Re: My Cigarette, My Friend

[Steve O]

On 15/09/2012 13:05, Steve O wrote:
> How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not
> only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and
> vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar odor that
> sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.
>
> He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump. Sometimes in the
> middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and
> pick him up. You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to
> you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend. Sometimes, when
> you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the
> lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots
> in your life, you go. Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing
> either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he
> burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out.
> Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too.
> Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.
>
> He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property
> destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he
> will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count
> on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.
>
> Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having
> lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't
> believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have
> that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it
> difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with
> other people when you can't breathe, do you?
>
> Your friend does not believe in being healthy. He is really repulsed by
> the thought of you living a long and productive life. So every chance he
> gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by
> running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the
> store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons
> with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of
> them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you
> prevent these diseases.
>
> But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes
> diseases that slowly cripple you�like emphysema. He considers this
> disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your
> other friends, family, career goals, activities�everything. You will
> just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is
> while you desperately gasp for air.
>
> But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes
> to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he
> decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him.
> In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He
> picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to
> ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He
> clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of
> your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly
> exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or
> later.
>
> Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend
> would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you
> ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and
> deadly. Consider all this and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
>> http://www.whyquit.com/whyquit/joelcigfriend.html
>
>