Why Forgive?

[Bruderhof]

Check out this free e-book at Bruderhof.com:
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Why Forgive? -
by Johann Christoph Arnold

No matter the weight of our bitterness or despair, forgiving is the surest way to get out from under it. But that's easier said than done. Why Forgive? brings together survivors of crime, betrayal, bigotry, and abuse - and ordinary men and women plagued by everyday strife. Together, their stories will challenge and encourage others wherever they are on the road to healing.

Download this free e-book at:
http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm
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Learn more about the Bruderhof Communities:
http://www.bruderhof.com/

[Lillian]

Excellent book. Needed it to forgive infidelity. Thank you.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[T. Kandefer]

Excellent. Clearly written. The many true life examples greatly helped me understand the need to both forgive and to ask forgiveness in all our relationships.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Kareen Rogers Anguilla]

I am grateful for having read the articles so far on forgiveness. I was allowing myself to hold on to things that was only making my life miserable. Thanks for such simple, yet eloquent words to help me on my Christian walk.

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[Irina Myrshevka]

I like this book!!!!

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[Monique]

I know that I will not be able to move forward with my life unless I forgive my husband for all that he has done to me. And I have tried to say to myself today I will forgive him move . I pray to god for his help, but I can not find it in my heart to forgive my husband for all the abuse, mental and physical, the anger, the adultry, the betrayal. I did not deserve what was handed to me altough I find my self very blessed that I made it out of that relationship. But I will never be truly free until I can get divorced, but who can afford that now a days. Can I forgive? Not yet, Not until I am totally free.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Anonymous Reader]

I just hope people soon relize how important it is for all the world to learn to FORGIVE. Pleasew orld listen to thease articals and tell as many people as you can to FORGIVE. Its good for your own soul to feel the relief of hatred.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Amelika Punnett]

I thought it was a a very well interesting book. I would love to read a new one of your books when it come out. I remember when you and steven came to my school. it was a great assembly. It was really sad when I heard the story about the boys who shot you several times steven. In a way I do know why you forgived them. But, I really dont think you should have forgived them for what they have done to you life that have turned upside down.May god bless both of you.

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[MYREE]

I was actually searching for "how" to forgive. I realize that to forgive is demanded by God, to be happy in his love we must forgive. I mean the small things too. I am fortunate not to be in a position to forgive a really bad crime. But my petty "I was not treated with respect." has me worried that I have a difficult time forgiving and cannot even be sure I have ever forgiven anyone. How does one truly, in the eyes of god forgive????

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Ellen]

Thank you so much for helping me understand my own feelings on hating a parent and how I can overcome it. I have read several articles and this site has seem to help me the most. I grew up in a very abusive childhood and have dealt with almost everything I have needed to except for forgivness. I really would want to forfive but not forget, and this is my struggle on how to do this.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Marnie]

Thank you so very much for making this body of work available to all of us out here who are hurting - needing something to learn from. I am a counselor, and I printed everything of yours I could, and I will be sharing this beautiful knowledge with my clients. All I can say is thank you...

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Rajkumar Lyer]

The best principle in Life is to "FORGIVE AND FORGET".

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Joe Hine]

Rajkumar wrote:

> The best principle in Life is to "FORGIVE AND FORGET".

I disagree. You should read Forgiving is Not Forgetting -
http://www.forgivenessguide.org/articles/jca/ForgiveNotForget.htm

"Forgiving is not condoning. In some cases, "forgiving and forgetting" is
not only impossible, but immoral. How can anyone forget a child? Pain,
indignation and anger are perfectly understandable, and perhaps even
necessary, but ultimately these must yield to a longing for
reconciliation."

[Brenda Murray]

Forgiveness for me is the beginning of healing. To know that and to practice it is another thing. I had to practice what I believed when a young lady in my church accused my husband of stealing money from the church, being on drugs, and having a girl friend on the side. All of the leaders opt to believe her rather than my husband and left the church. I had never experience church hurt at that magnitude. The feelings of betrayal, rejection, and abandonment was overwhelming for me. But as I forgave her and others, healing came gradually for me.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Joe Hine]

For more stories on forgiveness see the Bruderhof Forgiveness Guide at
www.forgivenessguide.org

[Jeff Jerome]

I dont fancy myself a writer but I went to a mens summit which I had a great time and was spiritually moved but not at the level I had hoped for, that is until I started to drive home at which time I had a very moving experience and this poem came from it.

Forgiveness Forever For Everyone

My father God creator of heaven and earth
He lifts me up under his wings and rises toward heavenly things
There are time in this world that I?ll be brought to me knees
Comforted by knowing I?ll be at the feet of Jesus
My brokenness will be with me while my tears will wash his feet
Revealing the pain and suffering he took for me
His blood runs over me washing away my inequity
This gift he gives me so that I can be free, free to forgive other you see

My heavenly father he lifts me up from the feet of Jesus
Together rise up again but wait what do I see
My earthly father wandering in that desert so thirstily
He doesn?t know what he is longing for because he has not yet received
As sons we become fathers and as fathers we see the world a little differently
Heavenly father help me please lift up my earthly father to thee

Daddy won?t come with me and kneel at the feet of Jesus
Together we can face our fears and wash them away with our tears
Ours tears wash over his feet to reveal his wounds and suffering
You see dad that scare on his foot it was received that so we can be free
I forgive you dad and I ask that you please forgive me too for my inequities
A son with some knowledge and grace to receive my daddy needs me to be a father to he
To show him how to forgive so that we may live
We don?t always know what our fathers endured
Just signs of brokenness that need to be freed
Dad I ask that you to receive this gift of grace from Jesus with me
Together we can be Brother is in Christ for eternity

The Father, Son & Holy Spirit in one
The gift of forgiveness is needed for everyone
You gave it us so that we could be free, free to forgive willingly
Our hearts and salvation are on the line give strength to be Devine
Heavenly father I ask just one more thing
That someday Father my children will forgive me

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Stanislav]

I think, that is very interesting book. I like a good books. I will be very happy, when you send me this book. Thank you very much.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Crystal]

We are the children of God. GOD can forgive all our sin and wrong doing. We must also learn to forgive and forget. If not we will live in the world of hatred. Todays world is an exemple, full of violence, hatred, revenge and so on..if we don't forgive, that's no peace in our heart and to this world.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Melnisa]

We should indeed forgive others for God alwalys forgive our sins and why cant we forgive others afterall its nothing that we will lose from forgiving and our minds will be set free from anger.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Bruderhof]

Melnisa wrote:

Arnold is thought-provoking and soul-challenging...He writes with an eye-
opening simplicity that zings the heart.
Houston Chronicle

[Werner]

Beautiful...We recognize ourselves in the poignant stories, and our
recognition helps us to forgive. This is a book the whole world needs.
Madeleine L'Engle

[Mary]

This is the book I would choose to give friends who are justifiably angry.
A powerful statement on the importance of forgiveness in human psychology.
Paul Brand

[Katalin]

For a long time now I have been on a search for self forgiveness. I know it started in early adolescents because I can remember praying to God to help me be a better person. Forever disappointed in myself and the way I behaved. Now, in my late 30s with 3 small children, I find myself even asking complete strangers about forgiveness and how one might achieve this self-forgiveness. Never coming up with an answer-never forgiving myself. In the meantime my anger and resentment has grown to engulf my whole life- not remembering a single day that I could lay down and fall asleep without asking God to help me change. I have no "horror" story, but I do know I was even angry as a child. Beginning with never being able to please my father through early teenage years when I began wanting to hurt back the people who have hurt me, to my shambled marriage and lack of nurturing and teaching my children to forgive. I have become a complete failure to myself just from the day to day betrayals that have occurred. I have many times uttered the words "I forgive you". yet continued to be bitter and throw the situation up at the next betrayal. I could remember the smallest detail, names, dates, places, time. That surely is not forgiveness. In hindsight, I believe I wanted someone to pay over and over for the pain they caused me because I didnt feel they paid any price to begin with. I know now that to EVERY individual the smallest betrayal of something they hold in their heart can feel as large as the most heinous crime done to someone else. We do become very self-absorbed in our own lives and self. In my search for self-forgiveness, I have only just realized that I have never truly forgiven anyone and was still harboring these feelings. My marriage is still in shambles, no doubt- but I now realize that you cannot make someone else feel as you do about forgiveness, guilt, respect and responsibility. You can only do your best to be the best you can. I do not want to face God in the end knowing that I did not even attempt to do my part. My journey has only just begun. I still lay down and wake up harboring feelings that should have been let go. I often find myself saying "If he would just have done this and not that I would be able to sleep." It is a struggle every day. Telling myself that I can forgive myself and others, and that I am worthy does help. In my soul I feel that this is just the beginning of the steps I need to become the person I have dreamed of being. Unattainable expectations of ones self are a HUGE hurdle, but I still can find great satisfaction in knowing that I am trying. I write to you in hopes that you continue to share your words and know that I am only one small spec of the greatness you are doing. There is no quick fix, we are our own worst enemy. It is a life long process that will hopefully become a very good habit to possess. Your book struck the darkest place in my heart, I thank you for showing me that there really is somewhere (no right and wrong place) to start. Thank you for helping me understand that I can make this world a better place beginning with myself and hopefully will rub off on my children also. I do believe that it can be an extremely contagious behavior. You are a dear and powerful human being and have given me more hope than words could say. Thank YOU.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Dr.Robert M. Santry]

While reading an article entitled "Get Even" I discovered the book "Why Forgive." I downloaded the book and reviewed the contents. God placed this into my hands. I dearly need to forgive two institutions that betrayed me. Daily I deal with the hurt, pain, and humiliation of the betrayal. I know I must make an act of forgiveness and move forward.
Thank you J. Christoph Arnold.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm

[Arlene Snedeker]

Your story touched my heart so deeply. I am a true believer of forgiveness and think that this story is so incredible I would love to share it with many people I know who I believe God wants to learn how to forgive. God bless you and THANK YOU for sharing your incredible story and how you dealt with what was given to you.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/e-books/WhyForgive.htm