- It Works How & Why - Step 3
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STEP THREE
The surrender we experience in Step One, coupled with the hope and
belief we find in Step Two, make us ready and willing to continue on
the path toward freedom in Narcotics Anonymous. In Step Three, we put
our belief in a Higher Power into action, making a decision to turn
our will and our lives over to the care of the God of our
understanding.
Essential to working the Third Step is our willingness to allow the
God of our understanding to work in our lives. We develop this
willingness over time. The willingness we experience in our early
recovery is valuable even though we may be willing only to a certain
degree. Although this may feel like unconditional willingness, many of
us have discovered that our willingness grew as we learned to trust a
Power greater than ourselves.
The decision we make in Step Three requires that we move away from our
self-will. Self-will is composed of such characteristics as
closed-mindedness, unwillingness, seif-centeredness, and outright
defiance. Our self-centered obsession and its accompanying insanity
have made our lives unmanageable. Acting on our self-will has kept us
trapped in a continuous cycle of fear and pain. We wore ourselves out
in fruitless attempts to control everyone and everything.
We couldn't just allow events to happen. We were always on the lookout
for ways we could force things to go as we wanted. When we first look
at making the decision called for in this step, we are likely to have
questions. uncertainty, and even fear about what we are being asked to
do. We might wonder why we need to make a decision to turn our will
and our lives over to the care of the God of our understanding. Or we
may wonder what will happen to us if we place ourselves in God's care.
We may fear that we won't be happy with what our lives will be like
after working this step.
When we trust that there is growth in taking action despite our fear
or uncertainty, we are able to work Step Three. Even though we do not
know how our lives will change as we work this step, we can learn to
trust that our Higher Power will care for us better than we could. The
Third Step is our commitment to our own emotional, physical, and
spiritual well-being.
What began in the Second Step as belief in a Higher Power can become a
fuller relationship with a God of our understanding in Step Three. The
decision that we make by working this step. and the relationship that
results, will revolutionize our existence.
This decision is easier to make than to live by. We can easily lapse
into old behavior; it takes determination, time, and courage to
change. Because we're not perfect. we simply continue to reaffirm our
decision on a regular basis and then do the very best we can to live
by it. Complete and unconditional surrender of our will and our lives
is an ideal we strive to fulfill. Although we don't become perfect, we
do make a profound change by working this step. We are making a
serious effort to live differently than we have in the past. From now
on, we are going to be practicing this decision, and the way we relate
to the world around us can change radically as a result.
In working Step Three, we begin to learn how to stop struggling. We
learn to let go and trust the God of our understanding. If we take
time to think and seek direction before acting, we no longer have to
run on our own self-centered will. Turning our will and our lives over
to the care of our Higher Power provides a solution to the problems
created by a life based in self-will, resentment. and control.
The spiritual principles we are practicing will guide us, not just in
the Third Step but throughout our recovery. The first three steps
provide us with the solid spiritual foundation we will need to work
the rest of the steps. We keep our initial surrender alive by actively
practicing the faith and willingness required to work the Third Step.
In other words, we've admitted our powerlessness and inability to
manage our own lives; we've come to believe; now we need to surrender
to the care of the God of our understanding. We may find the
willingness to work the Third Step by remembering where we came from
and believing that where we are going is certain to be quite
different. Though we don't know what this "difference" will entail, we
know that it is sure to be better than what we've had in the past. We
rely on our faith and believe that this decision is one of the best
decisions we've ever made.
Turning our will and our lives over to the care of the God of our
understanding is a tremendous decision. We may very well wonder
exactly how we are supposed to put this decision into practice.
Because our individual beliefs about a Power greater than ourselves
vary, there is no uniform way to put our decision into action.
However, we have found some ways we all can use to find a personal
understanding of the Third Step. One is to continue our efforts to
develop a personal relationship with a God of our understanding.
Another is to give up our efforts at controlling everything around us.
We relax our grip on the burdens we've been carrying and turn them
over to the care of a Higher Power. Yet another way we can practice
our Third Step decision is to continue with our recovery by working
the remainder of the steps. Our sponsor will guide us in applying the
spiritual principles of recovery, showing us how to shift our focus
away from our own self-interest and toward a more spiritually centered
life.
As we get ready to make this decision. we talk with our sponsor, go to
step meetings, and take the opportunity to share about it with other
NA members. We gather as much knowledge. insight, and experience as we
can from these sources, and then we make our own decision. No one can
do it for us; we must consciously decide to do this for ourselves.
Of course, this is not a decision we make solely with our intellect.
In truth, this is a choice we make with our hearts, a decision based
much more in feeling and desire than in deliberate reasoning. Though
the path from mind to heart seems a difficult one. formally working
this step with our sponsor seems to help us make this decision a part
of who we are.
The search for a God of our own understanding is one of the most
important efforts we will undertake in our recovery. We have complete
personal choice and freedom in how we understand our Higher Power. We
can each find a Higher Power that does for us what we cannot do for
ourselves. Because we are powerless over our addiction, we need a
Power greater than ourselves to help us.
Just as our freedom to have a God of our own understanding is
unlimited, so is our freedom to communicate with our Higher Power in
whatever ways work for us. Anytime we communicate with our Higher
Power, whether it's simply with our thoughts or aloud at the close of
a meeting, we are praying. Most of us ask our Higher Power for
direction on a daily basis. Our relationship with our Higher Power
grows stronger as we practice faith. In our experience. talking to a
Power greater than ourselves works. When we are having trouble in a
particular area of our lives or when we feel unable to stay clean, our
Higher Power can help; we only need to ask. With our prayers, we ask a
Power greater than ourselves to care for us. Each time we take this
action. we strengthen our faith and our decision to rely on our Higher
Power.
Step Three doesn't free us from having to take action, but it does
liberate us from excessive worry about the results. If we want
something-a job, an education, recovery-we have to make the effort to
get it. Our Higher Power will take care of our spiritual needs, but we
need to participate in our own lives; we can't simply sit back and
expect God to do everything. We are responsible for our recovery.
Our lives are meant to be lived. No matter how sincere our efforts at
"turning it over," we will make mistakes, wander off course, and
experience moments of doubt. However, with each setback we are given a
new opportunity to renew our commitment to live by spiritual
principles. Part of the process of surrendering to God's will is to
surrender to spiritual principles such as honesty, open-mindedness,
willingness, trust, and faith. We try to align our actions with what
we believe our Higher Power would want for us, and then we deal with
life as it happens.
We may hesitate to work Step Three in all areas of our lives,
especially in matters we want to control. Our experience has been that
we tend to hold on to certain areas. Perhaps we think, "I can control
my finances just fine" or "My relationship is working; why do I need
to turn that over to the care of my Higher Power?" Working Step Three
only in certain areas of our lives short-circuits our spiritual
development. We have found that our recovery benefits when we practice
the principle of surrender, to the best of our ability, in all areas
of our lives. We strive to work this step thoroughly.
We begin to see positive results from the decision we have made. We
begin to notice changes. While the circumstances of our lives may not
change, the way we deal with those circumstances does. Because we have
made the decision to allow spiritual principles to work in our lives,
we may notice a sense of relief. We are being relieved of a burden
we've carried far too long: the need to control everything and
everyone. We begin to react differently to the situations and people
around us. As we gain acceptance, we cease to struggle against life on
life's terms. Striving to maintain and build on our surrender, we are
better able to live and enjoy life in the moment.
For some of us, deciding to turn our will and lives over to the care
of the God of our understanding is a process, not an event. However,
in making that decision, we do make a commitment to practice this step
in our lives. When we are tempted to manipulate a situation, we recall
this decision and let go. When we catch ourselves attempting to exert
control over someone or something, we stop and instead ask a loving
God to help us work this step.
Relinquishing control is not easy, but we can do it with help. With
guidance from our sponsor and daily practice, we are sure to find
ourselves learning how to get our egos out of the way so our Higher
Power can work in our lives. Each time we are fearful over a
situation, we can turn to this step and find the means to walk through
our fear without resorting to our old ways.
Recovery doesn't exempt us from having to live through painful
situations. At some point in our lives, we may have to mourn the death
of a loved one or deal with the end of a relationship. When such
things happen to us, we hurt, and no amount of spiritual awareness
will take our pain away. We do find, however, that the caring presence
of a loving Power greater than ourselves will help us get through our
pain clean. We may find that we are able to feel our Higher Power's
presence in the group, in our friends, or in talking to our sponsor.
By tapping into that Power, we begin to trust and rely on it. We can
cease questioning why painful things happen and trust that walking
through the difficult times in our lives can strengthen our recovery.
We can grow in spite of our pain or. perhaps, in response to it.
Recovery is a process of discovery. We learn about ourselves, and we
learn how to cope with the world around us. When we are sincere in our
desire to allow our Higher Power to care for us. we begin to gain a
sense of serenity. We notice a gradual change in our thinking. Our
attitudes and ideas become more positive. Our world is no longer as
distorted by selfpity, denial, and resentment. We are beginning to
replace those old attitudes with honesty, faith, and responsibility;
as a result. we begin to see our world in a better light. Our lives
are guided by our emerging integrity. Even though we make mistakes, we
become more willing to take responsibility for our actions. We learn
that we don't have to be perfect to live a spiritual life. When we
work Step Three with an open mind and heart, we find the results are
far beyond our expectations.
As we experience this new way of life, we begin to realize that
recovery is a priceless gift. We learn to trust; as we do, we open the
doors to intimacy and develop new relationships. Where once we focused
only on not using. we now can appreciate the many things that make our
lives so valuable. We savor the laughter and the joy we hear expressed
so abundantly in our meetings. As recovery becomes more central in our
lives and we internalize the principles embodied in the steps, our
view of the world changes profoundly. As our awareness grows, so does
our appreciation and faith in our Higher Power.
If we pause to reflect on our lives at this stage of our recovery, we
will see that we have experienced dramatic personal growth. The relief
we experience as a result of working the first three steps is only a
glimpse of the growth we can experience through working the Twelve
Steps.
The role of the Third Step expands in our lives as we continue working
the other steps. Step Eleven asks us to pray for the knowledge of
God's will for us and the power to carry it out. Step Three begins
this process; it is here that we start to seek God's will for us.
Moving from a self-seeking life to a life based on spiritual
principles requires us to change profoundly. With the help of a loving
God, we are ready to move forward on our journey. This is a
twelve-step program, not a three-step program. The decision we've made
in the Third Step is perhaps the most momentous decision we'll ever
make in our lives, but we need to work the rest of the steps for it to
remain meaningful. There is more work to do. We have found that the
spiritual path set forth in the Twelve Steps is the only way to
recovery in Narcotics Anonymous. Putting our recovery commitment into
action. we work Step Four.
Copyright Š 1993, Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All
rights reserved
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Kev
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Kev
Brighton UK
Patty
message <bs2q48$8o0vt$1...@ID-181496.news.uni-berlin.de>:
>This crap really cracks me up
I love you man.
Keep coming back.
...heh...
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Adolf Hitler
Der Führer
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Klicks
message <0pne00dhlog3e5b3u...@4ax.com>:
>On Sun, 21 Dec 2003 00:39:26 -0000, "Kev" <no...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>This crap really cracks me up
no, you fuck off, shit for brains.
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smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
Mel the Defiler
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