How I failed to get hired again
Echo Three
really "qualified" for anything, per se, but I've been trying to get a
job as a secretary or data entry clerk. I applied for thirty jobs
before I got any kind of response. The position was one of the more
appealing ones I'd applied for: a teaching position at a place in the
University District called Kaplan. Kaplan is a test prep center. They
had programs for the SAT, MCAT, LSAT, et cetera. I was hoping to tutor
kids for the SAT. My lack of experience in this field didn't matter;
they were looking for people with high SAT scores who had good
presentation skills (i.e., would make a good teacher).
I take the bus to the Ave, University Way, where it smells like
incense for blocks and the bums are honest ("Can I have a buck to buy
a beer?"), and I find the center. They direct me to a room where I am
joined by about eight other candidates. They are all male, in their
mid- to late-twenties. This is where I begin to get scared.
I am here to audition. I was told I should be prepared to give a
five-minute presentation to demonstrate my teaching skills. The topic
of the presentation could be anything you wanted, so long as it
indicated how you would interact with a class. There is a panel of
three judges, who rate your performance.
Before the auditions, we go around the room and introduce ourselves
and talk a little about why we're here.
"Hi, my name is Rob, I'm from the Silicon Valley. I just graduated
from Stanford and I'm up here working for Microsoft part-time over the
summer. I'm looking to supplement my income."
"Hi, my name's Mark, I'm a junior at UW. I was going for a double
major in neuroscience and English literature [IANMTU] but I'm running
out of scholarship money, and I think this would look good on a resume
as well as making me some money."
"Hi, I'm John. I just graduated from Harvard, but I always wanted
to pursue teaching, so I moved back home to Seattle and decided to
start out here."
"Hi, I'm Nicholas, I just got my degree in marine biology, and I'm
kind of between jobs right now, so I figured teaching here would be a
good thing to do in the interim."
"Um. . . hi. . .my name's [Echo Three]. I just graduated from art
school, and I, er, thought it might be interesting to be involved in
real education."
The presentations were interesting. One guy taught us how to cook
Chicken Cacciatore, the next guy taught us how an MRI worked, the next
guy taught us how to keep score in bowling. When it came time for me
to present, one could imagine I was a little nervous.
"Well," I said, "here I am surrounded by Ivy League graduates and
medical students. But you know what? I bet you all feel like there's
something missing from your lives. An unnamed emptiness. Well, I'll
tell you what it is that's eating away at you: you're not artists. But
that's okay, because I'm here to teach you how to become artists. My
presentation is on the highest form of art: the caricature. For those
of you not familiar, caricature is the subtle, gentle art of making
somebody so hideously ugly that their friends all say, 'Oh man, it
looks just LIKE you!' So for the subject of this demonstration. . ." I
pulled out a photograph. . . "we're going to use a well-known
personality. Bono." That in and of itself got a few chuckles. I spent
the next five minutes using poor Bono's obvious Black-Irish heritage
to demonstrate how to find prominent facial features which a
caricaturist chooses to emphasize or de-emphasize. I have a habit of
going on auto-pilot when I get in front of an audience, so I don't
remember much about it, only that when I was done there was a large
drawing of Bono on the whiteboard and people were clapping. I sat
down.
After the presentations were done, we were taken out one by one for
further consultation. When it was my turn, the lady led me down a
labyrinth of halls to a cramped office. She told me I did a very good
job and my presentation was very entertaining.
"Which test did you have in mind for teaching?" she asked.
The only one I was qualified to teach: "The SAT," I replied.
"Yeah, uh huh, well see the problem is. . ." Oh damn. ". .
.we've just got so many people wanting to teach that one, there's just
no room for anyone new."
"Oh, okay."
"But we'll keep your resume on file in case there's an opening,
alright?"
"Thanks."
When the formalities were over I left in a huff. Could they not
have told me when I first called them that there was no demand for SAT
teachers? You'd think they'd point that out, just out of courtesy. But
no; I unwittingly spent all that time and effort just to draw a crappy
picture of Bono in front of a room full of Ivy League graduate
students.
- Echo
"It's really dangerous, being a rock star. I mean, if you say that
you want a forty-foot lemon, someone goes out and builds you one."
-Bono
Jeremy Impson
[...]
> "Hi, my name is Rob, I'm from the Silicon Valley. I just graduated
> from Stanford and I'm up here working for Microsoft part-time over the
> summer. I'm looking to supplement my income."
What? Dude, if you have spare time, work more hours at microsoft. I
can't believe they don't have work for you. They *are* slave drivers.
[...]
> "Um. . . hi. . .my name's [Echo Three]. I just graduated from art
> school, and I, er, thought it might be interesting to be involved in
> real education."
How do you pronounce those square brackets?
[...]
> I have a habit of going on auto-pilot when I get in front of an
> audience, so I don't remember much about it, only that when I was done
> there was a large drawing of Bono on the whiteboard and people were
> clapping. I sat down.
Yay!
[...]
> "Which test did you have in mind for teaching?" she asked.
> The only one I was qualified to teach: "The SAT," I replied.
Who are you to judge what you're qualified to teach? Seriously. The
question she asked implied that there are other jobs. You should think
about what ones might be interesting, and let them decide if you are
qualified. (Having been a hirer, I know what a pain in the ass it is
finding qualified people--after a while, you start looking for intelligent
people who are trainable, not holding out for pretrained intelligent
people. Or trained monkeys.)
[...]
> When the formalities were over I left in a huff. Could they not
> have told me when I first called them that there was no demand for SAT
> teachers? You'd think they'd point that out, just out of courtesy. But
> no; I unwittingly spent all that time and effort just to draw a crappy
> picture of Bono in front of a room full of Ivy League graduate
> students.
BUT! Now you have a good story to share on ARK. So it all worked out in
the end. Except that you are still penniless.
Speaking of good stories, I don't have any! I went to work monday, called
in sick tuesday, then called in emergency vacation for the rest of the
week. I haven't spoken to a real person since Monday, except for the
cashiers at the grocery store, but they are so beneath me as to not count.
My problem is that I have no desire to work anymore. I'm inherently lazy
to begin with, combined with the fact that my there's nothing at work to
motivate me to get anything done. I'm more or less in charge of myself
and the R&D projects that have been assigned to me. I've figure out how
to solve them, but can't kick my ass to actually solve them. And the huge
project I was involved with that almost had me motivated got cancelled
last week.
Also, I'm constantly diverted by having to give marketing pitches to
"potential" customers (who will never buy our services) because our
marketing department doesn't know how to spell IT (Information Systems).
Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't demand
him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored? Where I
can be in charge of an interesting project but not be *responsible* for
said project? And not have to do any paperwork *ever*?
I'm *such* a prima donna.
--Jeremy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy Impson
http://nwc.syr.edu/~jdimpson
Jeremy Impson
[...]
> Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't demand
> him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
> uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
> where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored? Where I
> can be in charge of an interesting project but not be *responsible* for
> said project? And not have to do any paperwork *ever*?
>
> I'm *such* a prima donna.
I just realizd that what I need is a patronage. Like Mozart.
Jorn Barger
> > Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't demand
> > him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
> > uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
> > where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored? Where I
> > can be in charge of an interesting project but not be *responsible* for
> > said project? And not have to do any paperwork *ever*?
I'd say "Build a website", but I haven't figured out the getting-paid
part yet.
> I just realized that what I need is a patronage. Like Mozart.
James Joyce lived off Harriet Weaver's patronage from his late 30s on.
--
http://www.robotwisdom.com/ "Relentlessly intelligent
yet playful, polymathic in scope of interests, minimalist
but user-friendly design." --Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
Ranjit Bhatnagar
> Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't demand
> him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
> uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
> where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored? Where I
> can be in charge of an interesting project but not be *responsible* for
> said project? And not have to do any paperwork *ever*?
Sorry, I already got that job.
TWICE!
HAW HAW!
You're right: a patron is what kept it going the first time, and when the
patronage ran out, so did word.com. I'm not quite sure how it works now.
But it does!
-r.
Tamara
> I'm *such* a prima donna.
Well then you are off to a good start on your wannabe gayness.
~T (now prance around for a bit. Paula and Darla will judge you. And wear
glitter. Don't forget the glitter.)
Rose Marie Holt
> From: Jeremy Impson <jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu>
> Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
> Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2001 09:08:09 -0400
> Subject: Re: How I failed to get hired again
>
> Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't demand
> him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
> uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
> where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored? Where I
> can be in charge of an interesting project but not be *responsible* for
> said project? And not have to do any paperwork *ever*?
Perhaps you could be a professional caricaturist. Oh, that requires paper.
Nevermind
Darla Vladschyk
<jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu> wrote:
>Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't demand
>him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
>uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
>where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored? Where I
>can be in charge of an interesting project but not be *responsible* for
>said project? And not have to do any paperwork *ever*?
Housewife to Giant Brane Guy.
-=D=-
Here I am again.
Ben Wolfson
<jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu> wrote:
>I just realizd that what I need is a patronage. Like Mozart.
No! That's *my* plan for life. I'm going to find a patron or patroness
who will pay me to make horrible puns. 1 theory is that this is a good
plan.
--
Barnabas T. Rumjuggler
No man can run so fast that he can escape his own past's projectile vomit.
Luke Breinig
100...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu>, jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu says...
> My problem is that I have no desire to work anymore. I'm inherently lazy
> to begin with, combined with the fact that my there's nothing at work to
> motivate me to get anything done. I'm more or less in charge of myself
> and the R&D projects that have been assigned to me. I've figure out how
> to solve them, but can't kick my ass to actually solve them. And the huge
> project I was involved with that almost had me motivated got cancelled
> last week.
yep, yep...
> Also, I'm constantly diverted by having to give marketing pitches to
> "potential" customers (who will never buy our services) because our
> marketing department doesn't know how to spell IT (Information Systems).
I hear that. I think that in any given week, I get about two hours of
actual, productive work done. The rest of the time I just spend reading
usenet and trying to ignore that damn gray ringy thing on my desk. The
weird thing is, no one seems to notice, so apparently I am actually doing
my job. The crappy thing is, you probably get paid more than I do. But
then again, that's what I get for just hiding in the attic for four years
instead of going to college.
Every once in a while, someone will call me up and give me some sort of
vague direction, and I'll try to make a project out of it, but by the
time I've got it more or less figured out, everyone else has forgotten
about it.
> Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't demand
> him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
> uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
> where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored? Where I
> can be in charge of an interesting project but not be *responsible* for
> said project? And not have to do any paperwork *ever*?
How about "celebrity sycophant"? You know, one of those people that
follows famous people around for no apparent reason?
Or, you could be an Academic. I don't think I can come up with a life
more vacuous than that.
--
Luke Breinig - www.lukebreinig.com - L33T H4><0R!!1!
Amiga 500/1000/3000 - K6-2/450 - PII/300 - Mac IIsi - Apple IIgs - C=64
"smart1234 is getting more insane. Even a car running over him could not
help him." - Kurt Stocklmeir
Joshua Hesse
:On 16 Aug 2001, Echo Three wrote:
:> "Um. . . hi. . .my name's [Echo Three]. I just graduated from art
:> school, and I, er, thought it might be interesting to be involved in
:> real education."
:How do you pronounce those square brackets?
I vote for 'tick' for the opening and 'tock' for the closing.
For example:
:[...]
Would be pronounced as 'tick-dit-dit-dit-tock'.
:> I have a habit of going on auto-pilot when I get in front of an
:> audience, so I don't remember much about it, only that when I was done
:> there was a large drawing of Bono on the whiteboard and people were
:> clapping. I sat down.
I did something like that in highschool english class. Comparing
"The Grapes of Wrath" to "Bugs Bunny". It's kind of scary. (the comparison,
not the presentation.)
:My problem is that I have no desire to work anymore. I'm inherently lazy
:to begin with, combined with the fact that my there's nothing at work to
:motivate me to get anything done. I'm more or less in charge of myself
:and the R&D projects that have been assigned to me. I've figure out how
:to solve them, but can't kick my ass to actually solve them. And the huge
:project I was involved with that almost had me motivated got cancelled
:last week.
I've got a similar problem. I graduated last May with a degree in
Electrical Engineering, and since then I've sent out exactly *ONE*
resume. (...and that was for another job in the same dept. I'm currently
in.) No motivation. (well, money should be one, but it's not yet...)
So, does anybody need an EE? And do you have a full UseNet feed?
-Josh
--
"I have also mastered pomposity, even if I do say so myself." -Kryten
UNL Anime Club: http://www.unl.edu/otaku
"I'd be proud to vote for tax increases... You bet I would." -Dick Gephardt
Joshua Hesse
:I did something like that in highschool english class. Comparing
:"The Grapes of Wrath" to "Bugs Bunny". It's kind of scary. (the comparison,
:not the presentation.)
On further reflection, I think the presentation scared the hell out of a lot
of people too.
Darla Vladschyk
wrote:
>Or, you could be an Academic. I don't think I can come up with a life
>more vacuous than that.
Hey HEY!!! Remember I am MARRIED to one a them academix, Bub.
And he only gets vacuumed twice a week. So watch that stuff!
Ranjit Bhatnagar
> So, does anybody need an EE? And do you have a full UseNet feed?
===========================
| |
/ GIANT H FARM SUPPLIES |
| /\
| FULL | |
| USENET F D | <-- We need an EE
| \
/ |
| ingredients |
| 14% comp |
| 23% rec |
| 18% soc |
| 16% talk | |
| 26% alt | |
| | /
\___________________________/
Jeremy Impson
On Fri, 17 Aug 2001, I asked:
> Anybody know of any jobs for a highly trained induvidual that don't
> demand him to be responsible, but at the same time isn't repetitive or
> uncreative? And doesn't require doing powerpoint presentations? And
> where I can go from one project to another whenever I get bored?
> Where I can be in charge of an interesting project but not be
> *responsible* for said project? And not have to do any paperwork
> *ever*?
So on Fri, 17 Aug 2001, Darla Vladschyk suggested:
> Housewife to Giant Brane Guy.
You do not know how much I'd like to be a househusband.
The way I figure it, I've gone to great lengths in making my current
abode be a place where I'm comfortable. So what do I do? Spend over 50%
of my waking time at work.
I do not think telecommuting would work because 1) I think employers are
realizing that this doesn't work very well and I forsee the job market
being much better for employers in the near future so it'd be hard to
persuade an employer that I'm worth the trouble, and 2) working at home
would provide too many distractions for me.
I'm sure I'd go insane after a while. I do sometimes value getting out of
the house. But I'd certainly like to try it. I could do "consultation"
work, and write more magazine articles. But the important part of being a
househusband is that someone else does the bringing-home-the-bacon.
And on Fri, 17 Aug 2001, Luke Breinig chimed in with:
> I hear that. I think that in any given week, I get about two hours of
> actual, productive work done. The rest of the time I just spend
> reading usenet and trying to ignore that damn gray ringy thing on my
> desk. The weird thing is, no one seems to notice, so apparently I am
> actually doing my job. The crappy thing is, you probably get paid
> more than I do. But then again, that's what I get for just hiding in
> the attic for four years instead of going to college.
My grey ringy thing is tan, and just Monday (the one day I worked this
week) I changed the voice mail message so that it encourages people to
send me email. In hopes that they'll leave me alone.
And two hours a week sounds about right.
And regarding college, well, that fact just pisses me off. Having a
college degree (two, actually), I know first hand that they are guarantees
of *nothing*. They don't assure that a candidate is harder working, or
cleverer, or anything. They prove that you are either just clever enough
or just hardworking enough. I was clever enough.. But mostly, the prove
that you figured out a way to get lots of money (via some means) to pay
for it.
I know a couple of people, one whom managed to get a job at my place of
work, without degrees, who I'd take as employees before lots of others
with degrees.
[...]
> How about "celebrity sycophant"? You know, one of those people that
> follows famous people around for no apparent reason?
Well, I do not think it pays much, and I have a hard time developing
obsessions with people I do not know quite well.
I have wondered how these sort of people (or Deadheads) manage to survive
when they don't have a job.
> Or, you could be an Academic. I don't think I can come up with a life
> more vacuous than that.
Academic is another thing I've considered (if the househusband thing don't
work out). I do suspect that they have to do lots of paperwork, but I
envy the creative freedom. But, one usually needs a high degree of degree
for that. And I suspect it isn't the great cushy job that I perceive it as
being!
David DeLaney
>I did something like that in highschool english class. Comparing
>"The Grapes of Wrath" to "Bugs Bunny". It's kind of scary. (the comparison,
>not the presentation.)
Who won, and how many rounds did it end up going?
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
David DeLaney
> ===========================
> | |
> / GIANT H FARM SUPPLIES |
> | /\
> | FULL | |
> | USENET F D | <-- We need an EE
> | \
> / |
> | ingredients |
> | 14% comp |
> | 23% rec |
> | 18% soc |
> | 16% talk | |
> | 26% alt | |
> | | /
> \___________________________/
OH THE LACK OF HUMANITIES!
Dave "H is for Hydrogen, that's good enough for me" DeLaney
Paula
I'm sorry. You'll have to do the prancing again. I missed it.
Paula
Chris McGonnell
Yeah, yeah, he teaches "philosophy." It's one of those new curricula
invented for Gen-X students, like "communications." It'll never stand the
test of time the way Jazzercise has!
--
Chris "Maimonides" McG.
Harming humanity since 1951
"This post has a child-proof cap" -- David Pacheco
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Darla Vladschyk
<sme...@key-net.net> wrote:
>Yeah, yeah, he teaches "philosophy." It's one of those new curricula
>invented for Gen-X students, like "communications." It'll never stand the
>test of time the way Jazzercise has!
Well actually he teaches "Logic," in which enrollments have been
declining because the children are actually required to WORK. They
don't like that, since they now style themselves as "consumers of the
product 'education'," and they want to be spoon-fed easily digested
courses, patted on the head, and given an "A."
One intro logic student two terms ago actually stormed into Vlad's
office after the midterm and sputtered "Hey I PAID my money for this
course, and I WANT a better grade!!"
Small wonder Vlad decided a sabbatical was in order this term.
-=Darla=-
"Research, not Rat-Faces!" --- war cry of a burned-out colleague
Here I am again.
Dag Right-square-bracket-gren
>> "Um. . . hi. . .my name's [Echo Three]. I just graduated from art
>> school, and I, er, thought it might be interesting to be involved in
>> real education."
> How do you pronounce those square brackets?
Hey! No making fun of people with brackets in their names!
--
Dag Agren <> d...@c3.cx <> http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/ <> Legalize oregano
The time is nigh / I dreamed a lake
It's greek to me / Your pants are down
robert lindsay
Echo Three <bobth...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>Today I had an interview for a job. Being art school grad, I'm not
>really "qualified" for anything, per se, but I've been trying to get a
>job as a secretary or data entry clerk.
Oh great. Art girl AND a history junkie. Just push all my buttons,
why don't you? Your probably insane also. Since you live so far away
and are probably busy, could you just send me a bill for the future
torment you'll cause me so I can pay in advance?
> I applied for thirty jobs
>before I got any kind of response. The position was one of the more
>appealing ones I'd applied for: a teaching position at a place in the
>University District called Kaplan. Kaplan is a test prep center. They
>had programs for the SAT, MCAT, LSAT, et cetera. I was hoping to tutor
>kids for the SAT. My lack of experience in this field didn't matter;
>they were looking for people with high SAT scores who had good
>presentation skills (i.e., would make a good teacher).
I'll give them points for the therory that teacher need good presentation
skills, but it'll never sell in academia
> I take the bus to the Ave, University Way, where it smells like
>incense for blocks and the bums are honest ("Can I have a buck to buy
>a beer?"), and I find the center. They direct me to a room where I am
>joined by about eight other candidates. They are all male, in their
>mid- to late-twenties. This is where I begin to get scared.
Why?
> I am here to audition. I was told I should be prepared to give a
>five-minute presentation to demonstrate my teaching skills. The topic
>of the presentation could be anything you wanted, so long as it
>indicated how you would interact with a class. There is a panel of
>three judges, who rate your performance.
Who is the judge from the USSR? He always give the girlz a bad score.
> Before the auditions, we go around the room and introduce ourselves
>and talk a little about why we're here.
> "Hi, my name is Rob, I'm from the Silicon Valley. I just graduated
>from Stanford and I'm up here working for Microsoft part-time over the
>summer. I'm looking to supplement my income."
Feh. Microsoft weenie. You should have reported him to Ballamer. Those
guys are supposed to be dedicated, not slacking off with extra part-time
jobs.
> "Hi, my name's Mark, I'm a junior at UW. I was going for a double
>major in neuroscience and English literature [IANMTU] but I'm running
>out of scholarship money, and I think this would look good on a resume
>as well as making me some money."
In other words, he WANTS to work at microsoft. You should report him also.
> "Hi, I'm John. I just graduated from Harvard, but I always wanted
>to pursue teaching, so I moved back home to Seattle and decided to
>start out here."
teaching != SAT test prep. He's just marking time and trying to get
over his SO dumping him, before he goes on to work at microsoft.
Report him also, and you'll get a free brownie for the hat trick.
> "Hi, I'm Nicholas, I just got my degree in marine biology, and I'm
>kind of between jobs right now, so I figured teaching here would be a
>good thing to do in the interim."
Nicholas, WTF are you doing out their, dammit? You wanna teach somebody,
git yer ass out here and you can teach SeaDAS to other soggy marine biology
bastards like yourself.
> "Um. . . hi. . .my name's [Echo Three]. I just graduated from art
>school, and I, er, thought it might be interesting to be involved in
>real education."
> The presentations were interesting. One guy taught us how to cook
>Chicken Cacciatore, the next guy taught us how an MRI worked, the next
>guy taught us how to keep score in bowling.
Did the marine biology d00d teach how to cakehole plankton?
> When it came time for me
>to present, one could imagine I was a little nervous.
No need. SAT test prep is built for you. Those other bastards need to
get a life.
> "Well," I said, "here I am surrounded by Ivy League graduates and
>medical students. But you know what? I bet you all feel like there's
>something missing from your lives. An unnamed emptiness. Well, I'll
>tell you what it is that's eating away at you: you're not artists. But
>that's okay, because I'm here to teach you how to become artists. My
>presentation is on the highest form of art: the caricature. For those
>of you not familiar, caricature is the subtle, gentle art of making
>somebody so hideously ugly that their friends all say, 'Oh man, it
>looks just LIKE you!' So for the subject of this demonstration. . ." I
>pulled out a photograph. . . "we're going to use a well-known
>personality. Bono." That in and of itself got a few chuckles. I spent
>the next five minutes using poor Bono's obvious Black-Irish heritage
>to demonstrate how to find prominent facial features which a
>caricaturist chooses to emphasize or de-emphasize. I have a habit of
>going on auto-pilot when I get in front of an audience, so I don't
>remember much about it, only that when I was done there was a large
>drawing of Bono on the whiteboard and people were clapping. I sat
>down.
You should have taken a picture of the drawing and sent it
to Henry Rollins. He's a big Bono fan.
> After the presentations were done, we were taken out one by one for
>further consultation. When it was my turn, the lady led me down a
>labyrinth of halls to a cramped office. She told me I did a very good
>job and my presentation was very entertaining.
> "Which test did you have in mind for teaching?" she asked.
> The only one I was qualified to teach: "The SAT," I replied.
> "Yeah, uh huh, well see the problem is. . ." Oh damn. ". .
>.we've just got so many people wanting to teach that one, there's just
>no room for anyone new."
> "Oh, okay."
> "But we'll keep your resume on file in case there's an opening,
>alright?"
> "Thanks."
Also don't forget that their target audience for SAT test prep is
bright unfocused teenagers. They just shot themselves in the foot.
As a former bright unfocused teenager, I know _I'D_ rather learn to
draw Bono that to cook or keep score at bowling, which I already knew,
thankyouverymuch.
> When the formalities were over I left in a huff. Could they not
>have told me when I first called them that there was no demand for SAT
>teachers? You'd think they'd point that out, just out of courtesy. But
>no; I unwittingly spent all that time and effort just to draw a crappy
>picture of Bono in front of a room full of Ivy League graduate
>students.
All of whom probably didn't get the job either. Remember you can
still report most of them to microsoft anyway.
--
Robert Lindsay, NASA - Goddard, Greenbelt MD rlin...@seadas.gsfc.nasa.gov
Weird people use the internet to try to insult people. Drugs may help.
-Kurt Stocklmeir, sci.physics, Thurs, 09 Aug 2001 23:45:20 EDT
#include <standard_disclaimer.h> 301-286-9958 ISTJ NON SVM ACERBVS
Ben Wolfson
lindsay) wrote:
>Also don't forget that their target audience for SAT test prep is
>bright unfocused teenagers. They just shot themselves in the foot.
>As a former bright unfocused teenager, I know _I'D_ rather learn to
>draw Bono that to cook or keep score at bowling, which I already knew,
>thankyouverymuch.
If you'd prefer to learn to draw Bono than to keep score at bowling SO DAMN
MUCH, how come you went out and LEARNED the other and not the one? HAH?
HAH SHADOW? HAH?
Paula
> On 21 Aug 2001 18:05:07 -0500, rlin...@shark.gsfc.nasa.gov (robert
> lindsay) wrote:
>
>> Also don't forget that their target audience for SAT test prep is
>> bright unfocused teenagers. They just shot themselves in the foot.
>> As a former bright unfocused teenager, I know _I'D_ rather learn to
>> draw Bono that to cook or keep score at bowling, which I already knew,
>> thankyouverymuch.
>
> If you'd prefer to learn to draw Bono than to keep score at bowling SO DAMN
> MUCH, how come you went out and LEARNED the other and not the one? HAH?
> HAH SHADOW? HAH?
Does poor lcrl need to go out and buy a poot rootbeer I Flirt You t-shirt to
get his point across? He's found a chyk who is into bitter. Let him say he
doesn't know how to draw Bono if that's what she is willing and able to
teach him.
Paula
Ben Wolfson
I am insensitive to "poor lcrl"'s woes, and indeed the woes of all the
lovelorn, because I met the love of my life last night! She was sitting
seven rows in front of me at a Radiohead concert, and was so captivating
that although she was only visible for about twenty minutes, she has
complete possession of my heart! I'm sure it won't be too hard to track
her down again.
Echo Three
> On Wed, 22 Aug 2001 05:38:02 GMT, Paula <MmmTob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> >
> >Does poor lcrl need to go out and buy a poot rootbeer I Flirt You t-shirt to
> >get his point across? He's found a chyk who is into bitter. Let him say he
> >doesn't know how to draw Bono if that's what she is willing and able to
> >teach him.
>
Hey! I came here to hit on geeky boys, not BE hit on by them!
What are you guys, a bunch of desperate lonely computer nerds or something?
-Echo
"Seems I'm not alone in being alone." - Gordon Sumner
Ben Wolfson
>Ben Wolfson <rumju...@cryptarchy.org> wrote in message news:<ggk6ot0ldbpv52r8r...@4ax.com>...
>> On Wed, 22 Aug 2001 05:38:02 GMT, Paula <MmmTob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>> >
>> >Does poor lcrl need to go out and buy a poot rootbeer I Flirt You t-shirt to
>> >get his point across? He's found a chyk who is into bitter. Let him say he
>> >doesn't know how to draw Bono if that's what she is willing and able to
>> >teach him.
Why do people follow up to me, getting my hopes up that something I wrote
merited response, and then spitefully snip everything mine? This is indeed
the cruellest cut!
Beable van Polasm
>
> On 23 Aug 2001 00:01:17 -0700, bobth...@hotmail.com (Echo Three) wrote:
>
> >Ben Wolfson <rumju...@cryptarchy.org> wrote in message
> >news:<ggk6ot0ldbpv52r8r...@4ax.com>...
> >> On Wed, 22 Aug 2001 05:38:02 GMT, Paula <MmmTob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> >> >
> >> >Does poor lcrl need to go out and buy a poot rootbeer I Flirt
> >> >You t-shirt to get his point across? He's found a chyk who is
> >> >into bitter. Let him say he doesn't know how to draw Bono if
> >> >that's what she is willing and able to teach him.
I'M DRAWING BONO RITE NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND I THINK YOU
DO R U A HAWT CHYK I M IQXING U RITE NOW!!!1!
cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
One of my favorite usenet quotes: "contrary to popular belief, the apostrophe
does not mean 'look out, here comes an "s"'." -- Peter Seebach
IQC 78189333
Joshua Hesse
:Hey! I came here to hit on geeky boys, not BE hit on by them!
^^^^^
:What are you guys, a bunch of desperate lonely computer nerds or something?
^^^^^^^^^
:-Echo
:"Seems I'm not alone in being alone." - Gordon Sumner
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ITYM, "insane". Please drive through and What's your sign?
Jeremy Impson
> Hey! I came here to hit on geeky boys, not BE hit on by them!
>
> What are you guys, a bunch of desperate lonely computer nerds or something?
I'm still not convinced that yer a gurl. But if you are, R U HAWT?
> "Seems I'm not alone in being alone." - Gordon Sumner
Sorry, but this Summoner dude ripped this lyric off from Sting.
Echo Three
>
>
>What's your sign?
"Low Flying Aircraft"
New question: What's everybody's sign?
And then Jeremy Impson <jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu>, who thinks
he's some sort of wise guy, wrote:
>I'm still not convinced that yer a gurl. But if you are, R U HAWT?
Well, I thought "Bridges of Madison County" was an inspired and moving
film experience. Does that prove I'm a gurl? Also, once every twenty
eight days my uterine lining sheds itself as a consequence of my
failure to gestate. Would that convince you?
(I only say that because I know most guys are far too squeamish about
girl stuff to even SAY something like "my uterine lining sheds
itself," much less experience the damn thing.)
>Sorry, but this Summoner dude ripped this lyric off from Sting.
And have you noticed, you never see them in the same room together.
Spooky.
-Echo
"The fair sex? Which one is that?" -J. R. Ackerley
David DeLaney
>Joshua Hesse <0009...@bigred.unl.edu> wrote:
>>What's your sign?
>
>"Low Flying Aircraft"
>
>New question: What's everybody's sign?
Virgo. Duh. (We don't know what it is about being born in early fall that makes
people obsessive-compulsive; the studies continue, as they have for the last
3,000 years...)
>Well, I thought "Bridges of Madison County" was an inspired and moving
>film experience. Does that prove I'm a gurl? Also, once every twenty
>eight days my uterine lining sheds itself as a consequence of my
>failure to gestate. Would that convince you?
It certainly would were it to happen to =me=. Say no more. Hmmm. Nudge nudge,
also.
Dave "am thankful, every so often, that I do not have to Deal With Makeup
either" DeLaney
Otto Bahn
> >I'm still not convinced that yer a gurl. But if you are, R U HAWT?
>
> Well, I thought "Bridges of Madison County" was an inspired and moving
> film experience. Does that prove I'm a gurl?
I think it proves you ain't gettin' the lurvin'
you deserve.
> Also, once every twenty
> eight days my uterine lining sheds itself as a consequence of my
> failure to gestate. Would that convince you?
If you are human, yes.
> (I only say that because I know most guys are far too squeamish about
> girl stuff to even SAY something like "my uterine lining sheds
> itself," much less experience the damn thing.)
Does having sex with a gurl who's uterine is
shedding count as experiencing the damn thing?
--oTTo--
For some reason this thread keeps getting
wackyparsed as How I failed to get high again
Rose Marie Holt
> From: Otto Bahn <JGA...@tkennedy.mc.duke.edu>
> Organization: After many years, he finally realized how to remember what
> Netscrape does with leading blanks
> Reply-To: JGA...@tkennedy.mc.duke.edu
> Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
> Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2001 13:59:40 -0400
> Subject: Re: How I failed to get hired again
>
> Echo Three wrote:
>
>>> I'm still not convinced that yer a gurl. But if you are, R U HAWT?
>
>> (I only say that because I know most guys are far too squeamish about
>> girl stuff to even SAY something like "my uterine lining sheds
>> itself," much less experience the damn thing.)
>
> Does having sex with a gurl who's uterine is
> shedding count as experiencing the damn thing?
Eeeeeeeeewwww!
PS, you can tell you are 45 when you start showing off the tampon box at the
grocery store instead of trying to hide it.
Paula
> On 23 Aug 2001 00:01:17 -0700, bobth...@hotmail.com (Echo Three) wrote:
>
>> Ben Wolfson <rumju...@cryptarchy.org> wrote in message
>> news:<ggk6ot0ldbpv52r8r...@4ax.com>...
>>> On Wed, 22 Aug 2001 05:38:02 GMT, Paula <MmmTob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Does poor lcrl need to go out and buy a poot rootbeer I Flirt You t-shirt
>>>> to
>>>> get his point across? He's found a chyk who is into bitter. Let him say
>>>> he
>>>> doesn't know how to draw Bono if that's what she is willing and able to
>>>> teach him.
>
>
> Why do people follow up to me, getting my hopes up that something I wrote
> merited response, and then spitefully snip everything mine? This is indeed
> the cruellest cut!
Whip up a batch of that licorice ice cream and we'll sit at the kitchen
table having a good cry over it together. Crying and ice cream cure just
about everything.
Paula
Kind of a Smith
> Joshua Hesse <0009...@bigred.unl.edu> wrote:
>>
>>
>>What's your sign?
> "Low Flying Aircraft"
> New question: What's everybody's sign?
"No Outlet"
> -Echo
OK. ""No-o-o Outlet-et-et""
--
Kind of a Smith
NN5KS
Austin, TX, USA, Earth
Ben Wolfson
>And then Jeremy Impson <jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu>, who thinks
>he's some sort of wise guy, wrote:
>
>>I'm still not convinced that yer a gurl. But if you are, R U HAWT?
>
>
>Well, I thought "Bridges of Madison County" was an inspired and moving
>film experience. Does that prove I'm a gurl? Also, once every twenty
>eight days my uterine lining sheds itself as a consequence of my
>failure to gestate. Would that convince you?
I put a curse on a gurl recently causing boold to flow from her vagina once
a month. Then she revealed that once she actually did bleeeeeed twice a
month and got very sick! "Once" meaning for a period of time greater than
one month.
Ben Wolfson
>Whip up a batch of that licorice ice cream and we'll sit at the kitchen
>table having a good cry over it together. Crying and ice cream cure just
>about everything.
I think I've lost the recipe.
Otto Bahn
>
> On Thu, 23 Aug 2001 19:10:45 GMT, Paula <MmmTob...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>
> >Whip up a batch of that licorice ice cream and we'll sit at the kitchen
> >table having a good cry over it together. Crying and ice cream cure just
> >about everything.
>
> I think I've lost the recipe.
1) Cry a good cry into a bucket of ice.
2) Insert cream cranker into bucket.
3) Insert cream, sugar, flavor into cranker.
4) Crank, crank, crank.
HTH!
--oTTo--
Jeremy Impson
> New question: What's everybody's sign?
Virgin. *I MEAN VIRGO*. September 7.
> And then Jeremy Impson <jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu>, who thinks
> he's some sort of wise guy, wrote:
I'm not in the mafia. Too many disembowlements and horse heads (which is
where I went to SCHOOL). Some of you might get that, if you've been
paying attention.
> >I'm still not convinced that yer a gurl. But if you are, R U HAWT?
> Well, I thought "Bridges of Madison County" was an inspired and moving
> film experience. Does that prove I'm a gurl? Also, once every twenty
> eight days my uterine lining sheds itself as a consequence of my
> failure to gestate. Would that convince you?
Well, it will convince me that U R HAWT, but not that you're a gurl.
Also, do you need help gestating? (I'm going to jail for that line.)
> (I only say that because I know most guys are far too squeamish about
> girl stuff to even SAY something like "my uterine lining sheds
> itself," much less experience the damn thing.)
I think I've gone in love with you. Will you please share with me
personal and private information, have a great time hanging out with me,
then tell me you only will ever think of me as a friend? Please?
I want to collect the whole set.
[...]
> "The fair sex? Which one is that?" -J. R. Ackerley
Whichever one gets sunburnt the worst.
--Jeremy
[SFX: Indigo Girls - Tangled Up In Blue]
[beverage: Lucas Vineyards Private Reserve Chardonnay 1997]
Joe Manfre
> I'm not in the mafia. Too many disembowlements and horse heads
> (which is where I went to SCHOOL). Some of you might get that, if
> you've been paying attention.
No, I am the only one who gets this. And also plus yesterday when I
was chitchatting with lcrl behind a movie theater, he mentioned that
he was going to DVD-ize the cool Disembowelment Plan concert footage
he shot at Fort Reno a couple weeks ago. But! Despite holding the
fact that I don't have a DVD player over my head, he WOULDN'T COMMIT
to whether he liked the Dis-Plan's music or not. Oooh! If only that
"mandy" person were still here, I would sic her all over lcrl until
she beat the footage out of him in some format in which I could
actually enjoy it, and also also plus plus he would admit that he
digzit just like chixdo.
JM
--
some thing that will help to create justice for the earth
Echo Three
> I think I've gone in love with you. Will you please share with me
> personal and private information, have a great time hanging out with me,
> then tell me you only will ever think of me as a friend? Please?
>
I'm afraid you're unfamiliar with the way I do business. You see, how
this will work is, I meet you just a couple days after I break up with
some guy that I was only going out with to take my mind of ANOTHER
guy, who I am madly in love with but who doesn't love me back. I have
just vowed once again that after the disasters of the recent past I'm
going to forget about relationships for a while. But I see you, am
intrigued, and we're fooling around within a week. But it takes me
less than a month to become restless and disatisfied with our
relationship. It's not you that I want, it's that OTHER guy. I'll
seduce him while you're safely out of the way, but he'll come to his
senses after a day or two and dump me again, apologizing profusely for
not loving me back. I'll nod and weep and try to move on, but seeing
you will only make me sick because I DON'T LOVE YOU! I LOVE HIM! I
DON'T CARE HOW GOOD YOU'VE BEEN TO ME, AND HOW CRUEL HE HAS BEEN! I
LOVE HIM! And then I'll gently dump you because I just really need to
be alone for a while. And then, a couple days later, I'll meet some
new guy, and be intrigued....
This system has served me well for a year and a half now. Love makes
the world go round, you know.
-Echo
"As my grandmother used to say: Hey, you're the one with the pussy.
What are you knocking yourself out for? Let 'em get on their knees and
beg." -Susan Jane Gilman