What I Like

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Darla Vladschyk

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Oct 3, 2001, 9:19:25 PM10/3/01
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When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's
name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
me chuckle.

That's it for now, thanks.

-=D=-


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
http://www.thesalon.org/Darla
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Jeremy Impson

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Oct 3, 2001, 9:58:43 PM10/3/01
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Oh yeah, I know what you like..

On Thu, 4 Oct 2001, Darla Vladschyk wrote:

>
> When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's
> name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
> me chuckle.

But doesn't it keep you awake? If it's sleepy time, Ed shouldn't be
keeping you awake, no matter how big the show is.


--Jeremy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy Impson
http://nwc.syr.edu/~jdimpson

revjack

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Oct 3, 2001, 10:44:51 PM10/3/01
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Darla Vladschyk <DarlaVl...@hotmail.com> wrote:

: When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's


: name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
: me chuckle.

fla-MIN!-e-eeeeeewwwwwwwww

Ed would fit inta Balmer just fine

"lits gew BEWlin, fla-MIN!-e-eeeeeewwwwwwwww"

--
___________________
rev...@revjack.net

Bill Marcum

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Oct 4, 2001, 12:16:20 AM10/4/01
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Darla Vladschyk wrote in message <3bbbb8c6....@news.eastlink.ca>...

>
>When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's
>name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
>me chuckle.
>
>That's it for now, thanks.
>
We have a really big shew for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Right
here on our stage in the David Letterman Theatre, Bob Flaminio (applause),
Leonardo Di Caprio (more applause), Topo Gigio (still more
applause), and those damn plate spinners! (crickets)

Lester Mosley

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Oct 4, 2001, 12:23:06 AM10/4/01
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On Thu, 4 Oct 2001 00:16:20 -0400, "Bill Marcum" <bma...@iglou.com>
wrote:


What!?!?!?! damnit the guy that runs the applause sign mixed it up
AGAIN! How did Leo get Applause????

pete

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Oct 4, 2001, 6:21:32 AM10/4/01
to

When I was a rugrat, Chinese acrobats spinning plates,
kicked ass. I didn't dig the Beatles and I never liked Elvis.

--
pete

marika

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Oct 4, 2001, 9:37:01 AM10/4/01
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Lester Mosley <Lester...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<ltonrtopt8mp9uho0...@4ax.com>...

>
> What!?!?!?! damnit the guy that runs the applause sign mixed it up
> AGAIN! How did Leo get Applause????

alert Mark Sharpe!

Darla Vladschyk

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Oct 4, 2001, 12:28:27 PM10/4/01
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On Wed, 3 Oct 2001 21:58:43 -0400, Jeremy Impson
<jdim...@tasslehoff.nwc.syr.edu> wrote:

>
>Oh yeah, I know what you like..
>
>On Thu, 4 Oct 2001, Darla Vladschyk wrote:
>
>>
>> When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's
>> name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
>> me chuckle.
>
>But doesn't it keep you awake? If it's sleepy time, Ed shouldn't be
>keeping you awake, no matter how big the show is.

No, it's okay, It's the nice, happy thing that chases away all the
bad dreams and helps me go to sleep!

Last night I had a very long, very lucid dream about meeting Marlon
Brando. He told me that his favourite movie of his was "On the
Waterfront," and that he had only truly loved Tarita, his South
Pacific wife. We had a really long, nice chat, and he drank coffee
and ate cereal I fixed for him. He tried to feel my bqqbies, but that
was okay because, hey, Marlon Brando! Turns out he was at my
husband's cousin's house for a series of talks about film and stuff.
We got to be quite chummy in the dream, and I was sad when it ended.

It was much MUCH better than the dream I had a week ago, in which I
was climbing around on the WTC rubble and I uncovered what appeared to
be the decapitated head of a victim. It was covered with gray dust,
and I stood there for a moment, silent and respectful, thinking about
what the right procedure was for removing it to a remains receptacle.
I bent down to gently lift it, and when I did, the eyes POPPED open
with a flutter of dust and the mouth opened and said "Help me," very
calmly.

I screamed so loud I woke myself up and scared the living crap out of
Vlad, who then went downstairs and made me some tea. What a nice guy!

All in all, I'd rather dream about Marlon Brando.

-=D=-
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
http://www.thesalon.org/Darla
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Bob Flaminio

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Oct 4, 2001, 12:59:51 PM10/4/01
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"Darla Vladschyk" <DarlaVl...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3bbbb8c6....@news.eastlink.ca...

> When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob
Flaminio's
> name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always
makes
> me chuckle.
>
> That's it for now, thanks.

This is my most favoritest thread in the history of the Universe.

-Bob


Otto Bahn

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Oct 4, 2001, 1:02:53 PM10/4/01
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Darla Vladschyk wrote:

> He tried to feel my bqqbies, but that
> was okay because, hey, Marlon Brando!

And I thought EveryWoman had erotic dreams about
Sean Connery!

> It was much MUCH better than the dream I had a week ago, in which I
> was climbing around on the WTC rubble and I uncovered what appeared to
> be the decapitated head of a victim. It was covered with gray dust,
> and I stood there for a moment, silent and respectful, thinking about
> what the right procedure was for removing it to a remains receptacle.
> I bent down to gently lift it, and when I did, the eyes POPPED open
> with a flutter of dust and the mouth opened and said "Help me," very
> calmly.

You have cool dreams. Can I borrow them sometime?

--oTTo--

Darla Vladschyk

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Oct 4, 2001, 2:16:39 PM10/4/01
to
On Thu, 04 Oct 2001 13:02:53 -0400, Otto Bahn
<JGA...@tkennedy.mc.duke.edu> wrote:

>You have cool dreams. Can I borrow them sometime?

You can HAVE that one, free, no-charge, gratis.

-=D=-

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
http://www.thesalon.org/Darla
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Chris McGonnell

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Oct 4, 2001, 2:21:33 PM10/4/01
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"Darla Vladschyk" wrotea...

>
> When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's
> name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
> me chuckle.

Do you also say, "Eddie, kiss me goo'night," and giggle?


--
Topo McG.
Harming humanity since 1951
"This post has a child-proof cap" -- David Pacheco


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Darla Vladschyk

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Oct 4, 2001, 2:20:33 PM10/4/01
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On Thu, 4 Oct 2001 14:21:33 -0400, "Chris McGonnell"
<sme...@key-net.net> wrote:

>"Darla Vladschyk" wrotea...
>>
>> When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's
>> name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
>> me chuckle.
>
>Do you also say, "Eddie, kiss me goo'night," and giggle?

I've been tempted, but I know it would worry Vlad.

-=D=-
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
http://www.thesalon.org/Darla
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Jacob W. Haller

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Oct 4, 2001, 2:58:24 PM10/4/01
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I had an odd dream a couple of nights ago. The only thing I remember
about it was that at one point I looked down at my (bare) feet and
noticed that one of toenails was really long. "That's kind of gross," I
thought. "I should make a mental note to clip my toenails soon."

It was oddly unsettling.

-jw"AND WHEN I WOKE UP MY PILLOW WAS GONE"gh

--
"FOR TO COMPILE UNDER UNIX, IT IS EASY TO USE GNU C++." "BUT WHERE ARE
THE MONKEY-CHILDREN?!!"
- Stephen Swift, "Friend Bear" http://www.friendbear.com/166-001.gif

Chris

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Oct 4, 2001, 4:45:48 PM10/4/01
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On Thu, 4 Oct 2001, pete wrote:

> When I was a rugrat, Chinese acrobats spinning plates,
> kicked ass. I didn't dig the Beatles and I never liked Elvis.

Beatles - rank
Elvis - tuff

that is all.

James Kibo Parry

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Oct 4, 2001, 7:33:21 PM10/4/01
to
Darla Vladschyk (DarlaVl...@hotmail.com) wrote:
>
> Last night I had a very long, very lucid dream about meeting Marlon
> Brando. He told me that his favourite movie of his was "On the
> Waterfront," and that he had only truly loved Tarita, his South
> Pacific wife. We had a really long, nice chat, and he drank coffee
> and ate cereal I fixed for him. He tried to feel my bqqbies, but that
> was okay because, hey, Marlon Brando! Turns out he was at my
> husband's cousin's house for a series of talks about film and stuff.
> We got to be quite chummy in the dream, and I was sad when it ended.

My word. He survived my dream in which his face got stolen by Frank Sinatra,
even after I turned the dream into a Spot story without making it any weirder.

Did he mention getting any horrible lung diseases from inhaling that
stick of butter in "Last Tango In Paris"? I've never seen the movie,
but I understand it's the movie to see if you like watching people
shove butter into their faces.


/////////// a favorite RE-RUN /////////////////////////////////////////////


From: James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com)
Subject: FACE!THE!NATION (story, new) and another DUMB DREAM!
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology, rec.arts.movies.current-films
Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 1997 19:26:34 GMT

Last night I dreamed I was at this party with Frank Sinatra.
The old guy started to sing (I don't remember which song), and
collapsed. They rushed him away somewhere and strapped his head
into this big machine, which ripped off his face (he starts
screaming here) and... a robot arm put Marlon Brando's face on him!

Now, that's dumber than the dream where Jeff Foxworthy came over
and died, or the one where I was Harlan Ellison, or the one
where I was George Bush in elementary school, or the one where I
was playing videogames with Claudia Christian. (It's FAR dumber
than the last one.) It's even dumber than the time I dreamed I
was watching a commercial where Andre the seal blew a raspberry,
in exactly the same way.

You know a movie has a stupid premise when it shows up in your
dreams. I have not seen "FACE/OFF". I have no plans to see
"FACE/OFF". I would hate "FACE/OFF". However, I will explain
the ending in great detail here and now, as I can always guess
these things.

The good guy (who has the bad guy's face) switches faces with a
third guy, who gets gunned down. Then the good guy (with the
innocent bystander's face) captures the bad guy and they switch
faces back. Except, the big face-switching machine drops the
innocent bystander's face on the floor and then puts it on the
bad guy upside down, and he's got an upside-down face forever
and ever! THE END. Also in the next Star Trek film, at the end
Mr. Data shoots Picard with a crossbow! THE END.

Now have a slightly less illogical version of that same plot.
I just made the whole thing up. So sue me.

SPOT - EINSTEIN - FACE/THE/NATION

A FILM BY JAMES "KIBO" PARRY

Copyright (C) 1997 James "Kibo" Parry


It was a warm summer morning in the apartment shared by Albert
Einstein and his dog, Spot. Spot woke up in a puddle of cold
drool, as always. He took a drink of water from his doggie
dish, saw his reflection and screamed! He looked like Albert
Einstein from the neck up!
A guy who looked like Albert Einstein from the neck down,
and Spot from the neck up, strolled into the room. "WHEE!"
shouted Einstein, who was clearly in another of his evil
periods, "WHAT A PREDICAMENT! I've perfected my face-stealing
Xerox machine! La la la!" He grabbed a phone and began
dialing.
Across the room, the other phone rang. Spot answered.
"Hello?"
"IT'S MEEEEEE! I'M INSANE!!!!" shouted Einstein on the
other line. Then he held up a squeaky toy to the mouthpiece and
gave it a good squeeze. "Ha! Now that I am insane and have
someone else's face, I can do whatever I want!"
Spot was stunned by the professor's display of logic.
Einstein ran out the door, bounced down the stairs, hopped into
his sciencemobile, and went off to start his very first crime
spree.
Spot went back to his breakfast, a cold bowl of Alpo. He
began to cry. He didn't like having a long fluffy mustache! It
made the Alpo taste like Alpo with people hair in it instead of
dog hair! And he was getting Alpo all over his big messy
hairdo, too! He ran for the bathroom and stuck his face in the
toilet to wash it off. "Heh heh," he said to himself, "if only
Einstein could see me sticking his face in the toilet. Look!
I'm sticking Einstein's face in the toilet! I'm doing it again!
Eww! This is gross."
Spot shook his face dry. The doorbell rang. It was a
salesman. "Hello, little puppy who looks like Albert Einstein,"
he said, "I'm The Man With Bogart's Face. See?" He held up a
glass jar with something decomposing in it. "I've been endorsed
by Harlan Ellison!" Spot slammed the door in the guy's face,
breaking the jar and sending Bogart-flavored formaldehyde
running down the stairs.
Ding dong! The doorbell rang again. "You better not be the
stupid jar guy!" shouted Spot as he ran back to open it again.
On the other side was a guy who looked like Frank Sinatra, only
in his underwear and weighing about six hundred pounds. He had
an ice bucket on his head.
"Duhhh, lookit me, I'm Frank Sinaaaaaatraaaaaa!" screamed
the man in a high-pitched, effeminate singsong voice, while
twirling around. Then he put on some purple eyeshadow. "I'm
Fraaaaaaaaank Sinaaaaaaaaatra! Lookit me!" Spot ran past him
to escape, and to look for the evil Einstein with his face. The
Sinatra guy looked disappointed. "Oh, rats. Back to my
iiiiiislannnnnd!"
Spot knocked several fruit carts and hay wagons into
swimming pools filled with rad teens and stuck-up rich guys, and
caught up with Einstein at the mall. They knocked over every
item in every store, one by one, and then broke every piece of
glass within fifty miles with sledgehammers! Spot chased
Einstein into Air Force One, which was parked outside. The
plane took off. Einstein picked up the President and started
beating Spot over the head with him!
"Ow! Ow!" shouted Spot.
"Yow! Yow!" shouted the President.
"Ha ha ha!" laughed Evil Einstein, not realizing that behind
him Spot could see the approaching alien mothership. Spot hit
the nuclear destruct button on the President's belt and jumped
out of the airplane just before Air Force One destroyed the
alien ship in a huge nuclear fireball! By flapping his little
paws, Spot was able to fly away from the nuclear blast, barely
outrunning it.
"I'll see you in Helllllll!" screamed Einstein, firing his
gun upwards at the camera as he was blasted out of the airplane.
Fortunately, he had a parachute in his sock! Spot flapped his
paws and flew over to him and wrestled the sock away and put it
on, then pulled the ripcord. Einstein fell on a big puffy circus
tent, which bounced him onto the caboose of the Orient Express
which was entering the Chunnel at supersonic speed.
Spot parachuted into the cockpit of an unoccupied helicopter
which was hovering nearby and flew into the tunnel after
Einstein, who had already run to the front of the train.
Einstein turned the train around, making it swerve to hit Spot!
The helicopter was smashed, and Spot was hurled through the air
into a blast furnace which was filled with liquid nitrogen.
Einstein followed, but Spot tricked him into stepping into a
puddle of liquid nitrogen, which made his whole body shatter.
But he was made of liquid metal and all the pieces came back
together, as Spot ran for the only thing that could save him
now: a cardboard cupcake.
"Look!" said Spot, "I have a cardboard cupcake and you
don't!"
"Yeah, but I'm you, so YOU don't have a cardboard cupcake!"
"Waah!" Spot cried! "You're supposed to fall for my trick so
that everyone in the audience can cheer and holler when you get
killed in an incredibly gory way!"
Einstein knocked the cupcake out of Spot's paw. "Say your
prayers, Einsteinheaded little puppy! I'm going to pull the
trigger on this bazooka and blow you to pieces in five seconds!
FIVE!"
The cardboard cupcake was slowly falling to the ground.
"FOUR!" In continued falling. "THREE!" It fell some more.
"TWO!" Falling, falling. "ONE!" The cupcake had almost
fallen all the way to the ground three feet below. "ZERO! I'M
GOING TO PULL THE TRIGGER....... NOW!"
Einstein pulled the trigger. The bazooka's deadly
projectile was halfway to Spot's Einsteinhead, when the cupcake
fell on the button that made Spot's face (on Einstein's head)
morph into a thousand deadly black widow spiders!
"AAAAIIIIEEEE!" screamed evil Einstein, "THE SPIDERS ARE EATING
YOUR FACE!"
Einstein then fell off the catwalk into a vat of molten
metal, which was poured into a mold which made it into a rocket
ship, which was then fired into the Sun, knocking over three
more fruit carts along the way. The Sun exploded, and Spot
barely outran the blast on a moped! Then he had sex with one of
the many people who are turned on by dogs with Einstein heads.
Oh, and while doing it, he faced the nation, especially those
stuck-up rich guys in the pool. Everyone in the audience cheered!

THE END


/////////// end of the RE-RUN /////////////////////////////////////////////


Incidentally, speaking of lethal butter fumes, for some reason it smells
like garlic butter in here. Apparently someone in one of the other
apartments is cooking something and somehow teleporting the fumes into
my bedroom to kill me.

It smells like yellow butter with green flecks in it, possibly parsley,
possibly anthrax.

-- K.

If it smelled like killer mushrooms
and butter I could say something
about "Last Mutango, Fungus Of Terror,
In Paris."

Lester Mosley

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Oct 4, 2001, 8:43:20 PM10/4/01
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On Thu, 4 Oct 2001 09:59:51 -0700, "Bob Flaminio" <b...@flaminio.com>
wrote:

To bad the history of this Universe is just until some kid turns off
simcity. I hope he is using the money cheat so roads don't go bad and
has the cash for when he gets bored causes mass disasters and has the
little fire departments that is every other block to put out the mass
fires. Mostly in the police stations because those are in between
every other block.


Jeremy Impson

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Oct 4, 2001, 9:16:47 PM10/4/01
to
On Thu, 4 Oct 2001, Darla Vladschyk wrote:

> On Thu, 4 Oct 2001 14:21:33 -0400, "Chris McGonnell"
> <sme...@key-net.net> wrote:
>
> >"Darla Vladschyk" wrotea...
> >>
> >> When I am sleepy, I like to imagine Ed Sullivan saying Bob Flaminio's
> >> name really loud. I can hear it in my mind's ear, and it always makes
> >> me chuckle.
> >
> >Do you also say, "Eddie, kiss me goo'night," and giggle?
>
> I've been tempted, but I know it would worry Vlad.

If I had a woman, and if she had vivid, erotic dreams of other man, I
could do worse than they were of Ed Sullivan. Who is dead and not
particularly attractive.

Glenn Knickerbocker

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Oct 4, 2001, 11:12:17 PM10/4/01
to
On Thu, 4 Oct 2001 23:33:21 GMT, James "Kibo" Parry wrote:
>You know a movie has a stupid premise when it shows up in your
>dreams. I have not seen "FACE/OFF". I have no plans to see
>"FACE/OFF". I would hate "FACE/OFF". However, I will explain

Actually, I found FACE/OFF to be quite enjoyable and entirely worth
putting up with its stupid premise. Except for one thing: They made the
stupid premise even stupider. The stupidest part of the stupid premise
was that the face-switch would work because the two men's eyes were so
similar. Have we never heard of colored contacts? Would it be so hard
to inject the corneas with dye if there was too much risk of losing a
contact? But wait! That's not the even stupider part yet! Not content
to leave the stupidest part of the stupid premise that stupid, they then
show us their eyes in succession, in giant closeups twelve feet tall
across the entire screen, and we learn that, apparently, nobody involved
in the production ever noticed that Nick Cage's eyes were deep green
while L. John Travolta's were brilliant blue!

For three years Leonard Nimoy painted his skin green and the photo lab
"corrected" it to match everybody else's glowing pink, but now nobody can
fix ten seconds of eyeball closeups to make them anywhere near the same
color.

ŹR the change is forever. asshole.
http://members.aol.com/notr/whynot.r.html

Andrew J. Zimolzak

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Oct 5, 2001, 12:56:36 AM10/5/01
to
Whan that Glenn Knickerbocker the droghte of Thu, 04 Oct 2001 23:12:17
-0400 hath perced to the roote, thanne longen folk to goon on
alt.religion.kibology.

[FACE/OFF]


> The stupidest part of the stupid premise was that the face-switch
> would work because the two men's eyes were so similar. Have we never
> heard of colored contacts?

For me, this was just another in a long line of movies where "We're
going to put this guy in prison for the rest of his life. No parole.
Nobody will know where the prison is. Also, it's impossible to
escape. No, trust me, this guy really, really, really won't escape."
Beable might try to tell you that there's a good reason for this, but
he might be thinking of another movie. He also might try to tell you
that 'gullible' is a real word, so you should prove him wrong by
showing him how it's not in the dictionary.

Notwithstanding the plot points of Face Slash Off, by the end of the
movie, I found myself thinking, "Yet again a guy is flying through the
air shooting two handguns in slow motion. And there go the flying
slow-motion bullets, right on schedule."

And at the very end, couldn't he think of anything better to yell than
"DIIIIIIIIE!!"?

--
Andy Z.

"Bert, do you know me?"

Paradigm Fert

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Oct 5, 2001, 3:25:07 AM10/5/01
to
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wroted:

> Darla Vladschyk (DarlaVl...@hotmail.com) wrote:
> >
> > Last night I had a very long, very lucid
> > dream about meeting Marlon Brando. He told me
> > that his favourite movie of his was "On the
> > Waterfront," and that he had only truly loved
> > Tarita, his South Pacific wife. We had a really
> > long, nice chat, and he drank coffee and ate
> > cereal I fixed for him. He tried to feel my
> > bqqbies, but that was okay because, hey, Marlon Brando

Are we talking "Streetcar Named Desiree" Brando, or "Island
of Dr Moreau" Brando?

> /////////// a favorite RE-RUN
> /////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>
> From: James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com)
> Subject: FACE!THE!NATION (story, new) and another DUMB
> DREAM!

> Now, that's dumber than the dream where Jeff
> Foxworthy came over and died, or the one where
> I was Harlan Ellison, or the one where I was
> George Bush in elementary school, or the one
> where I was playing videogames with Claudia
> Christian. (It's FAR dumber than the last one.)

That wasn't a dream, that REALLY HAPPENED!!!
http://www.claudiachristian.net/tetris/index.html

I don't see Tetris anywhere on YOUR webpagesite (The GAME,
not the word), which has STILL not been updated and
perfected.

> -- K.
>
> If it smelled like killer mushrooms
> and butter I could say something
> about "Last Mutango, Fungus Of Terror,
> In Paris."

SPEAKING OF FUNGUS: It turns out it wasn't actually a
peanus.
WARNING! PICTURES INCLUDED!!! ICKY!!
http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/pit/news/stories/news-10
0264420011003-181007.html


--
Paradigm Fert

marika

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Oct 5, 2001, 8:25:29 AM10/5/01
to
Andrew J. Zimolzak <zimo...@msu.edu> wrote in message news:<MPG.16270772f...@news.msu.edu>...

>
> For me, this was just another in a long line of movies where "We're
> going to put this guy in prison for the rest of his life. No parole.
> Nobody will know where the prison is. Also, it's impossible to
> escape. No, trust me, this guy really, really, really won't escape."
> Beable might try to tell you that there's a good reason for this, but
> he might be thinking of another movie. He also might try to tell you
> that 'gullible' is a real word, so you should prove him wrong by
> showing him how it's not in the dictionary.
>
> Notwithstanding the plot points of Face Slash Off, by the end of the
> movie, I found myself thinking, "Yet again a guy is flying through the
> air shooting two handguns in slow motion. And there go the flying
> slow-motion bullets, right on schedule."
>
> And at the very end, couldn't he think of anything better to yell than
> "DIIIIIIIIE!!"?

You know, I like John Woo movies because they are consistent.

He uses his trademark, a staple remover, in every one.

--
mk5000
"Indeed: I have yet to find a quote that uses 'smite; or
'kissy-kiss.'"--Kurt Burphardt

Matt McIrvin

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Oct 5, 2001, 11:57:01 PM10/5/01
to
In article <MPG.16270772f...@news.msu.edu>,
Andrew J. Zimolzak <zimo...@msu.edu> wrote:
\

> For me, this was just another in a long line of movies where "We're
> going to put this guy in prison for the rest of his life. No parole.
> Nobody will know where the prison is. Also, it's impossible to
> escape. No, trust me, this guy really, really, really won't escape."

A detention center where miscreants are held in place by magnets!

> Notwithstanding the plot points of Face Slash Off, by the end of the
> movie, I found myself thinking, "Yet again a guy is flying through the
> air shooting two handguns in slow motion. And there go the flying
> slow-motion bullets, right on schedule."

Look, pigeons! And a crucifix!

I've never quite understood what the big deal is with John Woo.

But in the specific case of "FACE/OFF" I might be unfairly biased
against the movie by the fact that when we saw it, the audio was turned
up to a level that was beyond the actual capacity of the wimpy
equipment in the theater, so that the sound throughout the movie was
not only deafeningly loud even in simple dialogue-heavy scenes, but
also shot through with buzzing, brain-eating distortion. Had that not
been the case, I might have been able to deal with the magnet prison
and the magical laser face-sucking machine and John Travolta being in
what would one day be known as his Terl mode and the fact that the
movie had about ten climaxes in a row during which it refused to end.

--
Matt McIrvin

Louis Nick III

unread,
Oct 6, 2001, 1:30:08 AM10/6/01
to
In alt.religion.kibology, zimo...@msu.edu wrote:
> Notwithstanding the plot points of Face Slash Off, by the end of the
> movie, I found myself thinking, "Yet again a guy is flying through the
> air shooting two handguns in slow motion. And there go the flying
> slow-motion bullets, right on schedule."

So, I spent spent about an hour downloading the 200MB Max Payne Demo,
which has a tutorial and 4-5 levels to play with. Max Payne is the John
Woo Movie of PC games; it's Die Hard on a PC; it's Hard Boiled in
Nakatomi Plaza.

I beat the demo, played it again, and then spent $50 on the real thing.
Why? Bullet time. Akimbo Baretta handguns firing with the slow-motion
bullets, right on schedule. And the surprise is, you just can't get
enough! I found myself quickloading just to gunfight the same 4 guys
over and over. Akimbo MAC-10s in slow motion fired from midair in a
slow-motion shoot-dodge, the gunfire muted by time's sluggish passage,
the sound of your heart beating causing your subwoofer to fall off your
desk.

It's a gimmick, true, but it's a gimmick that turns every gunfight into
a Memorable Cinematic Moment. It really sells the game. And what a
game! What a payoff! The fire level, the drug-induced-vertigo levels,
and a finale that I couldn't stop watching.

Dialogue and plot? Bah! Cheesier and more predictable than Face-slash-
off. And you won't be able to get enough. Max Payne is the guiltiest
pleasure ever!

-LAN3
It's the only third-person shooter worth playing. I can say that.

--
"Duh, we're at war with THE ABSTRACT CONCEPT OF EVIL! What's so hard
to understand about that? I put it in a whole sentence and everything!"
-James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com>
=== Louis Nick III alt.religion.louis-nick sun...@seanet.com ===

Joseph Michael Bay

unread,
Oct 6, 2001, 5:47:45 PM10/6/01
to
Matt McIrvin <mmci...@world.std.com> writes:

>In article <MPG.16270772f...@news.msu.edu>,
> Andrew J. Zimolzak <zimo...@msu.edu> wrote:
>\
>> For me, this was just another in a long line of movies where "We're
>> going to put this guy in prison for the rest of his life. No parole.
>> Nobody will know where the prison is. Also, it's impossible to
>> escape. No, trust me, this guy really, really, really won't escape."

>A detention center where miscreants are held in place by magnets!


..or do they hold the magnets in place?

Also, the INTESTINATOR.

>> Notwithstanding the plot points of Face Slash Off, by the end of the
>> movie, I found myself thinking, "Yet again a guy is flying through the
>> air shooting two handguns in slow motion. And there go the flying
>> slow-motion bullets, right on schedule."

>Look, pigeons! And a crucifix!

>I've never quite understood what the big deal is with John Woo.

Or maybe -- John Woo doesn't understand what the big deal is with *you*.

--
Chimes peal joy. Bah. Joseph Michael Bay
Icy colon barge Cancer Biology
Frosty divine Saturn Stanford University
When encryption is outlawed, fO$t ^@3sVe) %4iG Vx@| /jNGe5x6@^.

Glenn Knickerbocker

unread,
Oct 8, 2001, 12:44:19 PM10/8/01
to
"Joseph Michael Bay" <jm...@Stanford.EDU> wrote in message
news:9pnu61$6sg$1...@usenet.Stanford.EDU...
> Also, the INTESTINATOR.

But, but, I hardly knew her!

柑hhh'er


Dag Right-square-bracket-gren

unread,
Oct 8, 2001, 2:05:05 PM10/8/01
to
In alt.religion.kibology Louis Nick III <sun...@seanet.com> wrote:

> I beat the demo, played it again, and then spent $50 on the real thing.
> Why? Bullet time. Akimbo Baretta handguns firing with the slow-motion
> bullets, right on schedule. And the surprise is, you just can't get
> enough! I found myself quickloading just to gunfight the same 4 guys
> over and over. Akimbo MAC-10s in slow motion fired from midair in a
> slow-motion shoot-dodge, the gunfire muted by time's sluggish passage,
> the sound of your heart beating causing your subwoofer to fall off your
> desk.

Eh. The funniest part in Max Payne is the fact that hand grenades actually
bounce off people, and make them stagger back. So you can lob a grande
right in someone's face at point-blank range and their head will jerk back
and they'll go "oof!". Then you both blow up.

--
Dag Agren <> d...@c3.cx <> http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/ <> Legalize oregano
The time is nigh / I dreamed a lake
It's greek to me / Your pants are down

Michael Straight

unread,
Oct 8, 2001, 2:52:43 PM10/8/01
to Louis Nick III
On Fri, 5 Oct 2001, Louis Nick III wrote:

> It's the only third-person shooter worth playing. I can say that.

You can say that you're a giant Pez dispenser too, but that don't make it
so. Heretic2 was lots of fun.

The Giants demo with the chick had this sup0r-speed jump that made me feel
like a comic-book superhero. In a good way. I haven't bought it yet, but
it would probably be worth playing (whether it's worth not playing
something else is another question...)

Pull back Michael Straight's head and see what comes out of his mouth.
FLEOEVDETYHOEUPROEONREWMEILECSOFMOERSGTIRVAENRGEEARDSTVHIESBIITBTLHEEPSRIACYK
Ethical Mirth Gas/"I'm chaste alright."/Magic Hitler Hats/"Hath grace limits?"
"Irate Clam Thighs!"/Chili Hamster Tag/The Gilt Charisma/"I gather this calm."

marika

unread,
Oct 8, 2001, 6:26:50 PM10/8/01
to
Dag Right-square-bracket-gren <d...@c3.cx> wrote in message news:<3bc1ead1$0$1...@news.impulse.net>...

>
> Eh. The funniest part in Max Payne is the fact that hand grenades actually
> bounce off people, and make them stagger back. So you can lob a grande
> right in someone's face at point-blank range and their head will jerk back
> and they'll go "oof!".

IS THAT A coffee or a taco?

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