Another "Be Honest, play along" Threat ;-)
Chronocidal Charlie
*playing* along, so I'm only addressing the *remaining* failures *among*
us, and I am not so naive as to not expect, or can not accept that there
are those who have *never* for any reason, or excuse to have even seen
fit, or considered the *idea* I'm about to expound on. Kind of like the
*idea* that a normal person, or one who has *no* problem as far as
*alcohol* is concerned would never even have need to consider a means of
moderation or even entertain the *prospect* of *quitting* except perhaps
in a *life* style change such as *going* vegan for reasons of a change
in ideals or principles or as a matter of seeking a more healthy lifestyle.
Stop and think now. Okay.
Since discovering, stumbling on, being directed to, ARAA, by what ever
means you arrived here or how ever you got here...
What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out of your
mind." and *not* a *part* of your life in some or any respect, taking in
the *realistic* consideration of passing thought or some incident
spurring simply a *memory* of the past, such as a *recovered* alcoholic
might have similar to "If we are painstaking about this phase of our
development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are
going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the
past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the
word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale
we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others." ;-)
If so, why?
I'll go on and play first.
*I* *Have*
Numerous times in the *past* thirteen or fourteen years of experience
in, around and about ARAA.
And in all, *total* *absolute* *rigorous* *honesty* have to admit, it
has invariably, with the exception of a couple of times due to just
simply not having an operable computer or access to one connected to the
Internet, been to some extent or another, or *totally* due to the
following...
<quote from How It Works>
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on
self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in
collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor
who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the
lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own
way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as
he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would
be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these
arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind,
considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self- sacrificing. On
the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But,
as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to
think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He
becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the
case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be
somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He
becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he
not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim
of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this
world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the
players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make
each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the
show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion
rather than harmony?
Our actor is self-centered � ego-centric, as people like to call it
nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida
sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the
minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians
and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world
would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has
wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up.
Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves,
our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness � self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our
troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion,
self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they
retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we
invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions
based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise
out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will
run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we
alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God
makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting
rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical
convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we
would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much
by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing
God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of
life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His
agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are
simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch
through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things
followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we
needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established
on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our
own little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in
seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in,
as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life
successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose
our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.
</quote from How It Works>
Will it happen again, or will I get myself in the predicament again
where I find myself *grandstanding* my departure from ARAA because I
simply throw a tantrum because I'm not getting my way or not receiving
the respect, consideration, attention, strokes, etc. my *ego* can get
out of *kilter* to the point of *dominating* or controlling my actions,
attitude, behavior or outlook?
Possibly. Probably.
I feel I've grown considerably over the last fourteen years, and even
though, I consider myself a *recovered* *alcoholic* *I* *am* *not*
*reborn* yet in my humanness, or acquired sainthood nor perfection.
I'm just still plugging along toward progress, and tinkering with my
adjustment screws, escapement and balance wheel. ;-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05PBA_F23hg
How that for grandstanding Robert? ;-)
CC
S.LaRocca
news:ccidnXMFkek7ypzW...@giganews.com:
>
> What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out of
> your mind." and *not* a *part* of your life in some or any respect,
> taking in the *realistic* consideration of passing thought or some
> incident spurring simply a *memory* of the past, such as a *recovered*
> alcoholic might have similar to "If we are painstaking about this
> phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way
> through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We
> will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will
> comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far
> down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can
> benefit others." ;-)
>
> If so, why?
>
> I'll go on and play first.
>
> *I* *Have*
>
I have for a period of maybe 2 weeks at a time, once or twice.
Once when I was in the U.K. & another time when I was in Newfoundland &
Nova Scotia...I'll also stay off of Usenet if I leave home, be it
overnight or for up to a week...I just don't travel with a
laptop...Sometimes, you just gotta have a break from being connected.
At times when I'm home, I say to myself that I'm staying out of a.r.aa.
but something pulls me back in...You know, I've just gotta see who's
poking who with a stick.
--
*************************************************************************
A fartin' horse is ready to retire....A fartin' man's the one to hire.
jimbo
wrote:
> What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out of your
I think I left for 4 or 5 years as I was working, dealing with cancer
and taking care of my mother and ARAA was way,way down on my
priorities list. I mean, honestly, why would I want to stand next to
what appears at times to be a steaming pile of shit.
Jim
Tex
>At times when I'm home, I say to myself that I'm staying out of a.r.aa.
>but something pulls me back in...You know, I've just gotta see who's
>poking who with a stick.
As I have no life ... araa is what gives me reason to live...somebody
hit a pole and knocked the electricity out for about 45 minutes a few
months back and I went into CT's. Made me think about buying one of
those juice boxes for such happenings.
If I go out the door ... and go someplace ... araa doesn't even enter
my mind ...doesn't matter if it's 10 minutes or 10 days ...so I'm
pretty sure it's an environment deal ...as I can't get radio reception
without paying for it and the directv I do have hasn't anything worth
watching it's bouncing back n' forth doing araa & cruising ebay. Like
I could finish up a couple projects or clean house, but jesus, when I
give in to those thoughts it's like admitting defeat.
My neighbor I interact with is back from Montana and I used to spend
time up at his place bullshitting about nothing, but he brought a
woman back with him (fucking home wrecker) so that pretty much kills
that deal because them wimmin's don't seem to understand sittin'
around for hours on end just talkin' about nothing and more nothing.
Basically araa is cheap entertainment and keeps me out of *real*
trouble. What I really enjoy and get out of araa isn't so much aa
mechanics as it is a view into the lives of others without having to
invest to much of my time and effort nor be involved 1st hand in any
of it. Fit's in with my loner lifestyle nicely.
CW
> On Nov 16, 8:44 am, Chronocidal Charlie <c...@chronocidal-charlie.me>
> wrote:
>> What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out of your
>> mind." and *not* a *part* of your life in some or any respect, (snip)
>
> I think I left for 4 or 5 years as I was working, dealing with cancer
> and taking care of my mother and ARAA was way,way down on my
> priorities list.
And so what's changed?
> I mean, honestly, why would I want to stand next to
> what appears at times to be a steaming pile of shit.
> Jim
I take it you've never been a farmer?
Tex
wrote:
> I mean, honestly, why would I want to stand next to
>what appears at times to be a steaming pile of shit.
>Jim
I ask myself a similiar version of this on a regular basis and the
best answer I can come up with is it beats standing in the middle of a
real face to face and live steaming pile of shit.
Probably why I golf with the fellows I do .... show up toss the balls
and play .... no backyard barbeques etc. involved ... not required to
get into all their bullshit away from golf nor them in mine.
Charlie M. 1958
> Since discovering, stumbling on, being directed to, ARAA, by what ever
> means you arrived here or how ever you got here...
>
> What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out of your
> mind." and *not* a *part* of your life in some or any respect
Reading and posting here is pretty much what I'd call info-tainment...
mostly just for grins, but with the occasional piece of valuable
information or a new bit of insight thrown in.
I don't suffer from araa withdrawal when I'm unable to participate due
to other obligations or separation from internet access. Probably the
longest period of such a time was during the course of a two-week cruise
back in April.
To be honest, though, I'd have to admit that this place is never really
out of my mind for long. I don't think a day goes by that I don't have
/some/ thoughts related to alcoholism and recovery. And I think pretty
much every thought I form on those topics bears, at the very least, some
minute influence of thoughts and ideas that have been expressed and
debated here.
Chronocidal Charlie
purists and top posting. ;-)
How often, if you do such, do you engage in inter-personal
communications with another person who is familiar with ARAA,
participates or posts here, lurks, or reads it on a regular, semi
regular or sometime basis, that ARAA, ARAA affairs, people, personas,
current happenings, do not or does not in some manner enter into the
communications; phone, VOIP, chat, mailing list, F2F? come on now.
*Honesty* remember. ;-)
Gripes, complaints, laments, rants, a WTF is ole so and so trying to do
whine, or a tid bit of juicy gossip, a "Wonder where Old So and So went,
is he okay?" or a "Good riddance to bad rubbish, thank Gawd 'nd Gray
hound he gone."
Does you wife, mate, SO, children, neighbors, boss, associates, or
*anyone* in the world other than *you* know what your name is in
cyber-space, or "What was your name in the States?"
CC
F.H.
> Obviously those who have succeeded in the following, are exempt from
> *playing* along, so I'm only addressing the *remaining* failures *among*
> us, and I am not so naive as to not expect, or can not accept that there
> are those who have *never* for any reason, or excuse to have even seen
> fit, or considered the *idea* I'm about to expound on. Kind of like the
> *idea* that a normal person, or one who has *no* problem as far as
> *alcohol* is concerned would never even have need to consider a means of
> moderation or even entertain the *prospect* of *quitting* except perhaps
> in a *life* style change such as *going* vegan for reasons of a change
> in ideals or principles or as a matter of seeking a more healthy lifestyle.
>
> Stop and think now. Okay.
>
> Since discovering, stumbling on, being directed to, ARAA, by what ever
> means you arrived here or how ever you got here...
<snip fer Tommy>
I was looking for porn and stumbled across araa. Don't think I need a
12 step program type analysis to apply to araa. Got friends here. Some
that I hold in higher regard than they would imagine. Even the flaming
skirmishes carry the chance of gaining insight. Dawned on me a while
back that on average, when it comes to flaming exchanges, I usually bite
on something that is already getting under my skin. Some expectation
that I've been carrying around just under the surface that leaves me
with a feeling of unfinished business, powerlessness or outrage.
If I attach myself to some individual, some topic that makes my blood
pressure rise, then...., (as the Buddhists would say) I have formed an
attachment, I am not "accepting what /is/."
So..., just lately, before I fire off an insult in response to a post, I
try to remember to ask myself if what I have to say will, (if I don't
already /have/ a negative attachment to that person of topic) create
one? "Try" is the operative word here. If I fail, if I /do/ jump in
the shit, I try not to linger till it gets crusty.
There certain posters of course where in order to have any exchange at
all you must go waist deep in dodo. Another thing I do a little less of
lately is add emoticons. Why, because I figure I'm not the only one who
"bites on something thats already under my skin." It makes for better
conversation if someone has to /think/ a minute before jumping out of
their shoes. Some posters have mentioned how araa has been a good
experience for them and I think it has been for me also.
If none of the above sounds credible then just fall back on another,
simpler truth: I have a well established tradition of getting embroiled
in 'steaming piles of shit' and not knowing when or how to extricate myself.
Tex
<c...@chronocidal-charlie.me> wrote:
>How often, if you do such, do you engage in inter-personal
>communications with another person who is familiar with ARAA,
Don't know anyone that is .... every once in awhile I'll mention a
post to my neigbhor, but he's not really familiar with aa or araa.
I pretty much keep my virtual world to myself...I do on occasion email
a link (arf'er type) to some puckered butt aa's I know. Most of whom
are totally shocked there exists stuff out there which doesn't show aa
with a halo and such attitudes exist.
Several of them would make the Gone Poser ... look like a boy scout
...cause they ain't wanna be thumps ... they be the real thing!
As a side not I don't much interact with real live humans too much as
a whole ...if I didn't get a phone call now n' then trying to sell or
badger me into something I might go the whole day without seeing or
talking to another live human being...and I do have a few of those
good days. :)
jimbo
> And so what's changed?
I have a bit of spare time and I piss it away here.
> I take it you've never been a farmer?
I was reared on a farm and as a kid one of my jobs was to load the
spreader while the 2nd one was being spread on the field. I certainly
know shit from shinola.
Jim
Tex
wrote:
>I was looking for porn and stumbled across araa.
Damn ...that's what is referred to as too ... much ... info ... more
than we need to know. But you lucked out then ... you get all this
brilliant extra stuff along with Sharx666 ... you're a double winner!
jimbo
> Probably why I golf with the fellows I do .... show up toss the balls
> and play .... no backyard barbeques etc. involved ... not required to
> get into all their bullshit away from golf nor them in mine.
I ride with a group that can be 4 to 10 people on Saturday and Sunday
mornings and they go to Starbucks after and I go home. I don't drink
coffee and b/c of my hemi larygenctomy, I can't be heard in a crowd.
That's my excuse and I've used it for 16 years now and I'm comfortable
with it.
Jim
mikewestvale
I wish you would keep your nose out of my diary. There are days I just
love to prick balloons and pop bubble wrap.
mikewestvale
Whenever I refer to some of the good ol boys, as I call em on here. my
friends kind of roll their eyes and have that WTF expression. I tell
em you just don`t have the proper intellect to understand folks like
Tex, CC, FH, and etc. I understand etc the best of the lot. He a real
good ol boy.
Tommy
news:Xns9CC5719DC4D7...@216.151.153.62...
> a.r.aa.
> but something pulls me back in...You know, I've just gotta see who's
> poking who with a stick.
Me, I love to do a bit of poking, and see then who has the longest
stick heh heh
Or the shortest poke.
I don't bother too much with those that can't take a good stiff poking
though.
Its respect I guess :-)
Cheers
T poker
S.LaRocca
@mid.individual.net:
>
>
> Me, I love to do a bit of poking, and see then who has the longest
> stick heh heh
>
> Or the shortest poke.
>
> I don't bother too much with those that can't take a good stiff poking
> though.
>
> Its respect I guess :-)
>
> Cheers
> T poker
>
>
>
You got it Tommy...That's what life is all about...If somebody isn't
poking me with a stick, I figure that I've done something heinous to piss
them off that bad, as to make them ignore me.
Tara Green
> you're a double winner!
Oh man. I'd managed to completely forget that
phrase.
Now I have to start all over.
Sharx35
"jimbo" <jbl...@videotron.ca> wrote in message
news:87b7350e-5746-456a...@r31g2000vbi.googlegroups.com...
Many at my former home group go to a coffee bar, the Second Cup, after their
meeting. I've never gone. Back when I was single, though, I did avail myself
of such, uh, opportunities.
Sharx35
"Tex" <twiz...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:2743g5h04jobp9g1e...@4ax.com...
Sharx666 IS unique!
mikewestvale
Join us tonight Jim at the Dairy Queen its a fine after meeting and
their is no ah er um stepping beyond 12. Dammit! These women grow
morals when they get sober.
Sharx35
"mikewestvale" <mikewe...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:80a25ccb-b5d5-449c...@g23g2000yqh.googlegroups.com...
Indeed, some of them think that they are sitting on a gold mine!
F.H.
While in fact its more like a bag of dried prunes.
Tara Green
Or they're simply not interested in the
wrinkly prunes of certain gentlemen posting
here....
;-)
F.H.
LMAO, I felt that coming /before/ I hit send. At some point the
expression "they all look the same" becomes true for both genders. <eg>
Luckily, there seems to be a built in mechanism that allows us to
unconsciously adjust for time and still feel a bit of a glow at the
sight of a loved one after years of time taking its due. Our sense of
what constitutes handsome and/or beauty keeps making adjustments.
Anymore, I'm just grateful for a smile with all the teeth. :)
mikewestvale
> F.H. wrote:
> > Sharx35 wrote:
>
Persaccly
Sharx35
"F.H." <connec...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:2aGdnXPG18lRcpzW...@giganews.com...
Is that what Fat Tony's testes feel like after you have sucked them dry?
ROFL
F.H.
You sick little child coveting pervert scumbag coward. Good thing you
have distance between us.
Sharx35
Fat Tony is far from being a child. I LOVE this newsgroup!!!
F.H.
So, Dave, in addition to all your /other/ perverted fantasies you also
dream of sucking cock. Can't say that I find that surprising. I let
you out of my kill file for some reason, now you are back. Permanently.
Ted H
Chronocidal Charlie <c...@chronocidal-charlie.me> wrote:
> Since discovering, stumbling on, being directed to, ARAA, by
> what ever means you arrived here or how ever you got here...
>
> What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out
> of your mind." and *not* a *part* of your life in some or any
> respect...
Well, I stumbled across this group shortly after it was created,
and hung around for a number of years. There was a period of a
few years, give or take, that I didn't drop in at all. I think
this would have been in about 2000-2002, but I'm just guessing.
Don't really care enough about the accuracy to go back and do any
research. Mostly it was because I was spending a *lot* of time
riding my bicycle, in attempts to become a competitive racer.
We're talking somewhere in the neighborhood of 6-7000 miles a
year. With work and a family (several track or cross country
meets a week) and work, I just didn't have time for anything else.
--
Ted H.
Ted H
Chronocidal Charlie <c...@chronocidal-charlie.me> wrote:
> How often, if you do such, do you engage in inter-personal
> communications with another person who is familiar with ARAA,
> participates or posts here, lurks, or reads it on a regular,
> semi regular or sometime basis...
Not that often. Have talked to half a dozen or so in person a
time or two, and see Mark every month or two at a meeting. Only
two phone calls that I can recall in all the years.
of course there *is* the hive...
--
Ted H.
Sharx35
Please to not transcribe YOUR lust for Fat Tony's mansap onto me!
nipntuk
Chronocidal Charlie <c...@chronocidal-charlie.me> wrote:
> Since discovering, stumbling on, being directed to, ARAA, by
> what ever means you arrived here or how ever you got here...
>
> What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out
> of your mind." and *not* a *part* of your life in some or any
> respect...
Weeks on end for me, at this point, though "part* of my life" is open to
interpretation. I keep my subscription, and every so often go in to mark the
threads read - and here and there read a few select posts.
Can't much afford to start my days with a leisurely cuppa joe and string of
mostly irrelevant quips & exchanges. I settle for just the joe and then hit the
ground running. Mr. L.'s dementia is advancing by leaps and bounds. The meds
he's on cause side effects - this past week being related to liquid expulsion
from both ends of his unfortunate little body. The cleanup is not for the weak
of stomach, lemme tell ya. My washer works full time, I might as well live in
rubber gloves, and I should own stock in Chlorox.
He's mostly happy, though. Still enjoys everything Elvis - still gets to rock to
the Elvis Station on XM when we're running to Dr's appointments, and still loves
a good Happy Meal after he's been poked and tested and examined by the endless
parade of Docs and technicians and other good people who tend to want to do far
too much. Rob, it might please you to note that many of the games and puzzles I
bought from the source you pointed me to a couple years ago remain happy
pastimes, even though he is pretty much unable to complete the most rudimentary
tasks and concepts.
We still aren't looking too far over the horizon - some days are good and some
are a struggle, but as long as we're alive we oughta be living. He still isn't
at the point where he doesn't remember familiar names or faces - still lives in
the love of his friends and family, and I still do my best to get him out the
door each morning to get on the short bus and head off to Day Program. He's
wearing braces on both legs now, which add yet another layer to the morning
routines - lots of straps and adjustments to make before the shoes go on, and
more direct physical assistance with ambulation until he gets steady.
He can no longer dress of bathe himself, and turns his room upside down
routinely. Hard to see these things from the guy we worked so hard to teach so
many skills and abilities following his life in the institution, so long ago.
The small amount of unsupervised time he used to be allowed isn't appropriate
for him anymore - so making runs to the store for OJ in the middle of the night
is out of the question, unless I were to roust him from his bed and take him
along, which just isn't a very viable option.
This has made it tough to give my dad the attention he really needs, so I've had
to rely more on the services of his assisted living to manage some of the
details of his care. He just came through a bad round of pneumonia that had him
on a ventilator in the ICU at one point, and then weeks of skilled care to get
him well enough to go home....
Meanwhile my Step brother, who has advancing cancer bailed on his wife and his
treatments, and went to Nashville to live with a nurse and undertake an
experimental program that likely won't save him - he could, in fact, be getting
nothing but placebos in the clinical trials he's in.
While all this stuff spins, Mr. D. and Mr. E. are doing well - better than ever
in fact - though the administrative people who make all the big decisions for
them (and pretend to uphold their state of choice all the while) watch us with a
wary eye, ready to move someone out of here if it looks like life might be too
much for me to handle. That shoe seems ever-ready to drop, which adds to the
sense that everything is tenuous and fraught - yet I try to stay grounded in a
few simple ideas, which help me not to be overwhelmed.
I remember that throughout my life, every period of major change and uncertainty
has brought something good along with it. I try to be mindful that where we are
right now is a matter of the choices I've made with open eyes along the way, and
that we are fulfilling the promises of a lifetime. Those promises have brought
gifts beyond measure, and continue to, even as the road seems to narrow.
I try to remember that all I have to do is the next thing, to the best of my
ability. There is so much I have no control over - and so much that I do.
Keeping that straight and accepting things as they are keeps things manageable.
Anyway... Timburr, hope Jasper got fixed on our dime, and hope the rest of you
stay well, clean, sober and happy.
Might be a while before I drop another update, but feel free to pop into my
mailbox any time.
Best,
Steve
F.H.
Hi Steve. Hang in there.
mikewestvale
Your dedication is much admired and prayers to you and yours go out.
Charlie M. 1958
> I remember that throughout my life, every period of major change and
> uncertainty has brought something good along with it.
>
Hey, Steve... I hope you don't mind. I edited your long post, leaving
just the important parts above. :-)
Sharx35
"nipntuk" <car...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:vNednWNwbMBUHZTW...@forethought.net...
Steve, you really have to write a book...if you ever find the time, about
your life in sobriety. When do you ever manage to find time to feel sorry
for yourself? Probably very seldom. Any more trips planned for Mexico?
Charlie L.
> On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:44:16 -0600, Chronocidal Charlie
> <c...@chronocidal-charlie.me> wrote:
>
>> Since discovering, stumbling on, being directed to, ARAA, by what
>> ever means you arrived here or how ever you got here...
>>
>> What is the longest period ARAA has been "Out of your sight, out of
>> your mind." and *not* a *part* of your life in some or any
>> respect...
>
>
> Weeks on end for me, at this point, though "part* of my life" is open
> to interpretation. I keep my subscription, and every so often go in
> to mark the threads read - and here and there read a few select
> posts.
Ah HAH! Thoughts I been smelen un olor persistente de un visitante en la
oscuridad que huele ligeramente de las bolsas de sordidez when I comes
in to open up ARAA each day. ;-)
I know, from my own experience of being a primary provider of care, for
what ever reason, with my own loved ones who came to be incapable of
taking care of themselves, or being charged with the care of them prior
to their coming of age or competency to do so, that it is damn near, if
not impossible to do it, *unconditionally* *constantly* and
*continuosly* with no relief in sight, with out creeping or sneaking
feelings of "this I resent, or my time could be better spent" come
crawling up on me. Not so naive as to suspect that you are not cognizant
of the little hints of human that seemingly all of us short of saint may
conceivably allow to crawl up and bite us on our butts.
Sheesh! I can even start to feel that way about this *feeling* I'm
sometime capable of getting by gitten to thinking I'm Gawd's appointed
primary provider of care, for what ever reason, to this, *MY* beloved
ARAA Newsgroup which sometime seems to come to be incapable of taking
care of it's self, or having been charged with the care of it prior to
its coming of age or competency to do so, that it is damn near, if not
impossible to do it, *unconditionally* around the clock, constantly,
with out creeping or sneaking feelings of "I resent, or my time could be
better spent" come crawling up on or from within me. ;-)
I'm sure there is no one in the world who can care for Mr. L. in the
manner you do and have done all these years, but can you find some one
you trust who is willing and capable of spelling you on occasion so you
can go to the store for OJ worry free and just enjoy the pleasure of
going out unencumbered for it? ;-)
> This has made it tough to give my dad the attention he really needs,
> so I've had to rely more on the services of his assisted living to
> manage some of the details of his care. He just came through a bad
> round of pneumonia that had him on a ventilator in the ICU at one
> point, and then weeks of skilled care to get him well enough to go
> home....
See above.
> Meanwhile my Step brother, who has advancing cancer bailed on his
> wife and his treatments, and went to Nashville to live with a nurse
> and undertake an experimental program that likely won't save him - he
> could, in fact, be getting nothing but placebos in the clinical
> trials he's in.
See above.
> While all this stuff spins, Mr. D. and Mr. E. are doing well - better
> than ever in fact - though the administrative people who make all
> the big decisions for them (and pretend to uphold their state of
> choice all the while) watch us with a wary eye, ready to move someone
> out of here if it looks like life might be too much for me to
> handle. That shoe seems ever-ready to drop, which adds to the sense
> that everything is tenuous and fraught - yet I try to stay grounded
> in a few simple ideas, which help me not to be overwhelmed.
Someone will move or be moved out of there eventually, Steve,
regardless, be it life or death, your decision or that of another
greater or higher power.
Sheesh! I dunno Steve, I know not what else to say, so I gonna quote
thet despicable Big Book. ;-)
In 1 Corinthians 9:16�23, Paul says: "I have become all things to all
people...to the Jew, I became as a Jew...to those under the law...as one
under the law...to those outside the law, I became as one outside the
law...to the weak, I became weak..."
> I remember that throughout my life, every period of major change and
> uncertainty has brought something good along with it. I try to be
> mindful that where we are right now is a matter of the choices I've
> made with open eyes along the way, and that we are fulfilling the
> promises of a lifetime. Those promises have brought gifts beyond
> measure, and continue to, even as the road seems to narrow. I try to
> remember that all I have to do is the next thing, to the best of my
> ability. There is so much I have no control over - and so much that I
> do. Keeping that straight and accepting things as they are keeps
> things manageable.
I opened up my news reader and looked into ARAA this morning of habit or
what's left of a once daily discipline I've been becoming more and more
lax on doing daily recently due to a feeling of what's the fscken use,
nutten there but mostly irrelevant quips & exchanges. ;-)
Thank you for showing up. I needed to find you here.
> Anyway... Timburr, hope Jasper got fixed on our dime, and hope the
> rest of you stay well, clean, sober and happy.
We a tryen, but it soooooooooo hard to do, not having you. ;-)
> Might be a while before I drop another update,
Knock off the coquettish shite will ya. ;-)
CC
mgh
Hang in there Steve.
Wishing you the best in all ways.
:)
Here's the boy sleepin with my Chloe yesterday and a few pics from the
weekend.
www.mikehammett.com/images/mgh/1109/index.htm
I can vouch for the fact that Jasper is 100%
I told 'em he's stayin here! :)
peace
mgh
nipntuk
Charlie L. wrote:
>
> I'm sure there is no one in the world who can care for Mr. L. in the
> manner you do and have done all these years, but can you find some one
> you trust who is willing and capable of spelling you on occasion so you
> can go to the store for OJ worry free and just enjoy the pleasure of
> going out unencumbered for it? ;-)
Working on that piece, Charlie - trying to get Deb certified ASAP, and getting a
couple of nearby providers lined up for short relief stints...
> I opened up my news reader and looked into ARAA this morning of habit or
> what's left of a once daily discipline I've been becoming more and more
> lax on doing daily recently due to a feeling of what's the fscken use,
> nutten there but mostly irrelevant quips & exchanges. ;-)
Well, the 'irrelevant quips' bit was entirely a self-reference :-)
> Thank you for showing up. I needed to find you here.
YW Charlie.