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:=) The Ultimate Blessed List

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Ninure Saunders

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Jul 21, 2002, 10:28:40 AM7/21/02
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:=) The Ultimate Blessed List


** Blessed are those who truly listen and see, for then their ears are
not full of wax nor their eyes filled with dust.

** Blessed are the pastors who have 3rd and 4th closings, for they shall
always have "just 5 more minutes".

** Blessed are the Internet junkies, for their time shalt be a net loss.

** Blessed are those who build bridges, for they shalt get over it.

** Blessed are those who recycle motor oil, for they shall be refined.

** Blessed is the TV weatherman, for he shalt talk up a storm.

** Blessed are the undertakers, for they shalt be the last to let you down.

** Blessed are they who knit their own hosiery, for they shalt not get a
run for their money.

** Blessed are the auctioneers, for they shall look forbidding.

** Blessed are the breadmakers, for they shalt rise to the occasion.

** Blessed are the nuns, for they shall have no bad habits.

** Blessed are those who stop horseback riding, for they shalt be full of woe.

** Blessed are the thrifty deer hunters, for they shalt get more bang for
their buck.

** Blessed are the ministers who make mistakes, for it shall only be a
clerical error.

** Blessed are the unionized church workers, for they shalt bargain in
good faith.

** Blessed are the watchmakers, for they shalt work overtime.

** Blessed are the religious nuclear engineers, for they shalt have
critical mass.

** Blessed are students in Christian schools, for they shalt have good
Principals.

** Blessed are the poor losers, for they shalt continue to diet.

** Blessed are those who are multi-lingual, for they shalt be
misunderstood in many languages.

** Blessed are those who are in medical school, for they shall become
ill-literate.

** Blessed are the unemployed jesters, for they shalt be nobody's fool.

** Blessed are the drama students, for they shalt be a class act.

** Blessed are the bridesmaids, for they shalt be wedding belles.

** Blessed are the landscapers, for they shalt be bushed.

** Blessed are the gymnasts, for they shalt always do good turns.

** Blessed are they who do the ironing, for they shalt not be depressed.

** Blessed are the orchard growers, for their work shall not be fruitless.

** Blessed are they who avoid their in-laws, for they shalt not be
relatively annoyed.

** Blessed are the candy-makers, for they shalt make a mint.

** Blessed are they who process lettuce, for they shalt see the tip of
the iceberg.

** Blessed are they who own horses, for they shalt have stability.

** Blessed are they who play tennis, for love means nothing to them.

** Blessed are they that wrap leftovers, for they shalt be foiled again.

** Blessed are the fishermen, for they shalt have net income.

** Blessed are the musicians, for they shalt be noteworthy.

** Blessed are those who are tailors, for they shalt be suited for it.

** Blessed are those who drink orange juice, for they shalt be able to
concentrate.

** Blessed is he who attends church at more than one denomination, for he
shalt be bi-sectual.

** Blessed is he who stops smoking, for he shalt be a quitter.

** Blessed is he who has a word processor, for his words shalt be minced.

** Blessed are those who watch the stars, for their work shalt be astronomical.

** Blessed are those who make perfect bread, for they shalt be a good
roll model.

** Blessed are they who make it through April, for they shalt be in dismay.

** Blessed is he who plows in a straight furrow, for he shall be in a rut.

** Blessed are they who give hugs; for they are truly appreciated (more
than they'll ever know).

** Blessed are they who have cellular phones, for they shalt receive the
call wherever they are.

** Blessed are those who turn off their cellular phones, for they shall
have peace.

** Blessed are those who refrain from alcohol, for they shall remain sober.

** Blessed are those who laugh often, for they shalt have strong funnybones.

** Blessed are those who speak as lawyers, for they shalt be brief.

** Blessed are those who meet their mate on the internet, for it shall be
love at first site.

** Blessed are the piemakers, for they shall generate fellowship.
They are also the "Upper Crust." They Have a Lot of Crust!

** Blessed are those who attend church regularly, for they shall be pewed.

** Blessed art those who pray in King James English, for thou shalt
surely speaketh in clarity.

** Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall always have a job.

** Blessed are those who resist temptation at the smorgasbord, for they
shall be buffeted.

** Blessed are those who listen intently during sermons, for their
understanding is great.

** Blessed are those who can give without remembering, for they shall not
be forgotten.

** Blessed are those who donate organs, for they are giving the gift of life.

** Blessed are those who receive donated organs for they have restored health.

** Blessed are those who shop, for they shalt be spent.

** Blessed are those who drill, for they shalt not be bored.

** Blessed are bald men, for they shalt not have toupee for hair cuts.

** Blessed are those who are magnets, for they shall find each other
attractive.

** Blessed are those who have allergies for they shalt be scratched.

** Blessed are the dermatologists, for they shall not be rash.

** Blessed are the neurologists, for they shalt have a lot of nerve.

** Blessed are the obstetricians, for their labors shall not be in vain.

** Blessed are the ophthalmologists, for they shalt not be shortsighted.

** Blessed are the pediatricians, for they shall have many children.

** Blessed are the psychiatrists, for they shall be couched.

** Blessed are the radiologists, for they shall have it all on film.

** Blessed are the plastic surgeons, for they shalt put a whole new face
on things.

** Blessed are the podiatrists, for they shalt have a leg to stand on.

** Blessed are the cardiologists, for they shalt have a lot of heart.

** Blessed are the electricians, for they shall remove your shorts.

** Blessed are the optometrists, for they shall see you coming.

** Blessed are the taxidermists, for they shall know their stuff.

** Blessed are those who work in muffler shops, for they shall hear you coming.

** Blessed are those who work in bowling alleys for they shalt hear a pin drop.

** Blessed are those who make pizzas for they shall have lots of dough.

** Blessed are the hard of hearing for they shall miss all the small talk.

** Blessed are those who cook, for they shalt be at home on the range.

** Blessed are those who fail, for they shall be a good example for
others not to follow.

** Blessed are those who are a little cracked---for the Redeeming Light
pours through them.

** Blessed are those who swallow bitter words so they won't have to eat
them later.

** Blessed are the prophets, for the blind shall see through their eyes.

** Blessed are those who are open to commitment for they shall be fulfilled.

** Blessed are those who are soft hearted, for they shall be comfortable!

** Blessed are they that go in circles for they shall be called wheels.

** Blessed are those who are short, for they shall stand on ladders!

** Blessed are the brief, for they shalt have lower phone bills.

** Blessed are those who sing in the choir, for they shall be noted.

** Blessed are those who do things anonymously, for they shall be found out.

** Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

** Blessed are those who build ladders for they shall give others a step up..

** Blessed are the leaders who have not sought the high place, but who
have been drafted into service because of their ability and
willingness to serve.

** Blessed are people who know where they are going, for they shall not
make U-turns.

** Blessed are the dictators, for they shall keep stenographers employed.

** Blessed are those who spend time listening to an elder's tales of long
ago, for they shall inherit pearls of wisdom.

** Blessed are those who lead by example, for they shall be mocked.

** Blessed are the leaders who travel on interstate highways, for they
shall follow road signs.

** Blessed are those who have their heads in the clouds, for they shall
be able to predict the weather.

** Blessed are those who ride bicycles for that shall have balance.

** Blessed is the chicken that crossed the road, for she shall be poultry
in motion.

** Blessed are those who sing, for they shall find the key.

~~~~~~Finally...... "The End" ~~~~~~

Ninure Saunders aka Rainbow Christian

The Lord is my Shepherd and He knows I'm Gay
http://www.geocities.com/ninure

The world's second most subversive document
http://www.geocities.com/ninure/declaration.html
-
Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches
http://www.ufmcc.com

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