Where are all the AA Jokes?
Ace Renegade
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jmc...@world.net wrote:
>
>But, as a member of AA, I enjoy jokes taking the mickey out of AAs too: can
>we have some of them too, please?
OK- I don't know about taking Mickey out, I always had more fun with Bob,
but here goes...
This drunk is about a year sober and using his sobriety like a club. His
little wifey is busting her ass trying to keep him happy and makes his
favorite meal complete with desert. She times everything impeccablly, and
his meal is steaming on the table when he gets home from work.
"I don't want to eat this shit," the drunk grumbles.
Back to the drawing board, wifey asks him what he wants for dinner, assuring
him he can have anything he wants.
"I want to eat an earthworm," the drunk decides after some consideration.
After determining that he'd prefer the worm breaded and baked, as opposed
to fried, wifey retires to the back yard with a shovel and returns with
a trophy specimen of analid. She carefully prepares the meal, first washing,
then breading and baking the worm precisely at 350 degrees until it is
tender and juicy. She doesn't want to do anything to upset the drunk, so
she measures the worm and cuts it exactly in half with a razor blade, then
puts half on his plate, and half on hers. Perplexed by the disgruntled
look on the drunks face, she enquires what might be wrong now.
"You took my half," he bitches.
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Gimpguy
writes:
>
>But, as a member of AA, I enjoy jokes taking the mickey out of AAs too:
can
>we have some of them too, please?
Please explain.
Mickey
Tom Flynn
>we have some of them too, please?
Hi John - Do you get the GrapeVine in the Land Down Under?
It has 'Ham on WRY' every month with AA Jokes.
For example:
Alcoholics are like tea bags. They don't work until they're in hot water!
OR -
The Al-Anon husband and the AA wife were lying in bed having the classic
argument: 'You're impossible' cried he. 'No', she insisted,'I'm next to
impossible!'
or-
Booze-Battered, the agnostic executive finally dropped to her knees by her
bed, clasped her hands and began, 'To whom it may concern....'
I only repeated the short ones.... there are plenty others.
Best regards for your continued sobriety......
Tom
John McGhie
>In article <4dsmgg$d...@sydney1.world.net>, jmc...@world.net (John McGhie)
>writes:
>>
>>But, as a member of AA, I enjoy jokes taking the mickey out of AAs too:
>can
>>we have some of them too, please?
>Please explain.
I enjoy jokes making fun of us AAs. I was asking people to post some of
those.
We have just had a series of jokes making fun of Al-Anons. I enjoyed them,
but I would like to balance things up a bit.
Cheers.
John M. home group Stella Maris,
Sydney, Australia
jmc...@world.net
NDevors
>
>But, as a member of AA, I enjoy jokes taking the mickey out of AAs too:
can
>we have some of them too, please?
>Please explain.
>Mickey
Perhaps he means this like when someone "slips a mickey" into a drink. I
used to think that every time I went out drinking someone was slipping me
a mickey because of how horrible my nights (and the next morning) would
turn out.
Ndevors
Brian K. Lord
Kind of like my first few days of recovery.
How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Aimless
Great joke!
My husband (al-anon) and I both laughed really hard, but for some reason,
he laughed a lot longer than I did? I wonder why?
Happy Joyous and Free
Amy
---
On 31 Jan 1996, David Studenick wrote:
> John McGhie (jmc...@world.net) wrote:
> : gim...@aol.com (Gimpguy) wrote:
>
> : >In article <4dsmgg$d...@sydney1.world.net>, jmc...@world.net (John McGhie)
> : >writes:
>
> : We have just had a series of jokes making fun of Al-Anons. I enjoyed them,
> : but I would like to balance things up a bit.
>
> O.K. How many alkies does it take to change a light bulb?
>
> A. Five, One to stand on a ladder and hold the bulb and four to drink
> until the room spins!!!!!!
>
> YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK!
>
> David S
> 7/6/86
>
>
David Studenick
TADPOLE50
<egn...@tsufl.edu> writes:
>I'm brand new to the computer net and have no idea what is about to
occur.
Welcome to the newsgroup Brian! What has occured is your messge
has gone around the world. Nifty Huh! :) To get a better idea on what
the
newsgroup is about look for the newsgroups FAQ. In the mean time, Brian
grab a chair, and have a cup of coffee.
KCB,
George
Aimless
HA HA!
---
On 31 Jan 1996, Brian K. Lord wrote:
> I'm brand new to the computer net and have no idea what is about to occur.
> Kind of like my first few days of recovery.
> How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?
>
>
>
BethZimmer
>I'm brand new to the computer net and have no idea what is about to
occur.
>Kind of like my first few days of recovery.
You found us, and you just reached out around the world without
leaving your chair. Coffee's in the back.
BethZ
BethZ
94XLH 883 Hugger
Basic Black
Bitch #6
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There are no sidelines in the game of life.
Everyones a player
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zimm...@comswsys.tinkernet.af.mil (work)
beth...@aol.com (play)
Rebecca Logan
[> O.K. How many alkies does it take to change a light bulb?
[>
[> A. Five, One to stand on a ladder and hold the bulb and four to drink
[> until the room spins!!!!!!
Another version:
How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. The alcoholic holds the bulb, then the whole world revolves around him.
Becky L
Western Washington
5/25/88
Fred B.
find offensive. Don't try this at home. And don't blame *me* if you go out and
get drunk after reading this! And clean up your room.....
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A person, of indeterminate age and gender (it was a *very* dark room), walked to
the bar in an establishment that served alcoholic beverages.
Said person ordered a tall shot of chilled pepper vodka, imported from the USSR.
The barperson brought the drink and started running a tab.
A short time later the barperson looked down the bar and saw the customer pick
up the tall shotglass, hold it up to the light, look at it, *smile* and set it
back on the bar without drinking it. The barperson rushed, modestly, down the
bar to the customer and inquired about the drink.
"Excuse me valued regular customer. Is there something wrong with this drink?
Should I take it away and bring you another?"
"Oh, no...no. That is really quite all right, I think. Kindly bring me another
of the same," said the customer with a big smile. The barperson reached out to
remove the offending drink, which had by that time warmed to nearly room
temperature, but the customer quickly waved him away and said, "No, no. Please
leave it there on the bar."
So, the barperson hastened to bring a carefully selected tall *clean* shotglass
full of chilled (32 degrees F) pepper vodka, from a *freshly* opened bottle,
imported from the USSR. (It was a classy establishment.) The barperson
carefully set the shotglass on a fresh drink napkin and...feeling a bit of
trepidation...waited.
The barperson didn't have long to wait. Almost immediately the customer took
the fresh drink, cast a hasty glance toward the sweaty shotglass full of room
temperature pepper vodka, imported from the USSR, and swallowed the chilled
pepper vodka in one gulp. With smacking lips and beaming smile the customer
said, "Keep them coming."
A while later the barperson brought the tenth or twelfth shotglass of chilled
pepper vodka, and ventured a query, "Kind valued regular customer...may I ask a
question?"
"Yesh...you may...you just did <giggle>," said the customer, with a nod and a
wink. The barperson nodded his head in agreement and smiled, conservatively.
"Why have you insisted that I leave the first drink on the bar? It is obviously
spoiled in some manner and not fit for consumption? Please allow me to remove
it!"
"Yess...you, you are correct that is isshh somehow <clearing throat> Yesh there
is something wrong with *that* ...umh...drink," the customer finally said. "My
sig-signifigant-snignificant ... the other one I'm married to <nod and a wink>,
sent me to...umh...<leaning forward and whispering> the A.A. Anonymous
meeting...beCAWse...'YOU have a drinkink problems'...Sso I went there...to this
A.A.A. meetings.
"Yes valued customer," said the barperson, with a nod of understanding. "You
went to an A.A. meeting."
"Did I tell you that? Nevermind," said the customer. "THESE PEOPLE
SAID...sorrrry...sshhh...these wunnerful people told me a secret...umh....they
toll me it ish the *first* DRINK that get's me druunk. <leaning forward and
whispering> Sooo I ain't gonna drink it...a-a-and that way I-i-e-e can't get
drunkkk."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ummh? Guess you had to be there. This is a silly adaptation of a joke I heard
years ago at the meeting after the meeting. I probably overdid it huh? <grin>
Gotta work on that delivery.
Denise Oliver
'fbru...@mailhost.onramp.net (Fred B.)' wrote:
>This is a silly adaptation of a joke I heard
>years ago at the meeting after the meeting. I probably overdid it huh?
<grin>
>Gotta work on that delivery.
:)
Denise O.