Taco Bell $2 bill story

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Kurt Koller

May 7, 2015, 2:25:06 PM5/7/15
On my way home from the second job I???ve taken for the extra holiday ca$h
I need, I stop at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a
$50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get
something to eat and not have to worry about people getting pissed at me
for trying to break a large bill.

ME: ???Hi, I???d like one seven layer burrito please, to go.???

HE: ???Is that it????

ME: ???Yep.???

HE: ???That???ll be $1.04, eat here????

ME: ???No, it???s to go.??? [I hate effort duplication.]

At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at
it kind of funny and

HE: ???Uh, hang on a sec, I???ll be right back.???

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The
following conversation occurs between the two of them.

HE: ???Hey, you ever see a $2 bill????

MG: ???No. A what????

HE: ???A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.???

MG: ???Ask for something else, there???s no such thing as a $2 bill.??? [my

HE: ???Yeah, thought so.???

He comes back to me and says

HE: ???We don???t take these. Do you have anything else????

ME: ???Just this fifty. You don???t take $2 bills? Why????

HE: ???I don???t know.???

ME: ???See here where it says legal tender????

HE: ???Yeah.???

ME: ???So, shouldn???t you take it????

HE: ???Well, hang on a sec.???

He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I???m going to
shoplift, and

HE: ???He says I have to take it.???

MG: ???Doesn???t he have anything else????

HE: ???Yeah, a fifty. I???ll get it and you can open the safe and get

MG: ???I???m not opening the safe with him in here.??? [my emp]

HE: ???What should I do????

MG: ???Tell him to come back later when he has real money.???

HE: ???I can???t tell him that, you tell him.???

MG: ???Just tell him.???

HE: ???No way, this is weird, I???m going in back.???

The manager approaches me and says

MG: ???Sorry, we don???t take big bills this time of night.??? [it was 8pm and
this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100
other stores.]

ME: ???Well, here???s a two.???

MG: ???We don???t take those either.???

ME: ???Why the hell not????

MG: ???I think you know why.???

ME: ???No really, tell me, why????

MG: ???Please leave before I call mall security.???

ME: ???Excuse me????

MG: ???Please leave before I call mall security.???

ME: ???What the hell for????

MG: ???Please, sir.???

ME: ???Uh, go ahead, call them.???

MG: ???Would you please just leave????

ME: ???No.???

MG: ???Fine, have it your way then.???

ME: ???No, that???s Burger King, isn???t it????

At this point he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone
around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area,
and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this
45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a

SG: ???Yeah, Mike, what???s up????

MG: ???This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money.???

SG: ???Really? What????

MG: ???Get this, a two dollar bill.???

SG: ???Why would a guy fake a $2 bill???? [incredulous]

MG: ???I don???t know? He???s kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is
a fifty.???

SG: ???So, the fifty???s fake????

MG: ???No, the $2 is.???

SG: ???Why would he fake a $2 bill?"

MG: ???I don???t know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here????

SG: ???Yeah??????

Security Guard walks over to me and says

SG: ???Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you???re trying to use.???

ME: ???Uh, no.???

SG: ???Lemme see ???em.???

ME: ???Why????

SG: ???Do you want me to get the cops in here????

At this point I am ready to say, ???SURE, PLEASE,??? but I want to eat, so I

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I???m taking a swing
at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and

SG: ???Mike, what???s wrong with this bill????

MG: ???It???s fake.???

SG: ???It doesn???t look fake to me.???

MG: ???But it???s a $2 bill.???

SG: ???Yeah????

MG: ???Well, there???s no such thing, is there????

The security guard and I both look at him like he???s an idiot, and it
dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon
things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see
what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of
people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.

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