Alcoholic Daughter that I can't let go of

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Sep 26, 2008, 11:27:35 AM9/26/08
I am a 53 year old Mother and Grandmother, I have a Son who will be 31
who is kind,loving and he quit drinking a year and a half ago as he
did not like what it did to him. I always told both of my children
that whenever something isn't fun any more it is time to quit! Well,
he did not like himself, he reminded himself of his absent father. My
daughter has always been very angry, I've had her in counseling
numerous times when she was young, she is now 33 years old with two
children ,girl 15 and son 7. She married a man who is the father of
her son, but has been abusive from day one, first to her only then it
turned to my granddaughter, well they both have when drunk which is
mostly every day.My daughter has always blamed me for her father
leaving, in fact I just read a report she did in 1991 talking about
the pain of her father dropping in and out of their life and how she
always blamed me but knew it was not my fault. That tells you how long
this has been going on. When she was a teenager she became sexually
active so I took her to the Drs. and had her put on birth control.
Well, she did not take the pill and became pregnant her Senior year.
Thank God the father loved her and loved the baby with all his heart ,
he is the same age as my daughter. Even when they lived with me which
was the first two years of my granddaughters life, he was the one who
would clean, cook and care for Sammi,granddaughter. Well, my daughter
moved away from Sams Dad,moved back to the small town in which she was
born thanks to my Mother. I know Mom was trying to help but it all
backfired..6 years ago I also moved back to be closer to Mom,daughter,
grandkids etc. My daughter has used the kids as a pawn from me if I
did not agree with her, if the wind blew from the wrong direction, she
would not let me see the kids. So much has happened since April and I
have not been allowed to see the kids since then. She signed my
granddaughter over to the State as an unruly child and the system has
failed my grandchildren all the way. Anyway, I moved 16 miles out of
town as I am physically disabled and the emotional toll of not seeing
the kids was eating me alive. My granddaughter has raised my little
grandson for the last 4 years and is running with a rough crowd but
the state has done nothing. My daughters drinking is even worse and I
am a wreck..I know I have to let go but it is so hard. My daughter has
hurt me for the last time, I have done nothing but be in the wings
when she needed me or the kids needed me but suddenly it is all my
fault that she lost her job of 8 years from her drinking etc etc..I am
not one that ever just dropped in to her home, ever. Only if she asked
me to come over and watch the kids, or if she was getting beat up she
would call at all time of the night.She now denies that her life is
out of control and calls and screams vulgar names and accusations at
me. She has physically assaulted me, emotionally torn me to shreds and
sadly I can see my granddaughter following in her mothers footsteps
and my grandson is ignored and left to fend for himself. Don't say
contact CPS as someone has reported them numerous times, the police
have been there no less that 30 times in 3 years, my granddaughter
showed signs of abuse and told them she did not feel safe there but
they still did nothing. This town is in the dark ages..Social Services
does not even do what the Courts order. Sams Dad has been here for
hearing and wants custody but they want to reunite the Mother and
child, what a bunch of garbage, he is the better of the two by a long
stretch, my daughter would do anything to keep them apart and has.
What and how can I let go of this and build a life for myself? Does
the pain every get better? She (daughter) believes she is a great Mom,
not an alcoholic even though they are at the bar every night but
Sunday then they just leave the kids and go to the State line where
you can drink on Sunday...

Please help.

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