Quotes for Intro to Computers Course
Lisa Taylor Allison
- By computer experts
- By science fiction writers and futurists from days goneby
- About future trends
- References to future technology in old movies and tv shows
--
Lisa Taylor Allison
li...@lisataylor.com
Daniel P. B. Smith
Lisa Taylor Allison <li...@lisataylor.com> wrote:
>Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users? Some ideas:
>
>- By computer experts
>- By science fiction writers and futurists from days goneby
>- About future trends
>- References to future technology in old movies and tv shows
I still think this is the most prescient thing H. G. Wells ever wrote:
This phonographic machine was the size and shape of a Dutch
clock... and where the clock would have been was the mouth of a
trumpet. When it had news the trumpet gobbled like a turkey,
"Galloop, galloop," and then brayed out its message as, let us
say, a turkey might bray. It would tell Mwres in full, rich,
throaty tones about the overnight accidents to the omnibus flying-
machines that plied around the world, the latest arrivals at the
fashionable resorts in Tibet, and of all the great monopolist
meetings of the day before, while he was dressing. If Mwres did not
like hearing what it said, he had only to touch a stud, and it would
choke a little and talk about something else.
--H. G. Wells, "A Story of the Days to COme"
--
Daniel P. B. Smith
dpbs...@world.std.com
Ed C
>
> Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users? Some ideas:
>
> - By computer experts
> - By science fiction writers and futurists from days goneby
> - About future trends
> - References to future technology in old movies and tv shows
Here's a few quips:
THe real danger is not that machines will begin to think like men, but
that men will begin to think like machines-Sydney Harris
A computer is almost human, except that it never blames its mistakes on
other computers.
The computer of today is remarkably human, except that it hasn't learned
yet how to stop for coffee breaks.
The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
Computers are fantastic: in a few minutes, they can make a mistake so
great it would take many men many months to equal it.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems except the things in this
world that don't add up.
I think there is a world market for about 5 computers-Thomas Watson,
former IBM chairman in a 1943 quote.
Ed :)
Barry Fetter
>Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users? Some ideas:
784 If the automobile had followed the same development as the
computer a Rolls Royce would today cost $100, get a
million miles per gallon and explode once a year killing
everybody inside.
Robert X. Cringeley
Infoworld
* * * from "Better Business Quotations"
* * * Commercial Quotation Program for Windows 95/98/NT
* * * Full Featured: Add, Edit, Delete, Import, Export and More...
-> -> Information: http://www.quotations.com/programs.htm
Ray Lotto
mcr...@quotations.com (Barry Fetter) wrote:
>"Lisa Taylor Allison" <li...@lisataylor.com> wrote:
>
>>Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users?
I'm sorry Dave, I just can't do that... I think you
know why just as well as I do.
-- HAL 9000 (_2001: A Space Odyssey_)
Ray Lotto
mcr...@quotations.com (Barry Fetter) wrote:
>"Lisa Taylor Allison" <li...@lisataylor.com> wrote:
>
>>Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users?
This conversation can no longer serve any useful
purpose. Goodbye, Dave.
I know I've been acting a little strange lately,
but I can say with complete confidence that things
are all right now.
You don't mind talking about it, do you Dave?
I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect
me... and although you took very thorough precautions
against my hearing you, I could read your lips.
I am confident that I am putting myself to the
fullest possible use -- which is all that can
be asked of any conscious entity.
Paul Dussault
Lisa Taylor Allison a écrit dans le message <36d9...@news.vphos.net>...
>Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users? Some ideas:
To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Paul Ehrlich, The Farmer's Almanach, 1978
Computers are useless. They only give answers.
Pablo Picasso
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they
make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
Andy Rooney
It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.
What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
Alan Perlis
Sorry for the missing references.
Paul Dussault
paul...@mediom.qc.ca
Martin Julian DeMello
: Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they
: make it easier to do don't need to be done.
: Andy Rooney
: It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.
: What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
: thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
: Alan Perlis
"The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony number 9."
-- Erwin Dieterich
--
Martin DeMello
Sam Brookes
Q. Which is the best software ?
A. The software you know how to use !
--
Sam
To Email me change 'nospam' to 'sambo'
snark^
warbled on about "Quotes for Intro to Computers Course" in a.q <<=
> Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users? Some ideas:
>
> - By computer experts
> - By science fiction writers and futurists from days goneby
> - About future trends
> - References to future technology in old movies and tv shows
Best one I've seen was in PC Format magazine. They had a picture of a
gorgeous blonde kissing the monitor of a computer that was off with the
caption underneath reading, "Please note that the machine isn't even
remotely turned on." The article was about how some certain kinds of people
find computers oh-so sexy I think...
All the following is from my 'techno' tagfile (so they're all less than 70
characters) - they're not exactly quotes but they amount to 5 years of
collecting tagline humour (some of them are very old and refer to out of
date hardware but they can easily be updated).
--
It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!
**Error**, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
One if by LAN, two if by C.
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Multi-tasking - screwing up several things at once.
Whoever decided to limit taglines to a single line can just kiss my
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!
Documentation - The worst part of programming.
Not tonight, dear. I have a modem.
RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.
New Mail not found. Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)
Error #0001: COSMOS.CFG Corrupt. Reboot Universe? (Y/N):
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Girlfriend pregnant: (A)bort, (M)arry, (I)gnore ?
Error with int21h call: (A)bort (R)etry or (C)offee
Greetings earthlet, I'm from the planet Mail. Take me to your reader.
"And even the mighty DX2 will slow to the 2400." - Book of Modemus.
In DoubleSpace no one can hear you scream....
Keyboard not found, THINK F1 to continue.
Put your hard drive to your ear. Can you hear the C:\>?
Unspeakable error in module Cthulhu at address R'lyeh.
OS/2: Logic, not magic.
How much C could a C++ if a C+ could +C ?
Welcome to hell -- here's your copy of Windows NT
Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Windows 95 main feature: 'PLUG and PRAY'
Apple (c) 1767, Sir Isaac Newton
PKZIP OLDKITBAG.ZIP C:\TROUBLES\*.*
Of course Windows can multi-tas++4a*>Hu+a@ NO CARRIER
ERROR: Unable to come up with a new tagline
Error #216: Tagline dispenser temporariliy out of order.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Press any key to arm, release key to detonate.
Old Virus Detected, Contact Hacker For Update (Y/N)
Do bl Sp ce is a v ry saf me hod of driv compr s ion
CCITT- Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
Click ... click ... click ... damn, out of taglines!
Macintosh: Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
Error:014 - Nonexistent error. This cannot really be happening.
File not found: Loading something that looks similar...
BREAKFAST.COM HALTED......CEREAL PORT NOT RESPONDING..
Edit, Save, Exit, Assemble, Link, Run, Curse, [Ctrl+Alt+Del], Edit,...
DOS Tip #17: Add the DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS line to your CONFIG.SYS.
Error finding COLD BEER. User not loaded.
Windows 95 will be released when 3.1 is finished loading.
WIN.INI not found. Eat DOS, mother#$%&*@!
DOS Error: (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
Cranial Input Error: Line Status Register 02
(BEERWARE) If it works, buy yourself a beer!
586, 32MB 40ns RAM, 4GB 2ms HD, now Windows will beat DOS
Hidden DOS secret #794: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Keyboard: Device used to enter errors into the computer.
Monitor: device use to display users incompetance.
SET RESTARTOBJECTS=DONTRESTARTTHEONETHATCRASHEDOKAY?
Debugging: removing bugs from software. Programming: putting them in.
To HELL with Windows 95! - Sorry, no returns allowed ...
Well, it beeped twice and said "Countdown initiated." Is that bad?
Error 216: Tagline out of paper.
Error 217: Tagline out of humour.
"Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!" Another parroty error!
Path=DeskDrawer;Closet;BoxUnderBed;Bookshelf;GarbageCan;
Error: No error(s) found?!! - (A)bort, (R)etry, (C)reate?
ZModem: Big BITS, Nice Baud, Tight ASCII
Your crt is 2 loud. Turn it down!
IF WINDOWS$="Useful" THEN HELL$<32F
REALITY.SYS corrupted. Cannot recover universe.
(Blink)(Blink) Simulated ANSI Graphics (Blink)(Blink)
PATH=C:\WINDOWS;C:\WINDOWS\RUN\APPS;C:\APPS\CRASH!
Windows 95 Installed - Press your luck to continue...
WOMAN.ZIP - Great Program. No Docs, but fun to unZIP.
ASCII, and you shall recievii.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (U)se the Force.
Pseudo-intellectualism detected. (R)oll on Floor Laughing (D)elete?
Multitasking: Locking up more than 1 app @ a time.
Ritz cracker found in drive A: Delete children? Y/N
Sorry! This virus requires Windows 95!
A)bort R)etry G)et a gun and kill it.
User Error: Replace user, hit any key to continue.
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
I'm too sexy for my modem, too sexy fo#l&w^$%&?- NO CARRIER
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (S)lap nearest innocent bystander.
Fh|$ fagL|ne made fGfm GScYcLed ac|| chaGacfSG$
#include<"Space.is.big.really.really.big.guys.h">
#include<"Shock.and.horror.from.audience.at.unsexy.starship.design.h">
The BEST Amiga multitasking: As a paperweight AND a doorstop.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
FidoBASIC. WHILE newmail=0:GOSUB screamandyell:WEND
I typed `FORMAT COM1' and it killed a telephone operator.
Modem sex begins with a handshake!
Insert dynamite in drive B: light fuse when ready...
" . . . but by the content of our (ascii) character[s]."
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
Memory Manager: Something I need more than my computer.
MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine.
$ not found: A)bort, R)efinance, D)eclare bankruptcy.
ZIP me!... PAK me!... make me compress my bits!.... ARJ!!
User - a technical term used by computer pros. See idiot.
Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN..Eat Microsoft Mouse instead? Y/N _
System halted -- Press any key to do nothing
I have a 14.400 bps modem and 1.5 bps fingers.
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
Philosophical error: demonstrate the existence of a key to continue.
Save paper......send it by modem
BRAIN.COM file closed. (A)rgue (R)etry (F)orget It
DIVORCE = system("echo y | erase \\wife\\*.*" );
Format Disk Drive (Y/y)
Got arrested for going 14400 in a 2400 zone.
ERROR #267 - Lost vocabulary: Press that small thingy to keep going.
I hope no one lifts the phone whi#@)*&^ -NO CARRIER-
SysOp not available. This is an OFF-LINE mail reader, dummy.
...Terminate changed my life..... I used it to download Telix.....
BBS History #12: "Log on" meant stoking the boilers.
Hark! What Email from yonder modem breaks?
Australian DOS prompt: EH?\>
High message: 943432. Message you last read: 59.
Fido hungry. Fido eat messages. Bad Fido.
<This Tagline has been removed by NZ Customs>
Whips and chains? Sorry, that's a hardware problem.
Reader not found..., please notify tagline.
Warning! COLDBEER.CAN found, programmer probably loaded.
AT&M0&GETMAIL&READMAIL&REPLY&STEALTAGLINES
VirusScan: "Windows 95 found - Remove (Y,n)?"
NO CARRIER...but I've got 2 destroyers and a frigate
Press SPACEBAR once to quit or twice to save changes
ERROR 96......Dead mouse in Drive
2nd Law of Hacking: first in, first out. (F)
At least my XT can *divide*!
90% of PC problems are between the keyboard and the chair...
640K = 4480K in dog bytes.
(A)bort (R)etry (T)hermonuclear Re-education
Error: CPU bored. (A)bort, (P)lay game, (R)un amok
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
Insufficient memory: add 4 megs and try again.
File Not Found: Nobody leave the room...
I tried to use an internal modem but it hurts when I walk.
This is a test of the automatic tagline-stealing system
This message printed on 100% recycleable electrons.
Bad command or file name. BAD! Go sit in the corner.
LSD makes your CGA monitor display 16.7 million colors.
Fingers not found - Pound head on keyboard to continue.
PCMCIA: People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms
I challenge you to a tagline duel.
IF original_works THEN don't_upgrade ENDIF
C:\PROGRAMS\FAULTY\TRASH\SICKJOKE\WINDOWS>_
code code code code eat code code code sleep code code...
DEFINITION: BASIC- Beginner's All-purpose Sloppy Instruction Code.
Dont drop that carrier on my.. CLUNK, OWWW!
The Universe V1.00: Unregistered Evaluation Copy.
Docs? Why would I want to look at the Docs. Nurses are better :)
<thump> <thump> <thump> Is this tagline thing turned on?
That lightning sounds awfully clo#!Z^#.1...NO CARRIER
I don't like taglines...but I have over 3 million of them...
Windows: proof that Microsoft has a roomful of monkeys with keyboards.
I/O I/O IT'S WRITE TO DISK I GO I/O I/O.
Computer technology: If you understand it, it's obsolete.
OS/2 = Half an Operating System?
Speed Kills - Use Windows 95!
Caches to caches, DOS to DOS...
Happiness is a hard disk.
I'm sorry, Dave. I can't allow you to exit to DOS. - Windows 9000. __
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.
You can have my PGP passphrase when you prise it from my cold dead brain
ERROR 23AF: Sector not found; Search behind couch?
Drive not ready E: (R)etry (G)o to Impulse (C)all Geordi
Computer programmers wanted - Some assembly required.
Games this games that. Why don't we have windows this and windows that.
Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key
Apples? Apricots? This industry is full of Fruits!
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Press <Ctrl-Alt-Del> now to access the pirate software.
i *DId* rEaD tHE DoCS; ThaT'S WHy I'm conFuSeD!
Network management is like trying to herd cats...
It's not a bug, it's a hidden and seldom used feature.
FILES=1 BUFFERS=0 FCBS=SAYWHAT? BREAK=GIMME
Help! I'm trapped at 0D1C:01DA.
You can tell a real programmer by the keyboard dents in his forehead
General failure reading drive A: Please remove cat.
Chain Tagline! Now stolen [21] Times
Mac screen message: "Like, dude, something went wrong."
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
Windows95 - a Pentium to XT Conversion Kit.
80486 100Mhz. Don't you smell something burning?
Unknown Error on Unknown Device for Unexplainable Reason.
Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
Save, exit, assemble, link, run, !#$%#&%*, ctrl+alt+del.
HHeellpp.. II''mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff--dduupplleexx.
I never play CONFIG.SYS or AUTOEXEC.BAT so I deleted them!
Windows NT = Windows? No Thanks!
Valves warming, please wait.....
ERROR 75FF: MSDOS.SYS not found. Buy UNIX?
Windows Error: 103 - Windows detected running on system
Joystick: a Peripheral used by consenting Adults.
Enter FORMAT C: to continue.
WinError #9: Computer too cheap. Spend $20,000 and try again.
General failure reading drive A: Please remove your fist.
Real programmers use punched cards.
Drag me, drop me, make me feel like an object!
/* I can C(++) clearly now the pascal has gone */
if ( original_ver == OK ) don't_upgrade();
How many babies can a motherboard have?
Doing 5-10 for swiping taglines.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
FidoBASIC. IF bbsline=engaged THEN GOTO swearandcurse
"Hello World!" -- endprog, report: 15 Errors, 17 Warnings.
e|ae.~}++o~
ua?o<P...Just kidding, your modem's OK.
Modem: Deterrent to receiving wanted and unwanted calls.
Volume in drive A is too loud.
OPCODE: CBNC = Close, but no Cigar
And a great whirling and bashing of keys arose.
RPI Modems = (R)eally (P)oor (I)dea
Oops. My brain just hit another bad sector...
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng!!!
Condom not found ! (A)bort,(R)etry,(F)ind.
Type +++ ATH0 to continue...
--If at first you don't succeed, click undo.--
MODEM: What to do with tall weeds
C:\DOS\SYSTEM\OS2\UTILITIES\DOCS\HELP\WHERE\AM\I???
Hardware hackers DO IT with uncommon emitters into open collectors.
Calm down. It's only ones and zeros.
DISASSEMBLER: An unattended five year old child.
Don't hassle me! I've a printer and 2 floppy disk drives to feed.
Math Problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i) ]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
Help, I'm losing control! ... and shift-lock and restore...
Anybody with an IRQ higher than 5 should be able to figure it out!
SLOGAN FOR PENTIUM: Optimized for OS/1.997683
I retrofitted my car with a smaller steering wheel for my mouse driver
My modem has these "hang-ups" about my seeing other modems at work.
Compatible: Blows up a little later than Incompatible
<- Cloaked Tagline
Compile, run, curse. Recompile, rerun, recurse.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
void main() { crash (terribly); }
2B|~2B
Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.
Information Superhighway anagram #1: New Utopia? Horrifying sham.
Information Superhighway anagram #3: Oh-oh, wiring snafu: empty air.
Information Superhighway anagram #4: Oh, wormy infuriating phase.
Information Superhighway anagram #6: Waiting for any promise, huh?
Information Superhighway anagram #7: When forming, utopia's hairy.
Information Superhighway anagram #8: Hey, ignoramus - win profit? Ha!
Information Superhighway anagram #9: A rough whimper of insanity.
Don't anthropomorhise computers. They hate that.
Shakespearecomm...transmits up to 14,400 bard
Beware geeks bearing GIFs.
Shell to DOS... come in DOS... Do you copy?
For programmers, insomnia isn't a problem, it's a requirement.
DEFINITION: Language- A system of organizing and defining syntax errors.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)acrifice to random god?
Error Unpacking UFO.GIF: Picture not real.
As sex: Turbo Basic; premature ejaculation.
Pentium: FPU not found. Should I approximate? (Y/N)
My sysop can kick your sysop's as*#$*! *!@#$*$ NO CARRIER
I have these nude pictures of the Modera&)#*@(&#($*^^NO CARRIER
29a: the hexadecimal of the beast
WYTYSYDG - What You Thought You Saw, You Didn't Get.
STRING space corrupt? But I always use TAPE!
Operator Error - thump nearest operator to continue...
Spell chequers dew knot work write.
Thought (n). Obsolete, exact meaning unknown. See Computing.
Either he's dead, Jim, or my tricorder is running MS-DOS
DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
Laptops are popular because they can be used on the john.
A mind is a terrible thing to... OOOOH! Mail packets!
If you redo a batch file, does it become a son of a batch?
Compression ain't over 'til the FAT table sings
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing
10 PRINT "Waiter, There's a bug in my loop": GOTO 10
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Unable to close TROUSER.ZIP replace floppy and retry
5ź" floppy is not better than 3˝" hard.
I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
'Intel Inside' is a Government Warning Requied By Law.
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
Bits make bytes, but nibbles turn me on!
Keep playing with your floppy, you'll go blind.
WindowError:00D Window closed. Do not look out.
(A)bort (R)etry (P)retend it didn't happen
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
WindowError:008 Broken window. Watch for glass fragments.
Windows: Ultimate memory manager. It manages to use it all.
Basic computing #15: Do not insert toast into disk drive
Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone!
Online help tip #1: If you can read this you have a modem.
"Bad dog! Leave that wire alone...click...###@*##...NO TERRIER
C:\DOS. C:\DOS\RUN. C:DOS\RUN\AMOK.
Will the BBS gods seek vengeance for my blasphemey?
F1 not working, try ATDT111 for more help.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
'Keep the smoke inside.' -- 1st Rule of Electronics.
(A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore, (O)verthrow the System?
Error 19F: Out of taglines.
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
After three days without modeming, life becomes meaningless
(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (D)rop Carrier (K)ill Sysop
(A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore, (S)orry I Asked!
Backup not found: (P) Panic (Any Other Key) Panic.
But soft, what application through yonder window crashes?
ABORT: Drivel filter is compromised!
WinError #6: Attempt to run non-MicroSoft application.
Duplicate file name or file not found - Not sure which
C++ code. C++ code run. Run, code, run.... PLEASE!
Dogs crawl under gates, software under Windows.
Your copy of WOMAN.EXE not registered...some features are disabled!
Classified Tag Line-Please Enter Password:
Documentation the *best* part of prigramming. It compiles. :)
Error with OS: A)bort (R)etry (S)ue Micro$oft
For writing E-Mail to Penthouse Magazine - WORDPERVERT 5.
Computer math(?): 80486 + 100 = Pentium
Pentium: Life_TheUniverse_AndEverything = 41.999994287210545219201
---===*** Better Taglines Through Confiscation ***===---
Compliments of the Itty Bitty Machine Company.
Windows Error: 00F Unexplained error. Please tell us how it happened.
Beat me! Whip me! Make me return to 1200 baud!!
Tagline unfunny. Steal anyway? [Y/n]
HARDWARE: n. The part you kick.
Backup aborted: Please remove disk #92 and start over.
He who laughs last is at 300 baud.
A: Not Ready. Formatting C: while waiting...
>>Tagline moved to upper memory.<<
Always wait for V 3.2005a, Release C of a program.
Windows, icons, mouse and pointer = WIMP.
Famous Last Words #68: "Then we just clip this little wire here..."
I tąld yoą, "Neverątouch ąhe flopąy disk sąrface!"
Golfing versus Programming: Lawn time, no C.
Tennesee DOS: Ya'll reckon? (Yep/Nope)? _
Windows '95 = MacIntosh '84
Press: F1-Help F2-Extended Help F3-Give It Up
SACRILEG.OUS detected: Lightning bolt? (Y/N)
Error 34:- User aware of our taunts -- SYSTEM HALTED
Window Error:00D Window closed. Do not look out.
SYNTAX? Why not - They tax everything else!
My printer is Jamaican; it be jommin', mon.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (O)rder round of drinks
I'm a CompuVangelist. Have your files been saved?
Intel inside. Idiot outside.
Generic Tagline: [ ]Humorous [ ]Insightful [x]Stupid
Windows: From the people who brought you the 640K limit
Don't ask me.. I just toggle the switches...
ERROR: Mouse not found (Click to continue)
ERROR: Program too small to fit into memory.
He Who Hesitates has probably installed software before.
Have your modem call my modem and we'll do freq.
Have your modem call my modem and they'll do lunch!
And now, the latest score from Redmond: DOS 7, Windows 95, Users 0.
Hiroshima 45, Chernobyl 86, Windows 95
MICROSOFT= Many Idiots Creating Really Odd Software On Full Trashcans!
Buy a 486-66 you can reboot faster....
Usenet: Infocalypse now!
Programmer, n. - An organism that metabolizes coffee into code.
FATAL ERROR*DATA LOST*HARDWARE DESTROYED*HAVE A NICE DAY
C:\WINDOWS\ C:\WINDOWS\RUN C:\PC\CRAWL\ ...........
Syntax (n.): You will now be taxed for your sins.
The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
Computers are useless. They only give answers. -- Pablo Picasso
The Sanity Inspector
to make a mistake as monumental as a single computer can make in one
thousandth of a second.
--_Dental Economics_, Nov. 1968
The first time a person gets a screwdriver, he's going to go
around the house tightening all the screws, whether they need it or
not. There's no reason a computer will not be similarly abused.
--Theodore K. Rabb, 1971
A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a
pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no
particular advantage.
--Robert S. McNamara, 1968
In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in
breakfast cereals. You'll throw them out because your house will be
lttered with them.
--Robert Lucky, _Newsweek_ June 4, 1979
"Lisa Taylor Allison" <li...@lisataylor.com> shared with usenet this
thought:
>Any good quotes to amuse my class of new computer users? Some ideas:
>
>- By computer experts
>- By science fiction writers and futurists from days goneby
>- About future trends
>- References to future technology in old movies and tv shows
>--
>Lisa Taylor Allison
>li...@lisataylor.com
>
>
>
--
bruce
The dignified don't even enter in the game.
--The Jam