Farewell to my oldest surviving friend.
James Kibo Parry
say a few words about another: The year 2000. Every few days, whenever
all the important matters in my life stop for a few seconds (usually
while I'm waiting for a bus), I'll realize "Holy crap! I'm now living
in the year TWO THOUSAND!" and then I'll forget it again for a few days
before I remember it again. It's THAT important.
But far more important to me is the close personal relationship with
my pillow.
I have had the same pillow (in different pillowcases) for about 25 years.
I recall Woolworth's didn't have the kind I wanted (upon graduation from
the little kid-sized pillow to a grownup-sized pillow) so we had to go
to that new "K-Mart" store. This pillow from the early 1970s was made back
in the days when it was easy (as opposed to almost impossible) to get a
pillow made from _real_ foam rubber. I don't mean that sponge-like plastic
you see everywhere. I mean foam _rubber_ as in actual latex-tree sap.
This pillow was soft and squishy as a marshmallow and I am so habituated
to it that I have extreme difficulty sleeping on an ordinary thick, firm
pillow. I have usually taken this pillow with me when travelling because
I am addicted to its marshmallowyness. (Also, I sleep face down, so a
relatively squooshy pillow is important in preserving my good looks.)
This 25-year-old pillow was (I think) once light blue with little white
flowers printed on the cloth cover. (Now it's tan with tan flowers.)
It has a zinc-galvanized zipper at one end that still works, although it's
come detached from the pillow itself. The foam inside has turned the
color of overcooked french fries, with a dark brown layer on the outside.
The dark brown is stuck to the cloth cover, and the interior is crumbling,
which has made this pillow a little lumpy. Also it tends to drip bits
of foam rubber all over the floor whenever I take off the pillowcase to
wash it. It used to have my name written on it in green magic marker
(for camp) but I can't find where the name once was.
Well, seeing as my old friend the squishy pillow has survived into the
year 2000, I am now retiring it and replacing it with the closest substitute
I could get -- an 80% polyester fiber 20% polyurethane foam pillow. Like
all modern pillows (except the throwaway ones on airlines) it's about
three times as thick as the one I loved, but hopefully it'll flatten out
after a decade or so.
If it turns out to be uncomfortable springy I guess I'll just have to
order one of those super-expensive real foam latex pillows handmade by
monks in Sri Lanka (I am not making this up. Actual foam rubber is
hard to get because a few spoilsports are allergic to everything but
plastic.) I am giving my old pillow a decent funeral by tossing it
down the incinerator chute, where it will probably explode, or at
least toast like a marshmallow.
The new pillow had a four-page tag attached (rather, four tags in the
same spot) warning me about all the potentially pillow-related hazards
that I'm not able to sue them for whether I remove the tags or not,
and that it has a pillow covering satisfying the Federal Requirement
For Pillow Coverings.
I hate planned obsolescence. Why can't they make a pillow that will
last more than 25 years? I want my old pillow back already. Or at
least a non-rancid one with the same shape and texture.
And why did Woolworth's have to go out of business? Their pet department
always had prettier guppies than K-Mart when I was a kid.
-- K.
And why can't I sleep on my back?
Matt McIrvin
(James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
[about his beloved pillow]
>It used to have my name written on it in green magic marker
>(for camp)
Of course, his name was "Batman."
--
Matt McIrvin http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/
Darla
First, I almost didn't read this because I thought it might be about that
Motis guy again.
But then...
>...This pillow from the early 1970s was made back
> in the days when it was easy (as opposed to almost impossible) to get a
> pillow made from _real_ foam rubber. ...
My father slept on exactly the same sort of pillow for years. In fact, it
even aged in exactly the same way--- crunchy brown on the outside, crumbly
beige on the inside. He couldn't sleep on anything else. I don't know what
he sleeps on now. His foam-rubber pillow was much older than 1970, and it
died a very long time ago.
I think I just put it into the trash.
It stank, pretty much, from years of Wildroot Hair Oil and who knows what
else.
Sorry about your pillow, Kibo.
Darla
--- I think my Dad cried about his.
holefamily1
>Before I reflect on an important turning point, I
>would first like to say a few words about another:
>The year 2000. Every few days, whenever all the
>important matters in my life stop for a few seconds
>(usually while I'm waiting for a bus),
The BUS!!??! Why don't you drive a car? Only losers
take the bus. I have my own car, and I use
Webtvplus!
>Well, seeing as my old friend the squishy pillow
>has survived into the year 2000, I am now retiring
>it and replacing it with the closest substitute I
>could get -- an 80% polyester fiber 20%
polyurethane
>foam pillow. Like all modern pillows (except the
>throwaway ones on airlines) it's about three times
>as thick as the one I loved, but hopefully it'll
>flatten out after a decade or so.
Have you ever tried a pillow filled with duck feathers, Kibo? That's
what I sleep on, and it seems to share the same qualities of a
marshmallow that you found so comfy in your old pillow.
>Why can't I sleep on my back?
Because your hump gets in the way.
Mr. Hole
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Darla
> >
> >Why can't I sleep on my back?
And Mr. Hole snarked:
>
> Because your hump gets in the way.
and that's just not right.
Peter Willard
holefamily1 wrote in message
<0221c012...@usw-ex0102-016.remarq.com>...
>In article <kibo-09010...@192.168.1.200>,
>ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>The BUS!!??! Why don't you drive a car? Only losers
>take the bus. I have my own car, and I use
>Webtvplus!
>
The prosecution rests.
Clement Cherlin
>
>If it turns out to be uncomfortable springy I guess I'll just have to
>order one of those super-expensive real foam latex pillows handmade by
>monks in Sri Lanka (I am not making this up. Actual foam rubber is
>hard to get because a few spoilsports are allergic to everything but
>plastic.) I am giving my old pillow a decent funeral by tossing it
>down the incinerator chute, where it will probably explode, or at
>least toast like a marshmallow.
Kibo has made me laugh until I pass out. I'm lying on the floor, right
now. My subconscious (hi there!) is typing this letter with my toes,
just to let you know that you don't need to call an ambulance.
Yours In Sensible,
Clement Cherlin (not deceased)