Seven Drunken Nights
Old Jinglebollocks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYG8OA2nYzI&feature=related
SEVEN DRUNKEN NIGHTS
As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my ol' horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will yi kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk yi silly ol' fool,
still you cannot see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before
And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before
As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw prick inside her cunt where my old prick should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that prick inside your cunt where my old prick should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a nice big carrot that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a carrot that can fuck me wife sure I never saw before
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYG8OA2nYzI&feature=related
Ishtar
needed someone to identify the body.
So his two best friends, Mickey and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Seamus said:
"Begob sir, he's burnt pretty bad, ain't he.... Roll 'im over, lad."
The mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked and said:
"No sir, it ain't Paddy."
The mortician thought this a bit strange and then called upon Mickey
to identify the body.
Mickey took one look at him and said,
"Begob sir, 'ees burnt up real bad, bejayzizz, roll 'im over."
The mortician rolled him over and Mickey looked down and said:
"Begob no sir, 'ee ain't Paddy."
A baffled mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Mick said,
"Well, begob sir, Paddy had two arseholes."
"What, he had two arseholes?" said the mortician, baffled.
Seamus replied:
"Oh aye, sir, everyone knew Paddy had two arseholes. Sure an sir,
whenever the three of us walked into a pub, they'd all turn their
heads an say:
'Here comes Paddy again with them two fuckin arseholes.'"
==============================================
Dan from Boston
> =====
I looked in on this group and saw your nick -- who remembers who Old
Jinglebollocks was (besides me and probably you)?