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My Story of AA Craziness

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No More AA For Me

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Feb 27, 2020, 8:15:20 PM2/27/20
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I had an artist friend who also claimed to have had 40 years of sobriety, although she was no longer attending meetings. I had gone to AA many years ago (in the 1980's and early 90's). I haven't had a drink in over 30 years. I was weaning off antidepressants after a successful stint in trauma therapy to recover from childhood abuse.

As I was on the antidepressants for a long time, 17 years, I was having a lot of trouble with insomnia, anxiety, being tired, etc. when I weaned off of them. This artist friend took this as that I had a drug problem, and needed AA and/or rehab. (This lady is no longer my friend, as she turned out to be highly controlling, and saw me as only a project and someone to talk down to to make herself feel better).

I had quit going to AA and other 12 steps in the past, due to them being cult like and not allowing me to think for myself and be my own person.

However, when this lady took me back to AA, I was in a very vulnerable position, as I was feeling poorly from tapering off the psych meds (which my doctor approved of and was overseeing). I was love bombed at the meetings, and so I kept going. I cut off contact with this extremely controlling person, who was trying to tell me how to run my life in every way, but I kept going to AA. I ended up with a sponsor who was a big book thumper, and I did all the steps as she instructed me.

However, my eyes were opened when a guy tried to flirt with me very inappropriately throughout a meeting, and then he lost control of himself and started shouting at the chairperson and thumping his hand on the table. I became extremely uncomfortable, and felt naturally a healthy sense of fear, that I was in an unsafe place.

I talked to my sponsor about it, and told her I thought this was a normal healthy legitimate fear. She said it was partly, but that also it showed my character defect of selfishness, because I was not thinking about this poor guy, and how he was hurting, etc, etc. That was too much. I refuse to take the blame for some sicko who is acting highly inappropriately sexually in a meeting, and also acting abusively towards other people there. No one did or said a thing about it in the meeting, and acted like it was normal. So, this lunatic gets away with his crazy behavior, and I'm labeled as a selfish person because it caused me to feel unsafe? What utter bullcrap. I'm so done with this AA stuff. Women are not safe in these places. They are full of unstable and unhealthy predators who will take advantage of whomever they can. I'm staying far away.

When I told my sponsor I was no longer attending AA, and thanked her for her time and generosity, I got no response from her. It just goes to show how phony and artificial our so called friendship really was. I'm glad I'm away from there. I have no desire to drink, and my only issue is trying to gradually wean off antidepressants and dealing with some physical issues caused by that. It is just a matter of time and patience.

Dexter

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Mar 4, 2020, 9:20:38 PM3/4/20
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______________________________________________

Sorry you had such a bad experience with AA. My own
departure from AA came about as I gradually as my atheism
grew stronger and I could no longer tolerate the
religiosity so prevalent in AA.

Meanwhile, you're not likely to get much response here as
this is essectially a dead newsgroup created by one of the
most deeply disturbed Alcoholics I've ever met. He was for
all intents and purposes the only poster here (with some
few exceptions) throughout its entire existence and only
posts once or perhaps twice a year now.

I tend to monitor this group out of habit. You might find
an alcohol recovery community on Facebook.

Good luck to you.

--
"The most unsettling aspect of my atheism for Christians is
when they realize that their Bible has no power to make me
wince. They are used to using it like a cattle prod to get
people to cower into compliance." - Author unknown
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