Damn weird dreams I had
Lots42 The Library Avenger
to the second LOTR book. For some reason the Ring had to be taken back to the
Shire to be destroyed. It managed to get there but Legolas and Sam didn't come.
They weren't dead, they had just decided to run off together and join the
circus.
In the second dream, all eight divisions of Disney (I don't know if they were
eight) were having their annual meeting at my place. One of the divisions was
G.I.Joe and the CEO was Chuck, an old friend from the youth group at a church I
went to. I talked to him for a bit and he gave me a business card so I could
call up and apply for one of the creative positions...
I learned that the Avengers (Marvel comics was a seperate division) and G.I.Joe
were both going to do epic stories that would kill off tons of extraneous
characters. I was looking forward to weirdos like Rage and Stingray to die
horribly but I didn't want any G.I.Joes to die.
After the meeting I had two new computers. A desk top and the most powerful
laptop on the market. They were so cool.
John D Salt
news:20030531160030...@mb-m12.aol.com:
> I dreamnt two dreams last night. One was confusing but it
> was a different plot to the second LOTR book.
[Snips]
> In the second dream, all eight divisions of Disney
Coo, you are going to be in SO MUCH FUCKIGN TROUBLE when the
Dream Police start enforcing intellectual copyright in yore
dreams.
Not to mention when Bill Gates starts downloading the
WinHypno2005 Key Manager Wizard to your head and siphoning off
tiny slivers of your soul in licence fees.
All the best,
John "I'm dead, I know these things" Salt.
David DeLaney
>lot...@aol.comaol.com (Lots42 The Library Avenger ) wrote in
>news:20030531160030...@mb-m12.aol.com:
>> I dreamnt two dreams last night. One was confusing but it
>> was a different plot to the second LOTR book.
>[Snips]
>> In the second dream, all eight divisions of Disney
>
>Coo, you are going to be in SO MUCH FUCKIGN TROUBLE when the
>Dream Police start enforcing intellectual copyright in yore dreams.
Whereas I remember the details of the last dream I dreamed this afternoon
(going to bed at 6am does that to you), but since it was a) erotic, b)
for some reason involved bicycles, a caveman, and a badly-needed massage,
and c) caused me to wake up screaming because my leg, picking up on the
"okay, all his muscles are just -about- to tense up, guess it's time to
CRAMP LIKE THE DICKENS" brane message, did so, I'm not going to share them.
[Even though, once my eyes had flown open in pain, the actual physical
evidence showed I was nowhere near the point where, over the last few years,
I've learnt I have to keep an ear open, so to speak, for a leg cramp at
JUST the wrong moment, said leg - always the left one - cramped, so now
seven hours later I'm sitting slightly gingerly, Aware Of The Knot In My
Leg which is still twitching in a "pay attention here, boy, I'm any moment
gonna turn into a screaming-in-pain TWIST" manner, and probably will for
the next day or so. (But you try to tell teenagers these days this and
they look at you like they're immortal or something.)]
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
John D Salt
news:slrnbdinu...@gatekeeper.vic.com:
> John D Salt <john...@NOSPAM.btclick.com> wrote:
[Snips]
>>Coo, you are going to be in SO MUCH FUCKIGN TROUBLE when the
>>Dream Police start enforcing intellectual copyright in yore
>>dreams.
>
> Whereas I remember the details of the last dream I dreamed
> this afternoon (going to bed at 6am does that to you), but
> since it was a) erotic,
Please to be downloading BraneKleen(tm) erotic-dream blocker from
the MicroSoftPornAway web site, very good, very effective, all
erotic images replaced by sepia picture of Queen Victoria, uses
linear congruential Farnsworth-Cake algorithm, they make you good
price.
All the best,
John.
spot the robot
You're worried for nothing. If these things were remotely possible or even
marginally impossible darpa would be getting billions of our future tax dollars
to develop them and the papers would report it to us and we'd have forgotten all
about it by now. Relax, have a drink.
David DeLaney
>> this afternoon (going to bed at 6am does that to you), but
>> since it was a) erotic,
>
>Please to be downloading BraneKleen(tm) erotic-dream blocker from
>the MicroSoftPornAway web site, very good, very effective, all
>erotic images replaced by sepia picture of Queen Victoria, uses
>linear congruential Farnsworth-Cake algorithm, they make you good price.
But as I want to neither a) be thinking of England's queens whilst I am
lying back, nor b) be sleeping hooked up to a Difference Engine [it's bad
enough when you have to use an abacus IN BED, you know], I don't think
this will meat [ha!] my dreaming-video needs effectively. I DON'T LIKE
THIS SALESMAN, IS THERE ANOTHER ONE BACK THERE?
Dave "besides, MS PornAway only gets rid of MS Porn, and even then not too
effectively allowing for version differences" DeLaney
Jeremy Impson
> [...] c) caused me to wake up screaming because my leg, picking up on
> the "okay, all his muscles are just -about- to tense up, guess it's time
> to CRAMP LIKE THE DICKENS" brane message, did so, I'm not going to share
> them.
Painful night-time-screaming leg cramps are God's way of telling you that
you need to get more EXERCISE!
--Jeremy
--
Jeremy Impson
jdim...@acm.org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson
Tim Chmielelewski
>[snippedy-do-dah]
I dreamt that the alarm clock was just about to go off and it did, waking
me up.
Thanks.
--
My Tomorrow Series & Hong Kong Movie Reviews Site
http://members.dcsi.net.au/chuma/
Dean Lenort
> On 31 May 2003, David DeLaney wrote:
>
> > [...] c) caused me to wake up screaming because my leg, picking up on
> > the "okay, all his muscles are just -about- to tense up, guess it's time
> > to CRAMP LIKE THE DICKENS" brane message, did so, I'm not going to share
> > them.
>
> Painful night-time-screaming leg cramps are God's way of telling you that
> you need to get more EXERCISE!
The very worst leg cramps I ever encountered were after playing pick-up
basketball for a couple of hours in the afternoon and then a game or two of
league play later that night. The leg cramps that came a-calling that
night were frequent, painful, and made walking extremely difficult for the
next day or so.
I HAVE SHATTERED YOUR THEORY UPON THE ROCKS OF ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE THEREBY
PROVING YOU TO BE KNAVE AND A FOOL! OF SCIENCE!
--
Dean Lenort | Do Kibologists dream of electric dolphins,
dean....@att.net | or of inflatable sheep? -- K.
Glenn Knickerbocker
>Painful night-time-screaming leg cramps are God's way of telling you that
>you need to get more EXERCISE!
I got plenty of leg cramps back when I went contradancing almost every
week. Now that I get almost no exercise and eat plenty of bananas, I
can't remember the last time I had one. Whether this has more to do with
the state of my muscles or that of my memory is left as an (ahem)
exercise for the reader.
ŹR Plus meditandum, minus misculandum.
(Marty Shapiro, deftly translated by Sean Fitzpatrick)
David DeLaney
>On 31 May 2003, David DeLaney wrote:
>> [...] c) caused me to wake up screaming because my leg, picking up on
>> the "okay, all his muscles are just -about- to tense up, guess it's time
>> to CRAMP LIKE THE DICKENS" brane message, did so, I'm not going to share
>> them.
>
>Painful night-time-screaming leg cramps are God's way of telling you that
>you need to get more EXERCISE!
Or EAT A BANANA!, I'm told. (IDNM'BONOBO',TYVM.)
But this was a painful midafternoon-screaming leg cramp, and USUALLY they're
painful early-mid-morning-screaming leg cramps. (Not very often, but when
they do I think I'm paying the neighbors on one side back for being Occasional
Wallbangers.)
Dave "things they DID NOT TELL YOU ABOUT IN HEALTH CLASS as part of getting
Old" DeLaney
David DeLaney
>lot...@aol.comaol.com (Lots42 The Library Avenger ) wrote in
>
>I dreamt that the alarm clock was just about to go off and it did, waking
>me up.
My alarm clock clicks audibly about six seconds before the alarm goes off.
The click now wakes me up at least some of the time.
>Thanks.
Y'welcome.
Dave "Y'all come back, here?" DeLaney
Jeremy Impson
On Sun, 1 Jun 2003, Glenn Knickerbocker wrote:
> On Sun, 01 Jun 2003 21:28:25 GMT, Jeremy Impson wrote:
> >Painful night-time-screaming leg cramps are God's way of telling you
> >that you need to get more EXERCISE!
>
> I got plenty of leg cramps back when I went contradancing almost every
> week. Now that I get almost no exercise and eat plenty of bananas, I
> can't remember the last time I had one. Whether this has more to do
> with the state of my muscles or that of my memory is left as an (ahem)
> exercise for the reader.
And then on Mon, 2 Jun 2003, Dean Lenort wrote:
[...]
> The very worst leg cramps I ever encountered were after playing pick-up
> basketball for a couple of hours in the afternoon and then a game or two
> of league play later that night. The leg cramps that came a-calling
> that night were frequent, painful, and made walking extremely difficult
> for the next day or so.
>
> I HAVE SHATTERED YOUR THEORY UPON THE ROCKS OF ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE
> THEREBY PROVING YOU TO BE KNAVE AND A FOOL! OF SCIENCE!
I DIDN'T say "leg cramps are God's way of telling Dave Delaney, Glennn
Knickerbocker, and Dean Lenort that they all need to get more EXERCISE!"
It was a personal message from God to DAVE ONLY, as channeled through ME,
your friendly ARK-Angel.
Glenn Knickerbocker
> can't remember the last time I had one. Whether this has more to do with
> the state of my muscles or that of my memory is left as an (ahem)
> exercise for the reader.
Said exercise may be simplified significantly by addition of the fact
that I had a painful leg cramp as soon as I got up from the computer
last night and went to bed.
ŹR
Rich Holmes
BWAAH HAAH HAAH HAAAAH!!!
--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes <http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/>
"We're waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool says to push on." -- Pete Seeger
Joel K. 'Jay' Furr
news:u4he78o...@mep1.phy.syr.edu:
> BWAAH HAAH HAAH HAAAAH!!!
^--------- mating cry of the North American geek sloth bird
Zixia
>
> I dreamt that the alarm clock was just about to go off and it did, waking
> me up.
Pah, that's NOTHING! A couple of months back I had a dream that I had
discovered an alternative to gravity, one that didn't have complicated
formulae jutting out at awkward angles. I was to present this amazing
revelation to the Royal Institution to a stunned yet awed audience, on
the very day I was also to receive the Nobel Prize for Physics as well
as the Nobel Prize for Maths, which they made up just for me so they'd
never present it again ever, before being knighted by Her Majesty Kate
Beckinsale who would ask me to be her King, so impressed was she.
However, on my way to the RI, the tube train I was travelling on--I am
still humble enough at this point to travel with the plebs--suffered a
malfunction that caused it to accelerate uncontrollably, as it started
to speed its way through station after station, seemingly headed for a
messy end at the Terminus. Completely unruffled, I calmly made my way
through the carriages to the driver's cabin positioned at the front of
the train, where the driver recognised me, no doubt having seen myriad
photographs of me in the daily press for the past few weeks.
The driver welcomed me in to the cabin and asked if there was anything
that I may be able to do to help. Well, before he had even spoken the
few words he uttered, my fingers were prising the control panel up and
away from the dashboard. It took me a few seconds, but eventually the
panel was rewired with the new gravity equations. As I turned the new
dial that I had fashioned, MacGyver-style, out of an ordinary hair-pin,
the new gravity equations kicked in and the train not only slowed down
but it also become 100% efficient with its electricity usage, owing to
the now negligible effect of gravity on the electrons zooming all over
the place, which was just something I did to show off.
Having averted that disaster, I snuck out of the train to continue the
journey using my iPod-sized rocket pack that I had just remembered had
put in to my pocket just the night before. This was handy, in that it
allowed me to escape the adulation of the passengers, which can get to
be a little tedious after a while. The rest of my journey was more or
less uneventful, apart from taking time to guide a Boeing 747 down the
flight path after the captain and co-pilot had both eaten the fish for
their meal, even though this is against JAA regulations, besides which
the fish on international flights is never good so I have no idea WHAT
they were thinking when they made that choice.
Anyway, the lecture went rather well, I became a peer of the Realm and
then picked up my Prizes, before heading back to Buck House for a spot
of light afternoon tea. Which was nice.
And do you know what happened when I woke up, soon afterwards?
NOTHING! THE BLOODY DREAM LIED TO ME! IT -LIED- TO ME! BASTARD!
--
+--------------+
_o)| Not Dead |(o_
/\\| But Dreaming |//\
_\_V|______________|V_/_
John D Salt
news:bbg4p7$9997s$1...@ID-83085.news.dfncis.de:
[Snips]
Ah, but did you read the
WARRANTY DISCLAIMER:
The dream is provided to you free of charge, and on an "as-is"
basis. DreamDump Corp. provides no technical support or
warranties for the dream.
DreamDump Corp. and its suppliers disclaim all warranties and
representations, whether express, implied or dreamt, including
the warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular
purpose. Also, there is no warranty of non-infringement and
title or quiet enjoyment.
DreamDump Corp. does not warrant that the dream is error-free or
will operate without interruption. No rights or remedies
referred to in article 2A of the UCC will be conferred on you
unless expressly granted herein.
The dream is not designed, intended or licensed for use in
hazardous environments requiring fail-safe controls, including,
without limitation, the design, construction, maintenance or
operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or
communication systems, air traffic control, life support or
weapons systems. DreamDump Corp. specifically disclaims any
express or implied warranty of fitness for such purposes.
No oral or written information or advice given by DreamDump Corp,
its dealers, distributors, agents or employees shall create a
warranty or in any way increase the scope of any warranty
provided herein.
eh?
All the best,
John.
Glenn Knickerbocker
> Anyway, the lecture went rather well, I became a peer of the Realm and
> then picked up my Prizes, before heading back to Buck House for a spot
> of light afternoon tea. Which was nice.
>
> And do you know what happened when I woke up, soon afterwards?
Hmmm, let's see, you were lying awake, with a dismal headache, and
repose was taboo'd by anxiety; I conceive you might have used any
language you, um, choosed to indulge in, without impropriety?
¬R
Lots42 The Library Avenger
>that I had a painful leg cramp as soon as I got up from the computer
>last night and went to bed.
>
>ŹR
>
Once I walked down twelve flights of stairs and couldn't walk right for three
days.
Glenn Knickerbocker
> Once I walked down twelve flights of stairs and couldn't walk right for three
> days.
So you turned left and went to see Zoolander?
ŹR
Jeremy Impson
My work hear is dunn.
David DeLaney
>>Painful night-time-screaming leg cramps are God's way of telling you that
>>you need to get more EXERCISE!
>
>Or EAT A BANANA!, I'm told. (IDNM'BONOBO',TYVM.)
Followup to my followup to the followup: One bananana has been consumed.
(It was purchased at the local Pilot. The owner and founder of Pilot is
thinking seriously about running for mayor once our current mayor-for-life's
term squooshes against term limits next January.)
My legs are no longer anywhere near as nervous, and appear not to be cramping.
Or cramponed. The acidhead test, of course, won't be for another few hours...
Dave
David DeLaney
...
>No oral or written information or advice given by DreamDump Corp,
>its dealers, distributors, agents or employees shall create a
>warranty or in any way increase the scope of any warranty
>provided herein.
The first time I read through this WarrantyDisclaimer, there were angels
in it. I demand that more angels be given their rightful pride of place in
the safety warnings and fine print of this great nation(s).
Zixia
> Zixia <ab...@clu.org.uk> wrote in
You can't fool me, Gokmop Salt, IF THAT IS YOUR &c. You merely copied
the warning label printed on the back of every jar of Marmite, and you
simply changed the company name as required.
John D Salt
news:bbvgtk$cm2a4$1...@ID-83085.news.dfncis.de:
[Snips]
> You can't fool me, Gokmop Salt, IF THAT IS YOUR &c. You
> merely copied the warning label printed on the back of every
> jar of Marmite, and you simply changed the company name as
> required.
Watch it, sunshine, or you'll be hearing from that nice Mr.
Iscariot from my solicitors.
Apart from anything else, you are giving away valuable industrial
sekrits by revealing that everyone just copies the wording of
their warranties from the first Miscrosoft/Marmite/Really big
Stuff of America Corp product that comes to hand, changing the
company and product names as required.
Without prejudice, void where prohibited by law, terms &
conditions may apply, &c.
John.
TimC
> Zixia <ab...@clu.org.uk> wrote in
> news:bbvgtk$cm2a4$1...@ID-83085.news.dfncis.de:
>
> [Snips]
>> You can't fool me, Gokmop Salt, IF THAT IS YOUR &c. You
>> merely copied the warning label printed on the back of every
>> jar of Marmite, and you simply changed the company name as
>> required.
>
> Watch it, sunshine, or you'll be hearing from that nice Mr.
> Iscariot from my solicitors.
Is he a carrot?
--
TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
White dwarf seeks red giant star
TimC
>> BASTARD!
>
> Ah, but did you read the
>
> WARRANTY DISCLAIMER:
<snip doggy dog>
> No oral or written information or advice given by DreamDump Corp,
> its dealers, distributors, agents or employees shall create a
> warranty or in any way increase the scope of any warranty
> provided herein.
>
> eh?
>
> All the best,
>
> John.
What kind of dream EULA ends with
eh?
All the best,
John.
????
I don't think that is legally valid. Hence her dream has been rendered
null and void, and so her sleep dereferenced a null void* pointer, and
hence she oopsed all over the bed.
--
TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
cat ~/.signature
File size limit exceeded (core dumped)
William Burke
<slrn-0.9.7.4-14562-29885-200306132018-j.$random...@swin.edu.au>,
TimC <tcon...@no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:
> > Watch it, sunshine, or you'll be hearing from that nice Mr.
> > Iscariot from my solicitors.
>
> Is he a carrot?
this does not deserve a blamming.
SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT!
SQUIRT!
Dave DeLaney will have responded appropriately to this probably before I
actually post it.
--p
John D Salt
in
news:slrn-0.9.7.4-7526-29980-200306132021-j.$random.luser@swin.
edu.au:
> John D Salt (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely
> unlike tea:
[Snips]
> What kind of dream EULA ends with
> eh?
A Canadian one.
> I don't think that is legally valid. Hence her dream has
> been rendered null and void, and so her sleep dereferenced a
> null void* pointer, and hence she oopsed all over the bed.
...and here, kiddies, Timbolino explaniates for why people dream in
the first place. It is because people are programmed in crap
languages that support pointers and have such shite memory-
management that you have to spend 8 hours a day on off-line manual
garbage collection or they WIG OUT TOTALLY with a sleep-
deprivation-induced heap/stack collision.
I want me to be re-programmed in Simula so I have automatic garbage
collection, support for co-routines and type safety.
I want Bill Gates to be re-programmed in C#, just to show what a
fine language it's going to be.
All the best,
John.
TimC
> the first place. It is because people are programmed in crap
> languages that support pointers and have such shite memory-
> management that you have to spend 8 hours a day on off-line manual
> garbage collection or they WIG OUT TOTALLY with a sleep-
> deprivation-induced heap/stack collision.
>
> I want me to be re-programmed in Simula so I have automatic garbage
> collection, support for co-routines and type safety.
I was going to make a comment about wanting to be programmer in lisp,
but my function never returned.
--
TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
GNU/Happy 50th birthday RMS!
David DeLaney
> TimC <tcon...@no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:
>> > Watch it, sunshine, or you'll be hearing from that nice Mr.
>> > Iscariot from my solicitors.
>>
>> Is he a carrot?
>
>this does not deserve a blamming.
Agreed. It's more of a Highlights explanation.
>SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT!
>SQUIRT!
Ooo baby.
>Dave DeLaney will have responded appropriately to this probably before I
>actually post it.
SO MUCH RESPONDING APPROPRIATELY IT IS ALL OVER YOU SCREEN!
Dave "I'm "wiping off my screen" RIGHT NOW" DeLaney
Matt McIrvin
John D Salt <john...@NOSPAM.btclick.com> wrote:
> ...and here, kiddies, Timbolino explaniates for why people dream in
> the first place. It is because people are programmed in crap
> languages that support pointers and have such shite memory-
> management that you have to spend 8 hours a day on off-line manual
> garbage collection or they WIG OUT TOTALLY with a sleep-
> deprivation-induced heap/stack collision.
In a dream I had somehow traveled back in time a couple of years and
was wandering about one of the towers of the World Trade Center. It
may have been early morning; the building was deserted or nearly so,
and most of the halls and rooms were dark, but gray, misty light came
in through the windows.
I was on a vaguely defined research mission. The notion of changing
history never entered my mind. I became increasingly nervous as I
moved about, wondering about structural failure, looking for weaknesses
in the walls, imagining the whole tower buckling and coming down on me,
and thinking to myself: It won't happen today; it can't happen today.
You already know the exact day and hour.
In mounting, irrational terror I took the high-speed elevator down to
the ground-floor lobby and rode out the dream lying flat on my back on
a bench down there, thinking only of the unimaginable deadly mass of
the entire tower suspended above me, and the infinitely greater,
deadlier bulk of unchangeable fate hanging above me in spacetime.
And awoke, to pnly the coldest of reassurances: There is no such thing
as a time machine.
--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
John D Salt
news:mmcirvin-E15310.17442717062003@localhost:
[Snips]
> And awoke, to pnly the coldest of reassurances: There is no
> such thing as a time machine.
Pnly the coldest, but pnly there are colder.
But, hey, I don;t even know how to spin glink.
All the best,
John.
Joseph Michael Bay
...
>And awoke, to pnly the coldest of reassurances: There is no such thing
>as a time machine.
Not anymore, anyway. Frickin' "time cops".
--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
www.stanford.edu/~jmbay/ Program in Cancer Biology
Age 7 (ret), Mrs.
Lots42 The Library Avenger
>In a dream I had somehow traveled back in time a couple of years and
>was wandering about one of the towers of the World Trade Center. It
>may have been early morning; the building was deserted or nearly so,
>and most of the halls and rooms were dark, but gray, misty light came
>in through the windows.
>
>I was on a vaguely defined research mission. The notion of changing
>history never entered my mind. I became increasingly nervous as I
>moved about, wondering about structural failure, looking for weaknesses
>in the walls,
From what I've read, the whole place was built by gibbering incompetents
anyway.
You'd think an emergency staircase would say, lead straight down to the bottom
floor.
Nope. Not a damn chance.
And I wonder if ergonomics ever played a role in building the stairs.
I once walked down twelve flights and my ankles were killing me for three days.
Although, I guess that'd not be a worry if the place was coming down.
--
"Sheer, unadulterated panic is a policy?" - Overduemedia.com
"Lots is far too cuddly to be Satan Impersonated." - Tara
"There you go, apparently." - Prof. Farnsworth, 'Futurama'
James Kibo Parry
>
> In a dream I had somehow traveled back in time a couple of years and
> was wandering about one of the towers of the World Trade Center. It
> may have been early morning; the building was deserted or nearly so,
> and most of the halls and rooms were dark, but gray, misty light came
> in through the windows.
>
> I was on a vaguely defined research mission. The notion of changing
> history never entered my mind. I became increasingly nervous as I
> moved about, wondering about structural failure, looking for weaknesses
> in the walls, imagining the whole tower buckling and coming down on me,
> and thinking to myself: It won't happen today; it can't happen today.
> You already know the exact day and hour.
>
> In mounting, irrational terror I took the high-speed elevator down to
> the ground-floor lobby and rode out the dream lying flat on my back on
> a bench down there, thinking only of the unimaginable deadly mass of
> the entire tower suspended above me, and the infinitely greater,
> deadlier bulk of unchangeable fate hanging above me in spacetime.
>
> as a time machine.
Yes, but SOMEDAY there WILL be. And then they'll come back for you.
Especially because the future aliens will be thinking, "We like humans,
so we want to make all their dreams come true," so they'll have to
blow you up because they love you. In fact, in the Earth's original
space-time history, the World Trade Center didn't get blown up, but
the future aliens travelled back in time to make it happen just for you,
and everything that's happened since then has been all your fault.
This is why I can't wait until the aliens who did this invent their
time machine so that I can hijack it and travel back in time to kill
all your great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents, which will
hopefully not affect anyone else living today.
Also, kids, don't forget that someday someone will design a machine
that can display a sharp image of any place at any past time, meaning
that eventually everyone in the world will be able to see you naked,
and there will be nothing you can do about it because you'll be dead
before they all point and laugh at you taking a bubble bath.
-- K.
And I'm going to archive
this article just so that
future generations will know
that all of you folks take
funny-looking bubble baths.
David DeLaney
>From: Matt McIrvin mmci...@world.std.com
>>history never entered my mind. I became increasingly nervous as I
>>moved about, wondering about structural failure, looking for weaknesses
>>in the walls,
>
>From what I've read, the whole place was built by gibbering incompetents
>anyway.
>
>You'd think an emergency staircase would say, lead straight down to the bottom
>floor.
>
>Nope. Not a damn chance.
So, you're saying the weight of the library books had actually WARPED SPACE?
<re-reads>
Oh wait, world trade center, gotcha. Thought I was in the middle of a
dreaming-against-Don-Saklad thread, sorry, carry on.
>And I wonder if ergonomics ever played a role in building the stairs.
Dave "I've described the Warped Architectural Geometry in my dreams before,
sorry if it's contagious" DeLaney