Not like you care or nuthin

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L. Shelton Bumgarner

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Jul 31, 1997, 3:00:00 AM7/31/97
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Tomorrow I'm going to experience the single scarcest event of my life
(other than a few rollercosters I've regretfully been on): I'm getting
all four of my wisdom teeth out.

I'm going to be pumped up with a combination of Sodium Pentothal,
laughing gas and valium. (Guess I'm going to be telling the truth
while laughing in a really laid back way.) I'm glad they're not going
to actually put me under because I read just a little while ago where
some little kid died because the guy in control of such things fell
asleep at the wheel, as it were.)

I'm sure everything will work out fine, but if it doesn't and I go
into a coma or something, I just want Usenet to know I've had fun.

lee
If ever there was a sign I, like, have no life this is it.

--
L. Shelton Bumgarner -- Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
[Please remove "REMOVETHIS" from my email to respond to my posts]
Nattering Nabob of Negativism * http://www.nottowayez.net/~leebum

Lance Olkovick

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Aug 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/1/97
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smt...@bcvms.bc.edu (Sean Smith) wrote:
>lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net says...

>>Tomorrow I'm going to experience the single scarcest event of my life
>>(other than a few rollercosters I've regretfully been on): I'm getting
>>all four of my wisdom teeth out.

The problem is all in your mind. You should watch that old Star Trek
episode where Spock has to do a mind meld with Kirk, Scotty, and Bones
before they go into a shoot out at the OK Corral. Spock tells them if
they have no fear, the bullets won't hurt them. In the same way, your
fear can harm you only if you let it. The biggest danger with having
wisdom teeth pulled is that dentists always sexually molest you while
you're under the anaesthetic.

>>I'm going to be pumped up with a combination of Sodium Pentothal,
>>laughing gas and valium. (Guess I'm going to be telling the truth
>>while laughing in a really laid back way.)

Tell the dentist you want helium and xenon too: then when you laugh,
you'll sound like Woody Woodpecker and Satan.

>>I'm sure everything will work out fine, but if it doesn't and I go
>>into a coma or something, I just want Usenet to know I've had fun.

Even if you do go into a coma, you can still keep posting to Usenet --
everyone else does.

>I wish I could say "I feel your pain" and truly mean it, LSB, but
>fact is I've never had my wisdom teeth out.

>What's more, I've never even had any wisdom teeth. Period.

>Yup, my dentists have over the years searched high and low for any evidence
>of wisdom teeth in my mouth, and they've found bugger all.

Me too, although it's hard to tell with my jumbled dentition. When my
dentist first examined my teeth, he said it looked like my mouth was
playing a game of Yahtzee. So I stabbed him in the ass with the dirty
needle I use to crank scag.

>Now, someone (might've even been one of the dentists) once told me that
>scientific theory sez in another millenium or so, no one will ever have wisdom
>teeth ever again. Which seemed to imply that I and other non-wisdom teethers
>are the advance guard of a future evolutionary stage of the human race. I've
>hesitated to make this too well-known, on the off-chance that one night I
>might be shunted off to some institute where I'd be examined to determine
>whether I possess secret powers. Then the neighbors might start coming round and
>ask me to revive their dead gerbil or levitate their new satellite dish up on
>top of their roof.

>All I can say is, if I do represent a next step along the evolutionary pathway,
>then I hope the step after me is better at matching colors.

Teeth undergo rapid morphological genetic variations under changing
selective conditions. After a few generations of 1 minute oatmeal and
microwave lasagna, I doubt humans will have anything more than two
incisors for tearing open potato chip bags.

Janice Lawrence

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Aug 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/1/97
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lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net (L. Shelton Bumgarner) wrote:

>
>Tomorrow I'm going to experience the single scarcest event of my life
>(other than a few rollercosters I've regretfully been on): I'm getting
>all four of my wisdom teeth out.
>

>I'm going to be pumped up with a combination of Sodium Pentothal,
>laughing gas and valium. (Guess I'm going to be telling the truth

>while laughing in a really laid back way.) I'm glad they're not going
>to actually put me under because I read just a little while ago where
>some little kid died because the guy in control of such things fell
>asleep at the wheel, as it were.)
>

>I'm sure everything will work out fine, but if it doesn't and I go
>into a coma or something, I just want Usenet to know I've had fun.
>

>lee
>If ever there was a sign I, like, have no life this is it.
>
>--
>L. Shelton Bumgarner -- Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
>[Please remove "REMOVETHIS" from my email to respond to my posts]
>Nattering Nabob of Negativism * http://www.nottowayez.net/~leebum

Hey, I dunno, it sounds pretty cool to me. Actually, I had all 4 of my
wisdom teeth out, and it was so anticlimactic that I don't even
remember it. So relax -- it'll all be over before you know it.

-sofi

Christopher Dye

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Aug 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/1/97
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Janice Lawrence (sofi...@mindspring.com) wrote:
: lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net (L. Shelton Bumgarner) wrote:

: >I'm going to be pumped up with a combination of Sodium Pentothal,


: >laughing gas and valium. (Guess I'm going to be telling the truth
: >while laughing in a really laid back way.) I'm glad they're not going
: >to actually put me under because I read just a little while ago where
: >some little kid died because the guy in control of such things fell
: >asleep at the wheel, as it were.)
: >
: >I'm sure everything will work out fine, but if it doesn't and I go
: >into a coma or something, I just want Usenet to know I've had fun.

I was pretty freaked in advance of my wisdom tooth extraction, but I
let them use the same combo on me and I was in and out in an hour
and getting around, bleeding all over the place and eating Ben and
Jerry's. You'll be fine, trust me :-)

Seeya!

Chris


--
Christopher B. Dye "UFO's may be involved!! and probably
cb...@blarg.net VEGETARIANISM!!" - Zippy (07/30/97)
www.pixi.com/~cbdye KC5YGP/7 [ENTP]

Bruce H. McIntosh

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Aug 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/1/97
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On Thu, 31 Jul 1997, L. Shelton Bumgarner wrote:
> Tomorrow I'm going to experience the single scarcest event of my life
> (other than a few rollercosters I've regretfully been on): I'm getting
> all four of my wisdom teeth out.
>
> I'm going to be pumped up with a combination of Sodium Pentothal,
> laughing gas and valium. (Guess I'm going to be telling the truth
> while laughing in a really laid back way.)

Gazooks, was it *really* 17 years ago? (*age induced shudder*) Had all
four of mine out, but only *after* they came in sideways and blew away
$1200.00 of orthodontic work :-). My dentist initially thought I only had
two coming in, on the bottom. The little square of xray film that he
stuffed into my mouth didn't show any upper wisdom teeth. Just to be
sure, tho, the surgeon took a skull xray, and lo and behold, I *did* have
uppers too. He asked, and I opted to get all of 'em yanked at once. He
put me under with sodium pentothal. I remember counting back from 99, 98,
97... and waking up on a cot half an hour later. Kept having to go back
and have little bone chips tweezed out of the holes, and living on soup
and milk shakes for a week was a bit of a drag.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bruce H. McIntosh scot...@afn.org http://www.afn.org/~scotsman

Parental unit (Amanda Marie 1/5/94, Laura Elizabeth 11/14/96)
Minstrel(guitar) Ferroequinologist (HO)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I stand on ground / I've walked before / To seek the way


Vince Profit

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Aug 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/1/97
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Janice Lawrence wrote:

>
> lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net (L. Shelton Bumgarner) wrote:
>
> >
> >Tomorrow I'm going to experience the single scarcest event of my life
> >(other than a few rollercosters I've regretfully been on): I'm getting
> >all four of my wisdom teeth out.
> >
> >I'm going to be pumped up with a combination of Sodium Pentothal,
> >laughing gas and valium. (Guess I'm going to be telling the truth
> >while laughing in a really laid back way.) I'm glad they're not going
> >to actually put me under because I read just a little while ago where
> >some little kid died because the guy in control of such things fell
> >asleep at the wheel, as it were.)
> >
> >I'm sure everything will work out fine, but if it doesn't and I go
> >into a coma or something, I just want Usenet to know I've had fun.
> >
> >lee
> >If ever there was a sign I, like, have no life this is it.
> >
> >--
> >L. Shelton Bumgarner -- Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
> >[Please remove "REMOVETHIS" from my email to respond to my posts]

You could say my case was a little freakish. I had 5 wisdom teeth on top
and 2 on the bottom. I had them all extracted in one sitting with a
local anesthetic. Three day later I was back to work. So quit being
such a baby...:}

Good luck

Vince

Stephen Tanner

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Aug 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/2/97
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On Fri, 01 Aug 1997 02:05:23 GMT, sofi...@mindspring.com (Janice
Lawrence) wrote:

>lee...@REMOVETHIS.nottowayez.net (L. Shelton Bumgarner) wrote:

>>I'm sure everything will work out fine, but if it doesn't and I go
>>into a coma or something, I just want Usenet to know I've had fun.

>Hey, I dunno, it sounds pretty cool to me. Actually, I had all 4 of my


>wisdom teeth out, and it was so anticlimactic that I don't even
>remember it. So relax -- it'll all be over before you know it.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That didn't sound 100% encouraging to me. After all, the guy's
starting to have some grave doubts about this whole undertaking.

--
Stephen Will Tanner (tan...@aros.net)
"C'mon, fuckers: MMMMMM...TASTY POISON! YUMMIES!"
--Teg Pipes

Thanatos

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Aug 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/2/97
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Vince Profit wrote:

> You could say my case was a little freakish. I had 5 wisdom teeth on top
> and 2 on the bottom. I had them all extracted in one sitting with a
> local anesthetic. Three day later I was back to work. So quit being
> such a baby...:}

You must be really wise. Actually, you are the first person outside my
family that I have heard of having extra teeth. I had to have two
extra sets of front teeth removed when I was a kid. A cousin of mine
grew a neat set of fangs (extra teeth too).

jason m. laughman

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Aug 4, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/4/97
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On Fri, 01 Aug 1997 00:09:21 GMT, Lance Olkovick <lolk...@sfu.ca> wrote:
>
>Me too, although it's hard to tell with my jumbled dentition. When my
>dentist first examined my teeth, he said it looked like my mouth was
>playing a game of Yahtzee. So I stabbed him in the ass with the dirty
>needle I use to crank scag.

I found that so insanely funny I just wanted to see it again. Funny
enough to be my first ever .sig, even.

LANCE WINS!

--

When my dentist first examined my teeth, he said it looked like my mouth
was playing a game of Yahtzee. So I stabbed him in the ass with the dirty

needle I use to crank scag.--Lance Olkovick in alt.religion.kibology

Matt McIrvin

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Aug 5, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/5/97
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Thanatos <rrrrN...@tiac.net> wrote:

> Vince Profit wrote:
>
> > You could say my case was a little freakish. I had 5 wisdom teeth on top

> > and 2 on the bottom.[...]


>
> You must be really wise. Actually, you are the first person outside my
> family that I have heard of having extra teeth. I had to have two
> extra sets of front teeth removed when I was a kid. A cousin of mine
> grew a neat set of fangs (extra teeth too).

My teeth were *all* wisdom teeth, and they were all growing sideways
with adjacent teeth pointing toward each other! Instead of extracting
them, they wired them to my brainstem and I use all of that extra
processing power to execute Photoshop plug-ins. They kept them from
impacting by implanting Styrofoam peanuts. They were going to use
Envirofil but it would just dissolve from all of the nuclear saliva. Now
the peanuts squeak whenever I eat but it's OK because obviously unlike
you people, my extra wisdom gives me the need for the simplicity of
play, and the power to say "Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n' Fruity."

--
Font-o-Meter! Proportional Monospaced
^
Physics, humor, Stanislaw Lem reviews: http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/

Zak Smith

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Aug 7, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/7/97
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On Thu, 07 Aug 1997 14:42:28 GMT, E.Holmes <eho...@onramp.net> wrote:
>/are basically just going to pull and pry until they are out -- get
>/a local and stay awake. It is a very interesting feeling!
>
> I'm quite sure that defenestration is a very interesting feeling,
> too. However, I believe that I'll manage quite well without adding
> the experience to my roster, thank you.

So I guess the question is: if you are going to be thrown out a window,
do you want to get a local and experience it, or do it unconscious?

Actually, I was serious. There was no pain in the procedure, and
it was intriguing. I am not sick.

-z

--
# Zak Smith smi...@cae.wisc.edu (pgp) http://www.cae.wisc.edu/~smithz
# UW-Madison CAE UnixStaff EE/CS DigiGeek "Who is John Galt?"
# I often mistake my hands for food.

Chris Moorehead

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Aug 7, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/7/97
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eho...@onramp.net (E.Holmes) wrote:

>On 6 Aug 1997 21:53:07 GMT, smi...@newsparc.cae.wisc.edu (Zak Smith) wrote:
>
>/Regarding wisdom tooth extraction: If you do not need surgery (ie,
>/you are just going to a dentist and not an oral surgeon) and they


>/are basically just going to pull and pry until they are out -- get
>/a local and stay awake. It is a very interesting feeling!
>
> I'm quite sure that defenestration is a very interesting feeling,

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


> too. However, I believe that I'll manage quite well without adding
> the experience to my roster, thank you.

Hooray...someone has finally used one of my favourite words in the
English language! (The others are 'absquatulate', 'micturate' &
'sputum'...)

chris


Christopher James Moorehead
Toronto, Canada
moor...@interlog.com
--
While ours may be an age that requires goodness, it is regrettably an age that respects
violence more. Even the meek bank clerk sitting at his desk harbours the vilest criminal
thoughts --thoughts he does not dare act upon. If such thoughts could be made into deeds
instantaneously, our gleaming cities would run red with blood overnight.

- Crad Kilodney,
Extremely Famous Author

Anders Vad Bruun

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Aug 13, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/13/97
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Denmark (which is where I live, you know, the capital of Scandinavia) has
a dental plan for all under 18s, so when I had the chance to have my two
lower molars removed a bit early and save some 1500-2000 $, I went for
it. The dentist told me that I might be a bit sore, but there should be
no harm in singing in the opening show of the musical I starred in that
night. Yep, was a bit sore. And in the grand finale where I was singing
my heart out to the beautiful girl in front of me, the stitches tore and
blood spurted out of my mouth, all over her. The great lovescene turned
into a splattermovie from hell. I never quite got over that.

--
Anders Vad Bruun / nor...@nmr.dk

"Galvanisation. Fotolabors. Also alle m”glichen aggresiven
Fl ssigkeiten."
(Kai Fett)

Katrin

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Aug 14, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/14/97
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On Wed, 13 Aug 1997 12:17:46 -0700, Anders Vad Bruun
<nordvik@remove_this.nmr.dk> wrote:

>The dentist told me that I might be a bit sore, but there should be
>no harm in singing in the opening show of the musical I starred in that
>night. Yep, was a bit sore. And in the grand finale where I was singing
>my heart out to the beautiful girl in front of me, the stitches tore and
>blood spurted out of my mouth, all over her. The great lovescene turned
>into a splattermovie from hell. I never quite got over that.

Now *there's* a great one to send to The Onion's "Pathetic Geek
Stories"!

Anders Vad Bruun

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Aug 19, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/19/97
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Daniel Schunneman UNX wrote:
>
> Anders Vad Bruun (nordvik@remove_this.nmr.dk) wrote:
> : Denmark (which is where I live, you know, the capital of Scandinavia) has

> : a dental plan for all under 18s, so when I had the chance to have my two
> : lower molars removed a bit early and save some 1500-2000 $, I went for
> : it. The dentist told me that I might be a bit sore, but there should be

> : no harm in singing in the opening show of the musical I starred in that
> : night. Yep, was a bit sore. And in the grand finale where I was singing
> : my heart out to the beautiful girl in front of me, the stitches tore and
> : blood spurted out of my mouth, all over her. The great lovescene turned
> : into a splattermovie from hell. I never quite got over that.
>
> But did _she_ get off on it?

Depends on what you mean by "off". No, she did not tear off my clothes
and made mad, passionate love to me on stage. She very sweetly endured
the entire scene and after taking our bows, when we were backstage she
yelled at me for ruining her dress.

--
Anders Vad Bruun / nor...@nmr.dk

Instant Party: Just add water.
"Galvanisation. Fotolabors. Also alle möglichen aggresiven
Flüssigkeiten."
(Kai Fett)

peh...@mail.tm.net.my

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Aug 22, 1997, 3:00:00 AM8/22/97
to

On a spam new day, Thanatos <rrrrN...@tiac.net> postulated:

>> You could say my case was a little freakish. I had 5 wisdom teeth on top

>> and 2 on the bottom. I had them all extracted in one sitting with a
>> local anesthetic. Three day later I was back to work. So quit being
>> such a baby...:}
>

>You must be really wise. Actually, you are the first person outside my
>family that I have heard of having extra teeth. I had to have two
>extra sets of front teeth removed when I was a kid. A cousin of mine
>grew a neat set of fangs (extra teeth too).

Headline news: `MAN BITES DOG !'


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