Progress, not perfection -- sorry, long
Kats
a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child," and it's helped me
tremendously in dealing with my 2 ADHD kids. But I've been
horrible at applying it to myself of DH. Flylady has helped a lot
in thinking that way about my own development. So, to keep my
focus on Progress, Not Perfection, here's a list of the progress
I've made in the last couple of weeks. I don't expect anyone to
read the entire list--it's mostly to help me see what I've done
and what I'm still working on. But I'll put an * by the ones I'm
most proud of.
Living room--
*--Finished the slipcover for the couch we'd moved in from the
family room (dirty and white, but very comfortable). I'd been
experimenting and fussing over it for at least 2 months. I used
one store-bought slipcover (didn't work alone because of the
loose pillow backs on the sofa), a twin mattress pad and twin
fitted sheet for the seat cushions, quilt batting to wrap the arms
of the sofa and back pillows plus 3 pillow cases to cover them,
and a twin flat sheet to cover the back of the couch. It looks tons
better just secured with large safety pins that are mostly hidden
anyway. It will look even better if/when I get around to stitching
everything properly.
--Removed several piles of papers, sorting to trash or to the
monthly pocket file I bought
--Only things left to do are fine tune/stitch the slipcover, clear a
small clutter pile on the hearth, hang the beautiful abacus DH
brought back from China, and organized the rest of the
videos/DVDs/CDs (need a bigger or additional rack).
*--And since we're now eating in the DR instead of in front of the
TV in the LR, this room is staying presentable most of the time.
Old Family room/now Dining Room--
--The DR in this house has always felt cramped, while the FR is
large, with a vaulted ceiling and windows that have a view of the
open space in our front and even the city lights at night. The only
ones using the FR were the kids, for watching TV or playing
Nintendo. Nobody wanted to eat at the DR table, so I moved the
DR furniture into the FR, leaving the TV in the corner for the kids.
It looks much better, and was big enough to put the leaf in the table
for DD's birthday party tonight.
--Decluttered, replaced, and reorganized items in the china cabinet
--Hung art work and brought in an extra silk tree from elsewhere
--Meals are now regularly eaten here
--Kids are now setting the table before meals and helping clean up
afterward
*--Only thing left to do in this room is clear off one small table that
I keep the stereo on, which has a few odds and ends left on it.
Kitchen--
*--Island is completely cleared off (a major frog!), as is one other
counter hot spot
--New curtains are hung over existing blinds. Had to get curtains
to hide the insulation that now covers part of the window where
BIL built wall for DH's new home office room. Used a simple
tension rod because I couldn't find the right size rod for existing
brackets. Draped 2 placemats to cover exposed part of rod
*--About half the grout in the tile floor has been scrubbed
--Frig has been totally cleaned, inside and out; magnets and
magnetic pads moved to side of frig where they don't show
--Most cabinets and drawers have been decluttered
*--Sink is regularly shined, dishes are regularly done, food is
regularly cooked
--Only things left are to clear one additional counter hot spot,
find new homes for rarely used things taking up space on the
counter, finish scrubbing the grout and then seal it, clear the
window sill, declutter last few cabinets and drawers, and
recover seat cushions on the stools we now rarely use
Old Dining room/New quiet nook--
--Brought in old couch (still looks good, but is too broken
down for every day use) from LR
--Brought in work table and coffee table from FR
--Brought in chest of drawers (kind of like a high-boy) from
master BR
--Hung art work
--Still need to clear work table of accumulated junk, place
lamps, bring in computer table and computer, and generally
pull this room together. My plan is for it to be a quiet place for
doing homework, reading, or just enjoying the view of the
mountains that is only visible from this one room
Entrance, foyer & hall--
--Cleared and swept the front entrance, cleaned the metal
security door, cleaned hand prints and other dirt on both
inside and outside of door
--Cleared lots of clutter from bookcase in foyer and other
things that were just laying around
--Decluttered linen closet, moved extra sheets and towels into
cabinets in laundry room
*--Moved lots of laundry out of hall and into bedroom for
sorting and getting through
--Replaced burned out bulb
--Still need to clear/declutter 2 short bookcases in hall where
the kids keep their games and some books
Hall/public bathroom--
--Put 3-shelf organizer in back corner of shower to hold all the
shampoos, face washes, body washes, razors, foot scrubs, etc.
(DD and I both use this shower, as does DS) so they no longer
rest precariously (and visibly) on top of the shower doors or on
the long handle on the inside door
--Put up new decorative towels
--Hung art work
*--Scrubbed shower tile and doors (they were gross!)
*--Regularly wiping down counter and mirrors, swishing toilet,
emptying trash, and spraying shower with "Shower Clean"
after use
--Only thing left to do in this room is launder the 2 rugs which
one of the cats pooped on
Master bedroom--
--Adjusted furniture placement to accommodate desk for DH
to work at (although this was done before he decided to work
in the new home office room that was originally just going to be
a storage room, so I'm not sure how this might change again)
--Moved chest out to new quiet nook after removing the few
items that were in it; also had a furniture repair guy come to
look at the chest to see about fixing the 3 broken drawers
*--Moved out an ugly computer table and an even uglier cat
scratching and climbing post the cats never use and too often
got covered by "stuff"
*--Cleared and vacuumed floor, moved in all the laundry from
the hall and have finished all but 3 or 4 loads
*--Bed is being made every single day
--There's a lot still to do here. The bedspread has to be taken
to the Laundromat (won't fit in my washer), there are 3-4 pieces
of art work to hang, I need new curtains, the dresser top needs
to be cleared, and the entire dressing area/bath room is a total
wreck. I'd also like to try to build a fabric-covered headboard;
I've never built anything in my life, but I've been inspired by all
the cool ones they've built on Trading Spaces and other home
decorating shows on HGTV.
Kids' Bedrooms--
--Floors have been cleared and vacuumed
--DS's clothes have been decluttered, some of DD's
--DS's room is in very good shape, DD's needs some work,
but both are quite passable if they want to have a friend over,
mostly because we'd put some work into them a couple of
months ago so they only needed a quick spruce up to look
good. There's a lot of clutter in DD's room, but she's cleared
2 surfaces so far, and is making PROGRESS.
Laundry room--
--Wiped down washing machine inside and out (how can a
washing machine get so dirty!?)
--Cleared top of dryer of folded clothes
*--Gathered all unused hangers from every closet so they'd be
here when I need them (there's a rod to hang them from)
--Went through odd sock bin, found many matches
--Scrubbed litter boxes
--Cleared some of the cabinets of too-small clothes that were
being stored in them until I could give them away
--Decluttered supply shelf
--Still need to dust and clean all over, scrub the floor, clear
the top of one shelf, and label the pegs on the peg rack for
each person to have a place to hang their pool towels and
wet bathing suits
Back porch/swimming pool--
--Not much accomplished YET. Lots to do, especially after
BIL left out most of what he used in building the new room.
And it may be a while before this area gets tackled, as the
weather has been 100+ for days and is expected to remain
so for a good long while. But I'm okay with it. The paths to
the pool and hot tub are both clear, and BIL also fixed the
sprinklers for the back yard and took down an ugly, half
built "club house" DH had started building for the kids
Thanks to anyone who made it all the way to the bottom.
I haven't been posting my progress regularly, partly because
I was working a little here, a little there, and only today did
the progress really start to show.
Kats
Ms. Tori
"Kats" <news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:afhc6...@enews3.newsguy.com...
> I first heard the advice to focus on "Progress, not perfection" in
> a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child," and it's helped me
> tremendously in dealing with my 2 ADHD kids. But I've been
> horrible at applying it to myself of DH. Flylady has helped a lot
> in thinking that way about my own development. So, to keep my
> focus on Progress, Not Perfection, here's a list of the progress
> I've made in the last couple of weeks.
Kats,
That's FANTASTIC! Congratulations on all your work (yes, I read the whole
list - it was great!) and on your daughter's party.
I especially like the way you are creating new systems for managing your
house, and even involving the kids in them! It sounds as if you might be
headed for long-term success.
Cheering for you,
Tori
Yvette Modayur
your progress. I slowed down a bit the last week or two but still doing
well. Some of the things you mentioned in your post got e motivated to
tackle certain things again.
Yvette
I Was The Cat
and forming new habits all at the same time! What a super job!
Brenda
"Kats" <news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:afhc6...@enews3.newsguy.com...
val189
stuff. I too am sometimes inspired by the hgtv headboards, valances etc.
Maybe someday.......
Val
Helen
<pte...@entermail.net> writes
>
>
>Kats,
>
>That's FANTASTIC! Congratulations on all your work (yes, I read the whole
>list - it was great!) and on your daughter's party.
>
>I especially like the way you are creating new systems for managing your
>house, and even involving the kids in them! It sounds as if you might be
>headed for long-term success.
>
>Cheering for you,
>
>Tori
>
ups when family want to visit. Shoving stuff out of sight, bunging it
all in one bedroom and shutting the door on it etc. To have the whole
house reasonably presentable all at once is a major achievement. *And*
it looks like it basically better organised, so keeping it de-cluttered
will be much easier.
Helen
--
Helen, Gwynedd, Wales *** http://www.baradel.demon.co.uk
Terri
Wow! Great work!
Terri
Liz Ailanthus
On Fri, 28 Jun 2002 03:01:28 -0700, "Kats"
<news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote:
>I first heard the advice to focus on "Progress, not perfection" in
>a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child," and it's helped me
>tremendously in dealing with my 2 ADHD kids. But I've been
>horrible at applying it to myself of DH. Flylady has helped a lot
>in thinking that way about my own development. So, to keep my
>focus on Progress, Not Perfection, here's a list of the progress
>I've made in the last couple of weeks. I don't expect anyone to
>read the entire list--it's mostly to help me see what I've done
>and what I'm still working on. But I'll put an * by the ones I'm
>most proud of.
Humongous snip of great stuff.
>
>Kats
>
>
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray, Kats!!!
What a great mantra, "Progress, not perfection."
Liz A
Kats
news:yzXS8.55$d34....@monger.newsread.com...
>
> Kats,
>
> That's FANTASTIC! Congratulations on all your work (yes, I read the whole
> list - it was great!) and on your daughter's party.
Thanks, Tori. I totally appreciate your wading through it all and
giving me positive feedback.
>
> I especially like the way you are creating new systems for managing your
> house, and even involving the kids in them! It sounds as if you might be
> headed for long-term success.
Gosh, I sure hope so!
Kats
Kats
news:vP3XmKAQ...@baradel.demon.co.uk...
> >
> Congratulations from me too! I know what it's like having panic clear
> ups when family want to visit. Shoving stuff out of sight, bunging it
> all in one bedroom and shutting the door on it etc. To have the whole
> house reasonably presentable all at once is a major achievement. *And*
> it looks like it basically better organised, so keeping it de-cluttered
> will be much easier.
So far so good. And even after a day of letting things slide, I know
that it can be all put back together in a 5-minute rescue. What a
relief.
Kats
Kats
news:N4ZS8.172416$_j6.8...@bin3.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com...
Glad wading through it was a positive experience for your. I felt
a little guilty going into such detail, but I needed to see it all in
print. I don't always respond when others post their lists of
accomplishments, but I do read them and often find they provide
a good kick in the behind.
Kats
Kats
news:3D1C8A78...@bellsouth.net...
I really want to try to make a head board. I want one so badly, and
think it would make a huge improvement in the overall appearance
of the bedroom. But I have never used power tools and feel quite
overwhelmed by the prospect of making it. So, for the moment, a
couple of good art prints are serving the purpose. But it's still not
a place to lean against when reading and doesn't really finish off
the room.
Kats, who often wishes she'd taken "shop" and home ec in high
school instead of French and Drama
Kats
news:afi30b$dv1nf$1...@ID-136866.news.dfncis.de...
> This was a very inspiring post. You not only are decluttering but
organizing
> and forming new habits all at the same time! What a super job!
>
> Brenda
Oh, gosh, Brenda. I'm glad it came off well. Like everyone, I'm fighting
a battle with myself over acknowledging what I've done versus seeing
only what I haven't.
Thanks for the positive feedback.
Kats
Kats
news:3D1D10E2...@aol.com...
> Wow! Great work!
Thanks Terri!
Kats
Kats
news:3d1e5d5c....@news.earthlink.net...
>
> On Fri, 28 Jun 2002 03:01:28 -0700, "Kats"
> <news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote:
>
> >I first heard the advice to focus on "Progress, not perfection" in
> >a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child," and it's helped me
> >tremendously in dealing with my 2 ADHD kids. But I've been
> >horrible at applying it to myself of DH. Flylady has helped a lot
> >in thinking that way about my own development. So, to keep my
> >focus on Progress, Not Perfection, here's a list of the progress
> >I've made in the last couple of weeks. I don't expect anyone to
> >read the entire list--it's mostly to help me see what I've done
> >and what I'm still working on. But I'll put an * by the ones I'm
> >most proud of.
>
> Humongous snip of great stuff.
>
>
> What a great mantra, "Progress, not perfection."
I really am trying to turn it into a mantra of sorts. I've got to
put that perfectionist child inside of me to rest if I'm ever
going to see long-term changes.
Kats
val189
framed pictures in lieu of.....my big goal is a pair of companion needlepoint
pieces for that wall- I'm still working on the first one.
For reading, I just prop some pillows against the wall.
Val
val189
Liz Ailanthus wrote:
>
>
> What a great mantra, "Progress, not perfection."
>
>
Too bad my bosses never felt that way - .....no wonder I hated work.
Val
Kathy Power
<news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> writes
>I first heard the advice to focus on "Progress, not perfection" in
>a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child," and it's helped me
>tremendously in dealing with my 2 ADHD kids. But I've been
>horrible at applying it to myself of DH. Flylady has helped a lot
>in thinking that way about my own development. So, to keep my
>focus on Progress, Not Perfection, here's a list of the progress
>I've made in the last couple of weeks.
I've just started with Flylady and am utterly boggled by how much you've
achieved. I read right to the end and am feeling quite inspired. I've
got a long way to go, the whole house is a complete tip but my sinks
have stayed tidy for two weeks, the kitchen is presentable and I've made
the kids packed lunches for school every night without fail.
Keep it up! What you have achieved is amazing and I hope to report some
kind of progress myself soon.
Liz Ailanthus
Welcome (or welcome back) Kathy,
I don't recall seeing your name recently.
Yes, let us know how you are doing and we will
cheer you on..
Liz A
Kathy Power
<Iwast...@aol.com> writes
>> I hope to report some
>> kind of progress myself soon.
>> Kathy
>
>packing all of those lunches!
Blimey, I did, didn't I! Actually I've been thinking about what I've
achieved this past two weeks. I've got rid of a huge pile of paper to
the recycling, about 10 black bags. While I was there I also got rid of
all the bottles, cans and stuff that had been piling up. I took three
car loads of stuff to the dump and sent a load off to a Charity Shop.
After about a year of avoiding it I've washed the chair and settee
covers which were filthy due to the kids and dogs climbing all over them
and I didn't actually notice it happening but I've just been into the
living room and it's very nearly tidy.
It must be catching because I got back from my exercise class today to
find my DH building the stools for the kitchen that have been sitting in
their box for nearly two years. He's also made a start on his tax
return which should have been done in January!
Oh and an amazing thing for me. I went to a quilt show on Sunday and
when I got back I actually got the material and stuff I'd bought out of
the car and put it away!!
I think it's starting to have an effect!!
Kats
> I don't have a headboard - just figure it's one less thing to dust. And I LIKE
> framed pictures in lieu of.....my big goal is a pair of companion needlepoint
> pieces for that wall- I'm still working on the first one.
>
> For reading, I just prop some pillows against the wall.
> Val
Part of my motivation is to keep DH from using pillows. The problem
is that he'll grab all the pillows on the bed and stuff them behind him,
then read or work (with his laptop) for HOURS. After a while, the
pillows get squished and flattened. I wouldn't mind so much if he just
used his, but I like mine to have a certain amount of firmness, and he
just kills them after a while. I've had to replace mine several times. Not
having a headboard also means the wall tends to get dirty from DH's
greasy hair (he doesn't always shower if he's just working at home).
Oh, and simply asking him not to use my pillows has NOT worked.
:-(
Kats
Kats
news:I1WF6IA5...@ntlworld.com...
> In article <afhc6...@enews3.newsguy.com>, Kats
> <news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> writes
> >I first heard the advice to focus on "Progress, not perfection" in
> >a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child," and it's helped me
> >tremendously in dealing with my 2 ADHD kids. But I've been
> >horrible at applying it to myself of DH. Flylady has helped a lot
> >in thinking that way about my own development. So, to keep my
> >focus on Progress, Not Perfection, here's a list of the progress
> >I've made in the last couple of weeks.
> <snippage of a wonderfully huge list>
>
> I've just started with Flylady and am utterly boggled by how much you've
> achieved. I read right to the end and am feeling quite inspired. I've
> got a long way to go, the whole house is a complete tip but my sinks
> have stayed tidy for two weeks, the kitchen is presentable and I've made
> the kids packed lunches for school every night without fail.
You can get there, too! I started with Flylady on Mothers Day. For the
first 2-3 weeks, all I could do every day was shine my sink and make my
bed. Then, gradually, I'd clear a little more of the kitchen, a little more of
my bedroom. Having to prepare for DH working at home was an added
incentive, and having the kids home from school and old enough to help
has been a big part of my success. It was only in the last week or two
that the rest of the house started to really show noticeable improvement.
It takes time. Progress, not perfection.
>
> Keep it up! What you have achieved is amazing and I hope to report some
> kind of progress myself soon.
I will keep it up, and I will be here to root you on, too!
Kats
Kats
See? When you start to list what you've done instead of only thinking
about what you *need* to do, it's a wonderfully self-motivating thing.
As for it being catching, it's absolutely been catching here. DH and
the kids are helping a lot more. They don't always pick up after
themselves yet, but they don't complain at all when I ask them to
do it. And because I feel more in control of myself and what I'm
doing in the house, I tend to ask them in a much nicer way than I
would have before. I don't feel so guilty or resentful when I ask
them to do something, because I know I'm doing a lot myself.
Progress, not perfection.
Kats
Nathalie Chiva
> Part of my motivation is to keep DH from using pillows. The problem
> is that he'll grab all the pillows on the bed and stuff them behind him,
> then read or work (with his laptop) for HOURS. After a while, the
> pillows get squished and flattened. I wouldn't mind so much if he just
> used his, but I like mine to have a certain amount of firmness, and he
> just kills them after a while. I've had to replace mine several times.
Why not provide him with several cheap firm pillows? It might prevent him from using yours.
Nathalie in Switzerland
Kathy Power
<news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> writes
>See? When you start to list what you've done instead of only thinking
>about what you *need* to do, it's a wonderfully self-motivating thing.
It is indeed. After posting my surprisingly long list I went and
hoovered the living room and cleared off some shelves in the kitchen.
Most of the stuff on them was complete junk that we'd somehow forgotten
to throw away :)
It made that corner look so much nicer that I carted the Guinea Pig food
that stood in front of the shelves into the Utility Room and made space
for it there. Now there was space, I could see how dirty that patch of
floor was compared to the rest, so I washed the floor as well. I raced
like mad to finish it and got sat down just in time for the show I
wanted to watch on TV. Woo Hoo!
>
>As for it being catching, it's absolutely been catching here. DH and
>the kids are helping a lot more. They don't always pick up after
>themselves yet, but they don't complain at all when I ask them to
>do it. And because I feel more in control of myself and what I'm
>doing in the house, I tend to ask them in a much nicer way than I
>would have before. I don't feel so guilty or resentful when I ask
>them to do something, because I know I'm doing a lot myself.
I think that is the key, once I'd got a grip and stopped being... well
to be honest, brattish, everyone else has been responding better. Even
my MIL who lives with us has commented on how much better the house
looks. She still makes no attempt to pick up after herself but I'm not
feeling as resentful about it and so it's not becoming the issue that it
was.
>
>Progress, not perfection.
I really do love that.
>
Kathy
--
Dorm...@thepowerfamily.demon.co.uk
Kats
news:3D216DA7...@ci.unil.ch...
Um, well, <sheepish shrug> I guess I could do that. But I don't WANT
him to work on the bed! He has an entire office room of his own, a desk
in our bedroom, AND a laptop on a wireless LAN so that he can sit
anywhere and work. I just don't want our bed to be a work space. The
comforter gets dirty, he takes food and coffee in there and leaves the
dishes/cups (and occasionally spills things), and it separates him from
the rest of the family moreso than his other spaces. And with all the trouble
I have with insomnia, one of the things I've been advised is to keep the
bedroom--especially the bed--strictly for sleeping.
Kats, being stubborn perhaps, but with at least some reasons
Nathalie Chiva
> Um, well, <sheepish shrug> I guess I could do that. But I don't WANT
> him to work on the bed! He has an entire office room of his own, a desk
> in our bedroom, AND a laptop on a wireless LAN so that he can sit
> anywhere and work. I just don't want our bed to be a work space. The
> comforter gets dirty, he takes food and coffee in there and leaves the
> dishes/cups (and occasionally spills things), and it separates him from
> the rest of the family moreso than his other spaces. And with all the trouble
> I have with insomnia, one of the things I've been advised is to keep the
> bedroom--especially the bed--strictly for sleeping.
I've known of a few happy couples who had separate bedrooms, for whatever reason
(one of them snore, or they have different rythms, or they just want their own
space). Have you considered that? He could convert his office into a bedroom
(since he seems to want a bedroom as an office anyway).
Oh, and it seems it can rekindle the fire - paying little visits to one another
:-)
Nathalie in Switzerland
Dan Goodman
"Kats" <news...@NOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote in
news:afhc6...@enews3.newsguy.com:
> I first heard the advice to focus on "Progress, not perfection" in
> a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child," and it's helped me
> tremendously in dealing with my 2 ADHD kids. But I've been
> horrible at applying it to myself of DH. Flylady has helped a lot
> in thinking that way about my own development. So, to keep my
> focus on Progress, Not Perfection, here's a list of the progress
> I've made in the last couple of weeks. I don't expect anyone to
> read the entire list--it's mostly to help me see what I've done
> and what I'm still working on. But I'll put an * by the ones I'm
> most proud of.
>
Dan Goodman
Kathy Power <Dorm...@thepowerfamily.demon.co.uk> wrote in
news:jem$wIA7VM...@ntlworld.com:
Kats
I would actually love to have separate bedrooms, but alas we've never
had a house big enough to accommodate it. I doubt DH would take it
well if I suggested it, as he seems to think I'm intolerant most of the time
where he's concerned.
Kats