A Dennis Miller Quote
S11...@umrvma.umr.edu
to attend. Hence, I think I'll drown my sorrows by sharing a couple of my
favorite Dennis Miller quotes:
(some of these are condensed----please forgive)
"The first six months of many relationships is a big penis-stress-test. You
know, you look down, it's in a Black and Decker workmate...`Here honey does
that hurt?'...`Yeah, honey, that hurts alot, so lets put the belt sander
AWAY ! because it really does hurt alot.'"
"I went clothes shopping today at the K-Mart. I think when i say K-Mart we're
all hip to the fact that I'm talking style central. I picked up a couple of
short sleeve suits....a little Century 21 blazer for the holidays, you know.
The thing I hate about these cheap clothing stores is they have these two-for-
one sales... Hey folks, two of shit is SHIT! If they really want to fuck you
they'll give your three of these things. Yeah, that's all I need is three
lime green leisure suits, with lapelles shaped like a fucking hangglider."
"I went to the 7-11 today and the person in front of me ordered a "Big Gulp."
Now do I need 32 ounces of any fluid? This drink has a fucking undertoe.
Whaddaya dock your jet ski in this thing or what? I mean who do they think is
that thirsty? Now they've come out with the Super Big Gulp. I can imagine
they must back a tanker up to your mouth, jam a nozzle down your throat, and
start irrigating you like some Chattahoochie Canal project or something."
These were all in Dennis Miller's album, "The Off-White Album" I recommend
it highly.
483...@xavier.xu.edu
I still think that the INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes gag is
an all time classic!!! (Like if you're on the Champs Eleesay you're
really gonna eat at this shithole.) That and the gag about getting
stuck on the dance floor next to the guy that has to act out the
lyrics to the song ("ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley
low enough" "hey asshole, ain't no fuckin' dance floor wide enough")
D.M. is a classic, although the recent car commercials were a bit
of a let down. (next, I'm doin time in a minivan!)
