My brain has found a new way to torture me
Lots42
me at night. Now it has decided that I will wake up with songs stuck in my
head. Stupid brain.
--
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to
stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile,
but is morally treasonable to the American public. (Theodore Roosevelt)
David DeLaney
>My brain has become tired with stupid pointless nightmares as a way to torture
>me at night. Now it has decided that I will wake up with songs stuck in my
>head. Stupid brain.
Do you wake up vocalizing them, or just with them running around and around
inside there? (If the latter, try letting them escape IN THE SHOWER, that's
what it's for, right?)
Dave "gonna rise up singin'" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
talysman
> Pfft. Last night I had a dream in which Chris Rock did this hilarious
> comedy bit about how white guys put deodorant all over their backs.
their own backs, presumably.
"just t'other day, I be walkin' down the sidewalk, mindin' my own
biddness, when SUDDENLY this big scary white dood leaps outta the
alleyway and smears ban roll-on all over my back! now, WHAT IS UP
WIT DAT?"
> White guys' usual technique is spreading the deodorant all over the
> wall and then rolling their backs against the wall.
they had to start doing this after the religious right forced all
the deodorant bath-houses to shut down.
> Also, it turns
> out that Shrek was a white guy who turned green because his back was
> too big to cover with deodorant.
but he was really happy about it until one day he died from
<VOICEOVER> "gangrene".
> IA, it must be said, NMTU.
^^^^
you misspelled "Shub-Niggurath".
HTH.
Matt McIrvin
man...@world.std.com (Joe Manfre) wrote:
> Pfft. Last night I had a dream in which Chris Rock did this hilarious
> comedy bit about how white guys put deodorant all over their backs.
> White guys' usual technique is spreading the deodorant all over the
> wall and then rolling their backs against the wall. Also, it turns
> out that Shrek was a white guy who turned green because his back was
> too big to cover with deodorant. IA, it must be said, NMTU.
1. I was a high-ranking Nazi Party member in Nazi Germany. But it was
OK, because it wasn't the real Nazi Germany, it was a musical parody by
Mel Brooks, and Hitler was obviously really Mel Brooks in hat and
mustache. Also, everyone wore shiny black plastic body armor. And the
walls were covered with recursive fractal decorations made of nested
swastikas. And I assured myself that it was all hilarious because it
was Mel Brooks.
2. I was wandering around town and came upon a ceremony to welcome the
royal family of an asteroid. The ancestors of these people had once
lived on a Pacific island, which was knocked off into space by a
meteoroid impact 14,000 years ago, and somehow these people managed to
survive both the impact and the exposure to vacuum and lived on it as a
free-flying asteroid. Recently the asteroid was discovered by
astronomers and the inhabitants rescued by American spacecraft and
allowed to settle in a new homeland in Massachusetts. There was much
pomp and pageantry associated with their arrival, and the asteroid
king wore a long ermine robe. The name of the asteroid was Kinakuta,
which my brain had stolen from a country that Neal Stephenson made up
for the novel _Cryptonomicon_. I remember being disappointed when I
realized that on waking.
--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
Jacob W. Haller
Charles from a volcano. Advantage: ME!
-jwgh
--
"PS. Please take note of the fact that, in conformity with the
regulations of this office, all information contained in the above
letter is false, for reasons of military security."
- Umberto Eco, /How to Travel with a Salmon & Other Essays/
Joe Manfre
>The name of the asteroid was Kinakuta, which my brain had stolen from
>a country that Neal Stephenson made up for the novel _Cryptonomicon_.
>I remember being disappointed when I realized that on waking.
By the way, I know it sounded like in my dream my brane had mixed up
Chris Rock with Eddie Murphy (who did the voice of Shrek's donkey
sidekick), but it was actually something like Chris Rock was doing a
surrealist segue to the Shrek reference to add to the humor, Kibo-
style. I remember thinking it was pretty clever during the dream, in
which (I neglected to mention this before) I was another comedian who
was supposed to be performing after Chris Rock but couldn't, because
apparently I was supposed to be doing the "white guy's perspective" as
part of some kind of "edgy" comedy thing that Chris Rock or someone
had organized, but I couldn't figure out how to do it without either
sounding like a racist (too "edgy") or sounding like a doofus (not
"edgy" enough).
JM
Whose TITAN Elbow
berichtnieuws...news:mmcirvin-61CEAB.21452125112002@localhost:
> 2. I was wandering around town and came upon a ceremony to welcome the
> royal family of an asteroid.
McIrving is le Petit Prince!
--
``Although xylitol has a relatively long organic chemical history, the
first half of this century was rather eventless from xylitol's point of
view...'' -- Professor Kauko K. Mäkinen
talysman
> Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com>schreef in
> berichtnieuws...news:mmcirvin-61CEAB.21452125112002@localhost:
>
> > 2. I was wandering around town and came upon a ceremony to welcome the
> > royal family of an asteroid.
>
> McIrving is le Petit Prince!
which, translated into english, would be "Prince Petty".
that's not nice, mister elbow!
unless you are comparing him to tom petty. that's not very
nice, either, but at least he would be RICH.
Whose TITAN Elbow
berichtnieuws...news:wky97hq...@globalsurrealism.com:
>> McIrving is le Petit Prince!
>
> which, translated into english, would be "Prince Petty".
NO!!!!!! I'm referring to the kid that lived on the asteroid and stuff.
Rose Marie Holt
Whose TITAN Elbow <crgre02...@newsguy.com> wrote:
> talysman <taly...@globalsurrealism.com>schreef in
> berichtnieuws...news:wky97hq...@globalsurrealism.com:
>
> >> McIrving is le Petit Prince!
> >
> > which, translated into english, would be "Prince Petty".
>
> NO!!!!!! I'm referring to the kid that lived on the asteroid and stuff.
I have a hankerin for Baobab.
talysman
Ben Wolfson
> oh, I'm sorry. LUOG!
Yeah, Whitey! Lurk up ornery goats!!!
--
I certainly seem to be enjoying myself in the same way, smacking my
lips, sighing and moaning, dripping [REDACTED] on my shirt and
smearing it into my moustache ... But ... If I snuck a lick of your
cone, I wouldn't smack my lips. -- Ted Cohen
Stephenls
> McIrving is le Petit Prince!
Thank you, Mr. Titan Elbow, for helping me to remember the existence of
that book.
--
Stephenls
Geek
I have the coolest Hell in gaming. -Geoffrey C. Grabowski
Pugg
[Da-da dada-da-DAH! Wacky puppet comedian Fozzy Kontext-Away sprays
away superfluous context with a giant seltzer bottle. Eh? Ehhhhh?]
>And I assured myself that it was all hilarious because it was Mel Brooks.
[Boooooooo! The crowd heckles Fozzy Kontext-Away off the stage! Wakka
wakka wakka! <SFX: kazoo flourish>]
Y'know, Matt, I have to do the same thing for my parents every time we
watch a Mel Brooks movie together.
It's *okay* Mom, it's *funny*.
pugg
--
Bryce Utting
> My brain has become tired with stupid pointless nightmares as a way
> to torture me at night. Now it has decided that I will wake up with
> songs stuck in my head. Stupid brain.
if you truly belonged at the cool table, you'd know whose brain lives
at the back of her head, wants wants wants, and is of no use at all.
and is male, of course.
so now *I'm* gonna go to bed (well, ok, I'm here already) wondering
why my brain is calling me "babydoll". your fault.
butting
Eli M. Balin
Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> wrote:
>In article <slrnau5e1c.2...@shell01.TheWorld.com>,
> man...@world.std.com (Joe Manfre) wrote:
[dreams]
I am simultaneously myself and a barbarian warrior, or a barbarian warrior
has taken over half of my brain, and I'm in a museum somewhere in Germany.
The only exhibits seem to be a pipe organ, a 1/1000 scale model of an
alpine village (populated with 1/1000 scale live humans, at which I throw
wadded up bits of paper) and a large unreadable book on a raised lectern.
Whenever I try to approach one of the exhibits for a closer look, an alarm
goes off (triggered by my walking over an apparently random point on the
floor), followed by several more alarms elsewhere in the building.
Discouraged by this, I wander into the next room, where I spend a few
minutes fiddling with the Babbage Engine controlled radio.
Suddenly, I am crossing the lobby of my apartment building (which is
filled with high school students). I open my mailbox to find it filled
(in addition to the usual pile of catalogs) with baked goods. I take them
back to my apartment, where a total stranger tells me about a Japanese
poet who relinquished the consumption of baked goods (for reasons I cannot
currently recall). This, in turn, prompts one of my co-workers to enter a
lengthy explanation of how Japanese children are taught how to curse.
I then awaken, greatly bewildered.
--
elib...@panix.com http://www.panix.com/~elibalin/
Chris ''Koala3K'' Slat
lot...@aol.comaol.com (Lots42) wrote:
> My brain has become tired with stupid pointless nightmares as a way to torture
> me at night. Now it has decided that I will wake up with songs stuck in my
> head. Stupid brain.
I've had that damn Weezer song stuck in my head all day-e-ay.
--Chris "Koala3K" Slat
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Don't forget... your lucky deck!"
--Jack Palance to Jack Nicholson in "Batman"
(best movie quote ever)
-----------------------------------------------------------
http://my.tdi.net/~cslat
Beable van Polasm
>
> so now *I'm* gonna go to bed (well, ok, I'm here already) wondering
> why my brain is calling me "babydoll". your fault.
BUTTING (if that IS his REAL name!!) HAS A COMPUTERISED BED!!
Don't get it "WET" or it'll SHORT OUT!! IYKWIM AITYD!!!
--
cheers
Beable van Polasm
Perl 6 will give you the big knob. -- Larry Wall
http://beable.com
Lots42
>This, in turn, prompts one of my co-workers to enter a
>lengthy explanation of how Japanese children are taught how to curse.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
They throw a bucketfull of silverware down the stairs. Ching! Chang! CHONG!
I'm going to hell now
Bryce Utting
>> so now *I'm* gonna go to bed (well, ok, I'm here already) wondering
>> why my brain is calling me "babydoll". your fault.
>
> BUTTING (if that IS his REAL name!!) HAS A COMPUTERISED BED!!
> Don't get it "WET" or it'll SHORT OUT!! IYKWIM AITYD!!!
I *knew* I should have taken my laptop into last night's clothing-
optional spa and posted. feh.
butting
Jorn Barger
racing down a giant waterslide (themepark tie-in!) in a whale-
shaped ark (ark tie-in!), confident of a happy ending against
all odds, but when we got dropped off at the end one of the sons
said, "How do we know we're still in the right universe?" so we
went outside to check that the sun was the same.
It was on the horizon, and the right size, so we breathed a sigh
of relief... just as it started zooming backwards across the sky.
Looking up I saw hundreds of moons of various phases (crescent,
full, etc) cut and pasted onto the sky to form letters and words
(spooky like 'Surrender Dorothy' but not quite readable).
We ran back to the door to search for a way back to right universe,
but it had been locked, and thru the glass we saw the Disney-family
daughter shake her head sadly and turn to go.
(Hopefully someone has the sequel all mapped out...?)
David DeLaney
>I just woke up from a 60s Disney family adventure where we were
>racing down a giant waterslide (themepark tie-in!) in a whale-
>shaped ark (ark tie-in!), confident of a happy ending against
>all odds, but when we got dropped off at the end one of the sons
>said, "How do we know we're still in the right universe?" so we
>went outside to check that the sun was the same.
I think I've figured out one thing about my dreams. The ones where I'm
wandering around in the library are okay. The ones where I'm somewhere
else and have taken my library, in toto, with me and am now trying to
figure out how to get it back (with attendant wacky car-dyings and stuff)
are a sign I've actually been asleep too long and should WAKE UP and attack
a new day and stuff. One of the features of my days off recently has been
LOTS OF SLEEP because I'm not really getting enough on my days non-off...
>It was on the horizon, and the right size, so we breathed a sigh
>of relief... just as it started zooming backwards across the sky.
>Looking up I saw hundreds of moons of various phases (crescent,
>full, etc)
Moonington Crescent?
>cut and pasted onto the sky to form letters and words
>(spooky like 'Surrender Dorothy' but not quite readable).
Well of course not, you were dreaming.
>(Hopefully someone has the sequel all mapped out...?)
Dave "the first time I read that it said something about an angel being
stepped on, WAH!" DeLaney
Beable van Polasm
>
> I think I've figured out one thing about my dreams. The ones where
> I'm wandering around in the library are okay. The ones where I'm
> somewhere else and have taken my library, in toto, with me and am
> now trying to figure out how to get it back (with attendant wacky
> car-dyings and stuff)
Lots42? Is that you? Or is it Don?
> are a sign I've actually been asleep too long and should WAKE UP and
> attack a new day and stuff. One of the features of my days off
> recently has been LOTS OF SLEEP because I'm not really getting
> enough on my days non-off...
What I worked out is that if I get too warm, like by having excessive
blanketage, then I start having bad dreams. And then I wake up and go
"Phew! It sure is HOT in here!".
Jeremy Impson
[...]
> It was on the horizon, and the right size, so we breathed a sigh
> of relief... just as it started zooming backwards across the sky.
> Looking up I saw hundreds of moons of various phases (crescent,
> full, etc) cut and pasted onto the sky to form letters and words
> (spooky like 'Surrender Dorothy' but not quite readable).
>
> We ran back to the door to search for a way back to right universe,
> but it had been locked, and thru the glass we saw the Disney-family
> daughter shake her head sadly and turn to go.
>
> (Hopefully someone has the sequel all mapped out...?)
Did anyone ever see a short-lived Tee Vee show called "Otherworld" (1985)?
It was sort of like this. I'm pretty sure this is the name, because I
remember getting excited when I thought I saw it listed in the TV guide
during the day or some time other then when it was usually on, but I was
confusing it with the "Another World" soap opera.
IMDB says (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0088587):
Thrown into another dimension, a family must keep ahead of a
tyrannical state's hunters while searching for a way home.
--Jeremy
--
Jeremy Impson
jdim...@acm.org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson
talysman
> On 28 Nov 2002, Jorn Barger wrote:
>
> [...]
>
> > It was on the horizon, and the right size, so we breathed a sigh
> > of relief... just as it started zooming backwards across the sky.
> > Looking up I saw hundreds of moons of various phases (crescent,
> > full, etc) cut and pasted onto the sky to form letters and words
> > (spooky like 'Surrender Dorothy' but not quite readable).
> >
> > We ran back to the door to search for a way back to right universe,
> > but it had been locked, and thru the glass we saw the Disney-family
> > daughter shake her head sadly and turn to go.
> >
> > (Hopefully someone has the sequel all mapped out...?)
>
> Did anyone ever see a short-lived Tee Vee show called "Otherworld" (1985)?
> It was sort of like this. I'm pretty sure this is the name, because I
> remember getting excited when I thought I saw it listed in the TV guide
> during the day or some time other then when it was usually on, but I was
> confusing it with the "Another World" soap opera.
I vaguely recall seeing five minutes of it. I sort of avoided it,
because the science fictional aspect of it (travelling to another
universe) lasted all of five minutes, and wasn't the five minutes I
saw -- which makes it less science fictional than "quantum leap",
which AT LEAST had al as a hologram in almost every episode except
the one where al and sam switch bodies and the last episode where
nothing made sense.
"otherworld" seemed a lot less science fictiony than "fantastic
journey" in which everyone from every time period is trapped in
the bermuda triangle, including a man with a telepathic fork.
it also seemed a lot less science fictionoid than "sliders", in
which we got to see quinn's head become more and more bizarre and
sci-fi channel decided to ruin the series by coming up with the
theory that quinn and his identical twin hick brother from another
world were actually children of a superadvanced race that was under
attack by time-travelling neanderthals.
you know what *hasn't* been done? a science fiction series about
people who can travel to parallel universes and it's completely
under their control, so all the drama comes from what they find
rather than a "lost in space"/"the fugitive" metaplot.
Beable van Polasm
> Jeremy Impson <jdim...@acm.org> writes:
> >
> > Did anyone ever see a short-lived Tee Vee show called "Otherworld"
> > (1985)? It was sort of like this. I'm pretty sure this is the
> > name, because I remember getting excited when I thought I saw it
> > listed in the TV guide during the day or some time other then when
> > it was usually on, but I was confusing it with the "Another World"
> > soap opera.
>
> "otherworld" seemed a lot less science fictiony than "fantastic
> journey" in which everyone from every time period is trapped in the
> bermuda triangle, including a man with a telepathic fork.
Oh boy, you sure are confused. "Fantastic Journey" was about two dogs
and a cat who got lost when their owners moved to the other side of
the country, and then they walked all the way from New York to
California to find them again. With lots of wacky adventures of
course. The bit I didn't get about "Fantastic Journey" was why did the
owners let their pets get lost when they moved house? The answer of
course is that it was a DISNEY movie, in which adults are always
irresponsible at best, or maniacally criminal in the typical movie.
talysman
you, sir, are insanes!
"fantastic journey", if you do a google search, is ...
A PINBALL GAME!
ok, that makes no sense. but if I google for "fanastic journey tv"
up pops info on this late-70s scifi show:
> http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-2907/
the guy in the lower right, jared martin, played varian, the guy
with the telepathic fork. one guy I keep forgetting about is the
character of dr. jonathan willaway, played by roddy mcdowall. this
may be because my brane insists on believing that he played a robot
name ROM in "logan's run", but since he didn't, I have erased one
of his actual roles from my memory.
actually, I do remember some things about willoway. he wore a lot
of leather jackets, like many other wealthy scientists from the '60s.
and also, he was conceited.
here are the exact same characters in an almost identical photo,
but with roddy mcdowall about to pounce:
> http://www.pipozor.com/pipozor/subjects/tvseries/fantastic_journey/index.htm
you will note that this page is FRENCH! even the french know of
this thing, of which you are the ignorant! the goats, they march
again!
Culturally Sensitive Ed
>>This, in turn, prompts one of my co-workers to enter a
>>lengthy explanation of how Japanese children are taught how to curse.
>How do Chinese parents name their children?
>They throw a bucketfull of silverware down the stairs. Ching! Chang! CHONG!
>I'm going to hell now
No, should be recoginzed by the archealogical community for
unearthing such an ancient and timelessly tasteless joke.
---
* Culturally Sensitive Ed *
"You'd fight and you were right but they were just too strong.
They'd stick it in your face and let you smell what they consider wrong."
- Filter