RICHH: WILDSIDE
RICHH
who meant a lot to me this past year--Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg.
From his humble beginnings in a well-to-do Boston neighborhood to
his current status as "Vanilla Ice's favorite rapper", Mark did it
all in '91. I think the best way to explore Mark's character is
through his own words, those delicious, vital, vibrant words which
are at the very core of Mark Wahlberg.
"Wildside", by Marky Mark and the funky bunch.
The words that follow are his. My thoughts will appear in
these thingees: <>, camera shots in parentheses.
Act 1: Annie
Aw yih
(cut to burning American flag) home of the free, HA <oh, that sneer
of his--what it does to me.>
(walking down a dark street with four black guys[The Funky Bunch.]
<That sneer of his, you just know that Mark *knows* these streets
inside and out. It's clear. The boy is *DOWN*!!> behind)
Lemme introduce y'all to the Wildside. <Please do, you stupid
fuck.>
(sitting atop bleachers, no shirt, white towel<?!> draped over
shoulder, legs spread in a come-hither fashion, watching four
cheerleaders practicing)
Annie was a high school cheerleader <all right>
Pom-poms and bobby-sox no girl was sweeter <Jesse Jaymes gets the
credit for this rhyme in "Shake it like a white girl">
Come prom time everybody was on the line <naturally>
All the fellas singing nickel and dime <This line, I don't know, it
just works for me. Call me crazy, but it does.>
Tales about love and lust and trust <internal rhyme, a bit
o'assonance. Go for it, Mark, wow us all.> (rises, begins walk
down bleacher steps)
But annie took it all in stride <And a healthy stride at that.>
Cause deep inside <here comes a nasty couple of lines>
Annie had aspirations
Besides that, she had ex pec tations <With this rhyme(?), Mark
makes it pretty clear that he is no Donnie.>
(cut to Annie, peering under bleachers. Outstretched hand dumps
into hers a few vials of crack and a pair of dice.{!! Wonder if
<Marky directed the video as well?>)
Wanted to be a chemiCAL engineer <And why not?! 780-Verbal 800-
Math>
making 50 to 55 thousand a year <Chump change to the Markster.>
her first year of college was a SUCcess. <If a word just doesn't
want to fit, Mark will stomp on it till it does.>
But along comes Billy, possessed and obsessed <More internal
rhymes. Think Mark read Dylan Thomas? Do not go gentle--into:
the WildSide. Huh!>
He took Annie on a fatal date (cut to smoky beaker of chemicals)
and showed her things that made her heartbeat accelerate
<Mapplethorpe photos, visions of the future in which Mark Wahlberg
is studied in 11th grade English classes, What? You gotta be more
specific, Mark. God is in these details. But hey, like I need to
tell *you* that.>
Annie took a hit--read two short breaths<interesting construction
for a twit--let's call it a fluke> (beaker topples over, breaks!!)
One for life the last for death<Damn! She did her hits in the
wrong order! Poor kid.>
Now she's gone from a battle Victorian <!!!!True, it's utterly
meaningless here, but it sets up a nifty rhyme, reminiscent of no
one so much as Lord Byron's Don Juan.>
Ended up become a topic for a story in <See?>
Washed-up dreams, shattered pride
All because Annie chose to walk on the Wildside.<That'll teach her.
Leave walks on the Wildside to people that *know* the Wildside--
read, the Wahlbergs> Ha!
(cut to Marky Mark and his bunch walking through cemetery to place
flowers on Annie's grave.) <And he *cares*>
(Girls sing)
(wailing sax solo)
(the rain it falls)
Act 2: Ron
Ron had enough of being broke every day <who wouldn't?>
Saying to himself there's gotta be a better way <Shoulda learned to
play them drums>
Cause 9 to 5 wasn't worth the headaches <He's right. There's no
reason to watch this movie more than once, although that scene
where they're all stoned holds up pretty well.> (cut to a
frustrated Ron in car, wiping his frustrated brow)
So run figured out a faster way to make
Money<Is he gonna cut an album?> (cut to a hand placing gun into
money-filled briefcase)
Before you know it he's a rich man <It's just *that* easy. Onna
Wildside. Huh!>
Gold on every finger of his hand. <If you got it...>
A brand new BMW, a condo, <Watch the economy of these two lines>
Ron ended up a john doe.<See? Just that easily, Ron's dead.>
A body was found but never claimed, <It's a hardknock life...>
Full of bulletholes with nothing to blame <My guess would be that
those bulletholes had *something* to do with it.>
Ron became another victim of homicide (cut to flat line on the
heart monitor)
Because he chose to walk on the Wildside. (cut to Marky Mark, now
with that sneer.) HA!
(Girls sing...)
(Mark and friends walk through cemetery, ambulance drives off)
Act 3: Charles
Charles had everything going for him <He's a New Kid on the
Block??>
A top-paying job, a good wife, a baby boy on the way<Oh, I see
now.> (Charles places hand on pregnant wife's abdomen) any day
A gentleman attitude was all he displayed<??!! Mark can do what he
likes with the language. He's an artist, dig?>
Carol was the wife he loved and adored <Watch this next rhyme>
Her family and friends treated him like an ambassador <ouch, that
one hurt.>
One night on the other side of town <The WildSide. Huh!>
A police dispatcher picked up a weird sound <Weird?>
Charles on the car phone asking for help <A guy on 911 asking for
help. Go figure. That's just weird. Too weird. Ain't no way to
'splain it but weird. It's just weird.>
Claiming a burglar shot his wife AND himself. <Watch this next
rhyme>
Charles' wife lay slumped Over
Dreams corrupt and a young life over <A perfect match! 5 points.>
Extensive searches throughout the projects <Watch this bit.>
Put a lot of people through misery and wreck<Huh??!!>
Everyone a suspect till someone was found <Except Mark. He had an
alibi. He was in the library, reading Blake: O Rose, you lookin'
sick. Onna Wildside. Huh!>
Interrogated cause his skin was brown <All right, so "Questioned"
might have worked better, leave the kid be: I like "interrogated".>
Then there was Bennet, guilty until proven so <Odd construction
that.>
But soon as the case started moving slow (cut to Mark behind bars
!!?? Mark is down, inside. And, onna Wildside. Huh!)
Whaddayaknow--sure as the seagull is web-toed <Excuse me. Metaphor
police. Yeah, you got a permit for that simile? Thought so. I'm
gonna have to see your poetic license, you stupid fuck>
Charles was the culprit <Who woulda guessed?>
The whole thing was an insurance scam <The bastard!>
Charles and his brother came up with a plan <My favorite rhyme of
the year coming up, watch for it>
Kill Carol, collect the big checks<Next line>
Blame it on a black man. What the heck?! <See the guard dog, do he
bite?! C I L L Kill my landlord.>
Just before the story was known
Charles had a feeling his cover was blown. (cut to man falling from
bridge)
So he jumped off a bridge--committed suicide <My guess is he heard
"Good Vibrations" on MTV>
And this is how it ends, on the Wildside. <Yup.>
(Mark and friends move through cemetery. Girls sing. Rain
falls. Sax wails. Mark tosses flowers on Carol's grave)
Act 5: Tiffany, saddest of all
Little Tiffany, only thirteen (cut to boy on tire-swing)
Came to the city--place of big dreams<Well, it kinda sorta works>
(Girl plays hopscotch)
Visit her family and friends for the summertime
Sitting on a mailbox watching the boys climb
Trees, and the girls play hopscotch
So far, her vacation was TOPnotch
Out of the blue--a Mercedes at top speed
Gangbangers chasing
robbers on a stampede (cut to guns being fired from a moving car)
Quick as a blink shots rang out <Hooray--the similie holds up>
And a hail of bullets zipped through the crowd (little girl falls
over backwards) <Watch this next bit>
One hit Tiffany--and instantly she died
Innocently, on the Wildside. <Instantly, innocently! Half-rhymes,
slant-rhymes, Dylan Thomas don't mean shit now!>
(flowers for Tiff. Girls still sing. Sax still plays. Mark is
back on the streets.)
RICHH
Matthew E Childs
Vanilla ice look alike bullshit.
I saw this idiot on Arsenio. Imagine that. Just thought I'd drop a note
saying AMEN. That piece of shit won't be around long with his weak raps
and sorry cuts. Ah another Rapper who thinks that if he is a good dancer
that he will get over. When will they learn.
How does this guy look at himself in the mirror. He should have just become
a new kid on the block and let his career end that way. Marky Mark if you
could read I would hope you see this. YOU SUCK... GET OUT NOW.
"Someday rap will be real nice, no Ice Cube, just Vanilla Ice."
Ice Cube
Us
Chill
--
* Matt Childs () Famous Last Words: *
* Iowa State University () You mean I have to get *
* chi...@iastate.edu () good grades to stay? *
* Unix Wizard (in training) () *
Matthew E Childs
>In article <chilly.6...@vincent1.iastate.edu> chi...@iastate.edu (Matthew E Childs) writes:
>>"Someday rap will be real nice, no Ice Cube, just Vanilla Ice."
>>Ice Cube
>>Us
> I don't mean to be picky but this is a pretty ugly misquote.
>"Pretty soon hip hop won't be so nice, no Ice Cube, just Vanilla Ice."
>Ice Cube
>Us
> (Though I must say it would be cool if he were to include lyrics with
>his CDs. When Newsweek quotes him they misspell "nigga". :) )
>--
> Phillip Andrew Rzewski Internet: kut...@acm.rpi.edu
> "Stand up to the blow that fate has struck upon you." - A.G. Banks
>--
> Phillip Andrew Rzewski Internet: kut...@acm.rpi.edu
> "Stand up to the blow that fate has struck upon you." - A.G. Banks
Sorry. Your right. And the real crime is that the tape waas in the player
and I was too lazy to listen to it again. I like that line, you think that I
would have been a little more on the ball. I think that it did get the point
across though. Anyway according to Cube he is used to getting misquoted. :)
Thanks for the pointer....
Chill
(Matt Childs)
chi...@iastate.edu
"And all ya'll dope dealers, your as bad as the police cause ya kill us."
Ice Cube
Us
(Damn that should be right)
N.W.A. deserved "No Vaseline." Cube got dissed and NWA is soft anyway. Their
new album sounds like a new jack ripoff of the Too Live Crew.
--Matt Childs
Phillip Rzewski
>Ice Cube
>Us
I don't mean to be picky but this is a pretty ugly misquote.
"Pretty soon hip hop won't be so nice, no Ice Cube, just Vanilla Ice."
Ice Cube
Us
(Though I must say it would be cool if he were to include lyrics with
None of ya Bizness
$(Damn that should be right)
$N.W.A. deserved "No Vaseline." Cube got dissed and NWA is soft anyway. Their
$new album sounds like a new jack ripoff of the Too Live Crew.
Oh hell yeah I've played that track over and over. NWA claims they're some
real niggaz. They lost it after _Straight Outta Compton_. All they talk about
is killin and rapin, bitch this, ho that, nigga this, oh yes let's make sure to
dis Ice Cube every chance we get, wit our sorry sour grapes asses. In fact,
me and my fiancee were talkin about it, and we came to the conclusion that
even in _Compton_ Cube was the only one actually givin out any kinda message.
Eazy and Ren was talkin about how many bitches they had on their jocks. Hey
not to say that _Compton_ wasn't fonkay as hell! The shit was dope soundin
but them lyrixx...deeeamn they leave somethin to be desired and it only got
worse wit _Niggaz4Life_.
All I gots ta say is, Cube, keep on goin. You the only _real_ nigga. The
Niggaz4Life need to shut the fuck up and get a new ack.
Hotep.
--
"And for your gambling pleasures, you can lose that trick bitch that's wit ya,
almost, well, basically, anywhere!"
-Robin Lench
Malcolm Diallo Moore #-----o_______o--o-o-o-\ #
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--
Malcolm Diallo Moore #-----o_______o--o-o-o-\ #
Computer Information Services .___| |_| `'''''''| .___|
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mmo...@ux.acs.umn.edu | r--------------p |##|
Garry Moorer
for SOC anyway. "Ice Cube writes the lyrics that I say, hell to the niggaz
from CIA." That's one of the reasons he was salty, cuz both SOC and Eazy Duz
It sold beaucoop copies and he only made a few G's out the deal.
Plus, I thought that Nogs4Life had a couple decent tracks on it. Real Niggaz
Don't Die, Always..., Appetite.., Days of... But they do regress on most of
them, I gotta agree with that.
Btw, can someone hook me up with the scoop on the Ultramagnetics? Earlier
someone posted that the new album wasn't all that, but I heard "Make It Happen"
and that has to be one of the dopest jams I heard in ages. Peace!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Garry Moorer | "Y'all lucky I ain't the president,
NIGGA4LIFE | 'cause I'd push the fuckin button and
aga...@athena.mit.edu | get it over with." Bushwick Bill '91
"It's time to make the devil pay the piper."
Garry G, 1992 Wordmanpeacedude
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Richard Hancock
>N.W.A. deserved "No Vaseline." Cube got dissed and NWA is soft anyway. Their
Is their "new" album "Efil4seikoocoero" or is there yet another soft CD out?
Richard.
Charles L Isbell
|In article <chilly.6...@vincent1.iastate.edu> chi...@iastate.edu (Matthew E Childs) writes:
|$N.W.A. deserved "No Vaseline." Cube got dissed and NWA is soft anyway. Their
|$new album sounds like a new jack ripoff of the Too Live Crew.
|Oh hell yeah I've played that track over and over. NWA claims they're some
|real niggaz. They lost it after _Straight Outta Compton_. All they talk about
|is killin and rapin, bitch this, ho that, nigga this, oh yes let's make sure to
|dis Ice Cube every chance we get, wit our sorry sour grapes asses. In fact,
|me and my fiancee were talkin about it, and we came to the conclusion that
|even in _Compton_ Cube was the only one actually givin out any kinda message.
|Eazy and Ren was talkin about how many bitches they had on their jocks. Hey
|not to say that _Compton_ wasn't fonkay as hell! The shit was dope soundin
|but them lyrixx...deeeamn they leave somethin to be desired and it only got
|worse wit _Niggaz4Life_.
That's what I'm sayin'!
Cube was the dope stuff on _Compton_ *and* _Eazy Duz It_. I think "No
Vaseline" was childish and beneath Cube, but, well, someone had to dis
them.
"Ice Cube write the rhymes that I say..."
-Eazy E
|All I gots ta say is, Cube, keep on goin. You the only _real_ nigga. The
|Niggaz4Life need to shut the fuck up and get a new ack.
Word-like.
--
Peace.
The King, in fact, tops the list with 1974's "Having Fun With
Elvis on Stage," a 40-minute collection of his stage banter.
"Elvis Presley made some truly horrible records that stand today
as vivid arguments against barbituates."
- J Guterman and O O'Donnell, authors of
The Worst Rock N Roll Records of All Time
------
Don't just adopt opinions | \/ | I am Charles Isbell, Homeboy from hell,
develop them. | /\ | living axiom and anonymous absolute ruler
------ of the cosmos.
------
Don't just adopt opinions | \/ | I am Charles Isbell, Homeboy from hell,
develop them. | /\ | living axiom and anonymous absolute ruler
------ of the cosmos.
Phillip Rzewski
>"Ice Cube write the rhymes that I say..."
> -Eazy E
I have seen a LOT of people make this reference and think it's real funny.
But what's TRULY interesting about it is if you look at the individual song
credits for SOC. You'll see that Ice Cube WROTE the song where Eazy makes this
statement. It's like the guy had no mind of his own. :)
WERLING
> Just got done reading your on the ball review of Marky Mark and all his
> Vanilla ice look alike bullshit.
Hey, he looks nothing like Vanilla Ice.
> I saw this idiot on Arsenio. Imagine that. Just thought I'd drop a note
> saying AMEN. That piece of shit won't be around long with his weak raps
> and sorry cuts. Ah another Rapper who thinks that if he is a good dancer
> that he will get over. When will they learn.
I believe the initial poster about this said he ain't no Donnie
Wahlberg. All this is irrelevent. Neither Wahlberg brother is worth
shit to the rap world. If Marky Mark wants to be immortal, he should
give Playgirl a call. Or something like that. He's a beautiful male,
but that's all he's good for.
--
Andrew Werling awer...@nmsu.edu