An INFP's struggle to find the right job (long)
Nightflight
I'm at a crossroads in my job search and I don't know where to go from
here. I'm an INFP female late 20s who is still searching for her place
in the work-world. It's hard to explain, but I am at a point in my life
where I want to do something that will be meaningful to me. I wish I
could find a job where 'getting paid' was simply the icing on the cake.
I've been somewhat of a late-bloomer in learning about myself and my
strengths, and I'm still trying to figure it out. Looking back, I've had
so many different kinds of jobs, everything from being in the Naval
Reserves (a friend convinced me to join with her), to being a nurse aide
for the elderly (feel at peace around older adults), to being a
receptionist/office worker (can type) to dealing with high volume public
(it was a library- which I thought would be quiet). Somehow I have ended
up in jobs where I was stressed out and miserable (except the nurse aide
job- but that was mostly physical work) Generally, in most of the jobs,
I have found it hard to relate to co-workers. I sometimes feel that I might
be happiest working alone or with a few people that I like a lot.
I realize that I might have been best suited to work in the arts (as a
musician, artist or writer), where the work itself would be meaningful
and allow me to be creative and go at my own pace. Unfortunately, I
never had the skills or sufficient interest to pursue any of these
careers, not even as hobbies. I am saddened about this, and regret not
having developed such skills at a young age. I am still hopeful that
there are other possibilities for me. The one job I loved was volunteer
work on the Internet which involved interracting and coordinating the
volunteer work of medical professionals online. If such a job exists
where I can make a living, I'd be happy to hear about it.
I was recently interviewed for a position that involves coordinating
Psychologists' workshops, some data entry/reception, some Intake work
(doing first-interviews for referrals), and basically doing a bit of
everything in the office. I'm having a hard time determining whether I
should take this job if it is offered to me. The job involves deadlines,
which is not a problem to deal with, theoretically, but which would
mean I would have to be able to work very fast and under stress.
I don't know if stress in general is something I'm good at dealing with
on a regular basis. Still I was wondering if task-related stress might be
easier than public related stress, for an INFP.
Over the years I've talked to career counsellors and written various
aptitude and preference tests, but neither the counsellors nor the tests
helped me understand what I was meant to do with my life. The one test
which has helped me find some reason for my confusion has been the
Keirsey Temperament Sorter (unresearched version of the MBTI).
I don't know how accurate or reliable it is or even how complete and
practical it is for most people, but since taking this test most recently,
I've finally been able see part of the why's and the how's of my struggle.
I sometimes wish it were simple, and for some people it is. But if it
were simple, I'd probably find it too easy and find a way to make it
complicated. In a way, as conflicting as it sounds, part of who I am
wishes a straight and simple path, and another part thrives on its
complexity and uncertainty.
There aren't many INFPs on the Internet but they seem to be congregating
in this newgroup, hence I posted this message here instead of elsewhere.
I didn't intend for my message to be this long, but once I started writing,
I found it hard to stop. I appreciate your patience and interest to have
read this far. If you relate to what I've shared and have any insights
on any of the above, I would be most grateful to hear your ideas.
Thank you.
infj
a comparison. Seems like you enjoyed your volunteer work so something along
those lines might be helpful. Also webdesign could be something you could
look into. Working with high volumes of people is very stressful. I have
done both and depending on where you work, who you work for and who you work
with determines the level of job satisfaction. Just feel your way through
and you do not have decide this minute. I too am in my late 20s and I still
do not know what I want to be when I grow up. Smiles, infj
Nightflight
infj <crimso...@yahoonospam.com> wrote
Thank you, infj. It feels good to know there are others like me, still searching.
I received a few email responses as well, and some mentioned that the
business world may not be ideal for an infp. Web page design is
something I could look into. Thanks & Cheers, Nightflight
Ruth
Do you have a fascination with the MBTI?
I occurs to me that you may enjoy and do well administering and interpreting
the MBTI professionally. There is a wide field of applications for it ,
especially in business, (where much money is spent in this this way).
I don't recall if you mentioned your educational background but you don't have
to have a degree in psychology to do this, but any bachelor's will qualify you
to take the course .
If this appeals to you, contact CAPT, (Center for the Application of
Psychological Type) in Gainsville, Florida. They have an 800 phone number.
How does that sound?
Ruth
Nightflight
Thank you for sharing your idea. Actually I do have a B.A. in Psychology.
I really enjoyed studying Psychology, but when I took the required
Psychometrics course, I kept dropping out of it after 1 week.
I did this for 4 consecutive years. I had to take it in my final year
and didn't like it any more than in my first. I can't say exactly why.
Maybe it was the professor, but I definitely got turned off psychological
testing very early in my education. I do believe that a Masters degree might
be required here in Canada in order to administer and interpret such tests.
I have considered the possibility of continuing my education at a later date
when I can afford it. In the meantime the search goes on. Best wishes to all
you INFPs and others searching... Now back to the classifieds...
matt_...@my-deja.com
Saw your message(s) and just *had* to reply. I too am an INFP and
to say I can sympathise with your "search" is an understatement. Here's
a few thoughts...
1) Not sure how many of the classic MBTI books you've read, but can I
suggest:
"Do what you are" - Paul Tieger
"Introduction to Type and Careers" - Allen Hammer (one page on INFPs)
That's for starters, anyway...
2) My bigger picture view of INFP jobs is that you can group them
(obviously some overlap):
LINGUISTIC: editor (classic INFP), journalist, writer, linguist,
English teacher
HUMAN POTENTIAL/"CARING": nurse, social worker, doctor, teacher (a
biggie!), careers guidance (irony!), educational consultant, counsellor
(I keep meeting these!), physiotherapist, occupational therapist,
priest
PSYCHOLOGICAL: psychiatrist, psychologist, psychological assistant,
counsellor, psychotherapist
Also - INFPs make brilliant researchers in any of the media.
A surprising number of scientists too, especially social sciences.
3) I think the important thing is to focus on the NF...you've a natural
drive towards communication, towards possibilities for people
(especially one-to-one persuasion and mentoring)...and in particular
UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE - where and how can you use this?
3) Web work is a good idea. Very creative and quite "editorial" but the
design elements and the technical elements of coding can be very, very
T-related. May not satisfy a Feeler long-term.
4) Think about iNtuition...for example...you say you haven't the talent
to be a writer, even as a hobby. Why not get some training and learn
some form of writing, such as commercial copywriting? I know a lot of
INFP writers who work in marketing and advertising and enjoy finding
creative connections for campaigns. Lucrative, too. How else do you/can
you use this function? Remember - it is your second strongest, but the
one which you instinctively greet the world with.
Then...
Think about Feeling. What are your values? For whom could you work so
that it wouldn't feel like work, you wouldn't notice the time passing?
A lot of INFPs I know seem to come face-to-face with themselves in
their late 20s/early 30s and realise that they have to do something F-
related, something involving the welfare of people. Your F-function is
your very core...when you have a job that ignores this, and emphasises
masses of detail - or prolonged analysis and logical rules - or
excessive deadlines (which you said you can handle, I think)...it can
be like playing golf while carrying a dead body on your back!
5) Re using MBTI vocationally - great idea - do contact the CAPT - I am
convinced you do not need a Masters.
6) Hope your mention of the classifieds was a throw-away line - this
really isn't the way to find a job!
7) As Isabel Briggs Myers once wrote beuatifully, you must have faith
in - and exploit - your preferred orientation. So make your job search
flexible and adaptable. I used to think of P as a major handicap..now I
liken it (stolen from Jung I think) to a ship, trimming and tacking its
direction. Be patient and keep "flowing" to wherever you are meant to
be. When you do get there, you'll be able to look back at all the
"wrong" things you passed through and see just what valuable stepping
stones they were. Nothing is wasted.
Finally 2 quick points...
* Please remember that the INFP search for meaningful work is one of
the oldest stories in the world - we really do march to a very
different drum beat than the rest of the world - so you are not alone.
* Please pop back here and let us know when you get something. Or you
can always message me... matt...@x-stream.co.uk
Best wishes and good luck,
Matt
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Ruth
On what research do you base our sweeping generalizations about INFP's?
I'd love to see it.
Ruth
Igor wrote:
> There is a need for someone to step forward and state the awful truth, so
> I figured that it could as well be me.
>
> INFPs have a hell of a time finding their place in life, doing a steady
> job, staying with one partner, etc etc. That's because they want an
> ideal (not perfection, but a shining ideal) and nothing real is ideal.
>
> They are the kind of persons who spend their lives almost fleeing from
> themselves, their presents, seeking the perfect love/occupation/whatever
> and not finding anything.
>
> So a life that seems to be going nowhere is natural for INFPs and they
> should not perceive themselves as failures. Every interaction that they
> have with others makes those others better. Sometimes very appreciably
> better. INFPs usually do not stick around enough to see that improvement,
> but it does happen. This fact should be the ultimate consolation for them.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}";main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
> http://www.algebra.com/~ichudov
Ruth
TWO what did you see; people, research papers? You'll need to offer SOMETHING to
put out what sound like rash statements here. We are here to learn, aren't we?
Ruth
Igor wrote:
> Ruth <rare...@att.net> wrote:
> * Igor,
> *
> * On what research do you base our sweeping generalizations about INFP's?
> * I'd love to see it.
>
> I have seen two, and also my friend who does psych testing said a very
> similar thing.
>
> igor
>
> * Ruth
> *
> * Igor wrote:
> *
> * > There is a need for someone to step forward and state the awful truth, so
> * > I figured that it could as well be me.
> * >
> * > INFPs have a hell of a time finding their place in life, doing a steady
> * > job, staying with one partner, etc etc. That's because they want an
> * > ideal (not perfection, but a shining ideal) and nothing real is ideal.
> * >
> * > They are the kind of persons who spend their lives almost fleeing from
> * > themselves, their presents, seeking the perfect love/occupation/whatever
> * > and not finding anything.
> * >
> * > So a life that seems to be going nowhere is natural for INFPs and they
> * > should not perceive themselves as failures. Every interaction that they
> * > have with others makes those others better. Sometimes very appreciably
> * > better. INFPs usually do not stick around enough to see that improvement,
> * > but it does happen. This fact should be the ultimate consolation for them.
> * >
> * > ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> * > char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}";main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
> * > http://www.algebra.com/~ichudov
> *
>
> --
Ruth
Oh, gee, that clears everything up for me???????????
Ruth
Igor wrote:
> Ruth <rare...@att.net> wrote:
> * Igor,
> *
> * TWO what did you see; people, research papers? You'll need to offer SOMETHING to
>
> Two people.
>
> igor
>
> * put out what sound like rash statements here. We are here to learn, aren't we?
> *
> * Ruth
> *
> * Igor wrote:
> *
> * > Ruth <rare...@att.net> wrote:
> * > * Igor,
> * > *
> * > * On what research do you base our sweeping generalizations about INFP's?
> * > * I'd love to see it.
> * >
> * > I have seen two, and also my friend who does psych testing said a very
> * > similar thing.
> * >
> * > igor
> * >
> * > * Ruth
> * > *
> * > * Igor wrote:
> * > *
> * > * > There is a need for someone to step forward and state the awful truth, so
> * > * > I figured that it could as well be me.
> * > * >
> * > * > INFPs have a hell of a time finding their place in life, doing a steady
> * > * > job, staying with one partner, etc etc. That's because they want an
> * > * > ideal (not perfection, but a shining ideal) and nothing real is ideal.
> * > * >
> * > * > They are the kind of persons who spend their lives almost fleeing from
> * > * > themselves, their presents, seeking the perfect love/occupation/whatever
> * > * > and not finding anything.
> * > * >
> * > * > So a life that seems to be going nowhere is natural for INFPs and they
> * > * > should not perceive themselves as failures. Every interaction that they
> * > * > have with others makes those others better. Sometimes very appreciably
> * > * > better. INFPs usually do not stick around enough to see that improvement,
> * > * > but it does happen. This fact should be the ultimate consolation for them.
> * > * >
> * > * > ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> * > * > char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}";main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
> * > * > http://www.algebra.com/~ichudov
> * > *
> * >
> * > --
Brent Kirkwood
if I am to always be miserable as an INFP?
Change my personality? Are there any guidelines for how to go about
this? A brick to the head and waking up with amnesia? Or does that not
kill the personality?
Note this is partially sarcastic but also part serious.
Brent
INFP
Igor <ig...@algebra.com> wrote:
: There is a need for someone to step forward and state the awful truth, so
: I figured that it could as well be me.
: INFPs have a hell of a time finding their place in life, doing a steady
: job, staying with one partner, etc etc. That's because they want an
: ideal (not perfection, but a shining ideal) and nothing real is ideal.
: They are the kind of persons who spend their lives almost fleeing from
: themselves, their presents, seeking the perfect love/occupation/whatever
: and not finding anything.
: So a life that seems to be going nowhere is natural for INFPs and they
: should not perceive themselves as failures. Every interaction that they
: have with others makes those others better. Sometimes very appreciably
: better. INFPs usually do not stick around enough to see that improvement,
: but it does happen. This fact should be the ultimate consolation for them.
: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nightflight
in our thalamus to break our abnormal oscillation patterns. We won't be able
to get depressed anymore. The cells in our cortex will finally be firing
in harmony with those in our thalamus. Kind of like a pacemaker for the
brain. Heck we can scrap idealism altogether; there must be a spot in the
brain for that. And by the way, thank you Ruth for speaking my thoughts
out loud. Now back to the scheduled program, kids.
Brent Kirkwood <fe...@yuck.net> wrote in message news:Nf3S3.6963$b84.7...@ptah.visi.com...
at...@my-deja.com
> > After Igor's inspiring article, I am left to wonder what to do with
life,
> > if I am to always be miserable as an INFP?
> >
> > Change my personality? Are there any guidelines for how to go about
> > this? A brick to the head and waking up with amnesia? Or does
that not
> > kill the personality?
> >
> > Note this is partially sarcastic but also part serious.
> >
> > Brent
> > INFP
> >
Brent,
No! Strive for honor. Even if the mass of bullshit you see on TV and
everyday life brings you down.
Tonight I sat in a restaurant all alone. The host of the restaurant
announced a girl's 13th birthday over the P.A.
I stood up and gave the father a $10 bill. I told him, "Make sure the
girl gets it."
The honor I felt made life worth living.
There can be no misery in true honor.
atew > INFP
LizUpatree
Though Igor is very astute, his reply also is a bit exaggerated! Not all of us
INFPs are quite as pathetic as the flighty butterfly he has depicted.
I am an INFP through and through, and have held the same job for nine years,
and done very well at it. I was married for 13, but it was not I who left the
relationship. I have lived in the same houes for 12 years.
But we do tend to have a longing for a more perfect life, I think, than some
others. (I think anyone would want a more perfect life than mine has been of
late!)
But if we realize this about ourselves, we can take that knowledge and use it
as a reminder that life is not perfect, nor ever will be, so we can be content
with imperfections, and learn to revel in the beauty that IS there.
Liz
<<Brent said: After Igor's inspiring article, I am left to wonder what to do
with life, if I am to always be miserable as an INFP? ....(snip)...>
matt_...@my-deja.com
lizup...@aol.com (LizUpatree) wrote:
> Now Brent,
>
> Though Igor is very astute, his reply also is a bit exaggerated! Not
all of us
> INFPs are quite as pathetic as the flighty butterfly he has depicted.
>
characteristics he talks about are always easy to spot in such cases.
Most of the INFPs I have met or corresponded with would see Igor's
description as a caricature - they are highly effective human beings
more often than not simply getting on with their lives. Maybe some have
had "flighty butterfly" periods in their lives at some point...but many
have found their niche, they have realized their ideals and now they
are simply flying!
> I am an INFP through and through, and have held the same job for nine
years,
> and done very well at it. I was married for 13, but it was not I who
left the
> relationship. I have lived in the same houes for 12 years.
>
> But we do tend to have a longing for a more perfect life, I think,
than some
> others.
I think it takes an NF to appreciate this.
(I think anyone would want a more perfect life than mine has been of
> late!)
>
> But if we realize this about ourselves, we can take that knowledge
and use it
> as a reminder that life is not perfect, nor ever will be,
Really? Oh my God...you're kidding...you'll be telling me Father Xmas
doesn't exist next.
so we can be content
> with imperfections, and learn to revel in the beauty that IS there.
>
Beautifully put.
Best wishes
Matt
Cindy
>if I am to always be miserable as an INFP?
>
I would hope not! I find INFP's to be kind, generous, caring people and
although everyone can improve something in their lives, no one should want to
change the temperarment they were born with! We need YOU!
Cindy
Cindy
>in our thalamus to break our abnormal oscillation patterns. We won't be able
>to get depressed anymore.
Put me down for one!
Cindy
LizUpatree
Thank you for the validation, Matt! :-)
(My first love [at age 14] was named Matt - sigh....tall, incredibly hadsome,
and quite egotistical.... wonder what ever became of him...)
Liz
<< > But we do tend to have a longing for a more perfect life, I think, than
some others.
> But if we realize this about ourselves, we can take that knowledge and use it
as a reminder that life is not perfect, nor ever will be, so we can be content
William Quinnan
at...@my-deja.com wrote in message
>Tonight I sat in a restaurant all alone. The host of the restaurant
>announced a girl's 13th birthday over the P.A.
>
>I stood up and gave the father a $10 bill. I told him, "Make sure the
>girl gets it."
>
>The honor I felt made life worth living.
>
>There can be no misery in true honor.
Even if the father blew the $10 on porn? ;-)
-cynical intp