Potatoes
Dean Lenort
A couple of friends open up their house to a traditional feast with the
attendees without family in the area bringing the assorted traditional side
dishes, an array of desserts to send the healthiest soul into diabetic
shock, and of course it's BYOB so that you can't get blitzed on your
favored elixirs.
This year my task was the all important job of providing the mashed
potatoes. Being a major potato eater myself (and also a somewhat larger
individual than is the norm) I really had no idea what a standard serving
might be. A pound? Pound-and-a-half?
It appears my estimates were somewhat skewed as a quick google informed me
that about a half-pound should prove sufficient for most people.
A ten pound bag of peeled russets filled up a large pot rather nicely
although mixing in the butter and milk proved to be a bit of a challenge,
but what's a little spillover between friends?
So anyhow, I brought the potatoes essentially plain with only the
ingredients listed above except for a bit of black pepper. And you know
what? THOSE PEOPLE HAD THE UNMITIGATED GALL TO SEND ME HOME WITH
LEFTOVERS!
So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
THAadvanceNKS!
--
Dean Lenort | Go not to the kibologists for advice, for they
dean.lenort | will say both "Bacon" and "Pez".
@att.net | - James Vandenberg
Kevin S. Wilson
wrote:
>So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
>ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
>potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
>on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
Roasted garlic.
Chives.
Also, you mispelled "potatos."
--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a university somewhere in Idaho
"When you can't do something completely impractical and intrinsically
useless *yourself*, you go get the Kibologists to do it for you." --J. Furr
Darla Vladschyk
>So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
>ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
>potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
>on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
Hmmm. Well, half-and-half instead of milk, real butter, salt and
ground pepper, and a bit of nutmeg as the Sekrit Ingredient. For a
reasonably-sized pot (containing, say, a half-dozen russets) I would
grate about half a smallish nut. It's really a taste thing. You want
the nutmeg to dance around juuuust at the edge of the consumer's full
cognition.
Okaythen.
-=D=-
--
"On Election Night the voice of the people was heard.
I will refrain from imitating it out of respect for the
mentally retarded." ---Louis Black
Dean Lenort
> On Sun, 28 Nov 2004 14:57:20 GMT, Dean Lenort <dean....@att.net>
> wrote:
>
> >So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
> >ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
> >potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
> >on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
>
> Gravy. But that would have been the job of the person who provided
> the turkey. Or you could have offered to make the gravy.
Actually, the gravy was quite good this year with ample amounts on hand.
As I didn't have any animal squeezings at hand it would have proven
difficult to make the gravy as you can't have proper gravy without animal
squeezings.
This also brings to mind the information on the same web site that informed
me of the advice on the half-pound serving size. It went something like:
One thing we do know for sure is that the 2.76 tablespoon
gravy boat that you own will be inadequate to the task.
Don't know about y'all, but I've been annoyed by miniature gravy boats more
than a few times.
This of course calls for a short story involving Lilliputians sailing
oceans of gravy in their tiny boats, firing Durkee fried onions from their
ineffective bows while flinging too hard dinner rolls from catapults (or
trebuchets if you prefer) cobbled together in true A-Team form from wax
candles, but my literary chops aren't up to the task.
--
Dean Lenort | Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of crochet!
dean....@att.net | -- Theresa Willis
plorkwort
Dean Lenort <dean....@att.net> wrote:
>This of course calls for a short story involving Lilliputians sailing
>oceans of gravy in their tiny boats, firing Durkee fried onions from their
>ineffective bows while flinging too hard dinner rolls from catapults (or
>trebuchets if you prefer) cobbled together in true A-Team form from wax
>candles, but my literary chops aren't up to the task.
You were at my family's Thanksgiving too? I didn't see you behind the
mashed potatoes and the 5-gallon garishly gilded Ukrainian teapot.
plorkwort.
--
A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *that had to mean something*.
-- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
Tim Chmielewski
news:63pjq0dmadbe26rnu...@4ax.com:
> So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering
> what ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the
> turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them
> gorging themselves on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
>
"Potato, after potato! It's very good, but it's like torture to as
tasters!"
- Whining Rosajin Scholar Judge
"PO-TA-TOES! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!"
- Sam
"If this is going to be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in
the mashed potatoes!"
- Beastie Boys
--
GIT Groupie : http://gitgroupie.timchuma.com
The Twits Give Me the Shits : http://twitsgivemetheshits.timchuma.com
My Photos : http://photos.timchuma.com
crgr
> On Sun, 28 Nov 2004, bar...@bookpro.com wrote:
>
>> On Sun, 28 Nov 2004 14:57:20 GMT, Dean Lenort <dean....@att.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm
>> >wondering what ingredient I left out that would have had people
>> >spurning the turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and
>> >instead had them gorging themselves on pound after pound of mashed
>> >potatoey goodness.
>>
>> Gravy. But that would have been the job of the person who provided
>> the turkey. Or you could have offered to make the gravy.
>
> Actually, the gravy was quite good this year with ample amounts on
> hand.
>
If there was gravy, then you must have been eating with Atkinoids.
shelly
>So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm
>wondering what ingredient I left out that would have had
>people spurning the turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing and
>whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves on pound
>after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
first of all, you need to add salt to the cooking water.
potatoEs boiled without salt are ptoui. second, add (lots
of!) sour cream instead of milk. third, add butter. fourth,
add more salt if needed. pepper is optional. some weirdos
seem to like it, though i'll never understand why. you can
also add garlic, chives, onion, bacon, or anything else your
little heart desires, but i like my mashed potatoEs nice and
beige.
another thing to consider is what kind of potatoE you're
starting out with. russets are nice and starchy and are best
for smashing. some people take it as step further and use
Yukon Gold potatoEs, but i find YGs to be a bit on the sweet
side. i'd personally stick with a nice, plain IdeehoE
potatoE.
mmmm, potatoEs...
Rich Holmes
> So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
> ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
> potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
> on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
A five year old son.
--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes <http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/>
"Get a PhD, become a gokmop, rejoice in your learned unemployability
and sneer I say SNEER at those sad muttonheads who have wasted their
lives doing nothing better than trousering $millions." -- John D Salt
John D Salt
news:Pine.BSF.4.56.04...@tesla.bluemarble.net:
[Snips]
> another thing to consider is what kind of potatoE you're
> starting out with. russets are nice and starchy and are
> best for smashing. some people take it as step further and
> use Yukon Gold potatoEs, but i find YGs to be a bit on the
> sweet side. i'd personally stick with a nice, plain IdeehoE
> potatoE.
Cor crikey, you funny Amurricans. Wacky accents, funny money,
silly spelling and now weirdly unUkrainian potatoE varieties.
Do you have Estima over there? Cara? King Edward?
[Waits for response "no thanks, I;ve just put one out"]
All the best,
John.
Marc Goodman
> Do you have Estima over there? Cara? King Edward?
No, I used to, but they make the pee go everywhere,
so I let them close up again.
WTF!
Jacob W. Haller
> So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
> ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
> potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
> on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
Perhaps a little sculpture of a flat-topped mountain will do the trick.
| |
| /
|-/-----ARE------------------
|/ WE
|-----------NOT--------------
|\
|-\---------------------------
| \ FRIENDS.
|--|--------------------------
------------------------------
YOUR
-jwgh
--
"I used to be better at logic problems, before I just dumped
them all into TeX and let Knuth pick out the survivors."
-- Plorkwort, 26 September 2004 on alt.religion.kibology
shelly
>Do you have Estima over there? Cara? King Edward?
>
>[Waits for response "no thanks, I;ve just put one out"]
with or without his jacket?
Steve Christensen
> So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
> ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
> potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
> on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
1 Cup(s) Robitussin
And to further ruin your leftovers, here's a website I found when trying
to figure out how to spell Robitussin:
http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/cm.html
What is the recommended dose of guaifenesin?
The recommended dose for improving cervical mucus, based on a 1982
article in Fertility and Sterility, is two teaspoons (200 mg)
taken orally three times per day. If mucus still appears thick and
doesn't have good spinnbarkeit (ability to stretch), one can take
as much as four teaspoons (400 mg) four times per day (the maximum
dose on this over the counter medication). Each dose should be
taken with a full glass of water, and attention should be given to
drinking plenty of fluids throughout the day -- one needs water to
produce mucus.
<GI Joe>
Knowing is half the battle!
</GI Joe>
-Steve
--
I would like to know if you slimes ever get tired of God destroying your
lousy lifes. -- Kurt Stocklmeir
John Schmidt
wrote:
>So after eating potatoes for each meal the last few days I'm wondering what
>ingredient I left out that would have had people spurning the turkey, sweet
>potatoes, stuffing and whatnot else and instead had them gorging themselves
>on pound after pound of mashed potatoey goodness.
Truffle shallot butter. We mixed it in with the mashed potatoes, and
also used it as the binding agent for the turkey's herb rub. Dried
truffles work nicely - thank Gawd, since fresh truffles cost ONE!
MILLION! DOLLARS! EACH!
Anyway, the spuds were yum-yum-yummy, and were consumed with much
gusto.
JS