Timeless stupidity.
James Kibo Parry
->
-> AOL UK bans time
-> By: Tim Richardson
-> Posted: 26/03/2001 at 13:43 GMT
->
-> AOL UK has forbidden its employees from wearing watches or looking
-> at the time.
->
-> Clocks have been covered and wristwatches removed as part of stunt
-> by the Internet company.
->
-> Some workers have been so keen to take part in the event that
-> they've even covered the digital timer on their PCs and mobile phones
-> with tape.
->
-> The event is supposed to see whether the pressure of time is
-> responsible for stress in the workplace and help employees
-> "experience the value of time without limits".
->
-> AOL UK has even drafted in a psychotherapist to monitor the
-> response of staff working in a timeless environment.
The question is, are they ever allowed to leave the office if they don't
know what time it is?
In any case, the elimination of clocks from AOL's British headquarters
is a good move if they're hoping to turn AOL UK into a casino. Now that
all the clocks are gone, they need to remove all the windows too, and
pump massive quantities of cheap cigar smoke in. And hand out free
drinks. And put slot machines in the restrooms.
-- K.
And, of course, without time, all of
AOL's scheduled down-for-maintenance
periods willnow be referred to as
"wacky fun surprises".
Xcott Craver
>-> The event is supposed to see whether the pressure of time is
>-> responsible for stress in the workplace and help employees
>-> "experience the value of time without limits".
Sometimes I wonder if independent consultants are part of some
massive, cynical organized trolling of corporations, to see just
how much silliness they will willingly swallow (*and* pay for.)
Salon has a two-part series about the rise and fall of Wizards of
the Coast, written by an ex-employee who tells of dopey corporate
synergy-building programs. In one case, consultants held seminars
in which they told employees the mind-numbingly obvious falsehood
that:
in any data set, if you have three consecutive points that
are "trending" -- moving in a consistent direction -- then
there's a 68 percent chance the fourth data point will be
contrary to the trend.
This is so nonsensical that it's not even wrong. The whole
idea that someone could get paid mucho bucks to say something
that idiotic --- AND, say it to a bunch of role-playing game
designers, who know at least a bit about probability ---
sez to me that trolling will be alive and well long after
imminent death of the Net (predicted.)
-S
Jym Dyer
> massive, cynical organized trolling of corporations, to see
> just how much silliness they will willingly swallow (*and*
> pay for.)
=v= One place I worked, a Big Company, had a feel-good type come
and inspire us.
=v= He told us about motivating killer whales like Free Willie.
You hold a bar up, and when they jump over it, you say "Good
whale!" three times. Then you raise the bar. ("Raise the bar"
is a phrase that makes the attending midlevel managers happy,
of course.) When they jump over *that*, you say "Good whale!"
three times. And so on and so on, until they're performing
amazing feats.
=v= Naturally, I assumed that this was an allegory about the
effectiveness of positive reinforcement, but it turned out that
we were to take it literally. He issued us little stickers with
"Good whale!" written on them three times, and we used them to
reward each other with. Who needs stuff like raises and options
when you can have a sticker with a copyrighted trademarked all
rights reserved patented saying on it?
=v= (That's why I don't just write out, "Good whale! Good
whale! Good whale!" This guy's lawyers would sue me.)
=v= The Big Company's stock started to plummet as we all went
around giving stickers to one another, so they tried another
inspirational consultant type. I somehow managed to be out sick
on the day of the seminar, but apparently this guy's schtick was
that nobody's ideas are stupid. Instead, they're bright sparks
which can turn into a mighty flame, and nobody should be allowed
to "firehose" them.
=v= This guy also had copyrighted/etc. stickers, showing a
mighty fireman with a big hose, silhouetted against a wall of
flame. Normally this is a heroic image, but we were supposed
to be siding with the arsonist. Very confusing. It also wasn't
clear what we were supposed to be doing with these stickers.
Perhaps they're intended for the foreheads of evil firehosers.
=v= At any rate, meetings thereafter were punctuated with
whining accusations of firehosing, and in short order we all
standardized on a proprietary email system that only ran on
PCs. (Never mind that the managers all had Macs and the rest
of us had Unix boxes. It's better to buy PCs for everyone in
the company than to "firehose" a stupid idea.)
=v= Naturally, our stock went down in flames.
<_Jym_>
P.S.: Playfair, recently mentioned, has joined this sort of
thing. Since all the colleges have been converted into jails,
I guess they needed to find a new market. Take a look at
http://www.playfair.com/ and you'll see what I mean. I think
the Not Abbie Hoffman guy is now the Emperor, though his 'fro
is smaller (but so was Abbie Hoffman's in the later days). I
hope he doesn't have me sued because I damned him to Hell.
Todd Kanin-Chen
> http://www.playfair.com/ and you'll see what I mean. I think
> the Not Abbie Hoffman guy is now the Emperor, though his 'fro
> is smaller (but so was Abbie Hoffman's in the later days). I
> hope he doesn't have me sued because I damned him to Hell.
>
Why do I have the urge to vote the LAPD as "America's Most Fun Company"...
...beatin', bribin', framin', and shootin'...
...discounts on hookers, harrassin' the drag queens...
...arrestin' movie stars...
...Ya' think?
Zixia
<PMQy6.105182$Xt3.14...@news1.rdc1.az.home.com>:
>
>> http://www.playfair.com/ and you'll see what I mean. I think
>> the Not Abbie Hoffman guy is now the Emperor, though his 'fro
>> is smaller (but so was Abbie Hoffman's in the later days). I
>> hope he doesn't have me sued because I damned him to Hell.
>>
>
>Why do I have the urge to vote the LAPD as "America's Most Fun
>Company"... ^
R
VOTE LARD!
--
Zixia - "Not a gurl since 1973"