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Smurves & Llamas
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Smurf
Jan 29, 1999, 3:00:00 AM1/29/99
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Llamas are our friends. Except for the times when they aren't; in
those times, Smurves are our friends. This all makes perfect sense when you
take it all into consideration. This is the plain and simple fact: llamas
and Smurves are working together to dominate the world. So naturally, when
the llamas aren't cooperating, the Smurves will want to be on our better
side. I know you are asking yourself right now: "why llamas and Smurves?"
Well I am glad you asked yourself this because I need something to talk
about to forstall doing a project, and obviously, since you are still
reading this, you need something to do as well.
Llamas and Smurves will rule the world for a few simple facts. (1)
They are smarter than us. (2) They don't waste time reading newsgroups and
surfing the net because of (1). (3) They have cool names. If you don't think
they do, then you are obviously wrong because of (1). (4) We won't be able
to resist a world-wide invasion by the aforementioned groups because who can
resist small blue men or large, horse-like mammals that spit. That's right -
no one. I mean.. when is the last time you've seen someone defend themselves
when a llama was attacking them? Never. That's what I thought.
Okay I know some of you think that point (1) is totally out there,
but let's look at the facts. Llamas sit around all day doing what appears to
be nothing while us humans run around working our butts off to stay afloat
in society. I mean, llamas can survive simply by standing around, chewing
hay and spitting at passerbys whilst plotting how to take over the world
with their Smurf friends. Can you do that? I didn't think so. And Smurves.
They were able to get a few years worth of air time on TV. Have you ever had
your own show? Again, I didn't think so. All of this leads to the inevitable
conclusion that llamas and Smurves are smarter than humans. Since this point
is true, then all the following points (2, 3, and 4) are also true by the
trickle - down affect. (I know this makes no sense, but it sounded good so I
used it.)
So, what shall we do about this impending invasion? Beats me. I, for
one, plan on sitting my lazy - butt on this chair and wasting time reading
pointless posts like this one, so that when the Smurves torture me for
information all I'll be able to do is chant "Kibo.. Kibo.. Kibo.." This
will, of course, cause the Smurves to wonder who the hell Kibo is (they
won't already know because of point (2)) and they'll go chasing him down. Oh
well, sounds like a personal problem to me. I'll have my own problems - like
trying to figure out how to say "Hello. This is my pencil" in Smurven and/or
llamish.
For those of you who are wondering why I use "Smurves" instead of
"Smurfs," (I know, I know, my telepathic abilities are amazing) I will share
a simple insight with you:
Smurf = "Smurf"
Smurf + Smurf = "2Smurf "
Smurf + Smurf + Smurf = "3Smurf"
and so forth untill we get to:
Smurf + Smurf + Smurf + Smurf + Smurf = "VSmurf"
(I used a Roman Numeral in the case _only_ because it is easier to type "V"
than "5," I assure you.)
Now VSmurf looks awkward. This is simply because of the old TV series titled
"V." Those of us who have seen this series have an innate fear a capital "v"
(except when it is preceeded by a "T"). Therefore, we innately want to make
the "V" into a lower case. So "VSmurf" becomes "vSmurf." Now anyone who
knows any English grammar knows that a proper noun can't begin with a
lower-case letter, and so we slap the "v" onto the end (the last letter in
the word is obliterrated because we as humans are preoccupied with the idea
of world domination). Thus "vSmurf" becomes "Smurv." Now then. We are
talking about a simple pluralization of a word, and so an "s" has to go
somewhere on the end of the word. Also, since "e" is the most common letter
that is used in English, it must go somewhere in the word to preserve this
crucial trait. And there we have it: "Smurv" becomes "Smurves." Some of you
are thinking that this whole train of thought makes no sense whatsoever
(again, my telepathic ability shines through). However, who is the one that
is smart enough to start learning how to say "Hello. This is my pencil." by
spitting in morse code for when the llamas come knocking on my door?
those times, Smurves are our friends. This all makes perfect sense when you
take it all into consideration. This is the plain and simple fact: llamas
and Smurves are working together to dominate the world. So naturally, when
the llamas aren't cooperating, the Smurves will want to be on our better
side. I know you are asking yourself right now: "why llamas and Smurves?"
Well I am glad you asked yourself this because I need something to talk
about to forstall doing a project, and obviously, since you are still
reading this, you need something to do as well.
Llamas and Smurves will rule the world for a few simple facts. (1)
They are smarter than us. (2) They don't waste time reading newsgroups and
surfing the net because of (1). (3) They have cool names. If you don't think
they do, then you are obviously wrong because of (1). (4) We won't be able
to resist a world-wide invasion by the aforementioned groups because who can
resist small blue men or large, horse-like mammals that spit. That's right -
no one. I mean.. when is the last time you've seen someone defend themselves
when a llama was attacking them? Never. That's what I thought.
Okay I know some of you think that point (1) is totally out there,
but let's look at the facts. Llamas sit around all day doing what appears to
be nothing while us humans run around working our butts off to stay afloat
in society. I mean, llamas can survive simply by standing around, chewing
hay and spitting at passerbys whilst plotting how to take over the world
with their Smurf friends. Can you do that? I didn't think so. And Smurves.
They were able to get a few years worth of air time on TV. Have you ever had
your own show? Again, I didn't think so. All of this leads to the inevitable
conclusion that llamas and Smurves are smarter than humans. Since this point
is true, then all the following points (2, 3, and 4) are also true by the
trickle - down affect. (I know this makes no sense, but it sounded good so I
used it.)
So, what shall we do about this impending invasion? Beats me. I, for
one, plan on sitting my lazy - butt on this chair and wasting time reading
pointless posts like this one, so that when the Smurves torture me for
information all I'll be able to do is chant "Kibo.. Kibo.. Kibo.." This
will, of course, cause the Smurves to wonder who the hell Kibo is (they
won't already know because of point (2)) and they'll go chasing him down. Oh
well, sounds like a personal problem to me. I'll have my own problems - like
trying to figure out how to say "Hello. This is my pencil" in Smurven and/or
llamish.
For those of you who are wondering why I use "Smurves" instead of
"Smurfs," (I know, I know, my telepathic abilities are amazing) I will share
a simple insight with you:
Smurf = "Smurf"
Smurf + Smurf = "2Smurf "
Smurf + Smurf + Smurf = "3Smurf"
and so forth untill we get to:
Smurf + Smurf + Smurf + Smurf + Smurf = "VSmurf"
(I used a Roman Numeral in the case _only_ because it is easier to type "V"
than "5," I assure you.)
Now VSmurf looks awkward. This is simply because of the old TV series titled
"V." Those of us who have seen this series have an innate fear a capital "v"
(except when it is preceeded by a "T"). Therefore, we innately want to make
the "V" into a lower case. So "VSmurf" becomes "vSmurf." Now anyone who
knows any English grammar knows that a proper noun can't begin with a
lower-case letter, and so we slap the "v" onto the end (the last letter in
the word is obliterrated because we as humans are preoccupied with the idea
of world domination). Thus "vSmurf" becomes "Smurv." Now then. We are
talking about a simple pluralization of a word, and so an "s" has to go
somewhere on the end of the word. Also, since "e" is the most common letter
that is used in English, it must go somewhere in the word to preserve this
crucial trait. And there we have it: "Smurv" becomes "Smurves." Some of you
are thinking that this whole train of thought makes no sense whatsoever
(again, my telepathic ability shines through). However, who is the one that
is smart enough to start learning how to say "Hello. This is my pencil." by
spitting in morse code for when the llamas come knocking on my door?
Nick S Bensema
Jan 29, 1999, 3:00:00 AM1/29/99
to
In article <KJgs2.2038$443....@news.rdc1.tx.home.com>,
Smurf <smu...@home.com> wrote:
> Llamas are our friends. Except for the times when they aren't; in
>those times, Smurves are our friends. This all makes perfect sense when you
>take it all into consideration. This is the plain and simple fact: llamas
>and Smurves are working together to dominate the world. So naturally, when
Smurf <smu...@home.com> wrote:
> Llamas are our friends. Except for the times when they aren't; in
>those times, Smurves are our friends. This all makes perfect sense when you
>take it all into consideration. This is the plain and simple fact: llamas
>and Smurves are working together to dominate the world. So naturally, when
THE END!
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> 98-KUPD Red Card #710563 UIN: 2135445
~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
</BLINK>
Spactula
Jan 30, 1999, 3:00:00 AM1/30/99
to
Smurf wrote in message ...
> Llamas are our friends. Except for the times when they aren't; in
>those times, Smurves are our friends. This all makes perfect sense when you
>take it all into consideration. This is the plain and simple fact: llamas
>and Smurves are working together to dominate the world. So naturally, when
LOL
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