The Bozo Code
Andrew Bulhak
THE BOZO CODE
=============
a) BOZONOMICAL CLASSIFICATION
-- --------------------------
BK Bozo of Kibology
BDi Bozo of Discordianism
BSg Bozo of SubGenius
BSp Bozo of SPAM
BB Bozo of Barney (for)
B!B Bozo of Barney (against)
BFr Bozo of Lemurs
BCth Bozo of Cthulhu
BST Bozo of Star Trek
BOSE Bozo of Operating System Evangelism
BB1 B0Z0 OF B1FF!ZM!!!!
BWnrBrn Bozo of flamage
BUFO Bozo of UFO Conspiracy
B** Bozo of alt.fan.warlord
BXZY Bozo of Youthful C/LISP/network Wizardry
!B Not a bozo
b) OPERATING SYSTEM CLASSIFICATION
-- -------------------------------
OS- I don't care as long as it does what I want...
OS1 Hey, I like Windows, back off!
OS2 OS/2 is the wave of the future. UNIX is a pig with barnacles and
all who use it are either Commies or should have their heads examined.
OS3 AM1GA 600 R00LZ & 1Z K00L, EV3N K00LR THAN STAR TREK!!!!!
OS4 Same as OS3 but with extra !s and octothorpes and a nice big
Amiga check.
OS5 I like Linux.
OS6 Alternative UNIX? No, Industrial Punk UNIX!
OS7 Anything that runs on Intel chips is EVIL.
OS8 Anything that runs on Intel or Motorola chips is EVIL.
OS9 Archimedes forever!
OSA Bring back the PDP8!
c) BOZOTIC OPINIONS
-- ----------------
(Note: determine your reading by ORing together the codes for all you
hold; all values are in hexadecimal.)
OP1 TIME has INERTIA
OP2 NeXTstep is not UNIX
OP4 Windows/NT is UNIX
OP8 The universe is a plutonium atom
OP10 ARMENIAN X-ists killed 25 BILLION turks!
OP20 SOVIET CO$MO$PHERE$ BLEW UP THE MARS-OB$ERVER
OP40 Elvis is alive in Mt. Shasta; his records contain messages from aliens
in Solar Max.
OP80 I AM THE GREATEST! I AM A LIVING GOD AND ONLY I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO
POST TO THE NET SO THAT EVERYBODY CAN READ MY SACRED WORDS AND BOW DOWN
BEFORE THEIR LORD AND SAVIOUR!!!
d) FOOD
-- ----
S0 SPAM is EVIL!
S1 SPAM is good; TREET is EVIL!
S2 SPAM is good; CHEEZ-WHIZ is EVIL!
S3 Soylent Green is people!
S4 I live for Jolt
S5 What is lutefisk?
e) VOCABULARY
-- ----------
(Select the word from the following list that you used most recently.)
V0 Fnord
V1 Sil
V2 Blennioid
V3 Frink
V4 Xvob
V5 Foo
V6 Fhtagn
f) SELF-DESCRIPTION
-- ----------------
Complete the following sentence in 25 words or less.
[am]
I a bozo because ______________________________________________
[am not]
--
A BOZO! * I
NOT AM
AM NOT
******** **********
I ******** *********** A Andrew Bulhak, Kibologian
******** **** **** and bozonomer
******** **** **** B
* ******** **** **** O a...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
******** **** **** Z
! ****** ********** O
O ****** ********** !
Z ****** **** ****
O **** **** **** *
B **** ****
**** **** **** I
A **** ***********
**** ********** A
TO M
N MA TON
I * !OZOB A
David C Winters
>THE BOZO CODE
[Much deleted here & there.]
I love codes. Codes are wonderful.
However, this one does have, IMHO, a slight flaw: it doesn't have a
switch to identify which newsgroup(s) you post to when you have a
question for Kibo to answer you. Personally, I post all of my questions
to Kibo in soc.people.with.severe.depressions. Or
megabozo.comp.macintosh.
>BK Bozo of Kibology
>OS- I don't care as long as it does what I want...
>OP1 TIME has INERTIA
>S1 SPAM is good; TREET is EVIL!
>V0 Fnord
> -->[am]<--
>I a bozo because _{see_below}__________________________________
> [am not]
So, this is me:
BKOS-OP1S1V0{I am a bozo because I think that I'm not a bozo.}
--
David wint...@pitt.edu
A pause for station identification in the middle of the search for the
perfect .sig file...
TIME DOE$ _NOT_ HAVE INERTIA; IN$TEAD, INERTIA HA$ TIME.