God and curses
James Kibo Parry
Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net) wrote:
>
> Terrorists took over a ship. At least 1 person was killed. May be that
> happened because there was a curse or may be that started a curse.
>
> The curse destroyed the ship. It is now under about 2 miles of water.
DO-IT-YOURSELF KURT STOCKLMEIR CONSTRUCTION KIT
(Some generic event) once happened. Some of the people there were
(bad/killed/slime). This caused a curse on (me/people/God/my theories).
I am (good/bad/slime) at (physics/curses). Maybe (God/I/slime) put a curse
on (some generic class of object, event, or abstract concept).
(Bad/good) people (do/do not) like my theories because they are (slime/slimes).
I do not like to date girls who (mash/crush) the (bones/bodies/blood) of
(animals/slime) between their (teeth/thighs). (Slime/People) are (bad/slime).
PLUG IN RANDOM WORDS. THEN REPEAT WITH DIFFERENT WORDS ONCE A DAY.
-- K.
DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN OR THERE
WILL BE A CURSE ON SOME PEOPLE
SOMEWHERE FOR SOME REASON.
THE CURSE WILL BE BAD BUT NOT
OTHERWISE SPECIFIC. POSSIBLY
A FUNNY SMELL OR SOMETHING.
Luke Breinig
You may be interested to know that while you were away I discovered the
secret to Kurt's seemingly cryptic, yet totally unintelligible posts
(see "Kurt Stocklmeir is weird"). Now someone just needs to come up
with a bot that generates all those random words automatically.
Otherwise one may break his or her brane trying to put things together
that have nothing to do with one another -- or worse, make sense.
> DO-IT-YOURSELF KURT STOCKLMEIR CONSTRUCTION KIT
I want to play!
> The stock market crash of 1929 once happened. Some of the people there were
> killed. This caused a curse on God.
> I am slime at physics. Maybe slime put a curse
> on the war of 1812.
> good people do not like my theories because they are slimes.
> I do not like to date girls who mash the bones of
> slime between their thighs. Slime are bad.
Has anyone else noticed the similarities between Kurt's posts and Mad
Libs, except that Mad Libs usually make more sense because they specify
what part of speech is to be filled in.
-Luke
P.S. You forgot to put "weird" in there somewhere. It is usually
interchangeable with "slime" or "bad."
Joe Manfre
Parry) wrote:
>In alt.sci.physics.new-theories,
>Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net) wrote:
>>
>> Terrorists took over a ship. At least 1 person was killed. May be that
^^^^^^
>> happened because there was a curse or may be that started a curse.
>>
>> The curse destroyed the ship. It is now under about 2 miles of water.
>
>DO-IT-YOURSELF KURT STOCKLMEIR CONSTRUCTION KIT
>
>(Some generic event) once happened. Some of the people there were
>(bad/killed/slime). This caused a curse on (me/people/God/my theories).
>I am (good/bad/slime) at (physics/curses). Maybe (God/I/slime) put a curse
^^^^^
The only problem is you forgot to stick in the space between
"may" and "be." Kurt never says "maybe," he always says
"may be." It's been driving me crazy forever.
JM
p.s. Has anyone here tried to figure out how old Kurt is
yet? I'm guessing no more than 14 years.
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland.
"[E]ven though Joe Manfre appears to be a complete
lunatic, he might be right." -- Beable van Polasm
Matthew J McIrvin
Manfre) wrote:
>p.s. Has anyone here tried to figure out how old Kurt is
>yet? I'm guessing no more than 14 years.
Then he'd have to have been something like 7 or 8 years old when he
started posting to Usenet.
--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
David DeLaney
>man...@flash.net (Joe Manfre) wrote:
>>p.s. Has anyone here tried to figure out how old Kurt is
>>yet? I'm guessing no more than 14 years.
>
>Then he'd have to have been something like 7 or 8 years old when he
>started posting to Usenet.
Not necessarily. Like Jack Benny, some people hit 14 years old and -stick-
there.
Dave "i, of course, is only fwee yeaws old!" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
David DeLaney
>Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net) wrote:
>> I DO NOT WANT MY THEORIES ON A PAGE CREATED BY SLIME.
>>
>> THE SLIME CAN PUT THEIR OWN THEORIES ON THEIR OWN PAGE.
This are my favorite pair of ALL CAPS sentences this week. Like Alice, they're
filling my head with all sorts of ideas, only I don't know what any of them
are! Help me, Obi-Wan Joe Bay! Help me, Darla!
>> IF I WANT TO GET FAMOUS I WILL CREATE MY OWN PAGE AND I WILL PUT MY OWN
>> THEORIES ON IT.
>
>So you're saying you've discovered the Web?
In a pile of slime! Created by goats!
>Oh, joy! Someday maybe Kurt will actually put up a Web page!
>I can just envision the HTML:
I don't want to read any further thank you.
...But something is compelling me to! Help! I've been slimed!
> "I think that <SLIME>physics</SLIME> people are <SLIME>slime</SLIME>
> especially when I see <SLIME>John Baez</SLIME> because whenever
> I pass him in the hall he refuses to <SLIME>SMILE</SLIME>..."
Waaaaah! Kibo broke Interslimenet Expslimer 7.6 and it isn't even invented yet!
Plus the smell-o-rama versions of the Web are suddenly taking on a much more
horrible cast!
Dave "backpedalling frantically from THE FUTURE, which is Already In Progress!"
James Kibo Parry
>
> I would like any theory of mine to be erased from the physics faq. I think
> that is fair.
Um.
Where in the FAQ did you say your theories were?
> I think a lot of people did not get together and give power to a small
> number of people to create a physics faq.
>
> Let them create a page. Let them try to get famous. Let them jump off a
> high place. I do not care a lot. But I do not want to be associated with
> them. I do not want any of my theories on their page.
>
> Let them put their theories on their page. Let John Baez put his theories
> on the physics faq. Let Matt I. put his theories on the physics faq. I
> think a lot of people would like John Baez to add to the physics faq
> theories about quantum gravity. It is fair if he uses his own theories.
> JUST DO NOT USE MY THEORIES.
>
> I just do not want any of my theories on their page. If I want my theories
> on the internet I will create a page for them.
I promise I will never put any of your theories on my Web page because
you have never ever told anyone what any of your theories are.
All we know is that they're really cool and God has cursed them because
he's jealous of you.
> God has created a curse against these physics groups. Most of the people
> associated with the physics faq are not nice. That is punishment to you
> girls and boys. You asked for it. God uses bad people to punish people.
>
> I think it is good that most of the people associated with the physics faq
> are bad. I am not trying to change that. But if they will not erase my
> theory or theories girls and boys need to get together and create a new
> physics faq.
Please tell us what your theory or theories is or are so that we will
know to avoid it if we see it or them, if it or they exist.
> God is pure. God is fair. God will create justice. If they do not erase
> my theory or theories and if girls and boys do not get together and create
> a new physics faq God will punish girls and boys extra. Girls and boys
> will get what they ask for. That is fair. Girls and boys will be guilty
> if they do not do their small part to fight dishonest people.
>
> Around 1992 2 of 11 questions for the physics faq were my theories.
So, your two theories are questions? Like these? Which I am writing now?
HA! I JUST PUT *THREE* PHYSICS THEORIES ON A SINGLE LINE! I WIN!
I guess that beats your theories? Whatever they are? Right? Well?
> God will make things go bad for bad people. God will make things go bad
> for people associated with bad people. God will make things go bad for
> people who do not create justice.
>
> God will make things go extra bad for you girls and boys if my theory or
> theories are not erased and you girls and boys do not create a new physics
> faq. God will make it happen. Blame only you. It will be your fault.
>
> At the end people get what they are suppose to.
>
> I DO NOT WANT MY THEORIES ON A PAGE CREATED BY SLIME.
>
> THE SLIME CAN PUT THEIR OWN THEORIES ON THEIR OWN PAGE.
>
> IF I WANT TO GET FAMOUS I WILL CREATE MY OWN PAGE AND I WILL PUT MY OWN
> THEORIES ON IT.
So you're saying you've discovered the Web?
Oh, joy! Someday maybe Kurt will actually put up a Web page!
I can just envision the HTML:
"I think that <SLIME>physics</SLIME> people are <SLIME>slime</SLIME>
especially when I see <SLIME>John Baez</SLIME> because whenever
I pass him in the hall he refuses to <SLIME>SMILE</SLIME>..."
-- K.
It would be great if there
were two evil people named
Emil so that Kurt could
keep using the phrase
"EMILS SLIME" because physics
needs more palindromes.
Joe Manfre
Parry) wrote:
>In alt.sci.physics.new-theories,
>Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net) wrote:
>> Let them put their theories on their page. Let John Baez put his theories
>> on the physics faq. Let Matt I. put his theories on the physics faq. I
>> think a lot of people would like John Baez to add to the physics faq
>> theories about quantum gravity. It is fair if he uses his own theories.
>> JUST DO NOT USE MY THEORIES.
>>
>> I just do not want any of my theories on their page. If I want my theories
>> on the internet I will create a page for them.
>
>I promise I will never put any of your theories on my Web page because
>you have never ever told anyone what any of your theories are.
>All we know is that they're really cool and God has cursed them because
>he's jealous of you.
I'm starting to wonder if maybe (I mean may be) Kurt is trying
some of that reverse-psychology stuff Archie Plutonium used to
talk about in the days when he used to rant about
searchenginebombing all the time. Remember, Archie said that
if he wanted everyone to searchenginebomb him, he would go on
alt.religion.kibology and whine and whine about how he *didn't*
want to be searchenginebombed, because then all the Kibologists
would searchenginebomb him, thinking they were doing what he
didn't want them to do, but really they would be doing what he
did want them to do, because Archie is clever and smart because
of his plutonium atom.
So Kurt would say something like this:
- I think people want to searchenginebomb me. These people
- who want to do this are slime. I do not want slime to
- searchenginebomb me. Girls and boys should get together
- to fight the slime that would searchenginebomb me. I
- think may be God has put a curse on searchengines. That
- is why it is so easy for slime to use them to searchenginebomb
- me.
- James Kibo and all the other slime would say Kurt Stocklmeir
- all the time and put Kurt Stocklmeir down at the bottom of
- their posts. May be they would say my theories in their posts.
- Then girls and boys who want to see my theories would not be
- able to see them. I think God has put a curse on my theories.
And on and on and on, because then everybody would commence
searchenginebombing him and his persecution complex would once
again be fulfilled.
JM
p.s. Look, Beable! Armchair psychological diagnosis 'R' us!
EL
Hi Kibo
You wrote:
"I think that <SLIME>physics</SLIME> people are
<SLIME>slime</SLIME>
especially when I see <SLIME>John Baez</SLIME> because whenever
I pass him in the hall he refuses to <SLIME>SMILE</SLIME>..."
[EL]
I was thinking when I sow this that I should find <\Back SLIME>
somewhere. :-) My desk is shaking now, no not an earthquake but
my wife is worried about me laughing to the monitor. :-)
RegardZ
EL Hemetis :-)
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
Karlo Takki
<kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> God is pure. God is fair. God will create justice. If they do not erase
> my theory or theories and if girls and boys do not get together and create
> a new physics faq God will punish girls and boys extra. Girls and boys
> will get what they ask for. That is fair. Girls and boys will be guilty
> if they do not do their small part to fight dishonest people.
The girls don't want to play like that, they just want to talk to the boys.
The just want to do what is in their hearts, and the girls want to be with
the girls. And the boys say, "What do you mean?" Well there is just no
love, when there's boys and girls. And the girls want to be with the girls..
Girls want things that make common sense, the best for all concerned.
They don't want to have to go out of their way, and the girls want to be
with the girls. Girls are getting into abstract analysis, they want to make
intuitive leap. They are making plans that have far reaching effects.
And the girls want to be with the girls.
Sincerely,
David Byrne
RISD '75
--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank
JeffMo
>In article <01bfc10e$86aab2e0$822b4f0c@oemcomputer>, "Kurt Stocklmeir"
><kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
>> God is pure. God is fair. God will create justice. If they do not erase
>> my theory or theories and if girls and boys do not get together and create
>> a new physics faq God will punish girls and boys extra. Girls and boys
>> will get what they ask for. That is fair. Girls and boys will be guilty
>> if they do not do their small part to fight dishonest people.
>
>The girls don't want to play like that, they just want to talk to the boys.
>The just want to do what is in their hearts, and the girls want to be with
>the girls. And the boys say, "What do you mean?" Well there is just no
>love, when there's boys and girls. And the girls want to be with the girls..
>Girls want things that make common sense, the best for all concerned.
>They don't want to have to go out of their way, and the girls want to be
>with the girls. Girls are getting into abstract analysis, they want to make
>intuitive leap. They are making plans that have far reaching effects.
>And the girls want to be with the girls.
This rules.
JeffMo
"Just because you read a few mythology books, doesn't mean there really isn't a One Universal Creator God.... ." -- smart1234
"And just because you read a few mythology books, doesn't mean there really is." -- JeffMo
Joe Manfre
<lbre...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>Your nonspecific theories have been removed from the physics faq. In a
>secret meeting that no one knew about a bunch of nonspecific slimes have
>voted to replace your theories with two theories developed and tested
>entirely by lizards (even though they are not suppose to know about
>physics). The secret new revised physics faq can be found on a super
>secret web site that no one knows about. It is also available at
>several nonexistent mirror sites.
And it's about God-cursed time, too.
JM
p.s. May be God really *did* put a curse on time, which is
what makes it fly when you're having fun, because then it
can't stick around to have fun with you, and has to fly
away somewhere where someone is having a boring time, and
stay there with them!
p.p.s. Please do not put my above theory in the faq, slime.
Because it is derived from Einstein's explanation of
relativity as being something like sitting on a bench with
a pretty girl, and it will be part of my proof of God. Just
as soon as I find a girl on a bench who does not have the
blood of animals in her mouth and the slime of Animal 57 in
her hair.
Slavek Krepelka
Joe Manfre wrote:
> --
> Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland.
> "[E]ven though Joe Manfre appears to be a complete
> lunatic, he might be right." -- Beable van Polasm
Are you sure it was not Babble one Orgasm?
Slavek.
James Kibo Parry
> Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net) wrote:
> >
> > I am looking for sci.physics between 1988 and 1992.
>
> 1988 sci.physics 1992
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Found it!
ITZA WHATZIT!
I can just see it now... Kurt is going to run into the Nobel Prize
committee's office screaming "I HAVE PROVED MY THEORY IN THE FORM OF A
WHATZIT! I DEMAND THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR WHATZITSTRY, AND ALSO A NOBEL
PRIZE FOR ALMOST SOLVING THE JUNIOR JUMBLE!"
Although, I think the Nobel Prize For Whatzitstry would probably go to
some other scientist who drew the Whatzit, like Isaac Asimov.
> > My normal method of protecting theories that God sent to me is to write a
> > paper and get it notarized.
>
> The only problem with this is that it's a little hard to tell the
> difference between one of Kurt's theories and a finger painting.
Well, if it looks like a finger painting, it's probably a finger painting.
On the other hand, if it looks like a finger painting drawn with someone's
butt, then it's Kurt's theory. No idea whose butt, though.
> > I guess that proves I created the theory
>
> Or that you had a notary stamp a finger painting.
>
> > letting God do all the work and people can not see it. Some times I throw
> > a lot of theories together. That could cause me trouble.
>
> Like the time you combined your theory about religion with your theory
> about plutonium and... Whoops wrong kook, sorry!
It could be a theory about plutonium and slime, and thus be applicable
to both of them.
If we worked hard enough, we could come up with a theory which would be
equally valid for all the mad scientists of the Internet, something
about slimy cube-shaped plutonium that won't let people masturbate,
and then Archie could accuse us of "searchenginecarpetbombing".
> > I guess if I want to prove I created a theory I kind of need to let
> > people see the whole paper may be. But may be they will be able to
> > see a lot of theories that I do not want them to see.
>
> Dumb question #1: If you never let anyone else see your theories,
> doesn't that make it a little hard to steal them.
Dumb question #2: Could we please stop the Internet until Kurt actually
mentions what his theory concerns?
We don't even know if it's a new law of physics, or a new shape for
the DNA molecule, or a new moon which we can't see because it's
always directly behind the Earth, or a new sub-atomic particle that beeps,
or a recipe for Mock Ritz Cracker pie.
He's in that strange camp with several of the other mad scientists who
have an incredibly vitally important theory that their theory is incredibly
vitally important, but nobody else can ever FIND the theory!
I CAN'T DISPROVE IT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST! THEREFORE HIS IMAGINARY
THEORY MUST BE TRUE! WAAH! NOW I HAVE TO OBEY THE NEW REWRITTEN LAWS
OF PHYSICS AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE! (I hope they don't say
anything about gravity making you fall upwards into custard.)
> > I can prove I created a theory but I can not let people see the proof
> > most of the time because I want to cover up most of my theories.
>
> So... you can only prove your theories to yourself?
>
> Is it just me or does that last sentence contain a contradiction?
Maybe he's just trying to prove that he's covering up the proof that
he's covering up his incredibly massively awesomely importantly important
theory, which he can't tell us what it is.
> > It may be could help me if I can find sci.physics between 1988 and 1992.
And which he didn't bother writing down anywhere except on the Internet
and then forgot about for ten years.
> > Of course God created a curse against any theory God sent to me except may
> > be theories that help God.
>
> So... God sends you cursed theories? Have you ever thought that may be
> God is cursed?
Maybe if God sends Kurt evil theories, he should try getting some
happy theories from Satan, since Kurt lives in The Backwards Universe.
> > Forever there will be a curse against any
> > person who talks about any of those theories or uses any of those theories.
>
> Okay, let me get this straight:
>
> 1) God gives you a theory
> 2) You write it down and have it notarized
> 3) Since the theory is cursed, you hide it
> 4) Slimes steal your theories
> 5) Slimes are cursed
> 6) You forget what your theories were.
>
> Please help me out here...
>
> -Luke
I think it's more like
1) God is slime.
2) God handed me a theory.
3) I dropped it on the floor and it broke.
4) God gave me a replacement theory.
5) I let go of the string and it went up and up and Daddy wouldn't
get it down for me even though it was right overhead in the sky.
6) Maybe my theory is cursed even though I don't know what it is
7) Can anyone help me figure out what my theory is?
8) I think I said something to someone somewhere on the disposable
part of the Internet ten years ago.
-- K.
Although that assumes
he can count to eight.
El Choco Diablo
On Mon, 22 May 2000, Comrade James "Kibo" Parry declared:
} Luke Breinig (lbre...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
} > Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtsto...@worldnet.att.net) wrote:
} > > Of course God created a curse against any theory God sent to me except may
} > > be theories that help God.
} >
} > So... God sends you cursed theories? Have you ever thought that may be
} > God is cursed?
}
} Maybe if God sends Kurt evil theories, he should try getting some
} happy theories from Satan, since Kurt lives in The Backwards Universe.
So does that mean Kurt looks exactly like Archimedes Plutonium except
he has a satin cape and a goatee beard?
JIM, whose Backwards Universe counterpart fantasizes about
Uhura
--
The JIM Experience - http://welcome.to/the_jim_experience
Episode 18 - Deuterium Boy and the Parrot Galahad