Important announcement: newsgroup closures

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rdo...@pipeline.com

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Nov 26, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/26/98
to
Funniest spam I ever read.

bea...@my-dejanews.com

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Nov 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/27/98
to

In a recent United Nations resolution, it was decided that
the following newsgroups are to be SHUT DOWN:
1. alt.tv.seinfeld
2. alt.tv.seaquest
3. alt.religion.kibology

Here are the reasons for this decision:
alt.tv.seinfeld:
1. The television program "Seinfeld" has been cancelled.
2. There are very few people posting to this newsgroup any more.
3. Nobody reads this newsgroup any more.
4. It cost Usenet hundreds, if not thousands of dollars every
day to keep this newsgroup active.
5. There are too many newsgroups, especially in the alt hierarchy.
6. The television program did not accurately portray life in New York.

alt.tv.seaquest:
1. The television program "SeaQuest DSV" has been cancelled.
2. There are very few people posting to this newsgroup any more.
3. Nobody reads this newsgroup any more.
4. It cost Usenet hundreds, if not thousands of dollars every
day to keep this newsgroup active.
5. There are too many newsgroups, especially in the alt hierarchy.
6. The television program did not accurately portray the life of
plankton.

alt.religion.kibology:
1. The television program "SeaQuest DSV" has been cancelled.
2. There are very few people posting to this newsgroup any more.
3. Bob Hope is dead.
4. Nobody reads this newsgroup any more.
5. Orbitz is no longer being sold.
6. It cost Usenet hundreds, if not thousands of dollars every
day to keep this newsgroup active.
7. There are too many newsgroups, especially in the alt hierarchy.
8. Some troublemakers from this newsgroup have been making fun of
the United Nations.

The United Nations wishes to apologize for the inconvenience
this may cause to the few remaining people who are still using
these newsgroups. These measures are necessary in order to
bring about the United Nations ideal of one big newsgroup,
where all messages are posted. Readers will select which
message they want to read by the "Subject:" line. This one
big newsgroup idea will eliminate the problems of excessive
crossposting and people missing important messages. To
alleviate any distress which may be caused by the newsgroup
closures, we have arranged for alternate newsgroups for
people to use.

1. alt.tv.seinfeld readers should transfer to rec.sport.pro-wrestling
2. alt.tv.seaquest readers should transfer to alt.fan.star-trek
3. alt.religion.kibology readers should transfer to alt.slack

rmgroup control messages will be issued in one week, on
December 4 1998. Thank you for your time.

Brian Eable
United Nations Taskforce to Clean Up Usenet

--
You've made me very happy. -- Theresa Willis

-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own

Roger Douglas

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Nov 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/27/98
to
So bea...@my-dejanews.com turns round and goes:

>
>
>In a recent United Nations resolution, it was decided that
>the following newsgroups are to be SHUT DOWN:
>1. alt.tv.seinfeld
>2. alt.tv.seaquest
>3. alt.religion.kibology
>

The United Nations???
HAH!!!
Three newsgroups???
PFFFFFTTT!!!!

How long do you think Usenet is going to last when AOLScape takes over
DejaNews and everyone can post to their very own Foreskins?
No, that's the wrong word I think. Foremen? Forenames?
Anyhow, you probably get my drift.

--R.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

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Nov 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/27/98
to
The guy's a troll. Ignore him.

Roger Douglas wrote in message <3662983c...@news.magna.com.au>...

ANIMAL57@AOL

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Nov 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/27/98
to
In alt.religion.kibology, rdo...@pipeline.com <rdo...@pipeline.com>
wrote:
>Funniest spam I ever read.

I didnt get the orignal. Coud somebudy please reapost the original spam?

FROM
anim...@aol.com

ANIMAL57@AOL

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Nov 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/27/98
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Matt Miller

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Nov 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/27/98
to
This is hilarious. The freakin United Nations can't control Iraq, but you
expect us to believe that they would stand a snowball's chance in hell of
controlling something as complex as Usenet? hehehe, that's a good one.

bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:

> In a recent United Nations resolution, it was decided that
> the following newsgroups are to be SHUT DOWN:
> 1. alt.tv.seinfeld
> 2. alt.tv.seaquest
> 3. alt.religion.kibology
>

--
-------------------------------
Ma...@TheMillers.com
http://ueomainframe.simplenet.com
-------------------------------


Andrea Chen

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Nov 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/27/98
to
Matt Miller wrote:
>
> This is hilarious. The freakin United Nations can't control Iraq, but you
> expect us to believe that they would stand a snowball's chance in hell of
> controlling something as complex as Usenet? hehehe, that's a good one.
>


It's only the first step. Just try logging onto your newsgroup after
Dec 1st. Please remember that this limited number of newsgroups is just
a test. Write your congressperson. You can delay the NWO!

Though you can't stop it. You will be assimilated, but savor every
moment of freedom.

Thomas R Scudder

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Nov 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/28/98
to
ANIMAL57@AOL (anim...@aol.com) asieoniezi:
: In alt.religion.kibology, rdo...@pipeline.com <rdo...@pipeline.com>
: wrote:
: >Funniest spam I ever read.

: I didnt get the orignal. Coud somebudy please reapost the original spam?

-----REPOST REPOST REPOST REPOST-----
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 1994 21:09:11
Subject: Re: U.S. Green Card Lottery - New Immigration Opportunity
From: cs...@lcanter.win.net (Laurence A Canter)
Status: RO

Please note, the end of this message includes a biographical
questionnaire.
Please let us know if you do not receive the entire transmission.


Canter & Siegel
3333 E Camelback Road
Ste 250
Phoenix AZ 85018
602 661 3911 (telephone) 602-451-7617 (fax)
e-mail cs...@indirect.com

WE CAN MAKE IT EASY TO APPLY AND INCREASE YOUR CHANCE OF WINNING ONE OF
55,000 GREEN CARDS AVAILABLE IN THE 1994 GREEN CARD LOTTERY.
NO CARRIER

The Avocado Avenger

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Nov 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/28/98
to
"Captain Jean-Luc Picard" <bo...@slkc.uswest.net> writes:

>The guy's a troll. Ignore him.

We-hell, if it isn't the Cap'n. Since when did Picard become a major
recurring character on Seinfeld, or SeaQuest? Did you go through some
sort of temporal anomaly that threw you back in time to roughly 1994, and
while waiting for the spunky, dynamic duo of Riker and LaForge to rescue
you, you decided to take a small job to get some money to pay the rent,
just like in that episode where you pretended to be a theatre troupe
director back in the American 1800s?
Or maybe you're just cranky. Guess we'll never know.


Stacia * The Avocado Avenger * Life is a tale told by an idiot;
http://www.io.com/~stacia/ * Full of sound and fury,
Remove the guacamole to reply! * Signifying nothing.


Dag ]gren FYSI

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Nov 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/28/98
to
bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> 5. Orbitz is no longer being sold.

Ha! This is an obvious troll - Orbitz is still being sold. In Finland.

--
I)/\(, - Dag Agren - dag...@abo.fi - Goaway on IRC
Please don't go to http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/
-> Legalize oregano! <-

Etienne Rouette

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Nov 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/28/98
to
In article <365ed...@news2.uswest.net>, bo...@slkc.uswest.net says...

> The guy's a troll. Ignore him.

The guy's not even the real Jean-Luc Picard. Ignore him.

I know it, because he posts in alt.tv.v and he always posts stuff about V
and everyone knows that Jean-Luc Picard was not in V. He was in the Dune
movie!

He's obsessed with Dean Cain, and he wants him as the Alien Martin in his
new adaptation of V for the big screen. And also he's in love with
SisSparki (who in fact is in love with Dean Cain, so forget it, it will
never work out).

BTW, alt.tv.v is one of the better newsgroups for the kooks/spam/normal
posts ratio on Usenet. About 8 messages a day, 4 from kooks, 2 spams and
2 normal posts.

>
> Roger Douglas wrote in message <3662983c...@news.magna.com.au>...
> >So bea...@my-dejanews.com turns round and goes:
> >
> >>
> >>

> >>In a recent United Nations resolution, it was decided that
> >>the following newsgroups are to be SHUT DOWN:
> >>1. alt.tv.seinfeld
> >>2. alt.tv.seaquest
> >>3. alt.religion.kibology
> >>

Andrea Chen

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Nov 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/28/98
to
Etienne Rouette wrote:
>
> In article <365ed...@news2.uswest.net>, bo...@slkc.uswest.net says...
> > The guy's a troll. Ignore him.
>
> The guy's not even the real Jean-Luc Picard. Ignore him.
>

I think he's NWO psyop. The whole thing there telling the press is
that this is only 3 groups and they make more new groups than that every
day so it doesn't matter. Then this guy comes along and says somebodies
a troll and that we should ignore what they person has to say even
though they got it from television. So everyone who cares is going to
ignore this issue until suddenly their group is shut off and then what
can you do? You try and get it back and they're going to say there's
over 1 milllion groups on Usenet, we don't need anymore. And after that
it's gone. And we've been censored.

As a long time lurker in alt.tv.seaquest I'm not going to put up with
this! I wrote President Clinton to tell him he'd better get us out of
the UN or else I'm putting up pictures of Monica on my webpage.


bea...@my-dejanews.com

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
In article <365F42DD...@TheMillers.com>,

Matt Miller <Ma...@TheMillers.com> wrote:
> This is hilarious. The freakin United Nations can't control Iraq, but you
> expect us to believe that they would stand a snowball's chance in hell of
> controlling something as complex as Usenet? hehehe, that's a good one.
>
> bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
>
> > In a recent United Nations resolution, it was decided that
> > the following newsgroups are to be SHUT DOWN:
> > 1. alt.tv.seinfeld
> > 2. alt.tv.seaquest
> > 3. alt.religion.kibology

Dear Mr Miller,

The United Nations has acknowledged that they can't control Iraq,
but that doesn't mean that they should stop trying. Obviously
there are some challenges involved in controlling Usenet, but
it is the belief of the United Nations Taskforce to Clean Up
Usenet that the lessons learned right here on Usenet will prove
to be very useful when it is time for the next attempt on Iraq.
Once the United Nations Ideal Setup For Usenet of One Big
Newsgroup has been achieved, everybody will be able to see
what a vast improvement it is over the current anarchic and
jumbled system.

Your posting makes it quite clear that you will be attempting
to thwart the Legitimate United Nations Goals For Cleaning Up
Usenet, therefore we have been forced to take sterner measures.
We believe you are mainly posting from alt.tv.seaquest. We
offered you an alternate newsgroup to use, it is apparent that
you are refusing that generous offer. Because of this, we will
be sending a United Nations Peace Keeping Force into alt.tv.seaquest
immediately to make sure of a Peaceful Transfer to the new arrangements.
Resistance is futile. The United Nations has taken over this group.
Please go quietly.

Thank you for your time
Brian Eable
United Nations Task Force to Clean Up Usenet

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
What I'm trying to say is that nobody has the right to shut down newsgroups.

The Avocado Avenger wrote in message <73pgef$g2r$1...@hiram.io.com>...


>"Captain Jean-Luc Picard" <bo...@slkc.uswest.net> writes:
>

>>The guy's a troll. Ignore him.
>

Joseph Michael Bay

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
sta...@gua.io.camole.com (The Avocado Avenger) writes:

>while waiting for the spunky, dynamic duo of Riker and LaForge to rescue

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ewwwwww.

--
Joseph Bay Program in Cancer Biology -- Auctus Auctus Gratia
Leland Stanford Junior University Stanford, California
What Would Andre The Giant Do? Private Idaho
5'CCGATTATGCCTGGCGCTAACGGCAGTTATGCT3' http://www.stanford.edu/~jmbay

Joseph Michael Bay

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
Andrea Chen <fallin...@earthlink.net> writes:

> It's only the first step. Just try logging onto your newsgroup after
>Dec 1st. Please remember that this limited number of newsgroups is just
>a test. Write your congressperson. You can delay the NWO!

It's true! We must stand together against the creeping menace of mushy-
headed One Worldism, as it is written in Austin 3:16!

--
Joseph Bay Program in Cancer Biology -- Auctus Auctus Gratia
Leland Stanford Junior University Stanford, California

What Would Joe Bay Do? Private Idaho
5'CCGATTATGCCTGGCGCTAACGGCAGTTATGCT3' http://www.stanford.edu/~jmbay

Psy-Kosh

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
Don't worry about the UN. The Anla'Shok will protect the newsgroups. :-)

Psy-Kosh

Matt Miller

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
Just thought I'd throw this out there too, your reason for "shutting down"
the Seinfeld ng is because no one ever posts there anymore...yea, only
about 500 messages a day. Get a life, get a job, whatever, just get our of
our newsgroups.

-Matt

bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:

> In a recent United Nations resolution, it was decided that
> the following newsgroups are to be SHUT DOWN:
> 1. alt.tv.seinfeld
> 2. alt.tv.seaquest
> 3. alt.religion.kibology
>

> Here are the reasons for this decision:
> alt.tv.seinfeld:
> 1. The television program "Seinfeld" has been cancelled.
> 2. There are very few people posting to this newsgroup any more.
> 3. Nobody reads this newsgroup any more.
> 4. It cost Usenet hundreds, if not thousands of dollars every
> day to keep this newsgroup active.
> 5. There are too many newsgroups, especially in the alt hierarchy.
> 6. The television program did not accurately portray life in New York.
>
> alt.tv.seaquest:
> 1. The television program "SeaQuest DSV" has been cancelled.
> 2. There are very few people posting to this newsgroup any more.
> 3. Nobody reads this newsgroup any more.
> 4. It cost Usenet hundreds, if not thousands of dollars every
> day to keep this newsgroup active.
> 5. There are too many newsgroups, especially in the alt hierarchy.
> 6. The television program did not accurately portray the life of
> plankton.
>
> alt.religion.kibology:
> 1. The television program "SeaQuest DSV" has been cancelled.
> 2. There are very few people posting to this newsgroup any more.
> 3. Bob Hope is dead.
> 4. Nobody reads this newsgroup any more.

> 5. Orbitz is no longer being sold.

> 6. It cost Usenet hundreds, if not thousands of dollars every
> day to keep this newsgroup active.
> 7. There are too many newsgroups, especially in the alt hierarchy.
> 8. Some troublemakers from this newsgroup have been making fun of
> the United Nations.
>
> The United Nations wishes to apologize for the inconvenience
> this may cause to the few remaining people who are still using
> these newsgroups. These measures are necessary in order to
> bring about the United Nations ideal of one big newsgroup,
> where all messages are posted. Readers will select which
> message they want to read by the "Subject:" line. This one
> big newsgroup idea will eliminate the problems of excessive
> crossposting and people missing important messages. To
> alleviate any distress which may be caused by the newsgroup
> closures, we have arranged for alternate newsgroups for
> people to use.
>
> 1. alt.tv.seinfeld readers should transfer to rec.sport.pro-wrestling
> 2. alt.tv.seaquest readers should transfer to alt.fan.star-trek
> 3. alt.religion.kibology readers should transfer to alt.slack
>
> rmgroup control messages will be issued in one week, on
> December 4 1998. Thank you for your time.
>
> Brian Eable

> United Nations Taskforce to Clean Up Usenet
>

> --
> You've made me very happy. -- Theresa Willis
>
> -----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own

--
-------------------------------------
Ma...@TheMillers.com
http://ueomainframe.simplenet.com

"If at first you don't succeed,
destroy all evidence that you tried."
-------------------------------------


Matt Miller

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
I'm sure that all UN members use DejaNews to post to the Usenet...I know it's
spam, but at least it's entertaining.
-Matt

bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:

> In article <365F42DD...@TheMillers.com>,
> Matt Miller <Ma...@TheMillers.com> wrote:
> > This is hilarious. The freakin United Nations can't control Iraq, but you
> > expect us to believe that they would stand a snowball's chance in hell of
> > controlling something as complex as Usenet? hehehe, that's a good one.
> >

> > bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> >
> > > In a recent United Nations resolution, it was decided that
> > > the following newsgroups are to be SHUT DOWN:
> > > 1. alt.tv.seinfeld
> > > 2. alt.tv.seaquest
> > > 3. alt.religion.kibology
>

> Dear Mr Miller,
>
> The United Nations has acknowledged that they can't control Iraq,
> but that doesn't mean that they should stop trying. Obviously
> there are some challenges involved in controlling Usenet, but
> it is the belief of the United Nations Taskforce to Clean Up
> Usenet that the lessons learned right here on Usenet will prove
> to be very useful when it is time for the next attempt on Iraq.
> Once the United Nations Ideal Setup For Usenet of One Big
> Newsgroup has been achieved, everybody will be able to see
> what a vast improvement it is over the current anarchic and
> jumbled system.
>
> Your posting makes it quite clear that you will be attempting
> to thwart the Legitimate United Nations Goals For Cleaning Up
> Usenet, therefore we have been forced to take sterner measures.
> We believe you are mainly posting from alt.tv.seaquest. We
> offered you an alternate newsgroup to use, it is apparent that
> you are refusing that generous offer. Because of this, we will
> be sending a United Nations Peace Keeping Force into alt.tv.seaquest
> immediately to make sure of a Peaceful Transfer to the new arrangements.
> Resistance is futile. The United Nations has taken over this group.
> Please go quietly.
>
> Thank you for your time
> Brian Eable

> United Nations Task Force to Clean Up Usenet

Leah Verre

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to

Captain Jean-Luc Picard wrote in message <36617...@news2.uswest.net>...

>What I'm trying to say is that nobody has the right to shut down
newsgroups. Except Leah Verre.

HTH!

brian eable

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
Matt Miller <Ma...@TheMillers.com> wrote:

>Just thought I'd throw this out there too, your reason for "shutting down"
the Seinfeld ng is because no one ever posts there
> anymore...yea, only about 500 messages a day. Get a life, get a job,
whatever, just get our of our newsgroups.
>
> -Matt

and he wrote this too:
>
>I'm sure that all UN members use DejaNews to post to the Usenet...I know
it's spam, but at least it's entertaining.
>

So, Mr Miller, you have decided to go kicking and screaming all the way
haven't you? You're only making it worse, you know! Now we will be forced
to send a Peace Keeping Force into alt.tv.seinfeld as well. And you people
over there in alt.religion.kibology! Watch yourselves! You're mighty close
to rebellion with some of that stuff you've been posting! That's right!
We're watching you too! We didn't take it from Milosevic, and we won't
take it from you!

Look, everybody just take a deep breath, calm down and move in an
orderly fashion to your assigned alternate newsgroups. Like Ms Chen
said, there are over a million newsgroups. I don't understand why
you are clinging with such foolish determination to these three
newsgroups! They must be shutdown, and they *will* be shut down!
Usenet can not afford to support newsgroups that are:
1. unused
2. irrelevant
If you check back to the original post, you can see quite clearly that
these newsgroups fall into those categories, and thus MUST BE SHUT
DOWN! And yes. Captain Picard (by the way, I loved your work in the
ST:TNG series), we DO have the AUTHORITY to close down
NEWSGROUPS. What, do you think that once newsgroups are
created, they last forever? Don't be so childish! It costs MONEY
to keep newsgroups running, and I don't see you paying out
any MONEY to pay for it, now do I?

Not to mention the INCREDIBLE BENEFITS that will accrue to all
of you, indeed ALL OF HUMANITY, when the United Nations
Ideal Of One Big Newsgroup takes effect. Stop trying to fight
progress! What are you, Luddites or something?

So to reiterate, please move along in an ORDERLY FASHION
to your ASSIGNED ALTERNATE newsgroups, and STOP
MAKING TROUBLE or it WILL NOT GO EASY FOR YOU when
the PEACE KEEPING FORCES ARRIVE!

And by the way Mr Miller, the reasons why we at the United Nations
use dejanews are quite simple:
1. to avoid giving out our real email addresses and getting a flood
of disgusting porno spam; and
2. BECAUSE THE USA WON'T PAY ITS DUES TO THE UNITED
NATIONS AND NOW IT IS OVER A BILLION DOLLARS IN ARREARS
AND IF IT WOULD PAY WE COULD ALL AFFORD FANCY-SCHMANCY
DOMAIN NAMES LIKE "THEMILLERS.COM" BUT THE USA HASN'T
PAID AND SO WE CAN'T, ALL RIGHT????

Thank you for your time
Brian Eable
United Nations Task Force to Clean Up Usenet

-**** Posted from Supernews, Discussions Start Here(tm) ****-
http://www.supernews.com/ - Host to the the World's Discussions & Usenet

Matt Miller

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Nov 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/29/98
to
So, to recap, you're saying that the UN can control the Usenet, that they can't
afford to register domain names, and that they use DejaNews to post to Usenet.
(Though by examining your header information, even though your email address
still says DejaNews, your latest post originated from a SuperNews server. (What
are you trying to pull (as though we don't already know)?

Any way, quoting from a well know Usenet FAQ, here's some info I dug up:

WHAT USENET IS NOT
------------------

1. Usenet is not an organization.

No person or group has authority over Usenet as a whole. No one
controls who gets a news feed, which articles are propagated
where, who can post articles, or anything else. There is no
"Usenet Incorporated," nor is there a "Usenet User's Group."
You're on your own.

Granted, there are various activities organized by means of Usenet
newsgroups. The newsgroup creation process is one such
activity. But it would be a mistake to equate Usenet with the
organized activities it makes possible. If they were to stop
tomorrow, Usenet would go on without them.

2. Usenet is not a democracy.

Since there is no person or group in charge of Usenet as a whole
-- i.e. there is no Usenet "government" -- it follows that Usenet
cannot be a democracy, autocracy, or any other kind of "-acy."


Gee, notice how it specifically says that no one has authority over the USENET.
What a useful little tidbit of trivia.

Also, you asked if we thought that once groups are created that they stay
forever and it costs no money to maintain them. Well, actually, that's exactly
what happens. The groups are created and from there they spread out worldwide
over millions of news servers. Billions of news message exchanges occur daily.
If they were as expensive as you portray them to be, services like DejaNews,
and SuperNews, etc. would not exist giving their services away for free.


-Matt

BTW, every idiot (excluding yourself, of course) knows that the UN has a
domain. Try un.org.
I'll be anxiously anticipating your next post.

End Usenet Lesson For Today, Check Back Tomorrow.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

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Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
Brian,

What you are doing right now is called spamming. And Dejanews has RULES
against using their service for such an activity. And it is AGAINST rules
of Usenet etiquette to spam and may also be against the RULES of your ISP. I
think I'll e-mail Dejanews and report to them that you're using their
service to spam Usenet. After that, they will boot you off. And for your
information, nobody runs Usenet. Like the rest of the Internet, Usenet is a
free zone. We can say what we want on here, as long as we don't threaten
somebody.

brian eable wrote in message ...

bea...@my-dejanews.com

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Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
In article <36624...@news2.uswest.net>,

"Captain Jean-Luc Picard" <bo...@slkc.uswest.net> wrote:
> Brian,
>
> What you are doing right now is called spamming. And Dejanews has RULES
> against using their service for such an activity. And it is AGAINST rules
> of Usenet etiquette to spam and may also be against the RULES of your ISP. I
> think I'll e-mail Dejanews and report to them that you're using their
> service to spam Usenet. After that, they will boot you off. And for your
> information, nobody runs Usenet. Like the rest of the Internet, Usenet is a
> free zone. We can say what we want on here, as long as we don't threaten
> somebody.
>

Dear Captain Picard,

Please define "spamming" so that I can understand what it is that
you are accusing me of. You must be using some new definition of
the term that I am unfamiliar with. If you define spamming as
sending an article to three newsgroups at once, then you will
have to also complain about your own activities, as you sent your
article, to which I am replying, to three newsgroups. Or is there
some other definition that you use? Do please share it. If as you
say, Usenet is a free zone, and we can say what we want on here,
as long as we don't threaten somebody, then I am doing the right
thing. I am saying what I want on here, without threatening
anybody.

HOWEVER!!!! In article <36624...@news2.uswest.net>, you wrote:
> I
> think I'll e-mail Dejanews and report to them that you're using their
> service to spam Usenet. After that, they will boot you off.

Is that not a threat? I THINK IT IS!!!!! OH YES CAPTAIN PICARD!!!11!
HOIST BY YOUR OWN PETARD!!! YOU HAVE THREATENED ME ON THE USENET
FREE ZONE AND NOW YOU MUST COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR OWN NEFARIOUS
ACTIVITIES TO YOUR OWN ISP!!!!! OH YES YOU MUST IF YOU ARE A MAN
OF HONOUR LIKE THE *REAL* CAPTAIN JEAN-LUC PICARD, NOT THAT FAKE
ONE ON TV, THE REAL ONE I MEAN!!!!111!!!

Anyway, these pointless arguments, while an entertaining diversion,
do not change the fact that THE UNITED NATIONS WILL BE CLOSING DOWN
THE FOLLOWING NEWSGROUPS VERY SOON NOW!!!1


1. alt.tv.seinfeld
2. alt.tv.seaquest
3. alt.religion.kibology

PLEASE COOPERATE BY MOVING IN AN ORDERLY FASHION TO YOUR ASSIGNED
ALTERNATE NEWSGROUPS.
THAT IS ALL
BRIAN EABLE
UNITED NATIONS TASK FORCE TO CLEAN UP USENET (UNTFTCUU)
TRANSMISSION ENDS
(EXCEPT FOR THE SIG, OF COURSE)

bea...@my-dejanews.com

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
In article <36621DF0...@TheMillers.com>,

Matt Miller <Ma...@TheMillers.com> wrote:
> So, to recap, you're saying that the UN can control the Usenet, that they
can't
> afford to register domain names, and that they use DejaNews to post to Usenet.
> (Though by examining your header information, even though your email address
> still says DejaNews, your latest post originated from a SuperNews server.

So we use Supernews sometimes when Dejanews is going too slow. Is
that a crime?

(What
> are you trying to pull (as though we don't already know)?

Please enlighten us all, Mr Miller. Tell us what you believe
the United Nations is trying to pull. As you make your way
in an orderly fashion out of this newsgroup.

>
> Any way, quoting from a well know Usenet FAQ, here's some info I dug up:

Well thankyou Mr Clueless Newbie. So you found an out-of-date FAQ.
Now I know what your problem is. I'll update this copy for you.

>
> WHAT USENET IS NOT
> ------------------
>
> 1. Usenet is not an organization.
>
> No person or group has authority over Usenet as a whole. No one
> controls who gets a news feed, which articles are propagated
> where, who can post articles, or anything else. There is no
> "Usenet Incorporated," nor is there a "Usenet User's Group."
> You're on your own.

NB: In September 1998, Usenet was formally taken over by the
United Nations in order to put a stop to the multitude of
social problems being caused by Usenet. As Usenet spans
the globe, the United Nations is the only organisation with
the authority to control Usenet.

>
> Granted, there are various activities organized by means of Usenet
> newsgroups. The newsgroup creation process is one such
> activity. But it would be a mistake to equate Usenet with the
> organized activities it makes possible. If they were to stop
> tomorrow, Usenet would go on without them.
>
> 2. Usenet is not a democracy.
>
> Since there is no person or group in charge of Usenet as a whole
> -- i.e. there is no Usenet "government" -- it follows that Usenet
> cannot be a democracy, autocracy, or any other kind of "-acy."

The United Nations is also not a democracy. Did you vote for
the United Nations? No? I didn't think so. So what do we have
here:
1. The United Nations is not a democracy.


2. Usenet is not a democracy.

therefore,
3. The United Nations controls Usenet.
There!! That wasn't so hard was it?

>
> Gee, notice how it specifically says that no one has authority over the
USENET.
> What a useful little tidbit of trivia.

It was indeed a useful bit of trivia, BEFORE SEPTEMBER 1998
WHEN IT WAS CORRECT. PLEASE CONTACT THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE
SITE WHERE YOU FOUND THAT FAQ AND ASK FOR THE UPDATED VERSION!

>
> Also, you asked if we thought that once groups are created that they stay
> forever and it costs no money to maintain them. Well, actually, that's exactly
> what happens. The groups are created and from there they spread out worldwide
> over millions of news servers. Billions of news message exchanges occur daily.
> If they were as expensive as you portray them to be, services like DejaNews,
> and SuperNews, etc. would not exist giving their services away for free.

Well, Mr Miller, I think you have shown here just what a megabozo
you really are. I don't like to take this tone in newsgroups that
are about to be SHUT DOWN, but you really have provoked this. Now
let's do some maths shall we?

let x = the number of newsgroups (20000)
let y = the number of postings you claim occur each day (say 1000000000)
now the number of postings to each group, if evenly distributed,
would be y/x = 50000 messages a day. Now in a previous posting,
you claimed that alt.tv.seinfeld receives 500 postings per day. This
is less than 1% of the quota of postings required to maintain a
newsgroup, and therefore alt.tv.seinfeld WILL BE SHUT DOWN!!!
I hope that makes it clearer for you.

>
> -Matt
>
> BTW, every idiot (excluding yourself, of course) knows that the UN has a
> domain. Try un.org.

Now Matt, that is not a very polite thing to post. Let's analyse your
sentences:


> BTW, every idiot (excluding yourself, of course) knows that the UN has a
> domain.

So you are saying that:
1. Everybody who knows that the UN has a domain is an idiot.
2. That I do not know that the UN has a domain.
And then you say:
> Try un.org.
Showing that you know that the UN has a domain.
therefore, Matt is an idiot.
And I am not. Please try not to insult yourself in the future.


> I'll be anxiously anticipating your next post.
>

Yes I believe you will.

> End Usenet Lesson For Today, Check Back Tomorrow.

Today I learned:
1. Matt can find out-of-date FAQs and then post them AS IF
THEY WERE CURRENT INFORMATION
2. There are BILLIONS OF NEWS POSTINGS EVERY DAY
3. Matt IS AN IDIOT
4. I am NOT AN IDIOT

Ok Matt, I think you've had enough. Now please move along
to your designated alternate newsgroup. These newsgroups
are being officially shut down by the United Nations.
Resistance is futile. Don't make us call in air strikes on you!

Thank you for your time
Brian Eable

United Nations Task Force To Clean Up Usenet (UNTFTCUU)

Dag ]gren FYSI

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
Frank Celsius (rev...@radix.net) wrote:
> Previously, Dag ]gren FYSI <dag...@news.abo.fi> wrote:
> :bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> :Ha! This is an obvious troll - Orbitz is still being sold. In Finland.
> Oh, like you would know!
> Puh-lease!

Ha! I bought Orbitz here as recently as a couple of weeks ago! And I have
the scars to prove it!

rdo...@pipeline.com

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
Responding to this assinine post makes you assinine as well.

Christopher Chase

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
Once upon a time, in alt.religion.kibology, bea...@my-dejanews.com blathered:

[snip]

I hereby nominate Brian Eable's post as Troll of the Month.

And I ain't goin' to no stinkin' alt.slack. AIN'T DOIN IT!

--
Chris Chase
Grand Wizard - KPS of Texas
Kamikaze Peep Squad


Eddie Saxe

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
In article <73tsio$t40$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, <bea...@my-dejanews.com> wrote:
>Dear Captain Picard,
>
>Please define "spamming" so that I can understand what it is that
>you are accusing me of. You must be using some new definition of
>the term that I am unfamiliar with. If you define spamming as
>sending an article to three newsgroups at once, then you will
>have to also complain about your own activities, as you sent your
>article, to which I am replying, to three newsgroups. Or is there
>some other definition that you use? Do please share it. If as you
>say, Usenet is a free zone, and we can say what we want on here,
>as long as we don't threaten somebody, then I am doing the right
>thing. I am saying what I want on here, without threatening
>anybody.

Dear Msr. Eable,

I am not Captain Picard, but I play him on TV, so I will attempt to answer
your question. While the term "spamming" originally meant sending out the
same message to a plethora of newsgroups as individual posts, i.e., sans
crossposting, its definition has shifted over time. After a while, it came
to be known as an alternative term for unsolicited commercial email (or
Usenet posting, por supuesto). Nowadays, of course, it has come to mean any
message that someone else doesn't like.

Curiously, this is also the current definition for "trolling". Yet another
example of convergent evolution.

Respectfully,

Name and Address Withheld at the Author's Request
--
This signature intentionally left blank.

Carlos Froggy May

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to

Captain Jean-Luc Picard (bo...@slkc.uswest.net) wrote:
: Brian,

: What you are doing right now is called spamming. And Dejanews has RULES
: against using their service for such an activity. And it is AGAINST rules
: of Usenet etiquette to spam and may also be against the RULES of your ISP.

Captian:

Turn in your com badge and phasor.
Under United Nations regulation # 1989-YHBT.YHL.FOAD, I must
hereby relieve you from duty on grounds of excessive cluelessness
in a U.N. condemned newsfroup.

-- F. Frogalogus,
Vice-Chef of Proctocol,
The United Nations
Planet Earth


* Fro...@neosoft.com ** "The Information Super-Frog" [dibs] *
http://www.angelfire.com/la/carlosmay/
"What's the relative proportion to free interstellar stupidity as opposed
to that entrained in the human body?" -- dyn...@infi.net


Chris Franks

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
bea...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> As Usenet spans
> the globe, the United Nations is the only organisation with
> the authority to control Usenet.

Yes Mr. Miller, (if that is your REAL name), to spell it out even more
clearly, you cannot spell Usenet without UN. It should be obvious to
even the most casual observour.

Psy-Kosh

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to

Frank Celsius wrote in message

<snip>

>:NB: In September 1998, Usenet was formally taken over by the


>:United Nations in order to put a stop to the multitude of
>:social problems being caused by Usenet. As Usenet spans
>:the globe, the United Nations is the only organisation with
>:the authority to control Usenet.
>

>This is true. I have the docs up on my website in HTML and PDF if you
>want to view them:
>
> http://www.radix.net/~revjack/usenet/
>
>Be patient, it's a busy site.

<more snip>


funny, it's not busy at http://www.radix.net hmmmmm..... so, how could PART
of a server be unavailible to to tomany users, but not another? makes you
think.

Psy-Kosh


rdo...@pipeline.com

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
No offense, but if you were thinking you wouldn't respond to this garbage.


In article <73v63a$2...@nnrp3.farm.idt.net>, "Psy-Kosh" <joe...@idt.net> wrote:

> Frank Celsius wrote in message
>
> <snip>
>

> >:NB: In September 1998, Usenet was formally taken over by the


> >:United Nations in order to put a stop to the multitude of
> >:social problems being caused by Usenet. As Usenet spans
> >:the globe, the United Nations is the only organisation with
> >:the authority to control Usenet.
> >

Riboflavin

unread,
Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
to
Carlos "Froggy" May wrote in message <73um3p$ib6$1...@uuneo.neosoft.com>...

>Turn in your com badge and phasor.
>Under United Nations regulation # 1989-YHBT.YHL.FOAD, I must

YHBT YHL FOAD?!?!?!? Whatever happened to HTH, HAND? Why are people so damn
rude nowdays?
--
Kevin Allegood ribotr...@mindspring.pants.com
Remove the pants from my email address to reply
"Having a bad day? It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to pull
the trigger of a decent sniper rifle." - Dr. John D. Taylor

Leah Verre

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Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98