Mentally ill Cheryl has a mind virus
. .
Rant: For many years I've been up against something that has been very
dark, ominous, elusive and hard to define. At one time I had
primitively viewed it as a kind of entity from the paranormal realm
that morphed by continually reappearing in various forms. Prior to
that interpretation, I remained in denial believing my not thinking
about its existence rendered it moot. Then it steadily grew to
continually present itself and I realized it wasn't going away but, in
fact, was growing stronger.
One of the reasons I started this blog was not only to vent, but to
have visitors bear witness to how the hidden monster manifests itself
in my life. No matter how hard I try to effectively deal with
disallowing access into my life to torment me, it still finds ways and
most always tries to pin blame on me as if I'm doing it to myself
(e.g., Wollman's blog title suggests I'm involved in a case against
myself).
I believe that Edmond Wollmann's (MerrillvsWollmann.com) appearance by
affixing himself with my name through various ID theft on the Internet
has been the ultimate manifestation of this nasty monster that I can
now more clearly define. Wollmann, infamous USNET abuser "Kook of the
Millennium" award winner, has hung out over the years in the USNET
paranormal forum among others and took on many identities there. He
has recently demonstrated being able to affect my life to the point of
influencing good people I had established connections with to forewarn
about him, to victimize me in some way. Whatever he wrote tcaused them
to take action that violated my First Amendment Rights to silence me.
This Mind Virus Morphs and Assumes Hosts
In a more scientific approach, what I've been dealing with is a form
of a mental illness best described as a mind virus that is transmitted
to others, often unconsciously. This virus is seeking to destroy me
and my life through its hosts and operates through fraud,
misrepresentation and lying that often warps reality by disregarding
facts. All this while influencing others to act on false information.
It most often is able to end friendships I've developed by driving
people away with its ugliness. On several occasions over the past
several years it has even been able to turn my friends against me, in
a hideous display of mean spirited backstabbing, while portraying
illusions. It especially seeks to cut off communications from my
friends and then distorts me by affixing the mind virus through fear.
How the Virus Quickly Spread like Wildfire
The mind virus moved very quickly in how it evolved as a spark to
flames after I closed this blog. I had attempted to end this under a
"dream" theme of putting it to sleep in a good way. In some ways
hilarious, other ways sad, a few people I had written about wanted to
give me a nightmare after I had ended this blog several months ago.
The extreme responses to a few of my articles were shocking to me.
Those who I had written about their articles, seemed totally unaware
of how strange their material was while attacking mine as such. It's
chain of communications was as follows:
1. Author/blogger Paul Davidson's false reality articles on Kristy
McNichol stalking him turned into attacks on me as a fan who had come
to her defense.
2. Nicoletta ****, who Davidson later contacted, posted a nasty
article in response to my article on her strange review on Yelp.com
about my former dermatologist who had recently died. I eventually got
her to take down her extremely nasty virulent article.
3. In the middle of resolving the above two issues, sex writer for the
S.F. Chronicle, Violet Blue, posted an email attributed to me that I
had sent her.
4. I was immediately notified via email by an Edmond Wollmann of the
post on Violet's blog who in turn rapidly spread the virus
exponentially by sending Violet Blue threats under my name in emails
in email remailer headings.
5. Wollmann than used all the above information to spread this virus
on-line like wildfire, accusing me of death threats on Google Groups
celebrity forums. He also utilized information from other hosts I had
revealed in the past, a roommate Joyce Cassells, and high school
classmate Sheila Rogers, who was heavily infected against me by her
brain surgeon father, Allen Rogers, MD way back in the 1980's. In
fact, some of Allen Rogers manuevers were similar to some Wollmann's
I've encountered. (For instance, in 1989 the doctor appeared at a fax
depot claiming to be an attorney for Rolling Stone Magazine and later
got me fired from a temp job prior to my being hired).
6. Wollmann has since totally taken over my identity on the Internet
making it appear I am something I am not in his blog. He uses his vile
virus to spread fear that has intimidated various people from
supporting me in the on-line community. He actually influenced two
people I had actual connections with to even take actions against me
in the appearance of burning me in alliance with him.
An Elusive Menace is Easier to Identify in the Virtual World
I think I can now encapsulate the nature of this hideous thing I've
been up against a long time. It operates through a false reality which
makes the Internet a great way to isolate its very nature of
existence. In fact, such a viral mind illness best reveals itself in
this medium. If I were a psychologist, I would be fascinated in
observing this kind of activity that previously wasn't available on
such a wide scale with such easy access.
The only way to deal with a monster of this immense proportion that
survives in its hosts is to find effective defenses, much like the
human immune system develops through antioxidant agents, such as the
law. That is what I will be seeking to do in my upcoming therapy
sessions, how I can reclaim my life and not allow the virus to
continue to chip away at me as it began around September of last year
to do.
After a two year rest working at a law firm, the mind virus really
started to reappear itself when UCSC Chancellor Denise Denton
committed suicide in September 2006 as stated in my recent article
I've witnessed the past few days how Edmond Wollmann has successfully
influenced a few people I had developed connections with, to remove my
music video that had nothing to do with him, and my lawful articles on
Zimbio.com about my experiences as his victim. I came to the
conclusion Wollmann was intimidating people on the Internet to lose
interest in me as a singer, even to take action against me that
mimicked backstabbing and burning. That is when I realized this is
similar to how this mind virus has been used against me in real life
through its various hosts.
Many Friendship Opportunities Lost Due to this Mind Virus
Sometimes the mind virus so accelerated fear, such as I have witnessed
Wollmann doing in accusing me of death threats against Violet Blue,
that it got former friends to turn against me based on lies and
misinformation. For instance, my former friends at Williams-Sonoma
Corporate were a lost cause after the mind virus hacked through the
tremendous peace I had experienced for a few months as an employee.
During that time I was living with one of the virus's primary hosts, a
Joyce Cassells, and somehow that virus entered into my employment
situation. (see WhatHappened1999.com for more info). All of this can
be very traumatizing to encounter, and eventually the mind virus host
wants the victim to think it's all their fault and they are to blame.
Emotional Trauma
It has taken me years to get over the emotional trauma of this
activity to intellectually absorb the meaning of how the mind virus
operates to harm my life. In fact, I have only been able to come to
this point by purging unwanted emotional influences that previously
worked against me. Emotions are good for some things but when dealing
with this kind of mind virus, they tend to become more of an unwanted
symptom of such victimization.
I've really had to develop a more intellectual approach in outlining
the causes of this virus, and how to limit its taking over like
wildfire. I'm not the kind of person willing to become friends with
the "hosts" of the virus and form alliances with them. I am opposed to
this ugly thing and am certainly not an anointed saint able to love
any of these people as if they are infected humans of this hideous
creature. The reason is simple: they have chosen not to address their
being infected and have allowed their virus to cause a lot of problems
for their victims. I therefore see no point in helping such people by
"loving" and "accepting" them unconditionally.
Only A Saint Can Love These Mind Virus Affected People
Instead of dealing with these virally infected people as a religious
saint that I clearly am not, nor have any future aspirations of being,
I choose to keep as far away as possible. If that means changing my
name and becoming part of the State of California's confidential
address program, I won't hesitate to disappear until I can reclaim my
life back from these little monsters who widely promote the mind virus
as their way of life. If that means complaining about a supervisor who
is mind infected as I did at Kirkland & Ellis, I will do so. (I have
no supervisor now which solves that problem). If it means filing
multiple complaints on Ripoff Report.com, or even a lawsuit, I will do
so. All of it is a process of claiming my identity; my life that this
mind virus wants to take over for itself.
Rave: One simply can't ignore this mind virus's existence. As it grows
with each passing day it's ignored, it takes over hosts to exploit
other victims it seeks to infect. I can't say I've never been
infected, but I've most always fought against such an infection and
recovered. Action must be taken to effectively deal with this problem
as well as a support mechanism developed among other mind virus aware
individuals.
Cheryl Merrill Sunday, July 22 2007