Fwd: A Program of Action
Robert McGregor
sentiments.
However, I feel no desire at all to kill him, and add to agnostic
atrocities;-)
Alcoholics Anonymous Grapevine March 1989
A Program of Action
J.L., El Granada, Calif.
As an atheist with long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, I am
occasionally asked how I resolve my atheist philosophies with the
program's strong reliance on belief in God's participation in recovery
from alcoholism. I have been asked, for example, "How do you work the
program when you don't believe in God? Do you just skip the God
steps? What do you turn your life over to? I can see how you could
do Step One, and maybe even Two, but how does an atheist do Step
Three?" I have asked myself all those questions and many more over
the years as I learned how to stay sober within A.A.
Perhaps the key to remaining atheist and in A.A. is that I got
permission for some flexibility early in my A.A. experience. The man
who urged me into A.A. told me the other members would speak about
God, but I could overlook that and listen to their advice on daily
living. He said I could accept their friendship and assistance
without buying all their ideas. The woman who took me to my first
meeting told me to accept what would help me and reject what didn't -
I could choose. She pointed out that chapter five in the Big Book
says the steps are "suggested," which implies the right to reject some
of the directives.
Although I was given the permission for selection of ideas, I was also
told by my early sponsors that the Steps and recovery go together. In
other words, it would probably be necessary for me to find a way to
incorporate into my life *all* the actions described in the Steps. I
would reduce the likelihood of gaining a successful and happy sobriety
if I simply omitted the Steps that refer to God. So, with the
permission for flexibility, I also got the responsibility to find ways
to view each of the Steps as compatible with my lack of belief in God.
My job would be to interpret the program so I could live with it,
literally.
I cannot say when I began thinking about A.A.'s Steps and how I could
apply them to my life, I know that my initial sobriety consisted of
little more than not drinking and going to lots of meetings. When I
did start to listen to others' advice to incorporate the suggested
Steps into my decisions, Step Three seemed the most important one to
address. First, that Step contains an absolute declaration for belief
in God, and I recognized that reconciling my atheism with such a
seemingly incompatible concept might very well determine whether I
could remain in A.A. Second, everyone told me they had gotten the
most benefit from applying Step Three. And third, I kept hearing
people say that Step Three was their stumbling block. If that were
true for believers, I thought I was facing one heap of trouble. I
have since realized I couldn't have been more mistaken - Step Three
has been no more difficult than those which have nothing to do with
God.
Step Three had been thrust at me almost immediately. It seemed that
nearly every discussion meeting I attended during the first few weeks
used Step Three as a topic. What a greeting for an atheist! If I had
not been so desperate I might also have been too narrow-minded and
arrogant to think I could learn anything from all those strong
believers. Luckily, I was frightened, miserable, lonely, physically
weak, and unable to argue about anything. Because I wanted and needed
the safety of A.A., I was forced to listen to dozens of people
describe their experiences with turning it over, letting go and
letting God, and trusting in higher powers. I stuck around because I
had nowhere else to go. I didn't do anything about Step Three, of
course, but I did find out that all that God talk had not injured me.
My approach to Step Three started with the willingness to listen to
spiritual and religious perspectives I had dismissed many years
earlier. I did not listen with the intent or hope to convert to a
belief in God. I listened because I figured that each Step had a
purpose for being and a route for acquiring some aspect of sober, sane
living; I needed to find out just what Step Three was meant to do and
how I could achieve that purpose. Based mostly on what I heard from
others about the effect of the Step, I decided its purpose must be to
relieve self-generated conflict and fear. The method almost certainly
is to relinquish the compulsive need to control and to do what is
reasonable.
Having realized Step Three's purpose, I have spent the past sixteen
years trying to hear what people *do* when they *say* they turn their
will and their lives over to the care of God. The distinction between
what people do and how they talk about and think about that action is
very important for me. Someone would tell their method of doing Step
Three and it would strike me that I could do that; I could do it
without believing in God. I could not, however, think about my action
as having anything to do with God as my friend might, because I do not
recognize any form of God.
All of us in A.A. have heard many different methods of acting out
belief. Most of the time the process of exercising belief seems to
consist of an internal pep talk and then going about one's business.
One woman said that she "turns it over" by repeating an old phrase:
Hope for the best, expect the worst, and take what comes. And then
she cleans house or goes to work or visits a friend or whatever else
occupies normal living. She does what actually is the only reasonable
thing she can do. I can do the same thing - repeat her phrase to
remind me of the reality of chance and the absurdity of expecting to
be able to control all aspects of my life, and then go about the
business of living.
Another member described Step Three as "going with the flow" of life.
That advice helped me try to fit myself to circumstances rather than
insist on creating them. They are words for helping me establish more
rational views of my role in life's events.
Countless numbers of people have told me they recite the Serenity
Prayer as a tool for engendering an attitude of turning it over. I
now regard the statements in that prayer, except for the part about it
asking it to be a grant form God, as a description of a completely
sensible way to approach life. Even atheist can learn to recognize
the futility on nonacceptance, the value of risking changes, and the
way to tell the difference between things we can affect and those we
can't. When I begin to worry about things I can do nothing about, I
tell myself to "accept what you can't change." Often I have used the
ideas in the Serenity Prayer as a trigger for relinquishing my need to
control and as a reminder to take action when some discontentment can
be remedied.
I find I actually do very little that is different from the actions of
those who believe in God. I just think about the actions in a
different way. The words of the Serenity Prayer are a concise way to
tell myself to do what makes sense because sane and sensible action
has a track record of success. When I make a decision to quit trying
to control, I do not expect anyone or anything will oversee events and
take care of me. I make the decision because it is the reasonable
action to take. I get relief from anxieties and fears the same way
the believers do - I stop concentrating on what dismays me and direct
my attention to activities that are productive. For the past year or
so I have been using a Zen observation as a guide to Step Three
practice. The Zen master noted that peace and enlightenment come when
you stop evaluating in terms of good or bad and merely accept all of
life as what is and try to learn from it. No mention of God is there,
but the idea conveys a non-combative principle that is quite similar
to that of Step Three and it is said in a way I understand.
Observing what people do, rather than simply listening to how they
talk, has been crucial to my interpretation of all the Twelve Steps.
Concentrating on discerning the action each person takes allows me to
get around the words about God that get in the way of my understanding
how various steps work. Steps work the same way for me as for someone
who believes in God. Only the words get changed. My Step Three would
say, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care
of reasonable action."
========================================================
Ken
Robert McGregor wrote:
> Smiling as I type my disclaimers here, I don't endorse this guy's
> sentiments.
>
> However, I feel no desire at all to kill him, and add to agnostic
> atrocities;-)
>
Bob,
How interesting that Alcoholics Anonymous publishes such a piece in
1989, after people began suing them. Of course, this doesn't mean that
an AA newcomer isn't going to be slowly pressured with "thought reform"
techniques to convert to belief in the AA God. It seems that this man
at least "came to believe" in faith defined as obedience.
Ken Ragge
Bobby L.
their own value system? Are some newcomers going to be "molded" into, at
least, feigning belief in a God? I can almost guarantee this will happen,
and probably more often than we care to admit.
The real danger, to newcomers and frequent members alike, is when someone
volunteers to be a "sponsor," but does not have a sponsor themselves and
also when someone volunteers guidance on working the steps without working
the steps themselves.
I came into these meetings with the "blind faith" that ALL these people had
ALL the "answers." It suffices to say, I was wrong. Fortunately, for me,
someone very quickly advised me to discern the things I needed from all the
things I heard. Does that happen for every newcomer? I should say not, but
I am not willing to "throw out the baby with the bath water."
The fact is that getting and staying sober is a rough and often times
painful ride, whether you go to AA or not. So why do I go to AA Meetings?
It is the one place I am sure to find others who sometimes still are and
most assuredly have been where I am today - and they quite often understand.
Bobby L
"Ken" <kenr...@directvinternet.com> wrote in message
news:3E132ED0...@directvinternet.com...
Ken
Bobby L. wrote:
> Isn't that what most successful people do - ultimately - become obedient to
> their own value system? Are some newcomers going to be "molded" into, at
> least, feigning belief in a God? I can almost guarantee this will happen,
> and probably more often than we care to admit.
Bobby,
But is isn't their own value system they become obedient to. They
become obedient to "the program of His Kingdom," whatever their value
system was before indoctrination.
Ken Ragge
na...@centtell.com
<robert_...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>As an atheist with long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, I am
>occasionally asked how I resolve my atheist philosophies with the
>program's strong reliance on belief in God's participation in recovery
>from alcoholism.
And you gave us a great, detailed "HOW".
I thank you for it. I'm not an atheist, but I DO know that MANY of them, like
yourself, are successfully working the AA program of recovery.
I'm doing what little I can to put down the meaningless argument that AA is a
"religious" program and therefor inappropriate for atheists. The multitude of
them IN AA takes the wind out of THAT argument.
Best, and thanks again,
Nat
Nath...@selfcenturytel.net
(please remove yourself to e-mail me.
This is required to reduce spam))
na...@centtell.com
>The fact is that getting and staying sober is a rough and often times
>painful ride, whether you go to AA or not. So why do I go to AA Meetings?
>It is the one place I am sure to find others who sometimes still are and
>most assuredly have been where I am today - and they quite often understand.
THANK YOU, Bobby L!
Nat
Robert McGregor
news:4b271vs1cbn3ot0ve...@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 1 Jan 2003 13:16:10 +1000, "Robert McGregor"
> <robert_...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>
> >As an atheist with long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, I am
> >occasionally asked how I resolve my atheist philosophies with the
> >program's strong reliance on belief in God's participation in recovery
> >from alcoholism.
>
> And you gave us a great, detailed "HOW".
>
> I thank you for it. I'm not an atheist, but I DO know that MANY of them,
like
> yourself, are successfully working the AA program of recovery.
>
> I'm doing what little I can to put down the meaningless argument that AA
is a
> "religious" program and therefor inappropriate for atheists. The multitude
of
> them IN AA takes the wind out of THAT argument.
>
> Best, and thanks again,
>
> Nat
>
Nat, I merely forwarded the text you have falsely attributed to me, as can
still be seen in the header. Fwd is an abbreviation of forward. I also made
it very clear I do not endorse the text.
To effect an 180° turn, one must turn through 180°. It's as simple as that.
In my experienced if not less than egotistical opinion, when an
atheist/agnostic needs and wants to recover from real alcoholism, a
willingness to go to any lengths without preclusions, such as avoiding the
possibility of needing to submit to the care of a Creator God, is essential.
For me, the religious nature inherent in the AA fellowship, be it expressed
as absurdly nominal, absurdly evangelistic, or not expressed at all, is less
than ideal. Nevertheless, the powerlessness I experienced in the care of
active degenerative alcoholism, is the opposite to ideal.
Bob
Bobby L.
>
> Bobby,
>
> But is isn't their own value system they become obedient to. They
> become obedient to "the program of His Kingdom," whatever their value
> system was before indoctrination.
>
> Ken Ragge
>
Ken,
Perhaps for some this is true, but my experience has been that most folks
become obedient to whatever "Higher Power" they arrived with. I am not
saying it does not happen but neither one of us can paint the picture with
one paintbrush. I can point out as many failures as I can victories. In my
opinion, if you believe in "His Kingdom" then you make a effort to stick to
it. If you believe in something else, then you make an effort to be
"obedient" to that. That is what "of our own understanding" has come to
mean for me. I rarely see folks who "just don't believe" -- what I usually
see are folks who just don't want to be obedient to the Higher Power of
their own understanding. These folks are sometimes not willing to step down
off the pedestal long enough to see anyone but themselves as God -- even if
they have already come to see that as God's go, they suck at it. Others
have so much guilt they just cannot believe any power that might forgive
them, even if it is only the group. These folks usually need more than AA
and should be encourage to seek other help.
Oh yeah, and if you are participating in a counseling program or a rehab
program and some Jackass tells you it will interfere with your AA program,
so you better stop; GET A ANOTHER SPONSOR.
Bobby L
na...@centtell.com
Bob: I really appreciate the "How-I do-it" text you, as an agnostic working the
AA program of recovery, sent me. I've saved it. There are so many agnostics
using AA's "Religion" as an excuse for not participating in our program.
Sick people like Ken Ragge try so hard to say that AA does not work, But it
DOES!: we have millions of alcoholics staying sober TODAY, working the AA
program of recovery. There is no rational controversy regarding that fact.
Best,
Nat
Blue Moon
> Bob: I really appreciate the "How-I do-it" text you, as an agnostic working the
> AA program of recovery, sent me. I've saved it. There are so many agnostics
> using AA's "Religion" as an excuse for not participating in our program.
Religion/agnosticism/atheism is one common excuse not to work the
program. It seems to make little difference whether the individual
believes in a God or not. If anything, the program is perhaps easier
for an agnostic who has no preconceived notions.
--
Blue Moon
na...@centtell.com
>program. It seems to make little difference whether the individual
>believes in a God or not. If anything, the program is perhaps easier
>for an agnostic who has no preconceived notions.
Well said Blue.