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The Puppies Are Dead or All Dogs Go to Heaven

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robert lindsay

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Aug 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM8/25/99
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In article <37bc5184....@netnews.att.net>,
<Nicole...@att.net> wrote:
>The puppies are dead. It was the parvo
>what kilt em. And now they're dead and gone.
>Deader than a dead dog's doornail. More death and destruction for
>our state. But there's good news. Chip is still going
>to be able to afford SMU, buy books and maybe
>later, be able to be in a fraternity or something I don't
>know I didn't ask about that when I called the governor today.
>I would like to thank the governor's person for not hanging up
>on me. I actually had what I think was a complete conversation
>and was really almost bored because it threw my timing off.
>But anyway, it did bring back memories of like when you called
>and the person answered your questions and then you ran out
>of things to say and you both sort of drifted off and you didn't
>want to talk to each other anymore. Kind of like some relationships.
>It also brought memories of one of my favorite quotes of William
>Thackery, the guy who started Vanity Fair. Perhaps some of you
>remember it:
>
> Ah! Vanitas vanitatum! Which of us is happy in the world?
> Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?- Come,
> children, let us shut up the box and the puppies, for our play is
> played out. ~ From Ibid, 27.
>
>He's the same one who wrote about soup. Soup and the Virginian.
>Soup and the Virginian and Barry Lyndon.
>
>Why did God pick the puppies? Were they perfect puppies? Would
>perfect puppies have parvo and poop out? No. But nothing is
>ever perfect not even the puppies. If they hadn't gotten parvo they'd
>be playing perhaps right now on the patio. But they did and they're
>dead. Dead puppies. Just like Dr. Demento's dead puppies. They'll
>never know the joy of growing up, peeing on carpets, chewing on
>furniture, growing attached to a favorite leg, having a mailbox they
>can call their own. They'll never have sex and raise a family. They'll
>never know the spirituality that sex is famous for. Luckily I read
>the column by Kathleen Parker the other day about sex and spirituality
>and I only mention it here because it helped to tie in what I already
>know about sex and spirituality and puppies and people. And it all
>ties in together. Ms. Parker says that at best, sex is a gift. "The
>one everyone cherishes above all else." (More than puppies.) "But
>as with any gift, sex becomes less special the more it's given." (Not
>sure about this part but I'm going to tie it in in a minute.) It would
>seem that Ms. Parker and I were in different sororities in the
>postsexual revolution that she refers to. Actually, I was never in a
>sorority but my mother was a Tri-Delt alum and I had felt a little
>nagging about going into a sorority since I was attending a girl's
>college
>in Missouri , which was sort of like a big sorority even tho they had
>three sororities you could join if you felt like you needed
>even more of an exclusive club than we were already in. Fortunately
>for me I left rush early because they had cut the girl across the hall
>pretty early in the game and I liked her because she wore an afro wig
>but it was always a little crooked and she made me happy. She was the
>most enthusiastic person I had ever met in my life and looking back I
>don't think I've ever met anyone as enthusiastic since. She joined
>every club on campus, had a job at the town's library that she walked
>to in rain, snow, sleet or hail and volunteered at the local deaf
>school. She even made some excuse for the behavior of the girls who
>had blackballed her and made some comment that her clothes hadn't
>probably
>been exactly right. I believe I made some speech about how I was
>dropping out of rush if that's how they thought they were going to
>treat people! but she was smarter than I was and made some comment
>indicating that she didn't think I really wanted to be in a sorority
>anyway and that sort of popped my bubble and then I think we went
>and saw a movie. As for sex being the best gift, my roommate certainly
>believed in that and was the biggest gift giver on campus (after her
>parents left after being parked in the parking lot for the whole first
>week of classes. She was an only child and her mother brought homemade
>cinnamon rolls up to our dorm room every morning which pissed her (the
>roommate) off
>but I thoroughly enjoyed them and I still remember that red and white
>polka dot dress her mother wore with the red patent leather belt.) The
>first night that they weren't there anymore, my roommate was escorted
>thru the gates at the entrance by two policemen, one in a car and one
>on a horse and sirens blaring. (From the car). I remember how the
>breeze felt on my face and how the moon looked at midnite, trying to
>write a letter, looking out of my third floor window as the police
>officers sort of held her up as they delivered her to the dorm mother
>person. I knew then that even tho I had been told at the sorority
>dinner that one of their people had been named Miss Missouri the
>previous year, that I was rooming with the real Miss Missouri and
>the year wouldn't be a total loss as I had expected since my major
>was fashion merchandising(my mother thought I might be a good buyer
>for a department store and my father never seemed to care what my
>interests were, just that I should be a doctor), my father had moved
>out of the house
>back home but neither parent had bothered to tell me I only found
>out when I went home one weekend and noticed his stuff wasn't there
>anymore and the guy who I had been dating was dating someone else
>and a girlfriend had written to tell me and I had only been gone two
>days.
>
>I guess Ms. Parker didn't have sex in college but I remember the best
>sex I ever had and it wasn't the least bit spiritual. I was sitting in
>a night Education class listen to some guy talk about Education and
>how he knew the guy who had written the book Death at An Early Age
>Johnathon Kozol I believe and everyone was doodling on their papers.
>This guy who sat catty-cornered in front of me never said anything in
>class and neither did I and we had sat like that for weeks, I think
>smiling at each other once or twice. On this particular nite he put
>a note on my desk and I opened it to find the words "Let's Have Sex"
>and I sent back a note that said "Ok" and at the break we left and
>walked to his room in a boarding house and he got naked and talked
>a lot about Ray Charles and sang a few songs on his guitar and I was
>pretty naked but got totally naked when he was finished singing and
>then we had this great sex on his single bed in the corner of the room
>right next to a large stack of Playboy magazines that he had stacked
>in month to month order. It didn't even occur to me to mention to him
>that "as with any gift, sex becomes less special the more it's given."
>Later on I found out he was the son of a minister (from someone else
>not him) so I guess it was sort of spiritual in a sort of round about
>kind of way and maybe even God's will. Years later I heard he was
>a missionary so he's still a spiritual guy so I guess in some way
>Kathleen Parker was right.
>
>I guess it's true what Charles Schulz knew.
>
>Happiness is a warm puppy. Not a dead puppy.

I love ellen, mistress of the bricktown canal. He stream of conciousness
just flooded my brane.

--
Robert Lindsay, NASA - Goddard, Greenbelt MD rlin...@seadas.gsfc.nasa.gov
#include <standard_disclaimer.h> 301-286-9958 ISTJ Type 9
"I mean, if you're scared of NASA, that's like being afraid of wax paper."
-J. "Kibo" Parry, USENET, Jan 30, 1999 Should we talk about the weather? -REM

Eric Boesch

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Aug 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM8/26/99
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robert lindsay wrote:
> I love ellen, mistress of the bricktown canal. The stream of

> conciousness just flooded my brane.

Hey, I can do that too.

.

.

.

.

Apparently the stream of consciousness has run dry. Call the
undertaker.

Theo Mora

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Aug 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM8/27/99
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rlin...@shark.gsfc.nasa.gov (robert lindsay) wrote

> I love ellen, mistress of the bricktown canal. He stream of conciousness

ALL HAIL ELLEN, MISTRESS OF THE BRICJTOWN CANAL!1!!!

Teo Mora
Hey, Theo, you spelled your name wrong. (Kibo)
I HEREBY DUB THEE The Patron Saint of ^H^H^H (Pope Emperor proud)
-----------------------------------
"the Apophrica is the part of the Bible that God wrote when he wasn't
completely sure of himself" (Carlos "Froggy" May)
-----------------------------------
Never travel West in the evening, nor East in the morning


Nicole...@att.net

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Aug 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM8/27/99
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On 27 Aug 1999 13:56:26 GMT, theo...@math.fsu.edu (Theo Mora) wrote:

>rlin...@shark.gsfc.nasa.gov (robert lindsay) wrote


>> I love ellen, mistress of the bricktown canal. He stream of conciousness
>

>ALL HAIL ELLEN, MISTRESS OF THE BRICJTOWN CANAL!1!!!
>

If you embarrass me anymore I won't dance with you
at this year's upcoming barbecue. And I'm really serious.

As for spelling, please read an article in The Daily Oklahoman today
about how much it's costing taxpayers because somebody
can't spell the word "insurance."

<screams...THEY"VE STOLEN THE PUPPIES!!>

Sorry. That pups out a lot these days.

robert lindsay

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Aug 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM8/27/99
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In article <37c69d52...@netnews.att.net>, <Nicole...@att.net> wrote:
>On 27 Aug 1999 13:56:26 GMT, theo...@math.fsu.edu (Theo Mora) wrote:
>
>>rlin...@shark.gsfc.nasa.gov (robert lindsay) wrote
>>> I love ellen, mistress of the bricktown canal. He stream of conciousness
>>
>>ALL HAIL ELLEN, MISTRESS OF THE BRICJTOWN CANAL!1!!!
>>
>If you embarrass me anymore I won't dance with you
>at this year's upcoming barbecue. And I'm really serious.

You can't dance with him anyway Ellen. Your MISTRESS OF THE BRICJTOWN CANAL!1!!!
and he's just some weenies from a school that couldn't even beat Tennessee
for the national championship. It's a class thing.

>As for spelling, please read an article in The Daily Oklahoman today
>about how much it's costing taxpayers because somebody
>can't spell the word "insurance."

Thankfully I don't get the Disappointment out here, what did it say?

I suppose I could read The Washington Times, but it's just not the same....


><screams...THEY"VE STOLEN THE PUPPIES!!>
>
>Sorry. That pups out a lot these days.

Hail!!!

Timothy Melton

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Aug 30, 1999, 3:00:00 AM8/30/99
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In article <X8Dx3.110$gh....@newscene.newscene.com>,
robert lindsay <rlin...@shark.gsfc.nasa.gov> wrote:

[snip]

>Thankfully I don't get the Disappointment out here, what did it say?

Here you go, Robert: http://www.oklahoman.com/

Wouldn't want you to miss anything ;-)

Tim

--
Tim Melton t...@questconsult.com
Quest Consultants Inc. http://www.questconsult.com/~tam
P.O. Box 721387 (405) 329-7475
Norman, OK 73070-8069 Fax: (405) 329-7734

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