkman
- My house key, attached to a Texas Tech University housing and dining
keychain circa 1989. The little engraved plate has my name on one side and
the words, "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" on the other. This was my father's subtle
way of saying, "GET THE HELL OUT!" after I graduated high school.
- Three Maxell cassette tapes, containing bootleg MP3s for me to enjoy on
campus.
- The Machinery of Freedom by David Friedman, so I can look up a quote about
Standard Oil for some goober in APJ.
- One Visa Check Card
- Promotional flyer for "Lucinda's Spell"
- Hewlett Packard Deskjet 672, running out of paper
- An old butter dish, filled with pennies
- One advance copy of Lucinda's Spell on VHS
- One obsolete nameplate from TTU Physical Plant
- Spiral notebook containing notes for Business and Professional Communication
- One overdue tuition bill
- Empty Double Gulp cup, soon to be filled with Dr. Pepper
- Texas Tech Literary journal "Elysium" published by the TTU Honors college
- Opened Pack of eight Double A batteries, 2 remaining
- 1 Logitech 3-button mouse
- 1 Micron mouse pad, very worn.
- Two large hands, attached to mopey Texan
Michael Jaffo Duff
:AK-47: Can be used to force women to unclothe but only in countries
: where they don't bathe or shave pits and stuff. Like Canada.
I BEG to differ!
I'm sure the AK-47 could be used to unclothe women ANYWHERE -- once.
Jaffo
twi...@sound.net
ja...@jaffo.com (Michael "Jaffo" Duff) wrote:
> On Tue, 12 Oct 1999 00:15:53 -0400, kta...@xensei.com (Karlo Takki)
wrote:
>
> :AK-47: Can be used to force women to unclothe but only in countries
> : where they don't bathe or shave pits and stuff. Like Canada.
>
> I BEG to differ!
>
> I'm sure the AK-47 could be used to unclothe women ANYWHERE -- once.
>
> Jaffo
Well, the joke would be on anyone who tried that with me--
'cause it's TURTLES al the way down!
--Terri
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Noah A Christis
YOUR NOT THINKING ATOL!!!!1!
Podkayne Fries
gives me lots of room to pile junk.
CTX minitower w/17" monitor
Two Furbies, both of which need batteries [1]
A CD holder with about 40 computer and music CDs
A CD boom box
An alarm clock that looks like a PodRacer
A talking JarJar doll with internal alarm clock
Two voodoo dolls that my son bought for me when he was stationed in
Haiti [He buys me the coolest presents!]
Three Smuckers' jelly jars, to hold pencils, pens and markers
A cheap 35MM camera
A four foot tall stack of books recently purchased at an auction
An Altoids tin that I refilled with cough drops
Three purses, all of which need to be emptied and cleaned
A small basket filled with nail polish, emery boards, nail polish
remover and cotton balls
A large stack of bills
A standing file folder with files for current projects
A shoebox full of the letters my son has sent me
A can of compressed air
My checkbook
Dental floss
A yarn coaster that my daughter made me using a hand loom
Four dirty coffee cups
[1] If you hold a Furby upside down, it will have a panic attack.
This is pretty cool in a twisted way. "No! Down, down! Me no like!
Worried! Down, down! AAIEIEIEIE!" The Furby will scream like a girl.
--
Regards, Podkayne Fries
Remember - every time you redirect spam to
Postmaster@host, an angel gets its wings.
Michael Jaffo Duff
:[1] If you hold a Furby upside down, it will have a panic attack.
:This is pretty cool in a twisted way. "No! Down, down! Me no like!
:Worried! Down, down! AAIEIEIEIE!" The Furby will scream like a girl.
This technique also works on Joe Pesci.
Leo Sgouros
Noah A Christis <haon...@my-dejanews.com> wrote in message
news:38035c41....@news.remarq.com...
Thats Wright!
I have one word for youse!
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!
Leo Sgouros
monitor, unknown
keyboard, filthy
motorola cable modem, bitsurfer
box with assorted floppies, conspiracy oriented
cd title-Offspring."Americana"
3 medals, "hero of the soviet union" series(they were in my glovebox, and
now they are sitting here-weird)
plate with flowers on it
2 business cards, numbers scribbled on back
tupperware box filled to the brim with guitar nick nacks, screws, a seymour
duncan pickup, magnetic screwdrivers(3)
one cap that has NITRO COLA logo
Leah Verre
wrote:
>We did this back in 1998, didn't we?
Yes.
>
>~~~~~~ WAVY FLASHBACK LINES ~~~~~~
M3 2 DQQD!!11!!!!!
>
>~~~~~~ WAVY FLASHBACK LINES ~~~~~~
>
>~~~~~~ WAVY FLASHBACK LINES ~~~~~~
>
>~~~~~~ WAVY FLASHBACK LINES ~~~~~~
On 15 May 1998 18:56:34 GMT, lot...@aol.com (Lots42) wrote:
>Stuff that is on my table.
>
>1) A picture of Jennifer Lien.
>
>2) Scissors.
>
>3) A pad of paper with a bunch of sheets stuck together.
>
A bunch of stacking file thingie-whatsits holding 1.999 reems of
amination paper , yellowed and torn on the edges due to the
6-bazillion plants sitting atop them and hanging directly above them.
Eighteen empty coffee cups, all with dried coffee crust on them
somewhere.
47,000 coffee rings
Stuff that is in my tummy:
one gummi bear (pink flavor)
56 cups of coffee, sugar, non-dairy-powdered-fakety-fake-fake creamer
3 bites of a Teriyaki57 bowl from Jack in the Box
Baby alien
THE END.
-L
>~~~~~~ WAVY FLASHBACK LINES ~~~~~~
Not much has changed, except that I now have a filing cabinet for my
yellowed paper. Also, we moved offices and the ceiling is too high to
hang plants.
I think the coffee ring count is up to 80 million now.
And the Teriyaki57 bowl made me hurl.
But the baby alien is coming along nicely.
Paul Blay
--
Poot Rootbeer <po...@dork.com> wrote in message news:8E5D3D86po...@news.mindspring.com...
Not to mine. Maybe you should try it as a gis. ?
Paul "99/06/99 it's not a typo its a Julian slip" Blay
David Pacheco
david_...@lineone.net says...
> HEY! GRATE IDEA! LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE ON *MY* DESK!
> INTERESTING!
>
> will go straight to video in the "Special Offers" bin next to the cash
> registers!
[ snip BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING lists of desk items from EVERYONE ]
Holy crap, sarcasm is just lost on you people, isn't it? Should I use
more smilies?
In other news, I'm very concerned about my cat: you see, he has an ID
chip inserted under his skin, and I have reason to believe that it's not
Y2K-compliant. You see, I tested it by setting the date forward, and he
started barking.
Then I had to reboot him, but I think his BIOS got erased or something,
'cause he doesn't come over when I call him. I tried to insert the BIOS
upgrade floppy disk, but I couldn't and now my arms are covered in
scratch marks and the cat won't come out from under the sofa.
He's been neutered, so he doesn't run NetBIOS any more, but now whenever
I grab him by the tail and swing him around my head, he bluescreens!
What's up with that? Is there a service pack? Does it come in a form
that I can mix with his food? Because if the floppy disk experience is
any indication, I don't think he'll go for the CD.
Anyone else having this problem? I'd hate to wake up on the 1st of
January and be surrounded by dead animals.
Again.
-dp.
I was bitten by a radioactive
millennium bug, which gave me
the power to cause uninformed
media panic AT WILL!
Ranjit Bhatnagar
> In other news, I'm very concerned about my cat: you see, he has an ID
> chip inserted under his skin, and I have reason to believe that it's not
> Y2K-compliant. You see, I tested it by setting the date forward, and he
> started barking.
Perhaps what you have there is a cog. If his coat is bleen,
then you can be certain of it.
r.
--
Get caught red handed!
Don't forget to suggestively sell!
Joseph Michael Bay
>> Then maybe someone will compile all the lists and release a book that
>> will go straight to video in the "Special Offers" bin next to the cash
>> registers!
>[ snip BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING lists of desk items from EVERYONE ]
>Holy crap, sarcasm is just lost on you people, isn't it? Should I use
>more smilies?
You asked for it, you got it. But at least some of the lists
weren't boring. Like mine, where it looks like I don't realize
it but there's some deadly virus excaping into the environment,
so I'm the uninformed audience and you're the informed audience.
Isn't it ironic? Don'tcha think?
>In other news, I'm very concerned about my cat: you see, he has an ID
>chip inserted under his skin, and I have reason to believe that it's not
>Y2K-compliant. You see, I tested it by setting the date forward, and he
>started barking.
I like those microchip inserts; you can remote-detonate your pets.
If you need to.
--
Joseph M. Bay
Department of Molecular Pharmacology
Stanford University
Age 7 (dec'd.)
Dean Lenort
> On Sat, 9 Oct 1999 12:02:17 +0100, david_...@lineone.net (David
> Pacheco) wrote:
>
> >In article <7tkt2k$7mb$1...@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>,
> >cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
> >[ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
> >
> >HEY! GRATE IDEA! LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE ON *MY* DESK!
> > [weird stuff David has on his desk removed from this post]
> >C'MON EVERY BUDY! JOIN IN! THIS STUFF IS FACSI^WFASI^WRILLY
> >INTERESTING!
>
> OKAY.
>
> - death
> - pestulance
> -famine
> -and the other one
> - sorrow
> - longing
> -abandonment
> - grandiosity
> - a bottle of OCD
> - 2 empty canisters of self-loathing
> - 1/27th of David's ego
> - Misplaced anger
> - your fragile sense of self-worth
> - 2 Starbust wrappers
Finally! A list I can relate to. Here's mine.
- 3/4 bottle Cuervo 1800 tequila
- 1/2 bottle Wild Turkey
- 1/3 bottle Cuervo Gold tequila
- 1/6 bottle Glenfiddich Scotch
- 2/3 bottle Captain Morgan spiced rum
- 5/6 bottle Tanqueray gin
- 3/5 bottle Popov Vodka
- 1 bottle Bacardi 151 rum (empty)
- 3 bottles Fuller's ESB (empty)
- 2 bottles Pilsner Urquel (empty)
- 1 Young's Dirty Dick's Ale (empty)
- 1 Hacker Pschorr Oktoberfest (empty)
- 1/54 David's ego (I could put a lot of beer bottles in that space)
- 3 bottles Nega Modelo (empty)
- 2 bottles Bass (empty)
- 1 bottle Spaten Optimator (empty)
- Some computer stuff and other random junk
--
Dean Lenort | Hate is a strong word. It's the right word,
dean....@att.net | but it's still a strong word. - Jaffo
Teg Pipes
> YAAAY! My desk has:
>
> -A bunsen burner
> -A lab notebook
> -A 12 oz container of Gold Shield absolute ethanol
> -A 2 liter graduated cylinder full of TAE buffer
> -An electrophoresis gel box
> -Three containers of recombinant human-infecting viruses sealed with tape
> -A small pool of some kind of reddish-pink liquid
> -Some loose, dried-out tape
> -A "bug-eyed Earl" cartoon from _Red Meat_
> -A desktop centrifuge
Hallway
You are in a Hallway.
There are several Far Side cartoons here, taped to the wall.
There are several items of abandoned lab equpiment, on the floor.
You can go N, S, E, or W.
>W
Laboratory
You are in a laboratory.
There is a post-doc here, playing _Everquest_.
You can go E or W.
>W
Desk
There is a desk here, in front of a window facing West.
You can go E.
>look
Desk
You see nothing spectacular outside.
>look desk
Desk
There is a bunsen burner here.
There is a lab notebook here.
There is a 12 oz container of Gold Shield absolute ethanol here.
There is a 2 liter graduated cylinder full of TAE buffer here.
There is an electrophoresis gel box here.
There are hree containers of recombinant human-infecting viruses sealed with tape here
There is a small pool of some kind of reddish-pink liquid here.
There is some loose, dried-out tape here.
There is a "bug-eyed Earl" cartoon from _Red Meat_ here.
There is a desktop centrifuge here.
>take ethanol
Gold Shield ethanol: taken.
>pour ethanol on desk
You cover the desk, and all of its contents, with ethanol.
A sweet smell fills the room.
>ignite ethanol
You sterilize your desk.
>E
Laboratory.
>pour ethanol on post-doc
You cover the post-doc with ethanol. The post-doc appears not to notice.
>ignite post-doc
You sterilze your post-doc.
>W
Desk.
There is a desk here, on fire.
>apply centrifuge
The flaming centrifuge is not balanced and spins out of control.
It explodes.
Your score was 30 out of a possible 10,000 points.
-Teg
Jim Vandewalker
{
{ Unlike anyone else, I'm going to photograph mine with the cheesy
{ office digital camera and slap it up on the web, so YOU have to
{ do all the work.
{
{ http://www.radix.net/~revjack/office/
{
{ Once again, I have outsmarted everyone!
I went there and looked at that. There were nice views of Jack's desk and
telephone and bulletin board. It looks like he has all his stuff posted
very systematically on his bulletin board, so maybe you could actually say
he has a bulletin board system, or BBS, to coin a TLA.
But I can't believe your fattening pen is ALWAYS that NEAT & TIDY.
--
Jim the Dead Guy
Looking at some strange stuff in MY nerd nook.
Mark Hill
ja...@jaffo.com (Michael "Jaffo" Duff) writes:
> - Opened Pack of eight Double A batteries, 2 remaining
the Hivemind at work again. I was just looking around the house for two
AA batteries. I've got 2 here on my desk, and need 2 more for my camera.
loan me yours? I'll return them quite dead.
Mark Hill
revjack <rev...@radix.net> writes:
> Unlike anyone else, I'm going to photograph mine with the cheesy
> office digital camera and slap it up on the web, so YOU have to
> do all the work.
oh WAAAH. And that was why I was looking for 4 batteries for my camera.
Dammit. You people. I'm going to bed.
David DeLaney
>> Pacheco) wrote:
>> >In article <7tkt2k$7mb$1...@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>,
>> >cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
>> >[ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
>> >
>> >HEY! GRATE IDEA! LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE ON *MY* DESK!
[snip remembrance of things desk]
>> OKAY.
[snip Leah's Big Collection O' Desk Stuff]
[snip Nick at Desk]
I don't haaaaave a desk. This is a taaaable I'm sitting at.
Dave "Waaaaaaah" DeLaney
PS:
> - The Matrix DVD in case
In case? in case of -what-?
> - GPS tracker which shows Ted Frank's position all the time
Oh. Never mind.
--
\/David DeLaney - d...@aesop.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K
David DeLaney
>-Poot
>Does my X-HTML-bomb: header
>actually do anything to
>anyone's newsreader?
No - my friend Paul says you need another header to turn it on. Something
like "Content: text/html". Or something like that, or know anyone who does.
Dave "similarly, my .sig only messes up people reading news thru real -weird-
interfaces" DeLaney
Aaron A.
david_...@lineone.net (David Pacheco) wrote:
> In article <7tkt2k$7mb$1...@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>,
> cha...@uts.cc.utexas.edu writes...
> [ a fascinating, touching account of the items on his desk ]
>
> INTERESTING!
Actually, I've just been moved to someone else's desk, so this is
probably going to wind up as sort of a hybrid of (a) the things I
recently gained in the move and (b) the items I left behind for my
unfortunate successor:
$ Employee schedule for October and November; yes, I have to call in
sick a month in advance.
$ Pez dispensers, 3. Darth Vader, Uncle Sam, and Lucy van Pelt.
$ 10-key calculator with non-operational "4" key.
$ Shred-Stik paper shredder, with which I torment the newbies by
shredding play money.
$ Garbage bin. Little, squarish, brown. Sign above garbage
bin: "Unauthorised Garbage Removal Prohibited", snipped from the Spring
issue of 2600, complete with ped digging through garbage.
$ The Wall of Post-its, a 2' by 1' space, at least 90% covered by
little yellow self-adhesive memos.
$ Class syllabus, Journalism A101.
$ Motorola pager. I have an 800 number for it, so I may someday post
the number to my web page so that bozos from all over the world can
call and interrupt me while leaving obscene voice mails at the same
time. And isn't that what technology is all about?
$ Computer. Pentium 90 mHz, 32 MB RAM, 14" monitor, 1.4 GB hard
drive. If you think that's bad, my last employer had us working on
some little piece of crud that was slow enough to make me envious of my
boss's 386.
$ Various blank vouchers, payment coupons, ect.
$ Slinky. Metal, of course.
$ Notes from staff meetings 3 weeks ago, due on the boss's desk two
weeks ago, found last week, to be typed and turned in some time next
month.
$ Red Bull, one can of.
$ Toner cartridge, wrapped. I think this may be a subtle indication
that the copier needs its toner cartridge replaced. With a Yar's
Revenge cartridge. Har de har.
$ Company merchandise display items: Piggy bank, water bottle, coffee
mug, balsa airplane. All prominently feature the company logo.
$ No chair. The gurlz took all the chairs, and 'cuz I'm the only guy,
I have to be all chivalrous and crap. MY KINGDOM FOR A CHAIR!
> -dp.
> Tell us what's in
> your fridge, too!
- 32 oz. bottle of Jolt cola, 1/3 full.
- two slices of pizza, olive and pineapple.
- Secret cellophane baggy of my roommate's oregano.
- About 1 quart of semi-tolerable Kung Pao chicken, from the loving
kitchens of Sensei Aaron.
- Nine or so cans of Miller Light.
- A similar amount of Heineken.
- Human head, formerly attached to David Hasselhoff.
- Orange juice, half-gallon bottle.
- One mediumish cucumber. It was in the apartment before me, plus it's
all white and fuzzy, so I'm afraid to move it. Rumour has it that they
have a tendency to explode.
--
"I often wet my socks"
-- Archimedes Plutonium,
KING OF SCIENCE!!11!!1!
Michael Jaffo Duff
:
I admire your honesty. Will you pay shipping?
Leah Verre
wrote:
>--
> "I often wet my socks"
> -- Archimedes Plutonium,
> KING OF SCIENCE!!11!!1!
Just don't put em in my DRAWERS!
HAW HAW!
I kill me.
Michael Straight
On Tue, 12 Oct 1999, Michael Jaffo Duff wrote:
> Unlike the rest of "you people," I'm going to tell the TRUTH.
Unlike the rest of "you people," Michael Straight has no desk.
FLEOEVDETYHOEUPROEONREWMEILECSOFMOERSGTIRVAENRGEEARDSTVHIESBIITBTLHEEPSRIACYK
Ethical Mirth Gas/"I'm chaste alright."/Magic Hitler Hats/"Hath grace limits?"
"Tight camel hairs!"/Chili Hamster Tag/The Gilt Charisma/"I gather this calm."
Poot Rootbeer
>Poot Rootbeer <po...@dork.com> wrote:
>>-Poot
>>Does my X-HTML-bomb: header
>>actually do anything to
>>anyone's newsreader?
>
>No - my friend Paul says you need another header to turn it on.
>Something like "Content: text/html". Or something like that, or know
>anyone who does.
Well, I guess that's good--I don't want to break things for EVERYONE whose
newsreader has HTML ability, just the ones whose newsreaders are REALLY
broken.
I don't know if any current readers are that borken yet, so I'll just
inflict that 40 bytes or so on everyone, in preparation for the future.
Thus, all my posts are Y2badnewsreader-compliant.
-Poot
Thanks anyway, Paul.
Louis Nick III
says...
> I like those microchip inserts; you can remote-detonate your pets.
>
> If you need to.
"Okay, Spike, get out of Alex's room. Spike, I'm serious! Get outta
there, Spike, or I'm getting the detonator! Out right now!
Okay, you pushed me to it!"
<BOOM>
<the smell of exploded ass settles into all available surfaces>
--
"Can't you people only steal the brainwaves that AREN'T in the
sarcastic half of my brain?" -James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com>
YOUR WEBSITE HERE! -->
=== Louis Nick III alt.religion.louis-nick sun...@seanet.com ===
Michael Straight
> You asked for it, you got it. But at least some of the lists
> weren't boring. Like mine, where it looks like I don't realize
> it but there's some deadly virus excaping into the environment,
> so I'm the uninformed audience and you're the informed audience.
> Isn't it ironic? Don'tcha think?
On my desktop: No new posts from Lisa Higgins.
Tear drops.
Joe Bay, grow up and stop being so meeen!
SMTIRCAHIAGEHLT
Chris Franks
>
> oh WAAAH. And that was why I was looking for 4 batteries for my camera.
>
> Dammit. You people. I'm going to bed.
Price Costco sells a box of 40 of their "Kirkland" AA batteries for
about $8. They are shrink-wrapped in sets of 4 so they don't short out
against the keys in your pocket. They last fairly well so it is a
good buy at that price. Goodnight.
--
The 21st century starts on 1 January, 2001. Reference:
http://aa.usno.navy.mil/AA/faq/docs/millennium.html or
http://www.rog.nmm.ac.uk/leaflets/new_mill.html
Alex Suter
>jm...@leland.Stanford.EDU says...
>> I like those microchip inserts; you can remote-detonate your pets.
>> If you need to.
>
>"Okay, Spike, get out of Alex's room. Spike, I'm serious! Get outta
>there, Spike, or I'm getting the detonator! Out right now!
>Okay, you pushed me to it!"
>
><BOOM>
><the smell of exploded ass settles into all available surfaces>
You don't need a detonator for that, or rather, each rabbit
comes with his or her own detonator that is set off with
amazing frequency, and each bomb is a stink bomb, except for
the ones that are really chocolate covered coffee beans.
"Bock-bock-bock-bock-bock-bock-bacawk!"
"Ewww."
--
Alex Suter - http://world.std.com/~asuter/ - "I feel like the next contestant."
eric...@my-deja.com
Eric
> - 3/4 bottle Cuervo 1800 tequila
> - 1/2 bottle Wild Turkey
> - 1/3 bottle Cuervo Gold tequila
> - 1/6 bottle Glenfiddich Scotch
> - 2/3 bottle Captain Morgan spiced rum
> - 5/6 bottle Tanqueray gin
> - 3/5 bottle Popov Vodka
> - 1 bottle Bacardi 151 rum (empty)
> - 3 bottles Fuller's ESB (empty)
> - 2 bottles Pilsner Urquel (empty)
> - 1 Young's Dirty Dick's Ale (empty)
> - 1 Hacker Pschorr Oktoberfest (empty)
> - 1/54 David's ego (I could put a lot of beer bottles in that space)
> - 3 bottles Nega Modelo (empty)
> - 2 bottles Bass (empty)
> - 1 bottle Spaten Optimator (empty)
> - Some computer stuff and other random junk
> --
> Dean Lenort | Hate is a strong word. It's the right word,
> dean....@att.net | but it's still a strong word. - Jaffo
>