the Stink
b r e t t
I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
$800 to replace the carpeting. Crap.
b
Lleah
"b r e t t" <b...@chiba.3jane.net> wrote in message
news:wcPP7.3704$Oh1.38881@insync...
>
> I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
ie: "wet dog"
Joe Manfre
> I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>
You're lying, because actually one of the elevators in the office
building where I work has the Worst Smell. And it's the elevator I
seem to keep getting every time, too. Luckily I only have to go up
and down to and from the seventh floor, so I can sometimes hold my
breath that long.
> $800 to replace the carpeting. Crap.
>
Said elevator has new carpeting too. Maybe it's special Satan's
Stinky Carpeting, 100% guaranteed not to contain any anthrax (other
than "garden variety" anthrax).
JM
--
Joe Manfre, Hyattsville, Maryland.
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is
the dismemberment plan." -- MegaHAL
Glenn Knickerbocker
> b r e t t (b...@chiba.3jane.net) wrote:
> > I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
> You're lying, because actually one of the elevators in the office
> building where I work has the Worst Smell. And it's the elevator I
The first time I went to Kutaisi, several buildings downtown had a faint
smell of rotting crustaceans in their lower floors. A couple years
later, the hallway between my office and the cafeteria developed the
same faint smell where a doorway had been leaking in the rain. But once
I went to Denny's and it had the same smell where they had lifted up a
rubber runner only REALLY INTENSE and DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH THE COUNTER
WHERE I WAS TRYING TO EAT. I don't even remember whether I was able to
finish my food or not. I think that was the same time that this Russian
couple were sitting next to me and talking about how some book was
devoid of philosophical value, and he kept repeating, "Ty NE razumnee.
Ty NE razumnee."
ŹR
Rob Lomax
> I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>
superlative in Worst Smell contests. Leave a large potato in a moist,
warm place for a few months, then take a whiff. Ay Carumba indeed. The
Flooded Car may have a more lasting reek, and one that clings to
passengers long after they have fled the vehicle, but for pure unholy
nausea-inducing stench, I find the Rotten Potato tres magnifique.
Rob Lomax
not forgetting the delightful pong of durians, of course.
John Burrage
>I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>
>$800 to replace the carpeting. Crap.
Could I put an end to all this speculation and say that the worst
smelling object is the entire world is a large plastic cylinder in our
department. I don't know what is was made for, but I had the
misfortune of having to use it a few years ago. It is kept tightly
capped at all times because it smells very strongly of puke raised to
the power of puke. It smells BAD.
Now, I have smelled a rich variety of bad smells in my time, and
nothing even comes CLOSE to this baby. Not rotten eggs, rotten
potatoes, three week old chicken, piggeries, whaling stations, nor
rotting flesh .. it is the WORST smell imaginable. So very bad.
To put this into context, years ago I went on an flight in a single
engined light aircraft with a school buddy (we would have been about
10) and hit some massive turbulance - it chucked the plane around like
it was made of paper for about 10 minutes. And I was thinking "this is
bloody BRILLIANT!". And I turned to my mate and was about to say "this
is bloody BRILLIANT!" when I became aware that he had been chundering
almost continuously for the last five minutes and the rear of the
plane was awash with puke. Then the smell hit me. And then I puked.
But it wasn't as bad as that cylinder! Nowhere near as bad!
So there you have it. Worst smell = plastic cylinder in Perth tractor
factory.
OK, thanks. That's all.
--
John Burrage http://members.iinet.net.au/~burrage/
"Christ, there is a swarm of bees outside"
- Excerpt from old English bee prayer, c 1000.
Bryce Utting
> Joe Manfre wrote:
>> b r e t t (b...@chiba.3jane.net) wrote:
>> > I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>> You're lying, because actually one of the elevators in the office
>> building where I work has the Worst Smell. And it's the elevator I
>
> The first time I went to Kutaisi, several buildings downtown had a faint
> smell of rotting crustaceans in their lower floors. A couple years
> later, the hallway between my office and the cafeteria developed the
> same faint smell where a doorway had been leaking in the rain.
then there was the time they celebrated the opening of the new
comp/maths building at my old university (Waikato) by dumping about
forty tonnes of manure over the gardens around the main and basement
entrances. still stank a good year later.
and, now I think about it, there were three entrances to the building,
but staff and students could only use those two. the back entrance
was pretty much only available to the technicians and the^H^H^H*THE*
bofh, so thinking a bit more about it, I should shut up before I
accidentally trip over backwards onto the top of a radio mast while
tied up comfortably in my bed putting out a fire by pouring
concentrated H2SO4 over myself. that's never fun.
> But once
> I went to Denny's and it had the same smell where they had lifted up a
> rubber runner only REALLY INTENSE and DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH THE COUNTER
> WHERE I WAS TRYING TO EAT. I don't even remember whether I was able to
> finish my food or not. I think that was the same time that this Russian
> couple were sitting next to me and talking about how some book was
> devoid of philosophical value, and he kept repeating, "Ty NE razumnee.
> Ty NE razumnee."
"I'm EATING a rubber runner. I'm EATING a rubber runner."
hth!
butting
David Haren
: b...@chiba.3jane.net (b r e t t) wrote:
:>I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
:>$800 to replace the carpeting. Crap.
: Could I put an end to all this speculation and say that the worst
: smelling object is the entire world is a large plastic cylinder in our
: department. I don't know what is was made for, but I had the
: So there you have it. Worst smell = plastic cylinder in Perth tractor
: factory.
Snipped stuff ^
We had a plastic garbage can that was used for coffee grounds
after brewing at work. unfortunately it was never emptied.
We developed this bad smell that slowly got worse until the
day I realized it was the can. Dumping it without the gas
mask (USN MK VII) was a bad idea. This incredible greenish
chunk of glop that was growing in the bottom fell out
spreading an odor that killed most organisms that couldn't
escape the area. Two days later I retrieved the can and
filled it with water and left it to soak overnight, this
allowed it to be used again after scrubbing it out.
Dead Coffee smells bad.
Jared Anderson
>
>I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>
>$800 to replace the carpeting. Crap.
In light of the rat tale I told on here recently, it is probably not wise to
divulge this information, however, in the interest of public safety I shall
reveal more disgusting happenings.
If your freezer ever stops working during an Austrian summer, do not, under
any circumstances just ignore it and hope it goes away. It will not.
The theory that if you just leave the door shut all the meat and peas and
icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in them will stay cold is a fine
one, as long as you only count on things staying cold for a few hours. Not
a few weeks.
A freezer full of rancid meat and peas and icy poles and pink teddy bears
with knives in them smells very bad. What's even worse is carrying the
offending freezer out side and having rancid juice of meat leak out and
ooze its way down your arm. What's even worse than that is when you have
door holding open duty while your house mates attack the contents with the
hose. Splashback is fun kids.
Can it get worse?
Of course it can. Using the same intellectual might involved in deciding to
leave the meat and peas and icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in
them fester in the dead freezer, the plan to leave the meat and peas and icy
poles and pink teddy bears with knives in them in the wheelie bin until
garbage collection day was made.
Hot sun, meat, peas, icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in them
really do earn the title Worst Smell EVER.
Consider yourselves duly warned.
Cheers,
J
Rose Marie Holt
<man...@flash.net> claimed
> b r e t t (b...@chiba.3jane.net) wrote:
>
>> I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>>
>
> You're lying, because actually one of the elevators in the office
> building where I work has the Worst Smell. And it's the elevator I
> seem to keep getting every time, too. Luckily I only have to go up
> and down to and from the seventh floor, so I can sometimes hold my
> breath that long.
>
>
>> $800 to replace the carpeting. Crap.
>>
>
> Said elevator has new carpeting too. Maybe it's special Satan's
> Stinky Carpeting, 100% guaranteed not to contain any anthrax (other
> than "garden variety" anthrax).
>
>
> JM
I prefer the Meat Packing plant for bad smell.
Other candidates: Sugar beet processing plant (aka the Sugar Factory -
sounds like a porno palace)
Paper mill.
Rotten potato peels in my garbage disposal.
Most of these are available without leaving my house. (I have to travel for
Paper Mill)
Rose Marie Holt
<john.b...@health.wa.gov.au> claimed
>
> So there you have it. Worst smell = plastic cylinder in Perth tractor
> factory.
>
> OK, thanks. That's all.
>
Any sort of mercaptan is unusually bad smelling.
Cheese puke is also a treat.
Rose Marie Holt
Anderson <ja...@celab21.students.csee.uq.edu.au> claimed
> In article <wcPP7.3704$Oh1.38881@insync>, b r e t t wrote:
>>
>> I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>>
>
> Consider yourselves duly warned.
> Cheers,
> J
That Natl Geographic on smells several years ago was amusing.
They had a panel of smells in the article.
I smelled the Used Underwear one and it smelled strongly to me like used
underwear.
My future evil ex couldnt smell anything. Just watching him take in
lungfuls through his nose trying to smell something made me ill.
ObExbusting: SO did smelling him - eau de Paper Mill/Satanic vapors
Kevin S. Wilson
<but...@ihug.co.nz> wrote:
>Glenn Knickerbocker <No...@bestweb.net> wrote:
>> Joe Manfre wrote:
>>> b r e t t (b...@chiba.3jane.net) wrote:
>>> > I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>>> You're lying, because actually one of the elevators in the office
>>> building where I work has the Worst Smell. And it's the elevator I
>>
>> The first time I went to Kutaisi, several buildings downtown had a faint
>> smell of rotting crustaceans in their lower floors. A couple years
>> later, the hallway between my office and the cafeteria developed the
>> same faint smell where a doorway had been leaking in the rain.
>
>then there was the time they celebrated the opening of the new
>comp/maths building at my old university (Waikato) by dumping about
>forty tonnes of manure over the gardens around the main and basement
>entrances. still stank a good year later.
Depends on how you define "stank." Cow and horse manure is fecund,
earthy, organic--not stanky. Pig shit stanks.
Unless you're a successful pig farmer. Then you say "Smells like money
to me," as many times as necessary, to anyone who will listen. If you
are an unsuccessful pig farmer, your children will be taunted and
beaten throughout 12 years of public school (private school to those
of you who spell Big Amount of Manure as "tonnes" instead of "metric
pantload").
--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at University Somewhere in Idaho
Kevin S. Wilson
Okay, that's about enough, Rose Marie. My first wife was a nurse. I
know better than to try to out-gross members of the Healing
Professions (tm).
Otto Bahn
They may not be the A-Number-One worst smell,
but they're in the top 10, and I've eaten them.
Corned beef used to work, 'cause my parents made
me eat a lovin' heap of it when I wasn't hungry.
After the projetile vomiting and several hours
of dry heaves, they never made me eat it again.
--oTTo--
Retch-O-Matic!
Ithaqua
> b...@chiba.3jane.net (b r e t t) wrote in message news:<wcPP7.3704$Oh1.38881@insync>...
>
>>I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>>
>>
> Have you tried Rotten Potatoes, perchance? I find them to be
> superlative in Worst Smell contests. Leave a large potato in a moist,
> warm place for a few months, then take a whiff. Ay Carumba indeed.
I am truly thankful that someone remembered that potato(e) thing.
I myself am somewhat of an expert on extraordinarily offensive aromas
and in my lifetime I've found diddly that can outrank a rotten spud, and
I've been around some bad smells in my time. Even the whiff of a
sufficiently dead body is hard-pressed to compete with the plain
old-fashioned gag quotient of a long forgotten decomposed potato(e).
At least I never threatened to puke at the smell of a dead body...
but a decrepit spud once made my eyes water and drool dribble and my
stomach heave. Mortar attacks... with rotten spuds, get rid of the
Taliban in a jiffy, no problem.
Glenn Dowdy
"Ithaqua" <windw...@nonexistent.com> wrote in message
news:3C110C4D...@nonexistent.com...
southern grocery store was the recycling of bags of potatoes which had at
least one member who became rotten. Sometimes I would have to go through an
entire pallet of bad bags, so I know the smell to which you refer. My
alltime worst odor experience came in the form of a middle of the night
skunk attack on my dog, who came back into the house a trifle disturbed and
leapt into bed to let us know that we had a visitor in the the back yard. I
immediately rushed the little 50 lb darling into the guest bathroom to rinse
off the contaminant (Hah!).
Nothing is as bad as fresh concentrated skunk musk. It is extremely
overpowering. I spent time sans mask in a tear gas chamber in the Army, and
this was worse. Imagine the smell of a skunk two or three orders of
magnitude worse. It was not only nauseating, it was painful to eyes, nose,
and throat.
For what it's worth, the best recipe for removing skunk odor is one pint of
hydrogen peroxide, three tablespoons of baking soda and some liquid soap to
bind it. The commercial odor removers don't do jack.
Glenn D., still shuddering at the memory.
Mike Dahmus
>
>I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
10th & Lamar? Dude, your car floated purdy.
Mike Dahmus
http://www.dahmus.org/mike/
Dean Lenort
> Depends on how you define "stank." Cow and horse manure is fecund,
> earthy, organic--not stanky. Pig shit stanks.
While pig shit does indeed "stank" it can't hold a candle to chicken shit.
Not unless the candle is one of those big-ass scented ones that attempts to
drown out the smell of either or both of these horrible animal effluents.
Back in the distant days of my youth me and a couple of the boys would
drive out to my friend Scott's place to pick him up for a wild night on the
town (for very small values of wild as we'd usually go to a movie followed
by pizza. Woo Hoo!). If he'd spent that day pumping pig manure out of the
pit he'd often still be in the shower when we showed up since on manure
hauling days these showers lasted about 40 minutes or more. And you know
what? Even after heroic efforts there would still often be a trace of the
old swine byproduct about him.
My point (and yes, there is one) is that I know my pig shit stank and I can
assure you that chicken shit stank is worse. <jay sherman>It Stinks!</jay
sherman>
--
Dean Lenort | Though if you are in the mood to make
| love to cattle, Usenet is probably one
dean....@att.net | of the best places to talk about it. --Tshen
Dean Lenort
> Nothing is as bad as fresh concentrated skunk musk. It is extremely
> overpowering. I spent time sans mask in a tear gas chamber in the Army, and
> this was worse. Imagine the smell of a skunk two or three orders of
> magnitude worse. It was not only nauseating, it was painful to eyes, nose,
> and throat.
I CONCUR!!! (Message-ID: <4JQXOMLEV+VDo7...@4ax.com>) Not only
did I spend the majority of that night nearly gagging on the odor, but the
cat spent the night with this unusually pained look where she'd blink her
eyes and give me a sort of a "What the hell are you up to now? I am not
enjoying this *at* *all*." kind of expression.
--
Dean Lenort | "Waaah! Porkmagnets suck!"
dean....@att.net | From an original story by -- Schwa Love
Chris Franks
"Jared Anderson" <ja...@celab21.students.csee.uq.edu.au> wrote in message >
> Hot sun, meat, peas, icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in them
> really do earn the title Worst Smell EVER.
>
> Consider yourselves duly warned.
Not only that, but the stink gets into the insulation inside the
refrigerator/freezer and the only way to get rid of that is to apply about a
quart of liquid petrol inside it and then throw a lit match at it.
But the worst-ever smell has to be the Squibb plant in New Brunswick NJ
where they make penicillin and on a day when the temperature and humidity
are both over 90 [ any day from April 27 to October 2 ] and they open the
windows in that factory the whole countryside within a 10-mile radius is not
habitable by humans of any persuasion.
Bryce Utting
>>then there was the time they celebrated the opening of the new
>>comp/maths building at my old university (Waikato) by dumping about
>>forty tonnes of manure over the gardens around the main and basement
>>entrances. still stank a good year later.
>
> Depends on how you define "stank." Cow and horse manure is fecund,
> earthy, organic--not stanky.
easy. "stanky" is "stanked up the labs worse than VMS 5.0".
>Pig shit stanks.
no argument there. also: cat -finally- using the dirt tray placed
behind the passenger's seat while driving half the length of the
country with her and her kittens. EEEYYYYYYYEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!
evacuate.
> Unless you're a successful pig farmer. Then you say "Smells like money
> to me," as many times as necessary, to anyone who will listen. If you
> are an unsuccessful pig farmer, your children will be taunted and
> beaten throughout 12 years of public school (private school to those
> of you who spell Big Amount of Manure as "tonnes" instead of "metric
> pantload").
sowwy. meant "forty bazillion tonnes". hth!
butting
Kevin S. Wilson
<chris_...@agilent.com> wrote:
>
>"Jared Anderson" <ja...@celab21.students.csee.uq.edu.au> wrote in message >
>> Hot sun, meat, peas, icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in them
>> really do earn the title Worst Smell EVER.
>>
>> Consider yourselves duly warned.
>
> Not only that, but the stink gets into the insulation inside the
>refrigerator/freezer and the only way to get rid of that is to apply about a
>quart of liquid petrol inside it and then throw a lit match at it.
>
Agreed. That stink from rotting food left in a dead or dying
refrigerator is Nature's way of telling you that it's time to buy a
new refrigerator. The last time it happened to me, the refrigerator
died a couple days after my wife and I returned from spending 10 days
in Canadia. Lucky, eh?
Having determined to our satisfaction that the refrigerator (a
25-year-old beast given to us by my father-in-law) was indeed dead, we
scurried on down to Sears, where a friendly fellow with too many teeth
sold us a Brand! New! Refrigerator! Most of the contents of the
refrigerator went into a trash can in the alley, including an entire
silver salmon; various chickens, chicken-mans, and chicken parts; and
milk and milk byproducts. First week of July, temperatures in the high
90s. One week from trash pickup day.
By the time it began to stink, there was no way I was putting that
trash can in my truck and hauling it to the landfill. We gritted our
teeth, hoping that the trash guys would get it before everyone's
Fourth of July was ruined. They did, but it took two days to properly
air out the trash can.
Helpful Hint from Heloise: If your refrigerator dies and you decide to
buy a new one, the refrigerator store can probably supply you with a
little dorm-sized refrigerator until your new refrigerator is
delivered. That's what Sears did, anyway.
James Kibo Parry
Glenn Dowdy (glenn...@agilent.com) wrote:
>
> One of my tasks as the junior member of the produce department of a local
> southern grocery store was the recycling of bags of potatoes which had at
> least one member who became rotten. Sometimes I would have to go through an
> entire pallet of bad bags, so I know the smell to which you refer.
Potatoes. Cottage cheese. Watermelons. Those three items are banned
from my imaginary supermarket.
So those of you who shop at Leah's imaginary supermarket should switch to
Kibo's imaginary supermarket, where we don't sell anything that might
gross out the employees.
Except for some of the Goya products.
> My alltime worst odor experience came in the form of a middle of the night
> skunk attack on my dog, who came back into the house a trifle disturbed and
> leapt into bed to let us know that we had a visitor in the the back yard. I
> immediately rushed the little 50 lb darling into the guest bathroom to rinse
> off the contaminant (Hah!).
>
> Nothing is as bad as fresh concentrated skunk musk. It is extremely
> overpowering. I spent time sans mask in a tear gas chamber in the Army, and
> this was worse.
BACK UP! BACK UP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BACK THAT STORY IN HERE!
We want to hear why the Army was punishing you with a trip to The Stinky Booth.
We want to hear both the TRUE story of you being sprayed with tear gas
to make you cry, and also the EMBELLISHED version which ends with the
stinky booth being re-used as the soundproof booth on a very special
episode of "The $64,000 Question, Now In Smellovision."
> Imagine the smell of a skunk two or three orders of magnitude worse.
> It was not only nauseating, it was painful to eyes, nose, and throat.
>
> For what it's worth, the best recipe for removing skunk odor is one pint of
> hydrogen peroxide, three tablespoons of baking soda and some liquid soap to
> bind it. The commercial odor removers don't do jack.
>
> Glenn D., still shuddering at the memory.
My imaginary supermarket has a discount on baking soda when you buy hydrogen
peroxide and liquid soap at the same time. Baking Soda is in the "cooking
needs and volcano supplies" aisle, peroxide is in the "things that taste bad"
aisle, and liquid soap is in the "masturbation supplies" aisle. However,
you can also find shrink-wrapped gift baskets containing all three in the
"gift baskets for people named 'Stinky'" aisle.
Top that, Leah. I bet your supermarket doesn't even sell anything people
could masturbate with!
-- K.
Also, here is a coupon
for everyone:
+------------------------+
| |
| -- POTATO CHIPS -- |
| BUY ONE GET ONE FREE |
| |
+------------------------+
Tom Kraemer
> While pig shit does indeed "stank" it can't hold a candle to chicken shit.
We used to live about a quarter-mile away from a chicken farm, and
on some summer days when the wind was blowing right it was tough to
go outside. I can't imagine what the folks next door to it went through.
Nasty stuff.
--
"Jedi Knight? Jedi Dumbass!!"
- Red Foreman, _That '70s Show_
Daniel Buettner
> Potatoes. Cottage cheese. Watermelons. Those three items are banned
> from my imaginary supermarket.
Is this where you finally tell "The Watermelon Story"?
--
~
~
~
"Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--
Glenn Dowdy
"Kevin S. Wilson" <res...@micron.net> wrote in message
news:3c113f18....@news.micron.net...
> On Fri, 7 Dec 2001 13:49:01 -0800, "Chris Franks"
> <chris_...@agilent.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Jared Anderson" <ja...@celab21.students.csee.uq.edu.au> wrote in message
>
> >> Hot sun, meat, peas, icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in
them
> >> really do earn the title Worst Smell EVER.
> >>
> >> Consider yourselves duly warned.
> >
> > Not only that, but the stink gets into the insulation inside the
> >refrigerator/freezer and the only way to get rid of that is to apply
about a
> >quart of liquid petrol inside it and then throw a lit match at it.
> >
> Agreed. That stink from rotting food left in a dead or dying
> refrigerator is Nature's way of telling you that it's time to buy a
> new refrigerator. The last time it happened to me, the refrigerator
> died a couple days after my wife and I returned from spending 10 days
> in Canadia. Lucky, eh?
>
a vacation. The stink of rotten chicken is unstinkingly believeable.
I've had a stinking life, I guess.
Glenn D.
Glenn Dowdy
"James "Kibo" Parry" <ki...@world.std.com> wrote in message
news:kibo-07120...@ralph.std.com...
> [discussion of bad smells]
>
> Glenn Dowdy (glenn...@agilent.com) wrote:
> >
> > One of my tasks as the junior member of the produce department of a
local
> > southern grocery store was the recycling of bags of potatoes which had
at
> > least one member who became rotten. Sometimes I would have to go
through an
> > entire pallet of bad bags, so I know the smell to which you refer.
>
> Potatoes. Cottage cheese. Watermelons. Those three items are banned
> from my imaginary supermarket.
Ah, watermelon. Those seem to go bad, too. I remember another incident in
the produce department. We used to store them on the floor next to the
produce racks, and when they would exhibit signs of rottentunity, I, being
the peon, would pick the up and take them into the back. We would ascertain
the depth of rottentunity in order to salvage the good ends, if in
existence, and sell them as "cut melon". You Have Been Warned.
But that's not the story. There was this one, quite a large specimen, that
seemed bad. In order to pick up this behemoth, I had to perform a weight
lifting squat. I got both arms around it, stood up, and quick as you could
say "Apple Pan Dowdy", the entire contents of the melon, having liquified,
empty out of a stress induced rupture, leaving me holding a large watermelon
skin in a wide pool of melon juice.
But that's nothing compared to picking up bodies in the Army <=== Lie
> > Nothing is as bad as fresh concentrated skunk musk. It is extremely
> > overpowering. I spent time sans mask in a tear gas chamber in the Army,
and
> > this was worse.
>
> BACK UP! BACK UP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BACK THAT STORY IN HERE!
>
> We want to hear why the Army was punishing you with a trip to The Stinky
Booth.
>
> We want to hear both the TRUE story of you being sprayed with tear gas
> to make you cry, and also the EMBELLISHED version which ends with the
> stinky booth being re-used as the soundproof booth on a very special
> episode of "The $64,000 Question, Now In Smellovision."
>
TRUE STORY:
Punished? Nay, it was good training (Good Army Training: You have to be
cold, wet, tired, hungry, pissed off and doing something stupid). The Army
trains a lot on being able to operate in a chemically contiminated
environment (at least back in the day when the Rooskies were the Big Enemy).
The gas chamber was designed to give you confidence in the efficacy of your
protective gear. Therefore, all soldiers in their initial training get to
experience going into a room alledgely full of a nasty chemical (CS,
analogous to tear gas). With your mask on, you just laugh, Hah! Just to make
sure you know it's not placebo gas, they make you take your mask off. In my
case, we had to sing a verse of the school fight song before we would be
allowed to exit. All I can remember is when I opened my eyes (as ordered -
what am I, stoopeed?), it felt like two hot soldering irons were plunged
about 1" (2.54cm) into my eyeballs. Not an experience I ever wish to repeat,
and it's put quite a damper on my anti-governement rioting career, I'm sorry
to say.
MORE TRUE STORY:
When released from durance vile, and allowed to proceed from the gas
chamber, most people a) can't see and b) run like hell. The gas chamber at
Fort Leonard wood has a large tree directly outside the exit, and
generations of engineer soldiers report for duty with bark bas relief on
their foreheads. Hee, hee.
EMBELLISHMENT (sort of):
Rumor is that the advanced training for senior enlisted personnel whose
Military Occupational Specialty was in the chemical warfare field would be
required to enter a chamber filled not with CS but with a non-persistent
Nerve Agent, which if one didn't have their protective gear on correctly
would kill one dead. I've seen films of goats who were subjected to nerve
agents, and it is not a pretty death. I never found out why the Army hated
goats, unless it's the Naval Academy mascot.
> -- K.
>
> Also, here is a coupon
> for everyone:
>
>
+------------------------+
> |
|
> | -- AUDI TT-- |
> | BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
|
> |
|
>
+------------------------+
>
Thanks!
Glenn D.
Kevin S. Wilson
Parry) wrote:
>Top that, Leah. I bet your supermarket doesn't even sell anything people
>could masturbate with!
Sigh. I hate cascades as much as the next guy, but still I'm compelled
to say
LIVER!
Also, though technically it isn't for sale in Leah's imaginary
supermarket, the CoinStar machine will get jiggy with you for a good
long time if you've been saving your pennies.
WAHH! I DUMPED $400 INTO THE COINSTAR MACHINE AND I DIDN'T EVEN COME!
Seen in the pharmacy section of the local Albertson's:
Crack Creme (for dry, cracked hands, supposedly)
Next to the Crack Creme was a lice comb, a kind of scaled-down version
of the pick that Washington used to wear in his hair on "Welcome Back,
Kot-tear," only with close-set metal bristles. My wife spotted it
first and dragged me over to look at it, telling me that I was getting
one for Christmas. It was next to a half-dozen bottles of Lice Begone,
Bugs Away, and Chesapeake Bay Crab Boil.
I told her it was an appetizer fork for monkeys.
We then waited 40 minutes for the drug zombies behind the counter to
fill a prescription that had been called in TWO FREAKIN' DAYS EARLIER.
All the drug zombies moved like they were underwater, and I'm
beginning to suspect that they were all hopped up on the
methambarbituateinhibitors.
In other news, I'm taking a couple friends of mine to get their
Christmas tree tomorrow, an annual activity now in its second year and
apparently destined to become a Tradition. This is what happens when
you own a full-size pickup.
It's costing them breakfast, though. My momma didn't raise any kids
that lived. I mean, didn't raise any dummies.
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Potatoes. Cottage cheese. Watermelons. Those three items are banned
> > from my imaginary supermarket.
>
> Ah, watermelon. Those seem to go bad, too. I remember another incident in
> the produce department. We used to store them on the floor next to the
> produce racks, and when they would exhibit signs of rottentunity, I, being
> the peon, would pick the up and take them into the back. We would ascertain
> the depth of rottentunity in order to salvage the good ends, if in
> existence, and sell them as "cut melon". You Have Been Warned.
Oh, I've warned the good people of the Internet to stay away from
supermarket watermelons on no fewer than twenty-eight thousand
separate occasions (and nine thousand of the same occasion.)
You forgot to mention that all the watermelons for the whole year
arrive on the same day.
Personally, I think it's part of a grander conspiracy -- my theory is that
all the watermelons for the entire millennium are stored in one warehouse,
which slowly empties out year by year. They implemented this plan after
the Battle of Hastings, so your local supermarket's watermelons are going
to get rancider and rancider until the cycle begins again in 2066.
Then and only then will humanity get its first glimpse of a fresh watermelon.
> But that's not the story. There was this one, quite a large specimen, that
> seemed bad. In order to pick up this behemoth, I had to perform a weight
> lifting squat. I got both arms around it, stood up, and quick as you could
> say "Apple Pan Dowdy", the entire contents of the melon, having liquified,
> empty out of a stress induced rupture, leaving me holding a large watermelon
> skin in a wide pool of melon juice.
If I were you, I would have put a sign on the others saying
"TRADER JOE'S WORLD'S LARGEST WHITE GRAPES" so that the next
time a customer popped one I could yell, "What did the world's
largest white grape say when you broke it? Nothing, it just let
out A LITTLE WINE!" and then everyone would point at them and
say, "HA HA, SOMEONE MADE A PUN ABOUT YOUR MISFORTUNE!" and
then they'd have to pay for the watermelon except because they
thought it was the World's Largest White Grape we could charge extra.
> > [on Glenn being locked in a roomful of tear gas in the Army]
> >
> > We want to hear why the Army was punishing you with a trip to
> > The Stinky Booth.
> >
> > We want to hear both the TRUE story of you being sprayed with tear gas
> > to make you cry, and also the EMBELLISHED version [...]
>
> TRUE STORY:
>
> Punished? Nay, it was good training (Good Army Training: You have to be
> cold, wet, tired, hungry, pissed off and doing something stupid). The Army
> trains a lot on being able to operate in a chemically contiminated
> environment (at least back in the day when the Rooskies were the Big Enemy).
> The gas chamber was designed to give you confidence in the efficacy of your
> protective gear. Therefore, all soldiers in their initial training get to
> experience going into a room alledgely full of a nasty chemical (CS,
> analogous to tear gas).
Factoid from a PBS site on the Web:
-> Police training manuals warn that CS should be used out of doors,
-> to disperse crowds, and CN used indoors, to force people outside.
-> "Police and Security News" states: "In a confined space, CS can
-> readily induce panic behavior if the adversary is unable to escape
-> the contaminated area." According to a handbook called the
-> "Police Chemical Agents Manual," during exposure to CS a person
-> is "incapable of effective concerted action."
So what you're saying is that the Russians fight dirty and use the wrong
gas indoors?
> With your mask on, you just laugh, Hah!
Oh, I always laugh whenever I have my gas mask on. Especially when
I'm in public and wearing my evil clown makeup. It's all part of
the total effect. And, indoors, I can readily induce panic behavior
without the use of any CS.
> Just to make sure you know it's not placebo gas, they make you take
> your mask off. In my case, we had to sing a verse of the school fight
> song before we would be allowed to exit. All I can remember is when
> I opened my eyes (as ordered - what am I, stoopeed?), it felt like two
> hot soldering irons were plunged about 1" (2.54cm) into my eyeballs.
> Not an experience I ever wish to repeat, and it's put quite a damper
> on my anti-governement rioting career, I'm sorry to say.
So if they had used a placebo gas -- such as banana oil (amyl acetate)
which is commonly used to test to see if gas masks fit right, because
it smells like nuclear bananas -- would you be in the middle of a
riot to blow up Chiquita headquarters right now? And if so, how
would you be reading this?
> MORE TRUE STORY:
>
> When released from durance vile, and allowed to proceed from the gas
> chamber, most people a) can't see and b) run like hell. The gas chamber at
> Fort Leonard wood has a large tree directly outside the exit, and
> generations of engineer soldiers report for duty with bark bas relief on
> their foreheads. Hee, hee.
I think this is the point in the story where blind people can feel
superior to you sighted yutzes who lose your vision for five minutes
and immediately forget to hold your hands out in front of you when
running at top speed through a forest.
(Someday I might be blind enough to be smarter than Army guys.)
> EMBELLISHMENT (sort of):
>
> Rumor is that the advanced training for senior enlisted personnel whose
> Military Occupational Specialty was in the chemical warfare field would be
> required to enter a chamber filled not with CS but with a non-persistent
> Nerve Agent, which if one didn't have their protective gear on correctly
> would kill one dead. I've seen films of goats who were subjected to nerve
> agents, and it is not a pretty death. I never found out why the Army hated
> goats, unless it's the Naval Academy mascot.
Well, see, goat meat is a staple of halal cuisine. They had to kill
some sort of ethnic food, given that the American people wouldn't stand
for anything less. And all the gefilte fish were already dead and
falling apart, and Peking ducks are too expensive compared to domestic ducks,
and Mexican candy was impervious to all forms of destruction, so they chose
to go after goats because no true American likes goat meat, although they
eat lamb or mutton in Pinko countries like Canada.
-- K.
At my imaginary supermarket this week:
FIFTY PERCENT OFF ALL HALAL OR KOSHER
ITEMS IN THE LOBSTER TANK!!!
Also,
NINETY PERCENT OFF ALL DELICIOUS DURIANS!!!
Jared Anderson
> Not only that, but the stink gets into the insulation inside the
>refrigerator/freezer and the only way to get rid of that is to apply about a
>quart of liquid petrol inside it and then throw a lit match at it.
We actually ripped out all the seals and lay it down on its side with the
doors facing upwards. Add beer and ice for instant chilly bin. Great
when entertaining.
Cheers,
J
Jared Anderson
>I have a reflex-retch to the smell of maggots.
>They may not be the A-Number-One worst smell,
>but they're in the top 10, and I've eaten them.
In light of recent rat postings and even more recent stinking meat, peas,
icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in them rotting in the freezer
stories, I really should not be telling you what we affectionately dubbed
"THE MARCH OF THE MAGOTS".
I awoke one morning to find our kitchen floor covered with one large
area of maggots all heading in the same direction. They had obviously come
from the bin, but I had no idea as to their destination. Graphic may help.
___
/ \
/ \
| |
| This |
| is |
| a bin |
| |
|_______|~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Those are the maggots
They weren't actually in such a tight formation as the graphic may suggest,
but they were all heading the same direction. Perhaps they have those little
magnetic domains in their tiny maggot branes and had aligned themselves with
the earth's magnetic field. Perhaps they simply wanting to head out into
the living room and watch teev, drink beer and chat. It was frightening
and smelled kind of funny.
The Enb
Jonathan Matthew
<slrna12t16...@celab21.students.csee.uq.edu.au>:
> In light of recent rat postings and even more recent stinking meat,
> peas, icy poles and pink teddy bears with knives in them rotting in
> the freezer stories, I really should not be telling you what we
> affectionately dubbed "THE MARCH OF THE MAGOTS".
^^^^^^
silkworms? christmas beetles? earwigs?
uhh.. baby spiders? ... BABY SNAKES!!!
While not as impressive as a maggot march in full flight, I have seen
a batch of little spiders hatch in the bathroom. They're so cute, the
way they climb all over everything, cover you in little baby-size spider
webs within minutes, render coffee undrinkable without so much as an
almost-inaudible 'splish', and make interesting little stains where you
accidentally squash them. Eventually, they all drowned, got squashed,
got eaten, or moved out. My parents never seemed interested in killing
them using chemical means.
Their policy on pesticides was an odd one. We never had any retail
pesticides, the kind that you assume has at least been sprayed indoors
once or twice before going on the market, to check if they actually kill
people or not. Instead, there were these evil-looking tins and spray
guns in various places, filled with what I assume were agricultural-
strength contaminants, and some bottles that looked exactly like water
bottles, except they had vague illegible scribbles on them, which
apparently described what the perfectly clear fluid within was.
These were only to be employed once it was obvious that we were losing
the war against whatever forces of nature were invading. I remember
being able to wander into the kitchen around midnight, turn on the light,
and count around 15 cockroaches without having to look under or inside
anything. This was usually enough to put me off the idea of any kind of
midnight snack-like behaviour.
And just so I'm not totally off-topic, these pesticides really stanked.
Not the kind of smell that makes you think "I shouldn't eat that",
more the kind that makes you think "I shouldn't breathe this."
> [...]
> It was frightening and smelled kind of funny.
That, strangely enough, summarises all of my experiences involving that
particular house you were living in. Later efforts seem to have dispensed
with the smell, if nothing else.
Leo Sgouros
But not so nice if you are taking a bath in it, or when its not so
entertaining (did I already type that)
David Haren
: <john.b...@health.wa.gov.au> claimed
Korea has a cheese that smells like puke on a radiator.
I had to sweep out the gas chamber with no mask just
for sleeping in NBC class. Since I'd already been fried
multiple times with fallout, knew enough bio to expect
a quick death from nerve gas and was too mean to be scared
by germs, the sleep seemed more interesting. Besides we
knew we were gonna fight with Eddy Tellers big boomers
and freeze or fry in the aftermath of the 4 day war.
Locating a broken watermelon in the trunk of my car
gave me a lifelong joy in abstract art and a desire
to never see smell-o-vision theatres implemented.
David DeLaney
>But that's not the story. There was this one, quite a large specimen, that
>seemed bad. In order to pick up this behemoth, I had to perform a weight
>lifting squat. I got both arms around it, stood up, and quick as you could
>say "Apple Pan Dowdy", the entire contents of the melon, having liquified,
>empty out of a stress induced rupture, leaving me holding a large watermelon
>skin in a wide pool of melon juice.
BLOATED SACK OF PROTOPLASM!
I've only had that happen with tomatoes, which don't even smell bad while
doing it (at least not the ones we got there). But ick, yes.
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Lleah
"James "Kibo" Parry" <ki...@world.std.com> wrote in message
news:kibo-07120...@ralph.std.com...
> [discussion of bad smells]
>
> Top that, Leah. I bet your supermarket doesn't even sell anything people
> could masturbate with!
Oh yeah?
I sell canteloupe.
Top that, smartarse.
> -- K.
>
> Also, here is a coupon
> for everyone:
>
>
+------------------------+
> |
|
> | -- POTATO CHIPS --
|
> | BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
|
> |
|
BUT ONLY IF YOU
PAY ME FIVE DOLLARS
BECAUSE I AM
KIBO AND I AM A BASTARD
WHO SPREADS
FILTHY LIES ABOUT MASTUR
BATION AND
IS ALSO A GIRL.
>
+------------------------+
HAW HAW!
I messed up his coupon.
-Lleah
PS: Sale on grapes: Buy twelve, get two free!
b r e t t
Now that pretty much everyone has come up with a he-man
list of things that smell worse than my car, would any
of you be willing to swap vehicles until mine dries out?
b
Xcott Craver
>
>Sigh. I hate cascades as much as the next guy, but still I'm compelled
>to say
>
>LIVER!
I HATE LIVER, LIVER MAKES ME QUIVER,
LIVER MAKES ME THROW UP AND DOWN (makes me cry!)
Livlivlivliv(LIV-VER)livlivlivliv(LIV-VER!)
livliv(LIV)livliv(LIV!)livliv(LIV-VER!!)
Livlivlivliv(LIV-VER)livlivlivliv(LIV-VER!)
livliv(LIV)livliv(LIV!)livliv(LIV-VER!!) <--from the liver song
-S
[Don't make me sing "The Eggplant that Ate Chicago."]
Fantod
>That Natl Geographic on smells several years ago was amusing.
>They had a panel of smells in the article.
In a later edition, a letter requested that there be a durian smell. Even
durian's fans admit they (the durians) (also, the fans) smell bad, so a
scratch and sniff durian is just plain evil. It is the stench without the
hideous pulpy mass that makes eating durian so rewarding.
Soundtrack: Morning 40 Federation's Stinky
http://www.wfmu.org/listen.php?show=1677&starttime=2:12:53
--
Patrick Phelan
w____\\W//___w Te Hupenui
46 72 69 6E 6B 20 72 75 6C 65 73 21
http://copeland.choicelogic.com/~phelan/
phy
news:wcPP7.3704$Oh1.38881@insync:
>
> I have discovered the Worst Smell. It is my car, after flooding.
>
> $800 to replace the carpeting. Crap.
>
>
> b
Some kid waay back in 5th grade use to pee in the radiator in the boy's
room. Then it would turn on and get hot. That was the worst stink. It
happened many times and I think they never caught him.
-phy
Glenn Knickerbocker
Burrage) wrote:
>almost continuously for the last five minutes and the rear of the
>plane was awash with puke. Then the smell hit me. And then I puked.
Stephen King does this WAY worse than you.
"Alabama and Auburn college football is the 'opiate of the massahs.'"
--Unclaimed Mysteries /\/\/ http://www.bestweb.net/~notr \/\/\ ŹR
James Kibo Parry
> > people could masturbate with!
>
> Oh yeah?
> I sell canteloupe.
Leah, people aren't stupid. Just because you shave your durians, you can't
pass them off as canteloupes. And labelling the pointy bits you removed
as "irregular water chestnuts" is really low.
> Top that, smartarse.
At *my* imaginary supermarket, this week we're having a special on
both Canteloupe Topper (which is shaped like a hat and comes in
Peanut Butter Sombrero, Crispy Wimple, and Figgy Fez) and Durian Topper
(which is shaped like an inverted bucket and includes a tube of silicone
adhesive to make an airtight seal with the floor.)
Of course, Crispy Wimple isn't really shaped like a hat, and so due
to the food-labelling laws it says "A WIMPLE IS NOT A HAT" in fine print,
but nobody reads the fine print anyway because consumers are stupid.
And at Kibo's Imaginary Supermarket, we're the only market that
doesn't take advantage of the fact that consumers are stupid! My market
is friendly to shoppers of any level of intelligence, no matter how dumb,
as long as they're willing to buy a fair product at a good price.
At Kibo's Imaginary Supermarket, our most important special is YOU!
> PS: Sale on grapes: Buy twelve, get two free!
Big deal. This week, I'm doubling all my competitor's coupons.
No, actually, I'm tripling them! But wait! I'm going even further!
I'm multiplying all my competitor's coupons by A HUNDRED!
So if you get a coupon saying "FIFTY CENTS OFF FRUIT ROLL-UPS AT LEAH'S",
Leah has to pay you fifty dollars if you take the coupon over there.
Plus she'll give you free Fruit Roll-Ups because I said so and due
to the Truth In Advertising Law it became true once I advertised it.
-- K.
Also, all the shopping carts at
Kibo's Imaginary Supermarket have
seven wheels, so even if three
of them get completely gummed up
it will still be fun to push.
David Pacheco
> > PS: Sale on grapes: Buy twelve, get two free!
YM "Buy ten for the price of twelve, get two free!"
and then later on ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) said:
> Big deal. This week, I'm doubling all my competitor's coupons.
> No, actually, I'm tripling them! But wait! I'm going even further!
> I'm multiplying all my competitor's coupons by A HUNDRED!
Me too! But only the cash value part.
- david pacheco
James Kibo Parry
Yeah, they got it when Klinger left it hanging in Potter's office
when they all went to "AfterM*A*S*H", except for Alan Alda, who went
to Atari until they were all reunited by IBM.
> I had to sweep out the gas chamber with no mask just
> for sleeping in NBC class. Since I'd already been fried
> multiple times with fallout, knew enough bio to expect
> a quick death from nerve gas and was too mean to be scared
> by germs, the sleep seemed more interesting. Besides we
> knew we were gonna fight with Eddy Tellers big boomers
> and freeze or fry in the aftermath of the 4 day war.
Isn't the training supposed to include learning to sleep with your mask
on in case there's ever a war that lasts longer than 12 hours?
If Frank Burns kept yelling at me, "WAKE UP! YOU'RE MISSING THE WAR!"
it would take all the fun out of it.
I like how in the U.S., super-awesome wars are called "NBC wars"
(nuclear/biological/chemical) while in England they're called "ABC wars"
(atomic/biological/chemical) which to me implies that there must be
some part of the world where they're called "CBS wars" and some
really pathetic country that has "Game Show Network wars".
Also, every English-speaking country has a TV network or production
company named "ABC" (as in "American Broadcasting Corporation",
"Allied British Corporation", or "Australian Broadcasting Corporation")
except for Canada, which isn't really English-speaking. Or a country.
> Locating a broken watermelon in the trunk of my car
> gave me a lifelong joy in abstract art and a desire
> to never see smell-o-vision theatres implemented.
One of the neat things about watermelons is that when David Letterman
used to do clever stuff like dropping things on the ground I learned
that watermelons explode in a beatiful star-shaped splash of color
when they hit the ground end-on. If only we could combine a rancid
watermelon with a daisy cutter we could have the ultimate antipersonnel
weapon, and then we could send Dave to drop it on the Taliban.
-- K.
I just know that right now someone's
pitching the Fox network a
sitcom described as "like M*A*S*H
but in Afghanistan!"
They better not steal my idea of
"a live-action Simpsons", though.
If I see any shows where Seth Green
is painted yellow, I'll sue!
Lots42
> They better not steal my idea of
> "a live-action Simpsons", though.
> If I see any shows where Seth Green
> is painted yellow, I'll sue!
It was a very special episode of 'Buffy'.
Glenn Dowdy
>
> Isn't the training supposed to include learning to sleep with your mask
> on in case there's ever a war that lasts longer than 12 hours?
>
full gear. We used to have to do physical exercises in full gear in the
lovely DC summertime.
I have nothing even remotely funny to say about PT in MOPP gear.
Glenn D.
James Kibo Parry
> > on in case there's ever a war that lasts longer than 12 hours?
>
> Don't remember any sleep training, although I got where I could sleep in
> full gear. We used to have to do physical exercises in full gear in the
> lovely DC summertime.
Well, of course. The mosquitoes will eat you alive otherwise.
They're far deadlier than even Sarin gas. This is why every spring
they spray all the trees with malathion, which is NOT AT ALL RELATED
TO SARIN GAS and I can prove it because they don't rhyme.
Last time I was in Canada (in Edmonton, which is somewhere north of
the really wide part of Montana) there were the giant non-American
mosquitoes that would land on my back (I made the mistake of wearing
black, which they like) and they kept biting me not only through my
shirt but through my jacket AND shirt at the same time. They were
about the size of wild rice with wings and legs, unlike regular
American mosquitoes which are the size of sushi rice with wings and legs.
(Remember, always check your sushi for wings.)
I have no idea whether a good hazmat suit would protect against these
deadly Canadian mosquitoes (which I think have cross-bred with Africanized
honeybees) but I suspect they would require fifty alternating layers of
Kevlar, Tyvek, Saranex, and linoleum to achieve full protection against
deadly foreign skeeters.
> I have nothing even remotely funny to say about PT in MOPP gear.
Well, you could have told your instructor some wacky pun about how
you had to mop out the gas room in MOPP gear, and called it a "MOPP-UPP
operation", and then added "THAT'S A PUN! HA HA HA HA!" but then he
would have added extra punishment like mopping down the entire room
with your tongue, or having your MOPP suit filled with mosquitoes,
or having to peel a giant potato from the inside.
I apologize if the above is unrealistic. We civilians think military life
is just like fraternity hazing as depicted in bad "Animal House" knockoffs
with olive-drab toga parties. Oh, and also, the soldiers spend all their
time figuring out which platoon members are virgins so that they can
get them laid in exotic foreign whorehouses, except on "Sgt. Bilko" where
it was just about swindling people.
-- K.
How come they don't have
different MOPP suits for
men and women? The women
should get sexy ones that
show their legs.
By the way, an illustration
showing the sequence of
donning MOPP gear is at
http://www.gulflink.osd.mil/mopp/fig2.htm
and I think it would be a pain to have
to shave my head and get taller
every time I went from MOPP-0 to MOPP-1.
Otto Bahn
___
> / \
> / \
> | |
> | This |
> | is |
> | a bin |
> | |
> |_______|~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Those are the maggots
>
> They weren't actually in such a tight formation as the graphic may suggest,
> but they were all heading the same direction.
Now you know where your housemate hid the corpse.
--oTTo--