Hey CJW
Lance Bresee
They inherited alt.recovery.aa from the Bush administration.
http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/v-fullstory/story/1397654.html
"The No. 1 item on the agenda is fixing the economy, so the new
administration immediately sets about the daunting task of trying to
nominate somebody -- anybody -- to a high-level government post who
actually remembered to pay his or her taxes. Among those who forgot
this pesky chore is Obama's nominee for Treasury secretary, Timothy
Geithner, who sheepishly admits that he failed to pay $35,000 in
federal self-employment taxes. He says that the error was a result of
his using TurboTax, which he also blames for his involvement in an
eight-state spree of bank robberies. He is confirmed after the Obama
administration explains that it inherited the U.S. Tax Code from the
Bush administration."
"The Obama administration's confirmation woes continue as Tom Daschle
is forced to withdraw as nominee for secretary of Health and Human
Services following the disclosure that he, too, failed to pay all of
his federal taxes. He blames this oversight on the fact that his tax
returns were prepared by Treasury Secretary Geithner."
"In other economic news, the CEO of GM resigns under pressure from the
White House, which notes that it inherited the automobile crisis from
the Bush administration. GM is now essentially a subsidiary of the
federal government, which promises to use its legendary business and
marketing savvy to get the crippled auto giant back on its feet,
starting with an exciting new lineup of cars such as the Chevrolet
Consensus, a ``green'' car featuring a compressed-soybean chassis, the
world's first engine powered entirely by dew, and a 14,500-page
owner's manual, accompanied by nearly 6,000 pages of amendments."
"In another embarrassment for the White House, New York is temporarily
thrown into a panic when Air Force One flies low over Manhattan for a
publicity photo shoot. Responding to widespread criticism, Gibbs notes
that President Obama inherited Air Force One from the Bush
administration."
" ... President Obama nominates Sonia Sotomayor, setting off the
traditional Washington performance of Konfirmation Kabuki, in which
the Democrats portray the nominee as basically a cross between Abraham
Lincoln and the Virgin Mary, and the Republicans portray her more as
Ursula the Sea Witch with a law degree. Sotomayor will eventually be
confirmed, but only after undergoing the traditional Senate Judiciary
Committee hazing ritual, during which she must talk for four straight
days without expressing an opinion."
"On the economic front, California is caught on videotape attempting
to shoplift 17,000 taxpayers from Nevada. General Motors files for
bankruptcy and announces a new sales strategy under which it will go
around at night leaving cars in people's driveways, then sprinting
away."
"In government news, top Washington thinkers, looking for a way to
goose the economy along, come up with the ``Cash for Clunkers''
program, under which the federal government provides a financial
inducement for people to take functional cars, which are mostly
American-made, to car dealers, who deliberately destroy these cars and
sell the people new replacement cars, which are mostly foreign-made.
This program, which was budgeted for $1 billion, ends up costing $3
billion and is halted after a month. The administration declares that
it has been a huge success, which everybody understands to mean that
it will never, ever be repeated. With this mission accomplished, the
top Washington thinkers are free to train all of their brainpower on
the nation's health-care system."
President Obama, in the first serious test of his presidency,
announces that he will send U.S. troops to rescue Democratic members
of Congress pinned down in town hall meetings by constituents firing
hostile questions concerning the administration's health-care plan,
which turns out not to be wildly popular outside of the immediate
Capitol Hill area. The president dismisses concerns that his health-
care agenda is in trouble, observing that ``there's something about
August going into September where everybody in Washington gets all wee-
weed up.'' White House spokesperson Gibbs explains that the ``vast
majority'' of the wee-wee was inherited from the Bush administration."
"On the international-finance front, leaders of the world's economic
powers gather for the G-20 summit meeting in Pittsburgh, where, in a
rare display of unity, they vote unanimously to fire whoever is
responsible for selecting their meeting sites."
"On a happier note for the White House, President Obama wins the Nobel
Peace Prize, narrowly edging out Beyoncé."
"In other White House news, the president, in a much-debated post-
Thanksgiving decision, announces that he is sending U.S. troops into
the electronics departments of 1,400 Best Buy stores to prevent Black
Friday shoppers from killing each other over flat-screen TVs. Hours
later the president withdraws the troops, calling the situation
``hopeless.'' Press Secretary Gibbs notes that the president inherited
Black Friday from the Bush administration."
"Also, as the year draws to a close, the Centers for Disease Control
releases an urgent bulletin warning of a new, fast-spreading epidemic
consisting of severe, and in some cases life-threatening, arm
infections caused by ``people constantly sneezing into their elbow
pits.''
But despite all the gloomy news, the holiday season brings at least
temporary relief to a troubled nation -- especially the children,
millions of whom go to sleep on Christmas Eve with visions of Santa in
his reindeer-powered sleigh flying high overhead, spreading joy around
the world.
With a North Korean missile flying right behind."