Instant Review: Goya brand Jamaican Style Ginger Beer
Ben Allard
binge with some high-fructose corn syrup. I'm in the hispanic foods
section, browsing the Refresco GOYA isle because, hey, cheap and also
you freaks have me all 'into' foreign foods now. I pick up a
Strawberry Soda, and decide to try something new. Noticing a whole
shelf full of the Ginger Beer flavor, I decide to buy one. At this
point, and even though the label is ENTIERLY in English, my thought
process goes something like this: "hmm, GOYA [foo] [foo] [foo] Beer,
oh beer soda, must be root beer because all mexican food is just
american food only spelled different".
So I get back to my room, down a medium coffee, and figure I'll give
the new soda a taste. Now, imagine the biggest ginger root you have
ever seen. Now try to imagine one ten times bigger cramming its fist
into your face and punching you right in the tastebuds. And neither
the Strawberry Soda nor the remaining sips of coffee could cure the
burning.
The subsequent sips haven't been that bad, either because the soda
reacts badly with Honey Dew coffee or else ginger oil floats. Pretty
much a strong ginger ale with burning. Thumbs neither way. With
each sip the chances that I won't finish the bottle decrease, except
it just shot a burning spark of carbonated pain searing into my right
eye. CURSES!
--ben
Jeremy Impson
[...]
> So I get back to my room, down a medium coffee, and figure I'll give
> the new soda a taste. Now, imagine the biggest ginger root you have
> ever seen. Now try to imagine one ten times bigger cramming its fist
> into your face and punching you right in the tastebuds. And neither
> the Strawberry Soda nor the remaining sips of coffee could cure the
> burning.
[...]
There's another brand (other than Goya) who makes a stronger version. But
I can't find it anymore.
The first time I opened a bottle of ginger beer, I stuck my nose over the
openeing and took a whiff. Whew! I looked at my father and said "it
smells strong!"
He said "Your eyes are bloodshot."
Anyways. One time I was buying ginger beer, and the cashier kid was all
"oh, you are totally underage for buying beer, but I'll let you by *wink
wink*." I told him it wasn't alcholic; it was like root beer. He was all
"yeah sure, *wink wink*"
'S the best tasting soap-like soda EVAH.
--Jeremy
--
Jeremy Impson
jdim...@acm.org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson
Glenn Knickerbocker
> So I get back to my room, down a medium coffee, and figure I'll give
Are you John Malkovich? Most people's rooms are down hallways.
> the new soda a taste. Now, imagine the biggest ginger root you have
> ever seen. Now try to imagine one ten times bigger cramming its fist
> into your face and punching you right in the tastebuds.
I heartily endorse this product and/or service. YeowUM!
ŹR
tube amp guy
> oh beer soda, must be root beer because all mexican food is just
> american food only spelled different".
You should try another product in the Goya Line, Malta Goya - Tastes
like what I imagine the sludge in the bottom of the beer vats would
taste like when mixed with a pound of cane sugar in 16 oz. and
carbonated. It is the only soda I have every not finished.
That includes salty plum soda I got in a Vietnamese restaurant that
tasted like an IV drip with a plum in the bottom of it. They ain't
kidding when they call it salty plum.
> each sip the chances that I won't finish the bottle decrease, except
> it just shot a burning spark of carbonated pain searing into my right
> eye. CURSES!
This is really good for clearing the sinuses.
Eb Oesch
There's other, less hot Jamaican ginger beers that taste more strongly
of ginger, and there's fancy shmancy Blenheim's, which is very hot AND
tastes strongly of ginger. By the way, don't get capsicum in your
lungs because it hurts.
Paula
I won't tell you that my four year old has been downing ginger beer
since she was two. Wuss.
--
Paula
My lines are too short to netbox with Kibo.
"Nobody is the most beautiful. They just
think they are." ---Mimi, age 4
Ben Allard
> I won't tell you that my four year old has been downing ginger
> beer since she was two. Wuss.
Oh no! My robotical brane, she EXPLODE!
--ben
Zixia
> I won't tell you that my four year old has been downing ginger beer
> since she was two. Wuss.
Surely she must have at least stopped for toilet breaks?
--
@+-------------+@
_o)| I can see |(o_
/\\| Invisible |//\
_\_V|_____________|V_/_
Joseph Michael Bay
Only the first few times.
"Hey ladies, how about the three of us go back to my van?"
--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
www.stanford.edu/~jmbay/
t3H quIc/< 6roWn Ph0x0r jUmP3D ovER T3h 14zY do9 !( @|=>
It Was Like That When I Got Here
Joseph Michael Bay
By "INSTANT" I mean "REALLY LONG, LIKE KIBO TALKING ABOUT STAR MARKET,
BUT SLIGHTLY LESS BORING".
>So I'm at the Chopper, looking to augment my late-nite homework type
>binge ...
>So I get back to my room, down a medium coffee, and figure I'll give
>the new soda a taste. Now, imagine the biggest ginger root you have
>ever seen. Now try to imagine one ten times bigger cramming its fist
>into your face and punching you right in the tastebuds.
Also, it's trying to deter your advances with pepper spray.
There's more gingery ginger beers, but for spiciness and
cheapness it's hard to beat Goya. It's also hard to find,
out here, which is odd because supposedly many people are
Mexican. Goya does not appear to have a large market presence
in this area.