_RAW WARS_: Raw in Review
Adam Kohen
<scrolling text on a starfield>
It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
Ratings.
During this struggle, Emperor Vince McMahon managed to steal a top wrestler
from Smackdown and bring him over to Raw, while the ultimate weapon, the
Next Big Thing, continued to showcase enough power to destroy an entire
planet.
Pursued by the nWo's sinister agents, the Gold-Book alliance fight to keep
their pride and rid the galaxy of their enemies. And the Deadman,
custodian of the Undisputed title, tries to prevent a small extremist
threat from climbing a ladder and restoring unpredictibility to the
galaxy...
</scrolling text>
After a recap of last week's displays of ruthless aggression between Brock
Lesnar and RVD, Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman
pontificates on the Next Big Thing and refutes the claims of some people
that this is the summer of Rob Van Dam. Putting a twist on Kurt Angle's
open challenge from last week's Smackdown, Brock has asked Heyman to call
out not a rookie, but any veteran who wants to end their career early by
fighting Lesnar. Ric Flair comes out to accept, saying he hasn't forgotten
who cost him his ownership of Raw, and Lesnar tells him he's "in the wrong
place, in the wrong year, with the wrong guy."
The two actually put on a good match of decent length, with Lesnar
overpowering but not invincible against the aging legend. The few times
Flair gets a cover (including once after two consecutive nasty low blows),
Lesnar kicks out with enough force to throw him over the referee. Flair
locks the Figure Four in, but Lesnar reaches the ropes. Paul Heyman
catches his attention on the apron, and Flair walks over to knock him off,
giving Lesnar time to recover. Lesnar wins with the F-5, but continues to
sell the hurting leg (and groin) afterwards.
Coach interviews Jackie, who reasons that she didn't *lose* the Golden
Thong competition this weekend; she just didn't win. She also blames Molly
for losing their tag match last week. Molly walks in and blames her for
parading around in her underwear when she should've been studying a
wrestling role model like herself. Jackie says that at least she looks
good in underwear, and Molly slaps her hard. They fight from backstage to
the ramp towards the ring. Molly leaves Jackie flattened in the ring, but
then Trish comes down. They tussle in the ring for a few moments, and then
Trish pulls Molly's pants down to reveal very non-thongish "granny
panties"! We get proof that Molly marks exist beyond the confines of this
newsgroup when hundreds of camera flashes go off to capture this moment.
Christopher Nowinski tells Terri why he doesn't want the Hardcore title: he
prefers an environment where the most dangerous weapon is not a trash can,
but intelligence. Therefore, he's challenged Bradshaw to a straight-up
wrestling match.
After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
around in time to count the pin.
Backstage, William Regal watches Nowinski's victory approvingly when RVD
barges in, asking where to find Brock Lesnar. When Regal tells him that
Lesnar already fought tonight, and chastises him for arriving to the arena
late and coming in without knocking, RVD challenges him instead. Regal is
happy to accept, from one champion to another.
Terri asks Jeff Hardy about being an underdog. Jeff demonstrates that he
has the advantage in tonight's match by climbing around like a monkey on
anything he can find backstage.
Booker is walking backstage, when he spots Goldust approaching - dressed in
a full Darth Vader costume. At first Book claims not to be a Star Wars
geek and says he never watched the movie and never will. But when Dust
reminds him of the success of his plan last week and says he has one for
tonight, Book takes his red toy lightsaber and makes battle noises with it
along with several references to characters from the films. Obi-Book
Kenobi is gonna kick some nWo ass tonight...suckaaa!
Vince, talking to Eddie Guerrero, confirms that he is keeping Raw and
Smackdown separate because he likes competition. But he's making an
exception as a favor to Eddie and Chris Benoit, who is now officially
property of Raw, and says he'll figure out a way to make it up to the
Smackdown guys later. Vince makes it clear that Benoit owes him for this
favor, and Benoit and Eddie promise to pay him back tenfold tonight.
Next is the match between RVD and William Regal, with neither the
Intercontinental or European titles on the line. It's a short but okay
match, with Rob getting the win with a Five-star Frogsplash. Afterwards,
he gets a mic and calls out Brock Lesnar, reasoning that they've both won
matches tonight, so why not settle their differences right now? Lesnar
comes out to the stage with Heyman, who commends RVD for having more guts
than brains. He says he's doing Van Dam a favor by not letting Brock
destroy him right now. Instead, he suggests having their match at
Vengeance, and RVD accepts.
Bubba and Spike Dudley take on Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, in Benoit's
first match in over a year. Good match here, with Eddie and Benoit
heelishly double-teaming as often as they can. Spike actually hits a
Dudley Dog on Eddie but is unable to make the cover. It evens out after
the match is over, when a failed Dudley Dog ends with Benoit throwing him
through the table he himself set up on the outside. Bubba gets the pin
with a Bubba Bomb to Eddie, but he is also victimized after the match with
a Crippler Crossface that Benoit refuses to break, even when half a dozen
refs try to peel him off. Eddie adds "injury to injury" as JR puts it by
hitting a Frogsplash on Bubba's lower back while he's still in the
Crossface.
Darth Goldust meets Big Show backstage, where the big man complains about
Dust's Croc Hunter jabs at him last week. Dust takes his helmet off and
tells Show: "I am your father." Then he nails Show in the head with the
plastic lightsaber. This turns out to be a bad move, since Dust turns
around to find Kevin Nash, who beats him to a pulp with the very
non-plastic production equipment lining the hallway. Nash tells Show that
there's one down and one to go, and if Show can't get it done Nash will
follow through on his threat from last week. Afterwards, Lawler and JR
worry that Dust may be unable to compete.
Terri asks Undertaker about his ladder match tonight. He dimisses the
possibility that Jeff Hardy will beat him, focusing instead on future
encounters with Kurt Angle and, eventually, The Rock.
Big Show looks for X-Pac for their match, and finds him lying unconscious
on a broken table. He angrily heads out to the ring by himself.
So, the scheduled tag rematch has become a singles match between Booker T
and Big Show. Book hits some offense, but Show mostly manhandles him for
several minutes before Book pulls the ropes down and the giant falls out of
the ring. Outside, Show regains the advantage and is about to hit Book
with the top half of the steel steps, when Book kicks him and the steps
fall on Show's head, knocking him out. Booker rolls back into the ring and
wins it by countout. Rather than head backstage and face the wrath of the
rest of the nWo, Booker wisely exits through the crowd, DDP-style.
When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they know
put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional) family,
and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
up". The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
Vince tells Undertaker he's arranged to give him what he wants: The Rock in
a match at Vengeance. Therefore Taker can be at ease, because he gets Rock
at the next PPV whether he has the title or not. This gets Taker's
attention, as he wonders what Vince is implying. He promises that not only
will he not lose his title to Jeff Hardy, but Jeff won't even be standing
when he leaves the ring.
Meanwhile, Jeff prepares himself for the match when his brother Matt comes
in with a special guest. Lita has come along to provide moral support for
Jeff's match. Lita picked a good night to return, as Jackie was clearly
going for her "worst actress in the WWE" crown earlier. Jeff thanks them
for their good luck wishes, let's out a tribal scream and leaves to head to
the ring.
What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even get
to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
him from winning the title. Taker hits him with what JR calls a chokeslam,
but in reality looks like a weak throw, of the top of the ladder, and grabs
his belt to retain the Undisputed championship. He starts to ride away,
but then notices that Jeff is still standing. Not wanting to break his
earlier promise Taker goes back to the ring and gives Jeff a Last Ride. He
rides up to the stage when he hears Jeff gasping into the mic once again,
informing Taker that he's not been broken yet. Exasperated, Taker gets off
the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another punch,
and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
respectful nod.
Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
but still (just barely) passable. Getting one of the bad points out of the
way first...obviously the Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I
don't think anyone honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but
it would have been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense. I did
like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication that he
may be slowly turning face. Vince's promise that he will fight Rock at
Vengeance whether he has the belt or not all but assures that he will lose
the title to Kurt Angle this week. Perhaps we'll be seeing a Triple Threat
in that case, unless Angle gives Hogan a rematch with the title on the
line.
We're building up something of a tag division on Raw, with Benoit switching
rosters as a favor to Eddie, indicating that they plan to team up on at
least a semi-regular basis. And tonight they had a good match with the
Dudley Boyz 2.0, Bubba and Spike. With these teams, the nWo, Booker and
Goldust, and the Hardyz potentially waiting for tag team gold, Vince will
have to crack on that issue soon. Benoit's return to the ring was
definitely one of the highlights that prevents this Raw from getting a
negative review.
And speaking of highlights, the Booker/Goldust duo continues to provide top
notch entertainment backstage and in the ring. The Star Wars themed
shenanigans skirted the expectations of some that Dust would jump on the
MIB bandwagon this week, but then his Croc Hunter skit happened weeks away
from that movie's release. Dust got himself knocked out of in-ring
participation tonight, but the sides were evened when X-Pac was found
crumpled backstage. The nWo holds Booker responsible, but we never saw the
attack. Might this be the first sign of Kane's return, with at least six
weeks before he's cleared for action?
Another highlight, I have to admit, was the opening match between Brock
Lesnar and Ric Flair. I have no wish to see Flair wrestle on a regular
basis, but he pulled off a good one with the King of the Ring tonight. The
downside was that RVD was consigned to a brief non-title match with Regal
before setting up the match between himself and Lesnar for Vengeance.
Regal's European title might as well be melted down to create a backup
supply of brass knuckles if he doesn't start defending it more often.
Regal's protege, Chris "Harvard", also had a short match tonight, which
similarly wasted the presence of a WWE title on one of its participants.
I'm amazed nobody rushed out to the ring with a second referee to grab the
Hardcore title after Nowinski knocked Bradshaw out with that cowbell.
Meanwhile, Regal's former associate, Mighty Molly, got a chance to show her
superiority over the other women in the WWE by annihilating Tough Enough
rookie Jackie, but it came with the price of having her pants pulled down.
If we're lucky, Trish will pay for this affront in blood, after which Molly
will become less self-conscious of her body and wear something more
revealing next time. :)
And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know some
people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a bad
thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems like a
desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting to
gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking up
huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
likely expelling Big Show in the process. With Michaels taking so much
time tonight to simply spit out Trip's name, I shudder to think what kind
of promos we'd suffer through if this comes to pass. If all goes well, the
next time we see Trip he will respond to this claim with a resounding
denial. The Game must resist falling to the Dark Side, or the WWE galaxy
may be doomed.
-AK
Brandon Hex
--
When I do finally go to hell, I am kicking Satan's ass and taking over.
Fallen has a talent for always having an excuse.
> You mean you? Hex? Mikey? Trolls or delusional liars one and all.
Subject LA2 7583
news:3D213A2C...@hotmail.com...
> What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even get
> to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
> climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
> him from winning the title. Taker hits him with what JR calls a chokeslam,
> but in reality looks like a weak throw, of the top of the ladder, and grabs
> his belt to retain the Undisputed championship. He starts to ride away,
> but then notices that Jeff is still standing. Not wanting to break his
> earlier promise Taker goes back to the ring and gives Jeff a Last Ride. He
> rides up to the stage when he hears Jeff gasping into the mic once again,
> informing Taker that he's not been broken yet. Exasperated, Taker gets off
> the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
> sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another punch,
> and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
> respectful nod.
I told you they might go for the Taker giving Jeff respect angle :)
> And speaking of highlights, the Booker/Goldust duo continues to provide top
> notch entertainment backstage and in the ring. The Star Wars themed
> shenanigans skirted the expectations of some that Dust would jump on the
> MIB bandwagon this week, but then his Croc Hunter skit happened weeks away
> from that movie's release. Dust got himself knocked out of in-ring
> participation tonight, but the sides were evened when X-Pac was found
> crumpled backstage. The nWo holds Booker responsible, but we never saw the
> attack. Might this be the first sign of Kane's return, with at least six
> weeks before he's cleared for action?
I told you they might start having things happen to set up Kane's return (if that's
what they were doing) :)
Have you given up on the kotr musings thread? You haven't replied for a few days.
WhiskeyJack
Brandon Hex <blo...@home.com> wrote in message
news:blowme-0207...@mplsapanas11poolc7.mpls.uswest.net...
> Masterpiece
>
I'll second that. I always enjoy Adam's reports, but that one was especially
classy.
Regards
WhiskeyJack
Presto, The Panda Hunter
news:VzfU8.15727$1I6.11...@news-text.cableinet.net...
<snip>
>
> I told you they might go for the Taker giving Jeff respect angle :)
>
>
> I told you they might start having things happen to set up Kane's return
(if that's
> what they were doing) :)
So what you're trying to say is.... you win?
Take it up with SCDave, or whatever he's going by now.
--
"We're not just doing this for money...
...we're doing it for a shitload of money!"
Brett Mount
>
> <scrolling text on a starfield>
>
> It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
> networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
> Ratings.
>
> During this struggle, Emperor Vince McMahon managed to steal a top
wrestler
> from Smackdown and bring him over to Raw, while the ultimate weapon, the
> Next Big Thing, continued to showcase enough power to destroy an entire
> planet.
>
> Pursued by the nWo's sinister agents, the Gold-Book alliance fight to keep
> their pride and rid the galaxy of their enemies. And the Deadman,
> custodian of the Undisputed title, tries to prevent a small extremist
> threat from climbing a ladder and restoring unpredictibility to the
> galaxy...
>
> </scrolling text>
Gee, I wonder what Adam's mark out moment was? <G>
> After a recap of last week's displays of ruthless aggression between Brock
> Lesnar and RVD, Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman
> pontificates on the Next Big Thing and refutes the claims of some people
> that this is the summer of Rob Van Dam. Putting a twist on Kurt Angle's
> open challenge from last week's Smackdown, Brock has asked Heyman to call
> out not a rookie, but any veteran who wants to end their career early by
> fighting Lesnar. Ric Flair comes out to accept, saying he hasn't
forgotten
> who cost him his ownership of Raw, and Lesnar tells him he's "in the wrong
> place, in the wrong year, with the wrong guy."
And by doing so demonstrates that he is at least competent on the mic. He
doesn't have a voice like Dredrick Tatum, and it doesn't quiver like Billy
Gunn's - men have built a wrestling career with less.
<snip match>
> Coach interviews Jackie, who reasons that she didn't *lose* the Golden
> Thong competition this weekend; she just didn't win. She also blames
Molly
> for losing their tag match last week. Molly walks in and blames her for
> parading around in her underwear when she should've been studying a
> wrestling role model like herself. Jackie says that at least she looks
> good in underwear, and Molly slaps her hard.
That looked more painful than anything in the Lesnar/Flair match, and it's
not a criticism of those two.
During this promo, I was expecting your review to be titled "Raw in
Reality".
> They fight from backstage to
> the ramp towards the ring. Molly leaves Jackie flattened in the ring, but
> then Trish comes down. They tussle in the ring for a few moments, and
then
> Trish pulls Molly's pants down to reveal very non-thongish "granny
> panties"! We get proof that Molly marks exist beyond the confines of this
> newsgroup when hundreds of camera flashes go off to capture this moment.
No comment on Trish continuing the "fat ass" theme all the way up the ramp?
<G>
> Christopher Nowinski tells Terri why he doesn't want the Hardcore title:
he
> prefers an environment where the most dangerous weapon is not a trash can,
> but intelligence. Therefore, he's challenged Bradshaw to a straight-up
> wrestling match.
My respect for Nowinski rose with this. I've often wondered why anyone
would want a belt that involves you being hit with garbage cans at random
intervals.
> After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
> weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
> tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
> earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
> around in time to count the pin.
Bradshaw, I assume, doesn't have a long future in the hardcore ranks, if he
can be pinned after one shot by a foreign object.
> Backstage, William Regal watches Nowinski's victory approvingly when RVD
> barges in, asking where to find Brock Lesnar. When Regal tells him that
> Lesnar already fought tonight, and chastises him for arriving to the arena
> late and coming in without knocking, RVD challenges him instead. Regal is
> happy to accept, from one champion to another.
>
> Terri asks Jeff Hardy about being an underdog. Jeff demonstrates that he
> has the advantage in tonight's match by climbing around like a monkey on
> anything he can find backstage.
From tonight, I think Jeff should switch to decaf. He also shouldn't let
toddlers with textas near his arm.
<snip a whole bunch of entertaining stuff>
> Darth Goldust meets Big Show backstage, where the big man complains about
> Dust's Croc Hunter jabs at him last week. Dust takes his helmet off and
> tells Show: "I am your father." Then he nails Show in the head with the
> plastic lightsaber. This turns out to be a bad move, since Dust turns
> around to find Kevin Nash, who beats him to a pulp with the very
> non-plastic production equipment lining the hallway. Nash tells Show that
> there's one down and one to go, and if Show can't get it done Nash will
> follow through on his threat from last week. Afterwards, Lawler and JR
> worry that Dust may be unable to compete.
Damn- either we didn't get this bit, or I blacked out for a few minutes.
The Booker/Show match makes a little more sense now.
> Terri asks Undertaker about his ladder match tonight. He dimisses the
> possibility that Jeff Hardy will beat him, focusing instead on future
> encounters with Kurt Angle and, eventually, The Rock.
>
> Big Show looks for X-Pac for their match, and finds him lying unconscious
> on a broken table. He angrily heads out to the ring by himself.
>
> So, the scheduled tag rematch has become a singles match between Booker T
> and Big Show. Book hits some offense, but Show mostly manhandles him for
> several minutes before Book pulls the ropes down and the giant falls out
of
> the ring. Outside, Show regains the advantage and is about to hit Book
> with the top half of the steel steps, when Book kicks him and the steps
> fall on Show's head, knocking him out. Booker rolls back into the ring
and
> wins it by countout.
Having first tried to pick him up to roll him back into the ring. Big
Show's a heavy sucka.
> Rather than head backstage and face the wrath of the
> rest of the nWo, Booker wisely exits through the crowd, DDP-style.
>
> When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
> Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
> any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
> instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they
know
> put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional)
family,
> and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
> starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and
make
> up".
Anyone else thinking of Karen Marie at this moment?
> The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the
ramp
> before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
As HBK blathered on about HBK, I began to wonder if Big Show would be immune
to the Sweet Chin Music- it'd be an awfully high kick for Shawn. As it
happens, Show went almost to his knees to help him out.
> Vince tells Undertaker he's arranged to give him what he wants: The Rock
in
> a match at Vengeance. Therefore Taker can be at ease, because he gets
Rock
> at the next PPV whether he has the title or not. This gets Taker's
> attention, as he wonders what Vince is implying. He promises that not
only
> will he not lose his title to Jeff Hardy, but Jeff won't even be standing
> when he leaves the ring.
>
> Meanwhile, Jeff prepares himself for the match when his brother Matt comes
> in with a special guest. Lita has come along to provide moral support for
> Jeff's match. Lita picked a good night to return, as Jackie was clearly
> going for her "worst actress in the WWE" crown earlier. Jeff thanks them
> for their good luck wishes, let's out a tribal scream and leaves to head
to
> the ring.
Maybe water is called for, instead of decaf.
> What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even
get
> to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
> climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
> him from winning the title.
To be fair, I did get into this match- a couple of times, I did think that
WWE would do the unbelievable and put the Undisputed belt on Hardy. It
wasn't TLC IV, but it didn't suck completely.
> Taker hits him with what JR calls a chokeslam,
> but in reality looks like a weak throw, of the top of the ladder, and
grabs
> his belt to retain the Undisputed championship. He starts to ride away,
> but then notices that Jeff is still standing. Not wanting to break his
> earlier promise Taker goes back to the ring and gives Jeff a Last Ride.
He
> rides up to the stage when he hears Jeff gasping into the mic once again,
> informing Taker that he's not been broken yet. Exasperated, Taker gets
off
> the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
> sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another
punch,
> and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
> respectful nod.
I still think it's a swerve for Angle's face turn. <G>.
> Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> but still (just barely) passable. Getting one of the bad points out of
the
> way first...obviously the Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I
> don't think anyone honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but
> it would have been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense. I did
> like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication that he
> may be slowly turning face. Vince's promise that he will fight Rock at
> Vengeance whether he has the belt or not all but assures that he will lose
> the title to Kurt Angle this week. Perhaps we'll be seeing a Triple
Threat
> in that case, unless Angle gives Hogan a rematch with the title on the
> line.
I liked it more than last week, I think. It wasn't the best Raw of the
year, but I enjoyed it throughout (possibly due to an earlier timeslot),
which is about all I can ask for.
<snip>
> And speaking of highlights, the Booker/Goldust duo continues to provide
top
> notch entertainment backstage and in the ring. The Star Wars themed
> shenanigans skirted the expectations of some that Dust would jump on the
> MIB bandwagon this week, but then his Croc Hunter skit happened weeks away
> from that movie's release. Dust got himself knocked out of in-ring
> participation tonight, but the sides were evened when X-Pac was found
> crumpled backstage. The nWo holds Booker responsible, but we never saw
the
> attack. Might this be the first sign of Kane's return, with at least six
> weeks before he's cleared for action?
D'oh. I didn't think of him. I thought it was Dora <G>.
<snip>
> And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know some
> people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a bad
> thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems like a
> desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting to
> gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking up
> huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
> likely expelling Big Show in the process.
I assumed from the superkick that this was a done deal.
> With Michaels taking so much
> time tonight to simply spit out Trip's name, I shudder to think what kind
> of promos we'd suffer through if this comes to pass. If all goes well,
the
> next time we see Trip he will respond to this claim with a resounding
> denial. The Game must resist falling to the Dark Side, or the WWE galaxy
> may be doomed.
I expect he will- for some reason, I foresee a heel Trip and face nWo.
--
Regards
Brett
"You may be a king or a little street sweeper
But sooner or later you dance with the Reaper"
Subject LA2 7583
news:LwhU8.31958$Z6.3...@nnrp1.uunet.ca...
> "Subject LA2 7583" <subject...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:VzfU8.15727$1I6.11...@news-text.cableinet.net...
> <snip>
> >
> > I told you they might go for the Taker giving Jeff respect angle :)
> >
> <re-snip>
> >
> > I told you they might start having things happen to set up Kane's return
> (if that's
> > what they were doing) :)
>
> So what you're trying to say is.... you win?
>
> Take it up with SCDave, or whatever he's going by now.
Nah, just messing around. I think Dave's title is secure.
Adam Kohen
>
> Masterpiece
You overrate me, but thanks.
If I may return the compliment, I think a lot of the alternate Raw booking
you posted yesterday might have wound up more entertaining than what we
saw. :)
-AK
Adam Kohen
Classy? That's not a word I'd ever expected to be applied to my writings,
but I'll take it. Thanks muchly. :)
-AK
Adam Kohen
> > Exasperated, Taker gets off
> > the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
> > sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another punch,
> > and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
> > respectful nod.
>
> I told you they might go for the Taker giving Jeff respect angle :)
Indeed you did.
> > but the sides were evened when X-Pac was found
> > crumpled backstage. The nWo holds Booker responsible, but we never saw the
> > attack. Might this be the first sign of Kane's return, with at least six
> > weeks before he's cleared for action?
>
> I told you they might start having things happen to set up Kane's return (if that's
> what they were doing) :)
Yes, you dis say that as well. You're on a roll this week. Want to try
that lottery trick again? :)
> Have you given up on the kotr musings thread? You haven't replied for a few days.
Hmm...I thought I had replied last. Maybe my last post didn't make it to
your server, or yours didn't make it to mine. Either way, as much as I've
enjoyed this and the previous Musings thread, I must admit that not seeing
any new posts in it for a few days has saved me tons of time that I usually
spend composing my replies. :)
Incidentally, I went on a job interview this morning, for a position in a
medical lab. I think it went pretty well, although the other guy (and a
second doctor who came in later) did most of the talking. I should find
out about this one by the end of next week. Fingers crossed...
-AK
Adam Kohen
> Adam Kohen <akoh...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> > Episode IV: A New Hope
<snip incriminating SW text crawl parody>
> Gee, I wonder what Adam's mark out moment was? <G>
Guilty as charged. But then, Booker and Goldust are my markout moment
every week these days, regardless of which movie they're goofing on. :)
> > Ric Flair comes out to accept, saying he hasn't forgotten
> > who cost him his ownership of Raw, and Lesnar tells him he's "in the wrong
> > place, in the wrong year, with the wrong guy."
>
> And by doing so demonstrates that he is at least competent on the mic. He
> doesn't have a voice like Dredrick Tatum, and it doesn't quiver like Billy
> Gunn's - men have built a wrestling career with less.
Agreed - we know now that he wasn't kept silent out of necessity, but as
part of a long-term plan to build his character. A good sign, if they'll
only put that much thought into enough of the rest of the show.
> > Coach interviews Jackie, who reasons that she didn't *lose* the Golden
> > Thong competition this weekend; she just didn't win. She also blames Molly
> > for losing their tag match last week. Molly walks in and blames her for
> > parading around in her underwear when she should've been studying a
> > wrestling role model like herself. Jackie says that at least she looks
> > good in underwear, and Molly slaps her hard.
>
> That looked more painful than anything in the Lesnar/Flair match, and it's
> not a criticism of those two.
It certainly was quite a <smack>.
> During this promo, I was expecting your review to be titled "Raw in
> Reality".
Heh. I'm still undecided whether Jackie's delivery here was (a) meant to
be condescending and mocking, (b) hysterically bad, or (c) both. I lean
towards the last option.
> > Christopher Nowinski tells Terri why he doesn't want the Hardcore title: he
> > prefers an environment where the most dangerous weapon is not a trash can,
> > but intelligence. Therefore, he's challenged Bradshaw to a straight-up
> > wrestling match.
>
> My respect for Nowinski rose with this. I've often wondered why anyone
> would want a belt that involves you being hit with garbage cans at random
> intervals.
Yep. Too bad he turned out to be a hypocrite when they had the actual
match. So he's not against being a little Hardcore, but doesn't want the
responsibility of having to keep it up 24/7.
> > After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
> > weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
> > tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
> > earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
> > around in time to count the pin.
>
> Bradshaw, I assume, doesn't have a long future in the hardcore ranks, if he
> can be pinned after one shot by a foreign object.
Yeah, but it was a Texas/cowboy-themed prop. That's like a champion being
hit with his own belt - knocks him out cold no matter what. <g>
> > Terri asks Jeff Hardy about being an underdog. Jeff demonstrates that he
> > has the advantage in tonight's match by climbing around like a monkey on
> > anything he can find backstage.
>
> From tonight, I think Jeff should switch to decaf. He also shouldn't let
> toddlers with textas near his arm.
Or his forehead. As he adds more paint to his face each week, I have this
terrible feeling that he's gradually going to become the Ultimate Warrior.
> > Outside, Show regains the advantage and is about to hit Book
> > with the top half of the steel steps, when Book kicks him and the steps
> > fall on Show's head, knocking him out. Booker rolls back into the ring and
> > wins it by countout.
>
> Having first tried to pick him up to roll him back into the ring. Big
> Show's a heavy sucka.
True. Book didn't set out to win the cheap way, but that's just how it
turned out. At least it gave him the opportunity to do the Spinaroonie
unimpeded, and at no cost to his success in the match.
> > starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> > before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> > when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
> > up".
>
> Anyone else thinking of Karen Marie at this moment?
Hehe...
> > The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> > Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
> > before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> > Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
>
> As HBK blathered on about HBK, I began to wonder if Big Show would be immune
> to the Sweet Chin Music- it'd be an awfully high kick for Shawn. As it
> happens, Show went almost to his knees to help him out.
"HBK blathered on about HBK"...should I assume one of those initial sets is
meant to be HHH? :) It would have been funny to see Shawn do the kick, and
hit Show in the elbow or something.
> > What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even get
> > to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
> > climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
> > him from winning the title.
>
> To be fair, I did get into this match- a couple of times, I did think that
> WWE would do the unbelievable and put the Undisputed belt on Hardy. It
> wasn't TLC IV, but it didn't suck completely.
Under normal conditions, he should have. But when he went up the ladder
and was in arm's reach of the belt, and painstakingly tried not to grab it
until Taker was ready to knock him down, I knew there were no surprises
forthcoimng. It didn't suck completely, but for a ladder match featuring
Jeff Hardy it was pretty lackluster.
> > Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> > placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> > but still (just barely) passable.
>
> I liked it more than last week, I think. It wasn't the best Raw of the
> year, but I enjoyed it throughout (possibly due to an earlier timeslot),
> which is about all I can ask for.
Interesting. I could be mistaken, but didn't you say about last week's
show that you couldn't remember a better Raw? Yet this one, which you
liked more than last week's, wasn't the best Raw of the year. Mabye you
need more sleep. :)
I'd say the only filler match last week was Bradshaw/Spike vs.
Regal/Nowinski, whereas this week we had the singles derivative of that, a
too-brief match with Regal and RVD, more Molly humiliation, and a long nWo
segment which will hopefully turn out to be full of shit. Plus, much as I
marked for Goldarth and Obi-Book Kenobi, I think the Croc Hunter stuff last
week was funnier. Dust did the voice better, anyway.
> > And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> > tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know some
> > people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a bad
> > thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems like a
> > desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting to
> > gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking up
> > huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
> > likely expelling Big Show in the process.
>
> I assumed from the superkick that this was a done deal.
Tough love, remember? Show is on his way out, probably to feud with Nash
from the looks of it, but as of right now he's still in the fold.
> > If all goes well, the
> > next time we see Trip he will respond to this claim with a resounding
> > denial. The Game must resist falling to the Dark Side, or the WWE galaxy
> > may be doomed.
>
> I expect he will- for some reason, I foresee a heel Trip and face nWo.
The nWo is a tricky subject right now. During HBK's promo, there were boos
for X-Pac and Show but big pops for Nash and Michaels. If Show is kicked
out, and X-Pac continues to be demolished backstage, it makes a full face
turn for the nWo easy. But then it would only consist of two guys well
past their prime, one of whom will probably never be medically cleared to
wrestle full-time. Not really an intimidating force, is it?
-AK
Subject LA2 7583
> > Have you given up on the kotr musings thread? You haven't replied for a few days.
>
> Hmm...I thought I had replied last. Maybe my last post didn't make it to
> your server, or yours didn't make it to mine. Either way, as much as I've
> enjoyed this and the previous Musings thread, I must admit that not seeing
> any new posts in it for a few days has saved me tons of time that I usually
> spend composing my replies. :)
I know what you mean. I've caught up with the 3 Angel and 2 CSI episodes I had on
tape and finally got around to watching Unbreakable (I even bought the dvd today so I
can watch it again).
My last post in the musings thread was saturday afternoon. You'll be gone now until
friday anyway so if you don't want to carry it on I'll jump into one of your threads
at the weekend. I don't you having too much time to do other things :)
> Incidentally, I went on a job interview this morning, for a position in a
> medical lab. I think it went pretty well, although the other guy (and a
> second doctor who came in later) did most of the talking. I should find
> out about this one by the end of next week. Fingers crossed...
That sounds like it could be good news. My fingers will be in the usual crossed
position hoping things go the way you want.
Chewbacca
>
> Episode IV: A New Hope
>
> <scrolling text on a starfield>
>
> It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
> networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
> Ratings.
>
> During this struggle, Emperor Vince McMahon managed to steal a top wrestler
> from Smackdown and bring him over to Raw, while the ultimate weapon, the
> Next Big Thing, continued to showcase enough power to destroy an entire
> planet.
>
> Pursued by the nWo's sinister agents, the Gold-Book alliance fight to keep
> their pride and rid the galaxy of their enemies. And the Deadman,
> custodian of the Undisputed title, tries to prevent a small extremist
> threat from climbing a ladder and restoring unpredictibility to the
> galaxy...
>
> </scrolling text>
Wookie: GRAA!
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzz ball......
Leia: Nerf herding, putz. He's twice the man you are.
Wookie: Heh, heh, heh.....
Aaron Burrough
Adam Kohen <akoh...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Episode IV: A New Hope
>
> <scrolling text on a starfield>
>
> It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
> networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
> Ratings.
>
> During this struggle, Emperor Vince McMahon managed to steal a top wrestler
> from Smackdown and bring him over to Raw, while the ultimate weapon, the
> Next Big Thing, continued to showcase enough power to destroy an entire
> planet.
>
> Pursued by the nWo's sinister agents, the Gold-Book alliance fight to keep
> their pride and rid the galaxy of their enemies. And the Deadman,
> custodian of the Undisputed title, tries to prevent a small extremist
> threat from climbing a ladder and restoring unpredictibility to the
> galaxy...
>
> </scrolling text>
Haha. That was excellent Adam. With this creative spell of yours, I
think you should apply for a writing job with WWE. I could only begin to
fathom the angles you would write for Molly. :)
> After a recap of last week's displays of ruthless aggression between Brock
> Lesnar and RVD, Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman
> pontificates on the Next Big Thing and refutes the claims of some people
> that this is the summer of Rob Van Dam. Putting a twist on Kurt Angle's
> open challenge from last week's Smackdown, Brock has asked Heyman to call
> out not a rookie, but any veteran who wants to end their career early by
> fighting Lesnar. Ric Flair comes out to accept, saying he hasn't forgotten
> who cost him his ownership of Raw, and Lesnar tells him he's "in the wrong
> place, in the wrong year, with the wrong guy."
I must admit I marked out for those comments by Lesnar. Why was it
necessary to make him wrestle Lesnar though? They should have sent
someone out there that was at least a tad bit younger. But at least
Flair jobbed. Now if only Undertaker would do the same.
> Coach interviews Jackie, who reasons that she didn't *lose* the Golden
> Thong competition this weekend; she just didn't win. She also blames Molly
> for losing their tag match last week. Molly walks in and blames her for
> parading around in her underwear when she should've been studying a
> wrestling role model like herself. Jackie says that at least she looks
> good in underwear, and Molly slaps her hard. They fight from backstage to
> the ramp towards the ring. Molly leaves Jackie flattened in the ring, but
> then Trish comes down. They tussle in the ring for a few moments, and then
> Trish pulls Molly's pants down to reveal very non-thongish "granny
> panties"! We get proof that Molly marks exist beyond the confines of this
> newsgroup when hundreds of camera flashes go off to capture this moment.
First a granny swimsuit, now granny panties. What's next? Are they going
to make her come to the ring with a poodle and prune juice? Who's
brilliant idea is it to make Molly look like she's taken one too many
visits to the local retirement home? She's only 23-24 for gods sake. I
realize they're trying to keep her character sexually unappealing, but
they could find a better way to do it than this. It's evident by all the
cameras that went off that they're not doing a very good job. :) Or
perhaps that's just Molly's incredible beauty and natural charm breaking
through the crappy story lines.
> Christopher Nowinski tells Terri why he doesn't want the Hardcore title: he
> prefers an environment where the most dangerous weapon is not a trash can,
> but intelligence. Therefore, he's challenged Bradshaw to a straight-up
> wrestling match.
My only comment on this angle is if Chris Harvard prefers a match that
relies psychological ring work, why is he fueding with a moron like
Bradshaw?
> After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
> weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
> tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
> earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
> around in time to count the pin.
Oh, so Harvard is a moron himself. Just one who believes he's
intelligent. That explains everything. Good heel tactics though.
> Booker is walking backstage, when he spots Goldust approaching - dressed in
> a full Darth Vader costume. At first Book claims not to be a Star Wars
> geek and says he never watched the movie and never will. But when Dust
> reminds him of the success of his plan last week and says he has one for
> tonight, Book takes his red toy lightsaber and makes battle noises with it
> along with several references to characters from the films. Obi-Book
> Kenobi is gonna kick some nWo ass tonight...suckaaa!
LOL! When the camera panned over to Goldust in the Darth costume, I
found myself nearly in tears. Just classic stuff. The antics of Booker
and Goldust are the only thing I'm looking forward to next week.
> Bubba and Spike Dudley take on Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, in Benoit's
> first match in over a year. Good match here, with Eddie and Benoit
> heelishly double-teaming as often as they can. Spike actually hits a
> Dudley Dog on Eddie but is unable to make the cover. It evens out after
> the match is over, when a failed Dudley Dog ends with Benoit throwing him
> through the table he himself set up on the outside. Bubba gets the pin
> with a Bubba Bomb to Eddie, but he is also victimized after the match with
> a Crippler Crossface that Benoit refuses to break, even when half a dozen
> refs try to peel him off. Eddie adds "injury to injury" as JR puts it by
> hitting a Frogsplash on Bubba's lower back while he's still in the
> Crossface.
Benoit looked to be in good form here. Better than Austin did at first
after returning him his surgery. My only complaint is that Benoit didn't
do the head butt off the top rope. I can't help but think this was
because of his neck.
> Big Show looks for X-Pac for their match, and finds him lying unconscious
> on a broken table. He angrily heads out to the ring by himself.
Never has X-Pac been in finer form.
> When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
> Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
> any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
> instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they know
> put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional) family,
> and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
> starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
> up". The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
> before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
Where are they going with this one? On one hand this could be a good
move since it would likely mean HHH is turning heel. On the other hand,
he's on Smackdown roster. Are they going to draft another person from
SD? The entire roster split has become virtually pointless at this point.
> What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even get
> to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
> climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
> him from winning the title. Taker hits him with what JR calls a chokeslam,
> but in reality looks like a weak throw, of the top of the ladder, and grabs
> his belt to retain the Undisputed championship. He starts to ride away,
> but then notices that Jeff is still standing. Not wanting to break his
> earlier promise Taker goes back to the ring and gives Jeff a Last Ride. He
> rides up to the stage when he hears Jeff gasping into the mic once again,
> informing Taker that he's not been broken yet. Exasperated, Taker gets off
> the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
> sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another punch,
> and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
> respectful nod.
I nearly went into a coma in the time span it took Taker to get up the
ladder and back down. Booking the 40 year old Taker in a ladder match
was a bad move in every sense of the word. And of course Taker retained
his title. The hand raise at the end was nice, but otherwise the match
did nothing to make either competitor look good.
> Regal's protege, Chris "Harvard", also had a short match tonight, which
> similarly wasted the presence of a WWE title on one of its participants.
> I'm amazed nobody rushed out to the ring with a second referee to grab the
> Hardcore title after Nowinski knocked Bradshaw out with that cowbell.
> Meanwhile, Regal's former associate, Mighty Molly, got a chance to show her
> superiority over the other women in the WWE by annihilating Tough Enough
> rookie Jackie, but it came with the price of having her pants pulled down.
> If we're lucky, Trish will pay for this affront in blood, after which Molly
> will become less self-conscious of her body and wear something more
> revealing next time. :)
The revealing of Molly's panties seems to be a repeat of the events that
took place at the house show Micheal attended. Didn't Micheal report she
was wearing a thong though? I can't help but think that Twitchy bastard
snuck backstage and stole her thong. :)
> And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know some
> people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a bad
> thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems like a
> desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting to
> gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking up
> huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
> likely expelling Big Show in the process. With Michaels taking so much
> time tonight to simply spit out Trip's name, I shudder to think what kind
> of promos we'd suffer through if this comes to pass. If all goes well, the
> next time we see Trip he will respond to this claim with a resounding
> denial. The Game must resist falling to the Dark Side, or the WWE galaxy
> may be doomed.
Are you implying there's something wrong expelling the Big Slow? :) If
Trip is drafted to Raw, then the roster split needs to be terminated. It
serves no purpose with this many trades.
> -AK
--
-Resident Edge Head-
"It seems very odd to me
How you sin and feel so free
And all you have to do is say forgive me, I believe..."
Iced Earth - "Brainwashed"
My TestAmenT Group - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/testament
Adam Kohen
> > Episode IV: A New Hope
> >
> > <scrolling text on a starfield>
> >
> > It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
> > networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
> > Ratings.
<snip>
> Haha. That was excellent Adam. With this creative spell of yours, I
> think you should apply for a writing job with WWE. I could only begin to
> fathom the angles you would write for Molly. :)
If I had a job with WWE, I assure you I would lock myself and Molly in a
room and we wouldn't come out until we were both satisfied. Er, with her
creative direction, I mean. ;)
> > After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
> > weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
> > tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
> > earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
> > around in time to count the pin.
>
> Oh, so Harvard is a moron himself. Just one who believes he's
> intelligent. That explains everything. Good heel tactics though.
I would label him a hypocrite, not a moron. After all, he was smart enough
to run like hell after he got the cheap pin.
> > Booker is walking backstage, when he spots Goldust approaching - dressed in
> > a full Darth Vader costume. At first Book claims not to be a Star Wars
> > geek and says he never watched the movie and never will. But when Dust
> > reminds him of the success of his plan last week and says he has one for
> > tonight, Book takes his red toy lightsaber and makes battle noises with it
> > along with several references to characters from the films. Obi-Book
> > Kenobi is gonna kick some nWo ass tonight...suckaaa!
>
> LOL! When the camera panned over to Goldust in the Darth costume, I
> found myself nearly in tears. Just classic stuff. The antics of Booker
> and Goldust are the only thing I'm looking forward to next week.
They remain the best thing about the show, but with Benoit back in action
things will hopefully start to even out across the board. I'm also liking
Brock Lesnar's progression, but I guess that varies depending on one's
opinion of Paul Heyman.
> > Bubba and Spike Dudley take on Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, in Benoit's
> > first match in over a year. Good match here, with Eddie and Benoit
> > heelishly double-teaming as often as they can. Spike actually hits a
> > Dudley Dog on Eddie but is unable to make the cover. It evens out after
> > the match is over, when a failed Dudley Dog ends with Benoit throwing him
> > through the table he himself set up on the outside. Bubba gets the pin
> > with a Bubba Bomb to Eddie, but he is also victimized after the match with
> > a Crippler Crossface that Benoit refuses to break, even when half a dozen
> > refs try to peel him off. Eddie adds "injury to injury" as JR puts it by
> > hitting a Frogsplash on Bubba's lower back while he's still in the
> > Crossface.
>
> Benoit looked to be in good form here. Better than Austin did at first
> after returning him his surgery. My only complaint is that Benoit didn't
> do the head butt off the top rope. I can't help but think this was
> because of his neck.
I actually cringed a bit when he did his German suplexes - it looked like
he could easily have landed badly. I hope he'll eventually be able to do
almost everything he used to without too much danger.
> > Michaels then
> > starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> > before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> > when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
> > up". The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> > Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
> > before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> > Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
>
> Where are they going with this one? On one hand this could be a good
> move since it would likely mean HHH is turning heel. On the other hand,
> he's on Smackdown roster. Are they going to draft another person from
> SD? The entire roster split has become virtually pointless at this point.
It's been suggested elsewhere that the nWo may go as a unit to Smackdown as
compensation for Benoit. Even if they did that, I'd prefer HHH to turn
down their invitation. He can go heel, but not with them. The promos
would be overkill, and the core of the group would be a guy everyone hates,
another guy who isn't cleared to wrestle, and two injury-prone politicians.
> > Meanwhile, Regal's former associate, Mighty Molly, got a chance to show her
> > superiority over the other women in the WWE by annihilating Tough Enough
> > rookie Jackie, but it came with the price of having her pants pulled down.
> > If we're lucky, Trish will pay for this affront in blood, after which Molly
> > will become less self-conscious of her body and wear something more
> > revealing next time. :)
>
> The revealing of Molly's panties seems to be a repeat of the events that
> took place at the house show Micheal attended. Didn't Micheal report she
> was wearing a thong though? I can't help but think that Twitchy bastard
> snuck backstage and stole her thong. :)
In that case, she should've just let her bare ass be exposed. If Vince
could get away with doing it for the KMA club, Molly certainly could. :)
-AK
Jacob Gilbert
> Episode IV: A New Hope
>
> <scrolling text on a starfield>
>
> It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
> networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
> Ratings.
>
> During this struggle, Emperor Vince McMahon managed to steal a top wrestler
> from Smackdown and bring him over to Raw, while the ultimate weapon, the
> Next Big Thing, continued to showcase enough power to destroy an entire
> planet.
>
> Pursued by the nWo's sinister agents, the Gold-Book alliance fight to keep
> their pride and rid the galaxy of their enemies. And the Deadman,
> custodian of the Undisputed title, tries to prevent a small extremist
> threat from climbing a ladder and restoring unpredictibility to the
> galaxy...
LOL!!
> After a recap of last week's displays of ruthless aggression between Brock
> Lesnar and RVD, Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman
> pontificates on the Next Big Thing and refutes the claims of some people
> that this is the summer of Rob Van Dam. Putting a twist on Kurt Angle's
> open challenge from last week's Smackdown, Brock has asked Heyman to call
> out not a rookie, but any veteran who wants to end their career early by
> fighting Lesnar. Ric Flair comes out to accept, saying he hasn't forgotten
> who cost him his ownership of Raw, and Lesnar tells him he's "in the wrong
> place, in the wrong year, with the wrong guy."
>
> The two actually put on a good match of decent length, with Lesnar
> overpowering but not invincible against the aging legend. The few times
> Flair gets a cover (including once after two consecutive nasty low blows),
> Lesnar kicks out with enough force to throw him over the referee. Flair
> locks the Figure Four in, but Lesnar reaches the ropes. Paul Heyman
> catches his attention on the apron, and Flair walks over to knock him off,
> giving Lesnar time to recover. Lesnar wins with the F-5, but continues to
> sell the hurting leg (and groin) afterwards.
Would've been nice if Lesnar went over clean w/o interference from
"Arli$$" Heyman.
> Christopher Nowinski tells Terri why he doesn't want the Hardcore title: he
> prefers an environment where the most dangerous weapon is not a trash can,
> but intelligence. Therefore, he's challenged Bradshaw to a straight-up
> wrestling match.
>
> After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
> weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
> tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
> earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
> around in time to count the pin.
PATHETIC!! Too short to suit. Nowinski needs to start paying his dues
ASAP!!
> Next is the match between RVD and William Regal, with neither the
> Intercontinental or European titles on the line. It's a short but okay
> match, with Rob getting the win with a Five-star Frogsplash. Afterwards,
> he gets a mic and calls out Brock Lesnar, reasoning that they've both won
> matches tonight, so why not settle their differences right now? Lesnar
> comes out to the stage with Heyman, who commends RVD for having more guts
> than brains. He says he's doing Van Dam a favor by not letting Brock
> destroy him right now. Instead, he suggests having their match at
> Vengeance, and RVD accepts.
RVD & Regal have had better matches than this, but why didn't they
make this a title match one way or the other? Regal hasn't defended
his belt in 3 weeks.
>
> Bubba and Spike Dudley take on Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, in Benoit's
> first match in over a year. Good match here, with Eddie and Benoit
> heelishly double-teaming as often as they can. Spike actually hits a
> Dudley Dog on Eddie but is unable to make the cover. It evens out after
> the match is over, when a failed Dudley Dog ends with Benoit throwing him
> through the table he himself set up on the outside. Bubba gets the pin
> with a Bubba Bomb to Eddie, but he is also victimized after the match with
> a Crippler Crossface that Benoit refuses to break, even when half a dozen
> refs try to peel him off. Eddie adds "injury to injury" as JR puts it by
> hitting a Frogsplash on Bubba's lower back while he's still in the
> Crossface.
The postmatch was overkill. Bubba gets the win back from last week
over Cheech Guerrero, but the momentum is lost thanks to Benoit.
Pointless.
> When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
> Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
> any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
> instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they know
> put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional) family,
> and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
> starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
> up". The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
> before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
1. The absurdity of the night was HBK saying Booker was on his way to
Boston, forgetting that Team Smackdown will be in Beantown, and Booker
has a 4-day break before the next show.
2. As I wrote in my thread, I don't see HHH in the NWO. He's outgrown
the gimmick, and has become a better worker overall. To join the NWO
would take him down 10 pegs.
>
> Vince tells Undertaker he's arranged to give him what he wants: The Rock in
> a match at Vengeance. Therefore Taker can be at ease, because he gets Rock
> at the next PPV whether he has the title or not. This gets Taker's
> attention, as he wonders what Vince is implying. He promises that not only
> will he not lose his title to Jeff Hardy, but Jeff won't even be standing
> when he leaves the ring.
Sounds to me like UT could end up stuck on Smackdown if he were to
lose the title, same fate that befell HHH after Backlash.
> What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even get
> to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
> climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
> him from winning the title. Taker hits him with what JR calls a chokeslam,
> but in reality looks like a weak throw, of the top of the ladder, and grabs
> his belt to retain the Undisputed championship. He starts to ride away,
> but then notices that Jeff is still standing. Not wanting to break his
> earlier promise Taker goes back to the ring and gives Jeff a Last Ride. He
> rides up to the stage when he hears Jeff gasping into the mic once again,
> informing Taker that he's not been broken yet. Exasperated, Taker gets off
> the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
> sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another punch,
> and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
> respectful nod.
That'll end the feud, one would think.
>
> Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> but still (just barely) passable. Getting one of the bad points out of the
> way first...obviously the Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I
> don't think anyone honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but
> it would have been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense. I did
> like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication that he
> may be slowly turning face. Vince's promise that he will fight Rock at
> Vengeance whether he has the belt or not all but assures that he will lose
> the title to Kurt Angle this week. Perhaps we'll be seeing a Triple Threat
> in that case, unless Angle gives Hogan a rematch with the title on the
> line.
I don't think a 3-way is in the cards. Those have become cop-out
matches more often than not.
>
> We're building up something of a tag division on Raw, with Benoit switching
> rosters as a favor to Eddie, indicating that they plan to team up on at
> least a semi-regular basis. And tonight they had a good match with the
> Dudley Boyz 2.0, Bubba and Spike. With these teams, the nWo, Booker and
> Goldust, and the Hardyz potentially waiting for tag team gold, Vince will
> have to crack on that issue soon. Benoit's return to the ring was
> definitely one of the highlights that prevents this Raw from getting a
> negative review.
Definitely has to happen sooner rather than later. What excuse does
Vince have to leave the titles on Smackdown?
> And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know some
> people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a bad
> thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems like a
> desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting to
> gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking up
> huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
> likely expelling Big Show in the process. With Michaels taking so much
> time tonight to simply spit out Trip's name, I shudder to think what kind
> of promos we'd suffer through if this comes to pass. If all goes well, the
> next time we see Trip he will respond to this claim with a resounding
> denial. The Game must resist falling to the Dark Side, or the WWE galaxy
> may be doomed.
Triple H is this year's DDP. HBK is Scott Hall. 'Nuff said.
J. C. Gilbert
Jacob Gilbert
>
> <scrolling text on a starfield>
>
> It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
> networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
> Ratings.
>
> During this struggle, Emperor Vince McMahon managed to steal a top wrestler
> from Smackdown and bring him over to Raw, while the ultimate weapon, the
> Next Big Thing, continued to showcase enough power to destroy an entire
> planet.
>
> Pursued by the nWo's sinister agents, the Gold-Book alliance fight to keep
> their pride and rid the galaxy of their enemies. And the Deadman,
> custodian of the Undisputed title, tries to prevent a small extremist
> threat from climbing a ladder and restoring unpredictibility to the
> galaxy...
LOL!!
> After a recap of last week's displays of ruthless aggression between Brock
> Lesnar and RVD, Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman
> pontificates on the Next Big Thing and refutes the claims of some people
> that this is the summer of Rob Van Dam. Putting a twist on Kurt Angle's
> open challenge from last week's Smackdown, Brock has asked Heyman to call
> out not a rookie, but any veteran who wants to end their career early by
> fighting Lesnar. Ric Flair comes out to accept, saying he hasn't forgotten
> who cost him his ownership of Raw, and Lesnar tells him he's "in the wrong
> place, in the wrong year, with the wrong guy."
>
> The two actually put on a good match of decent length, with Lesnar
> overpowering but not invincible against the aging legend. The few times
> Flair gets a cover (including once after two consecutive nasty low blows),
> Lesnar kicks out with enough force to throw him over the referee. Flair
> locks the Figure Four in, but Lesnar reaches the ropes. Paul Heyman
> catches his attention on the apron, and Flair walks over to knock him off,
> giving Lesnar time to recover. Lesnar wins with the F-5, but continues to
> sell the hurting leg (and groin) afterwards.
Would've been nice if Lesnar went over clean w/o interference from
"Arli$$" Heyman.
> Christopher Nowinski tells Terri why he doesn't want the Hardcore title: he
> prefers an environment where the most dangerous weapon is not a trash can,
> but intelligence. Therefore, he's challenged Bradshaw to a straight-up
> wrestling match.
>
> After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
> weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
> tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
> earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
> around in time to count the pin.
PATHETIC!! Too short to suit. Nowinski needs to start paying his dues
ASAP!!
> Next is the match between RVD and William Regal, with neither the
> Intercontinental or European titles on the line. It's a short but okay
> match, with Rob getting the win with a Five-star Frogsplash. Afterwards,
> he gets a mic and calls out Brock Lesnar, reasoning that they've both won
> matches tonight, so why not settle their differences right now? Lesnar
> comes out to the stage with Heyman, who commends RVD for having more guts
> than brains. He says he's doing Van Dam a favor by not letting Brock
> destroy him right now. Instead, he suggests having their match at
> Vengeance, and RVD accepts.
RVD & Regal have had better matches than this, but why didn't they
make this a title match one way or the other? Regal hasn't defended
his belt in 3 weeks.
>
> Bubba and Spike Dudley take on Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, in Benoit's
> first match in over a year. Good match here, with Eddie and Benoit
> heelishly double-teaming as often as they can. Spike actually hits a
> Dudley Dog on Eddie but is unable to make the cover. It evens out after
> the match is over, when a failed Dudley Dog ends with Benoit throwing him
> through the table he himself set up on the outside. Bubba gets the pin
> with a Bubba Bomb to Eddie, but he is also victimized after the match with
> a Crippler Crossface that Benoit refuses to break, even when half a dozen
> refs try to peel him off. Eddie adds "injury to injury" as JR puts it by
> hitting a Frogsplash on Bubba's lower back while he's still in the
> Crossface.
The postmatch was overkill. Bubba gets the win back from last week
over Cheech Guerrero, but the momentum is lost thanks to Benoit.
Pointless.
> When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
> Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
> any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
> instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they know
> put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional) family,
> and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
> starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
> up". The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
> before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
1. The absurdity of the night was HBK saying Booker was on his way to
Boston, forgetting that Team Smackdown will be in Beantown, and Booker
has a 4-day break before the next show.
2. As I wrote in my thread, I don't see HHH in the NWO. He's outgrown
the gimmick, and has become a better worker overall. To join the NWO
would take him down 10 pegs.
>
> Vince tells Undertaker he's arranged to give him what he wants: The Rock in
> a match at Vengeance. Therefore Taker can be at ease, because he gets Rock
> at the next PPV whether he has the title or not. This gets Taker's
> attention, as he wonders what Vince is implying. He promises that not only
> will he not lose his title to Jeff Hardy, but Jeff won't even be standing
> when he leaves the ring.
Sounds to me like UT could end up stuck on Smackdown if he were to
lose the title, same fate that befell HHH after Backlash.
> What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even get
> to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
> climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
> him from winning the title. Taker hits him with what JR calls a chokeslam,
> but in reality looks like a weak throw, of the top of the ladder, and grabs
> his belt to retain the Undisputed championship. He starts to ride away,
> but then notices that Jeff is still standing. Not wanting to break his
> earlier promise Taker goes back to the ring and gives Jeff a Last Ride. He
> rides up to the stage when he hears Jeff gasping into the mic once again,
> informing Taker that he's not been broken yet. Exasperated, Taker gets off
> the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
> sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another punch,
> and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
> respectful nod.
That'll end the feud, one would think.
>
> Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> but still (just barely) passable. Getting one of the bad points out of the
> way first...obviously the Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I
> don't think anyone honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but
> it would have been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense. I did
> like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication that he
> may be slowly turning face. Vince's promise that he will fight Rock at
> Vengeance whether he has the belt or not all but assures that he will lose
> the title to Kurt Angle this week. Perhaps we'll be seeing a Triple Threat
> in that case, unless Angle gives Hogan a rematch with the title on the
> line.
I don't think a 3-way is in the cards. Those have become cop-out
matches more often than not.
>
> We're building up something of a tag division on Raw, with Benoit switching
> rosters as a favor to Eddie, indicating that they plan to team up on at
> least a semi-regular basis. And tonight they had a good match with the
> Dudley Boyz 2.0, Bubba and Spike. With these teams, the nWo, Booker and
> Goldust, and the Hardyz potentially waiting for tag team gold, Vince will
> have to crack on that issue soon. Benoit's return to the ring was
> definitely one of the highlights that prevents this Raw from getting a
> negative review.
Definitely has to happen sooner rather than later. What excuse does
Vince have to leave the titles on Smackdown?
> And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know some
> people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a bad
> thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems like a
> desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting to
> gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking up
> huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
> likely expelling Big Show in the process. With Michaels taking so much
> time tonight to simply spit out Trip's name, I shudder to think what kind
> of promos we'd suffer through if this comes to pass. If all goes well, the
> next time we see Trip he will respond to this claim with a resounding
> denial. The Game must resist falling to the Dark Side, or the WWE galaxy
> may be doomed.
Triple H is this year's DDP. HBK is Scott Hall. 'Nuff said.
J. C. Gilbert
Adam Kohen
> > Lesnar kicks out with enough force to throw him over the referee. Flair
> > locks the Figure Four in, but Lesnar reaches the ropes. Paul Heyman
> > catches his attention on the apron, and Flair walks over to knock him off,
> > giving Lesnar time to recover. Lesnar wins with the F-5, but continues to
> > sell the hurting leg (and groin) afterwards.
>
> Would've been nice if Lesnar went over clean w/o interference from
> "Arli$$" Heyman.
On some level I agree with this. But there are two caveats:
1. The interference was very minimal - he just stood there and let Flair
make his own mistake of going after him.
2. Having Heyman invovle himself in nearly all of Lesnar's matches will
inevitably build to Heyman screwing up and finally getting thrashed by his
soon-to-be-ex-client. Works for me, and I like how Heyman plays the role
(though I know this particular point is where there is the most dissent).
> RVD & Regal have had better matches than this, but why didn't they
> make this a title match one way or the other? Regal hasn't defended
> his belt in 3 weeks.
I agree that Regal needs to start defending his belt, but I don't think
this was the match to do it in. Putting both belts on one man makes them
even more redundant, and the only way to avoid that would be the kind of
messy DQ finish that you'd hate.
> > Vince tells Undertaker he's arranged to give him what he wants: The Rock in
> > a match at Vengeance. Therefore Taker can be at ease, because he gets Rock
> > at the next PPV whether he has the title or not. This gets Taker's
> > attention, as he wonders what Vince is implying. He promises that not only
> > will he not lose his title to Jeff Hardy, but Jeff won't even be standing
> > when he leaves the ring.
>
> Sounds to me like UT could end up stuck on Smackdown if he were to
> lose the title, same fate that befell HHH after Backlash.
I hadn't thought about Taker as the compensation for Benoit. I don't know
if Raw can afford to lose that big a name, even with Benoit's addition.
Until Brock and Booker, etc. have been established as top level, Taker is
the only one of the "big five" on Raw. Austin is gone, and Rock, Trip, and
Angle are on Smackdown along with Hogan, Edge, and Jericho, any of whom are
higher on the card than Booker, Brock, or RVD are yet.
> > We're building up something of a tag division on Raw, with Benoit switching
> > rosters as a favor to Eddie, indicating that they plan to team up on at
> > least a semi-regular basis. And tonight they had a good match with the
> > Dudley Boyz 2.0, Bubba and Spike. With these teams, the nWo, Booker and
> > Goldust, and the Hardyz potentially waiting for tag team gold, Vince will
> > have to crack on that issue soon. Benoit's return to the ring was
> > definitely one of the highlights that prevents this Raw from getting a
> > negative review.
>
> Definitely has to happen sooner rather than later. What excuse does
> Vince have to leave the titles on Smackdown?
Maybe the compensation Vince has planned for Smackdown will set off a chain
reaction to get all the belts on both shows. In return for taking Benoit
to Raw, he declares that Smackdown wrestlers can compete for the
Intercontinental title. The Raw roster sees this, and they point out that
it's not a fair trade and demand an equivalent concession: the tag belts
available to Raw. They can go back and forth to get the Euro, Cruiser, and
Hardcore belts shared (although the HC should have been cross-brand by its
nature anyway).
-AK
Brett Mount
<snip>
> > My respect for Nowinski rose with this. I've often wondered why anyone
> > would want a belt that involves you being hit with garbage cans at
random
> > intervals.
>
> Yep. Too bad he turned out to be a hypocrite when they had the actual
> match. So he's not against being a little Hardcore, but doesn't want the
> responsibility of having to keep it up 24/7.
I didn't see that as hypocritical- he has no objection to foreign objects in
general, just when people want to use them against *him*. It seems to make
sense to me.
<snip>
> "HBK blathered on about HBK"...should I assume one of those initial sets
is
> meant to be HHH? :) It would have been funny to see Shawn do the kick,
and
> hit Show in the elbow or something.
Umm, yes, HBK wasn't that obsessed with himself.
<snip>
> > I liked it more than last week, I think. It wasn't the best Raw of the
> > year, but I enjoyed it throughout (possibly due to an earlier timeslot),
> > which is about all I can ask for.
>
> Interesting. I could be mistaken, but didn't you say about last week's
> show that you couldn't remember a better Raw? Yet this one, which you
> liked more than last week's, wasn't the best Raw of the year. Mabye you
> need more sleep. :)
Ahhh, very likely I did <G>. I don't think I could name a single match from
last Raw, and my post has dropped from both my Sent Items and from my cache,
but I believe you.
I plead guilty to both posting on three hours sleep, and overindulging in
the whisky during Raw. In the cold light of day, it may not have been
objectively great, I may have been more amenable to entertainment.
> > > And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> > > tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know
some
> > > people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a
bad
> > > thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems
like a
> > > desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting
to
> > > gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking
up
> > > huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
> > > likely expelling Big Show in the process.
> >
> > I assumed from the superkick that this was a done deal.
>
> Tough love, remember? Show is on his way out, probably to feud with Nash
> from the looks of it, but as of right now he's still in the fold.
He's a forgiving sort of chap, then.
dojj
JLB
> Episode IV: A New Hope
>
> <scrolling text on a starfield>
>
> It is a period of civil war. Raw and Smackdown, fighting on different
> networks, have both struggled in their battles against the evil Nielsen
> Ratings.
>
> During this struggle, Emperor Vince McMahon managed to steal a top wrestler
> from Smackdown and bring him over to Raw, while the ultimate weapon, the
> Next Big Thing, continued to showcase enough power to destroy an entire
> planet.
>
> Pursued by the nWo's sinister agents, the Gold-Book alliance fight to keep
> their pride and rid the galaxy of their enemies. And the Deadman,
> custodian of the Undisputed title, tries to prevent a small extremist
> threat from climbing a ladder and restoring unpredictibility to the
> galaxy...
>
Very amusuing.
> </scrolling text>
>
> After a recap of last week's displays of ruthless aggression between Brock
> Lesnar and RVD, Lesnar and Paul Heyman come to the ring. Heyman
> pontificates on the Next Big Thing and refutes the claims of some people
> that this is the summer of Rob Van Dam. Putting a twist on Kurt Angle's
> open challenge from last week's Smackdown, Brock has asked Heyman to call
> out not a rookie, but any veteran who wants to end their career early by
> fighting Lesnar. Ric Flair comes out to accept, saying he hasn't forgotten
> who cost him his ownership of Raw, and Lesnar tells him he's "in the wrong
> place, in the wrong year, with the wrong guy."
>
> The two actually put on a good match of decent length, with Lesnar
> overpowering but not invincible against the aging legend. The few times
> Flair gets a cover (including once after two consecutive nasty low blows),
> Lesnar kicks out with enough force to throw him over the referee. Flair
> locks the Figure Four in, but Lesnar reaches the ropes. Paul Heyman
> catches his attention on the apron, and Flair walks over to knock him off,
> giving Lesnar time to recover. Lesnar wins with the F-5, but continues to
> sell the hurting leg (and groin) afterwards.
>
Lesner sold to Flair to much. He was acting like Flair's chops were
Benoit's, and he went to easy on Flair with the Spinebuster and
Bearhug. Lesner still needs a setup for the F-5, like Goldberg set up
the Jackhammer with the Spear.
> Coach interviews Jackie, who reasons that she didn't *lose* the Golden
> Thong competition this weekend; she just didn't win. She also blames Molly
> for losing their tag match last week. Molly walks in and blames her for
> parading around in her underwear when she should've been studying a
> wrestling role model like herself. Jackie says that at least she looks
> good in underwear, and Molly slaps her hard. They fight from backstage to
> the ramp towards the ring. Molly leaves Jackie flattened in the ring, but
> then Trish comes down. They tussle in the ring for a few moments, and then
> Trish pulls Molly's pants down to reveal very non-thongish "granny
> panties"! We get proof that Molly marks exist beyond the confines of this
> newsgroup when hundreds of camera flashes go off to capture this moment.
>
Molly delivers a beating unlike any we've seen devlivered from one
woman to another. Then Trish comes down and pulls Molly's pants down.
Molly better never agree to a bra and panties match against Trish.
> Christopher Nowinski tells Terri why he doesn't want the Hardcore title: he
> prefers an environment where the most dangerous weapon is not a trash can,
> but intelligence. Therefore, he's challenged Bradshaw to a straight-up
> wrestling match.
>
> After the break, Nowinski has his match with Bradshaw, who tries to bring
> weapons into the ring despite the non-Hardcore rules. While the referee
> tries to remove all these items from the ring, Nowinski goes against his
> earlier statements by hitting Bradshaw with a cowbell. The ref turns
> around in time to count the pin.
He was smart enough to take the oppurtunity given to him. I wish
they'd get rid Bradshaw's wrestling cowboy gimmick but I've been
thinking about it. Bradshaw was pretty much Austin-lite and they
switched gimmicks when they started having trouble with Austin, the
first time when he nearly no-showed.
>
> Backstage, William Regal watches Nowinski's victory approvingly when RVD
> barges in, asking where to find Brock Lesnar. When Regal tells him that
> Lesnar already fought tonight, and chastises him for arriving to the arena
> late and coming in without knocking, RVD challenges him instead. Regal is
> happy to accept, from one champion to another.
>
Maybe they should've made it a title match then they could have Brock
going into Summerslam with both of the titles when he challenges for
the world title.
> Terri asks Jeff Hardy about being an underdog. Jeff demonstrates that he
> has the advantage in tonight's match by climbing around like a monkey on
> anything he can find backstage.
>
Jeff's improving on the mike.
> Booker is walking backstage, when he spots Goldust approaching - dressed in
> a full Darth Vader costume. At first Book claims not to be a Star Wars
> geek and says he never watched the movie and never will. But when Dust
> reminds him of the success of his plan last week and says he has one for
> tonight, Book takes his red toy lightsaber and makes battle noises with it
> along with several references to characters from the films. Obi-Book
> Kenobi is gonna kick some nWo ass tonight...suckaaa!
>
> Vince, talking to Eddie Guerrero, confirms that he is keeping Raw and
> Smackdown separate because he likes competition. But he's making an
> exception as a favor to Eddie and Chris Benoit, who is now officially
> property of Raw, and says he'll figure out a way to make it up to the
> Smackdown guys later. Vince makes it clear that Benoit owes him for this
> favor, and Benoit and Eddie promise to pay him back tenfold tonight.
>
He could send D'Lo Brown to Smackdown so he can tag with Mark Henry
and do commentary on Velocity with Al Snow working on Tough Enough 3.
I also figure Albert is do for one more loss to a cruisereight before
he demands to go to Raw where he'll join the nWo as HBK's bodyguard
and X-Pac's partner. Did Eddie ever give the translation for ruthless
aggression? And something just occured to me, since Vince likes the
split it might start to disintegrate soon.
> Next is the match between RVD and William Regal, with neither the
> Intercontinental or European titles on the line. It's a short but okay
> match, with Rob getting the win with a Five-star Frogsplash. Afterwards,
> he gets a mic and calls out Brock Lesnar, reasoning that they've both won
> matches tonight, so why not settle their differences right now? Lesnar
> comes out to the stage with Heyman, who commends RVD for having more guts
> than brains. He says he's doing Van Dam a favor by not letting Brock
> destroy him right now. Instead, he suggests having their match at
> Vengeance, and RVD accepts.
>
I actually barely remember this match.
> Bubba and Spike Dudley take on Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, in Benoit's
> first match in over a year. Good match here, with Eddie and Benoit
> heelishly double-teaming as often as they can. Spike actually hits a
> Dudley Dog on Eddie but is unable to make the cover. It evens out after
> the match is over, when a failed Dudley Dog ends with Benoit throwing him
> through the table he himself set up on the outside. Bubba gets the pin
> with a Bubba Bomb to Eddie, but he is also victimized after the match with
> a Crippler Crossface that Benoit refuses to break, even when half a dozen
> refs try to peel him off. Eddie adds "injury to injury" as JR puts it by
> hitting a Frogsplash on Bubba's lower back while he's still in the
> Crossface.
>
I was stunned when the Dudleyz won this one. Next time I hope Spike
tells Bubba to get the tables. Eddie proved he can steer his
frogspalsh to a degree in the post match attack.
> Darth Goldust meets Big Show backstage, where the big man complains about
> Dust's Croc Hunter jabs at him last week. Dust takes his helmet off and
> tells Show: "I am your father." Then he nails Show in the head with the
> plastic lightsaber. This turns out to be a bad move, since Dust turns
> around to find Kevin Nash, who beats him to a pulp with the very
> non-plastic production equipment lining the hallway. Nash tells Show that
> there's one down and one to go, and if Show can't get it done Nash will
> follow through on his threat from last week. Afterwards, Lawler and JR
> worry that Dust may be unable to compete.
>
I actually figured that Goldust had put the suit on someone else and
would attack from behind at first.
> Terri asks Undertaker about his ladder match tonight. He dimisses the
> possibility that Jeff Hardy will beat him, focusing instead on future
> encounters with Kurt Angle and, eventually, The Rock.
>
> Big Show looks for X-Pac for their match, and finds him lying unconscious
> on a broken table. He angrily heads out to the ring by himself.
>
> So, the scheduled tag rematch has become a singles match between Booker T
> and Big Show. Book hits some offense, but Show mostly manhandles him for
> several minutes before Book pulls the ropes down and the giant falls out of
> the ring. Outside, Show regains the advantage and is about to hit Book
> with the top half of the steel steps, when Book kicks him and the steps
> fall on Show's head, knocking him out. Booker rolls back into the ring and
> wins it by countout. Rather than head backstage and face the wrath of the
> rest of the nWo, Booker wisely exits through the crowd, DDP-style.
>
Maybe he'll do that regularly. Booker's actually pinned Big Show
before. It was during Invasion and it took three scissor kicks.
Booker needs to stop wearing black and white trunks as long as he's
agaisnt the nWo.
> When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
> Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
> any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
> instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they know
> put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional) family,
> and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
> starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
> up". The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
> before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
>
Next week I hope Show explins that he understands tough love but if
that ever happens again he's going to chokeslam Michaels over the top
rope to the concrete. I was terrified that Nash might actually kiss
Show during this. Triple H willnot join the nWo.
> Meanwhile, Jeff prepares himself for the match when his brother Matt comes
> in with a special guest. Lita has come along to provide moral support for
> Jeff's match. Lita picked a good night to return, as Jackie was clearly
> going for her "worst actress in the WWE" crown earlier. Jeff thanks them
> for their good luck wishes, let's out a tribal scream and leaves to head to
> the ring.
>
She didn't seem to bad during that interview, at worst she seemd
insincere which she had every reason to be.
> What follows is the dullest ladder match in history. Jeff doesn't even get
> to do any high-flying daredevilry, instead settling for the slowest ladder
> climbing in his career while he waits for Taker to get in position to stop
> him from winning the title. Taker hits him with what JR calls a chokeslam,
> but in reality looks like a weak throw, of the top of the ladder, and grabs
> his belt to retain the Undisputed championship. He starts to ride away,
> but then notices that Jeff is still standing. Not wanting to break his
> earlier promise Taker goes back to the ring and gives Jeff a Last Ride. He
> rides up to the stage when he hears Jeff gasping into the mic once again,
> informing Taker that he's not been broken yet. Exasperated, Taker gets off
> the bike and goes back one more time, props Jeff against the rope...and
> sees Jeff looking him in the eye. He refrains from throwing another punch,
> and instead raises Jeff's hand. He backs away giving the younger Hardy a
> respectful nod.
>
He had Jeff by the throat so it was a chokeslam, and the ladder
climbing was fine considering that Jeff was supposedly barely able to
walk. He's gotten especially good at those post match speeches. And
considering the Undertaker didn't get beat on very much I was
surprised he was selling his injuries at first post match. At first I
thought Jeff might handcuff Taker to the ring.
> Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> but still (just barely) passable. Getting one of the bad points out of the
> way first...obviously the Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I
> don't think anyone honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but
> it would have been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense. I did
> like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication that he
> may be slowly turning face. Vince's promise that he will fight Rock at
> Vengeance whether he has the belt or not all but assures that he will lose
> the title to Kurt Angle this week. Perhaps we'll be seeing a Triple Threat
> in that case, unless Angle gives Hogan a rematch with the title on the
> line.
>
There's no point in face Rock/face Taker without the belts. Angle win
the belt but it'll be underhanded. On Monday Taker'll get a rematch
and Jeff'll get in Angle's face calling him a hypocrite and interfere
on Taker's behalf in the match.
> We're building up something of a tag division on Raw, with Benoit switching
> rosters as a favor to Eddie, indicating that they plan to team up on at
> least a semi-regular basis. And tonight they had a good match with the
> Dudley Boyz 2.0, Bubba and Spike. With these teams, the nWo, Booker and
> Goldust, and the Hardyz potentially waiting for tag team gold, Vince will
> have to crack on that issue soon. Benoit's return to the ring was
> definitely one of the highlights that prevents this Raw from getting a
> negative review.
>
I really saw no reason for a nagative review.
> And speaking of highlights, the Booker/Goldust duo continues to provide top
> notch entertainment backstage and in the ring. The Star Wars themed
> shenanigans skirted the expectations of some that Dust would jump on the
> MIB bandwagon this week, but then his Croc Hunter skit happened weeks away
> from that movie's release. Dust got himself knocked out of in-ring
> participation tonight, but the sides were evened when X-Pac was found
> crumpled backstage. The nWo holds Booker responsible, but we never saw the
> attack. Might this be the first sign of Kane's return, with at least six
> weeks before he's cleared for action?
>
It could be Kane. Goldust needs to win a match or two against the
nWo.
> Another highlight, I have to admit, was the opening match between Brock
> Lesnar and Ric Flair. I have no wish to see Flair wrestle on a regular
> basis, but he pulled off a good one with the King of the Ring tonight. The
> downside was that RVD was consigned to a brief non-title match with Regal
> before setting up the match between himself and Lesnar for Vengeance.
> Regal's European title might as well be melted down to create a backup
> supply of brass knuckles if he doesn't start defending it more often.
>
> Regal's protege, Chris "Harvard", also had a short match tonight, which
> similarly wasted the presence of a WWE title on one of its participants.
> I'm amazed nobody rushed out to the ring with a second referee to grab the
> Hardcore title after Nowinski knocked Bradshaw out with that cowbell.
They never do that, it seems like if it's not defended then it's not
eligabe to be defended that night. I still see an eight man feud
developing, between wrestlers Benoit, Guerrero, Regal and Nowinski
against thugs Bradshaw, Bubba, Spike and a final man
> Meanwhile, Regal's former associate, Mighty Molly, got a chance to show her
> superiority over the other women in the WWE by annihilating Tough Enough
> rookie Jackie, but it came with the price of having her pants pulled down.
> If we're lucky, Trish will pay for this affront in blood, after which Molly
> will become less self-conscious of her body and wear something more
> revealing next time. :)
>
> And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo? I know some
> people will be nostalgic for the Kliq, but I can only see this as a bad
> thing. Aside from the problem of Trip being on Smackdown, it seems like a
> desperation move to add him to the nWo when they're finally starting to
> gain some momentum. With Trip in their stable, they'll start sucking up
> huge amounts of time and will have one too many injury-prone members,
> likely expelling Big Show in the process. With Michaels taking so much
> time tonight to simply spit out Trip's name, I shudder to think what kind
> of promos we'd suffer through if this comes to pass. If all goes well, the
> next time we see Trip he will respond to this claim with a resounding
> denial. The Game must resist falling to the Dark Side, or the WWE galaxy
> may be doomed.
>
> -AK
No way is Triple H joining the nWo. I heard a rumor Scott Steiner is
joining the WWE and this is perfect for that, hell I realized that as
soon as I Michaels mentioned it. HHH acts like he's going to join the
group. When they're facing the wrong way he beats down X-Pac then
puts the sledgehammer to Show and Nash before delivering a spinebuster
to Michaels. The nWo can't get him because he's on Smackdown so
Steiner will come in. And in a merchandising move nWo Raw will be
black and white while nWo Smackdown will be red and black
JLB
Noal McDonald
> Episode IV: A New Hope
ROFLOL
This was an awesome start to a great review! :-D
> Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> but still (just barely) passable.
I agree entirely with this assessment.
> Getting one of the bad points out of the way first...obviously the
> Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I don't think anyone
> honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but it would have
> been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense.
Had that been the case, he might have killed the Dead Man. Taker
looked like he was suffering an asthma attack. It was bad enough that
Jeff had to significantly slow down for the old behemoth.
> I did like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication
> that he may be slowly turning face.
Heh. Moving from "You WILL show me the proper respect," to "You WILL
show him the proper respect." That would be slightly amusing if Taker
starts beating the crap out of veterans that disrespect the younger
talents.
> We're building up something of a tag division on Raw,
Curious, since the title is on Smackdown. I expect this will be shaken
up within 2-3 weeks. Perhaps Vengeance?
> And speaking of highlights, the Booker/Goldust duo continues to provide top
> notch entertainment backstage and in the ring. The Star Wars themed
> shenanigans skirted the expectations of some that Dust would jump on the
> MIB bandwagon this week, but then his Croc Hunter skit happened weeks away
> from that movie's release.
I liked the skit last week better when Goldust absolutley sold it with
his facial expressions and voice. However, this week's skit was pretty
funny as well.
> The nWo holds Booker responsible, but we never saw the attack. Might this
> be the first sign of Kane's return, with at least six weeks before he's
> cleared for action?
Could be. I'm very ready to mark out for The Big Gold Machine. Kane
would be an awesome straight man for Dustin and Book.
> Another highlight, I have to admit, was the opening match between Brock
> Lesnar and Ric Flair. I have no wish to see Flair wrestle on a regular
> basis, but he pulled off a good one with the King of the Ring tonight.
It wasn't bad. It would have been better if he had a shirt on.
> Regal's European title might as well be melted down to create a backup
> supply of brass knuckles if he doesn't start defending it more often.
I dunno. The "one champion and another" comment tells me they're just
about ready to push Regal into the ring before he goes on to announce.
> Regal's protege, Chris "Harvard", also had a short match tonight, which
> similarly wasted the presence of a WWE title on one of its participants.
Something else occured to me. Nobody was eliminated from Raw this
week. I was thinking that Heat would become the Hardcore division
show. Now, I don't know.
> If we're lucky, Trish will pay for this affront in blood, after which Molly
> will become less self-conscious of her body and wear something more
> revealing next time. :)
Here's hoping. :-)
> And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo?
I'm not sure about this. When I suggested the possibility before, I
didn't really think it would happen. Upon consideration, I do expect
HHH to swerve the nWo or at least just blow them off. Time will tell
as always.
GRAA.
Regards,
Noal
Aaron Burrough
Adam Kohen <akoh...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> If I had a job with WWE, I assure you I would lock myself and Molly in a
> room and we wouldn't come out until we were both satisfied. Er, with her
> creative direction, I mean. ;)
I don't even know how to respond to this. I'll just let your overactive
imagination continue to get the best of you. :)
> I would label him a hypocrite, not a moron. After all, he was smart enough
> to run like hell after he got the cheap pin.
That makes him a coward, not a genius. Wouldn't a Harvard graduate be
smart enough to realize you're supposed to take your street clothes off
before you enter the ring? Yes, I know that's part of his gimmick. I'm
just overanalyzing this because I'm bored. :)
> They remain the best thing about the show, but with Benoit back in action
> things will hopefully start to even out across the board. I'm also liking
> Brock Lesnar's progression, but I guess that varies depending on one's
> opinion of Paul Heyman.
Not if they continue to book Benoit this badly. His in-ring return
wasn't even advertised. It would have come as a complete shocker to me
if I didn't already know he had been medically cleared to return to
action. You of course already know my opinion on Paul Heyman and his
assocation with Lesnar. <G>
> I actually cringed a bit when he did his German suplexes - it looked like
> he could easily have landed badly. I hope he'll eventually be able to do
> almost everything he used to without too much danger.
He'll definitely have to cut down on the high flying stuff, if not lose
it completely. Fact is Benoit will never be quite as good as he was
before his neck injury. People are just going to have to accept that.
Fortunately for Benoit he's more of a mat technician than a high flying
spot fest.
> It's been suggested elsewhere that the nWo may go as a unit to Smackdown as
> compensation for Benoit. Even if they did that, I'd prefer HHH to turn
> down their invitation. He can go heel, but not with them. The promos
> would be overkill, and the core of the group would be a guy everyone hates,
> another guy who isn't cleared to wrestle, and two injury-prone politicians.
It depends on how much you like the nWo. I for one don't care much for
them because they aren't even a pale shadow of what they were in WCW in
their prime. But on the other side of the coin, people have been crying
for Trip to join the nWo for months now. If he can help them and
simultaneously revert himself back into a great heel, I'm all for it.
HHH's work ethic might encourage HBK to wrestle again as well. The
question is, do we wanna see him wrestle again? Is it safe? Will he even
be half of what he used to be? So many questions, so few answers.
Adam Kohen
>
> > If I had a job with WWE, I assure you I would lock myself and Molly in a
> > room and we wouldn't come out until we were both satisfied. Er, with her
> > creative direction, I mean. ;)
>
> I don't even know how to respond to this. I'll just let your overactive
> imagination continue to get the best of you. :)
Oh, shut up and go back to your blow-up doll. :)
> That makes him a coward, not a genius. Wouldn't a Harvard graduate be
> smart enough to realize you're supposed to take your street clothes off
> before you enter the ring? Yes, I know that's part of his gimmick. I'm
> just overanalyzing this because I'm bored. :)
Well, I never said he was a genius...after all, he went to Harvard, not
Yale. <g>
> > They remain the best thing about the show, but with Benoit back in action
> > things will hopefully start to even out across the board.
<snip>
>
> Not if they continue to book Benoit this badly. His in-ring return
> wasn't even advertised. It would have come as a complete shocker to me
> if I didn't already know he had been medically cleared to return to
> action.
That only has an effect on ratings, which should concern Vince but should
have no bearing on us as viewers. From a storyline standpoint, I much
prefer when things happen as surprises (HBK, Rock returning, etc.) to when
we know every little thing in advance.
> It depends on how much you like the nWo. I for one don't care much for
> them because they aren't even a pale shadow of what they were in WCW in
> their prime. But on the other side of the coin, people have been crying
> for Trip to join the nWo for months now. If he can help them and
> simultaneously revert himself back into a great heel, I'm all for it.
> HHH's work ethic might encourage HBK to wrestle again as well. The
> question is, do we wanna see him wrestle again? Is it safe? Will he even
> be half of what he used to be? So many questions, so few answers.
I was never a huge fan of Michaels, never having seen most of his singles
career after his Diesel-as-bodyguard period. I just have a fear that Trip,
Michaels, and X-Pac reunited would simply be a dull rehash of DX. And I
truly dread the 40-minute promos bound to occur when Trip, Nash, and HBK
share a ring together.
-AK
Adam Kohen
> > Coach interviews Jackie, who reasons that she didn't *lose* the Golden
> > Thong competition this weekend; she just didn't win. She also blames Molly
> > for losing their tag match last week. Molly walks in and blames her for
> > parading around in her underwear when she should've been studying a
> > wrestling role model like herself. Jackie says that at least she looks
> > good in underwear, and Molly slaps her hard. They fight from backstage to
> > the ramp towards the ring. Molly leaves Jackie flattened in the ring, but
> > then Trish comes down. They tussle in the ring for a few moments, and then
> > Trish pulls Molly's pants down to reveal very non-thongish "granny
> > panties"! We get proof that Molly marks exist beyond the confines of this
> > newsgroup when hundreds of camera flashes go off to capture this moment.
> >
> Molly delivers a beating unlike any we've seen devlivered from one
> woman to another. Then Trish comes down and pulls Molly's pants down.
> Molly better never agree to a bra and panties match against Trish.
It really was a powerful beatdown. I'd prefer Molly to kick the crap out
of Trish in a straight-up wrestling match like she should, but if a bra &
panties match is in the offing, I just hope Molly wears something nicer. :)
> > Backstage, William Regal watches Nowinski's victory approvingly when RVD
> > barges in, asking where to find Brock Lesnar. When Regal tells him that
> > Lesnar already fought tonight, and chastises him for arriving to the arena
> > late and coming in without knocking, RVD challenges him instead. Regal is
> > happy to accept, from one champion to another.
> >
> Maybe they should've made it a title match then they could have Brock
> going into Summerslam with both of the titles when he challenges for
> the world title.
That would have been neat - has anyone ever held three titles
simultaneously?
> > Vince, talking to Eddie Guerrero, confirms that he is keeping Raw and
> > Smackdown separate because he likes competition. But he's making an
> > exception as a favor to Eddie and Chris Benoit, who is now officially
> > property of Raw, and says he'll figure out a way to make it up to the
> > Smackdown guys later. Vince makes it clear that Benoit owes him for this
> > favor, and Benoit and Eddie promise to pay him back tenfold tonight.
> >
> He could send D'Lo Brown to Smackdown so he can tag with Mark Henry
> and do commentary on Velocity with Al Snow working on Tough Enough 3.
> I also figure Albert is do for one more loss to a cruisereight before
> he demands to go to Raw where he'll join the nWo as HBK's bodyguard
> and X-Pac's partner. Did Eddie ever give the translation for ruthless
> aggression? And something just occured to me, since Vince likes the
> split it might start to disintegrate soon.
Putting D'Lo on Smackdown and having him announce Velocity might be a good
move, with recent rumors that Regal might be up for a commentating job on
Heat. I'd be just as happy if Mark Henry was kept out of any important
storylines, though. Albert back together with X-Pac isn't something I'd
look forward to. I believe Eddie's only given translation for "ruthless
aggression" was "Eddie Guerrero". <g>
> > Darth Goldust meets Big Show backstage, where the big man complains about
> > Dust's Croc Hunter jabs at him last week. Dust takes his helmet off and
> > tells Show: "I am your father." Then he nails Show in the head with the
> > plastic lightsaber. This turns out to be a bad move, since Dust turns
> > around to find Kevin Nash, who beats him to a pulp with the very
> > non-plastic production equipment lining the hallway. Nash tells Show that
> > there's one down and one to go, and if Show can't get it done Nash will
> > follow through on his threat from last week. Afterwards, Lawler and JR
> > worry that Dust may be unable to compete.
> >
> I actually figured that Goldust had put the suit on someone else and
> would attack from behind at first.
Actually, I had the same thought - before he spoke, I guessed it was Booker
in the costume and Dust would do a sneak attack on Show.
> > When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
> > Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
> > any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
> > instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they know
> > put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional) family,
> > and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
> > starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> > before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> > when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and make
> > up". The two wisely opt for a handshake instead, but then Michaels gives
> > Show some Sweet Chin Music anyway. Shawn and Nash walk partway up the ramp
> > before turning around and waving Show to come with them. "Tough love,"
> > Shawn explains with an apologetic shrug.
> >
> Next week I hope Show explins that he understands tough love but if
> that ever happens again he's going to chokeslam Michaels over the top
> rope to the concrete. I was terrified that Nash might actually kiss
> Show during this. Triple H willnot join the nWo.
It would be nice to see Show stand up for himself, since he supposedly has
the strength to back it up. I really hope you're right about HHH.
> > Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> > placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> > but still (just barely) passable. Getting one of the bad points out of the
> > way first...obviously the Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I
> > don't think anyone honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but
> > it would have been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense. I did
> > like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication that he
> > may be slowly turning face. Vince's promise that he will fight Rock at
> > Vengeance whether he has the belt or not all but assures that he will lose
> > the title to Kurt Angle this week. Perhaps we'll be seeing a Triple Threat
> > in that case, unless Angle gives Hogan a rematch with the title on the
> > line.
> >
> There's no point in face Rock/face Taker without the belts. Angle win
> the belt but it'll be underhanded. On Monday Taker'll get a rematch
> and Jeff'll get in Angle's face calling him a hypocrite and interfere
> on Taker's behalf in the match.
Well, Angle didn't get the belt. The way it finished on Smackdown, I'm
even more inclined to think there could be a triple threat at Vengeance. I
don't see Jeff partnering in any way with Taker; the respect was just to
signal that their feud was over, and add more fodder to the Taker-as-face
teasing.
> I really saw no reason for a nagative review.
When you have a clean match between RVD and William Regal and it's (by your
own admission) forgettable, somebody's done something wrong. The
Bradshaw/Nowinski match was way too short, Molly was humiliated in the
service of putting Trish over yet again, and the nWo promo went on way, way
too long. Most of the other stuff was good, though.
> > Regal's protege, Chris "Harvard", also had a short match tonight, which
> > similarly wasted the presence of a WWE title on one of its participants.
> > I'm amazed nobody rushed out to the ring with a second referee to grab the
> > Hardcore title after Nowinski knocked Bradshaw out with that cowbell.
>
> They never do that, it seems like if it's not defended then it's not
> eligabe to be defended that night.
I'm sure I've seen it done at some point (though not since the split, after
which they seem to have forgotten that someone on Smackdown could easily
pin the HC champ at the airport or something).
-AK
Adam Kohen
> Adam Kohen <akoh...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> > Episode IV: A New Hope
>
> ROFLOL
>
> This was an awesome start to a great review! :-D
Thanks. :) Everyone seemed to enjoy that; would it take any of the shine
away if I admitted I just copy/pasted the actual text from Star Wars and
altered the appropriate words and names?
> > Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> > placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> > but still (just barely) passable.
>
> I agree entirely with this assessment.
In retrospect, it might have been a bit more than "barely" passable, but I
stand by it being a drop in quality from last week.
> > I did like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication
> > that he may be slowly turning face.
>
> Heh. Moving from "You WILL show me the proper respect," to "You WILL
> show him the proper respect." That would be slightly amusing if Taker
> starts beating the crap out of veterans that disrespect the younger
> talents.
Interesting idea. After Smackdown, would that make Jericho his next target
for disrespecting Cena?
> > We're building up something of a tag division on Raw,
>
> Curious, since the title is on Smackdown. I expect this will be shaken
> up within 2-3 weeks. Perhaps Vengeance?
Let's hope something happens soon. Although, it seems like they're
starting to build things up slowly on Smackdown as well, with Hogan and
Edge acting as (probably) interim champions so a different heel team
besides B&C can run with it for awhile. They need some solid face teams,
pronto.
> > And speaking of highlights, the Booker/Goldust duo continues to provide top
> > notch entertainment backstage and in the ring. The Star Wars themed
> > shenanigans skirted the expectations of some that Dust would jump on the
> > MIB bandwagon this week, but then his Croc Hunter skit happened weeks away
> > from that movie's release.
>
> I liked the skit last week better when Goldust absolutley sold it with
> his facial expressions and voice. However, this week's skit was pretty
> funny as well.
Agreed. I'm a huge SW mark, but Dust's Croc Hunter act was nothing short
of brilliant.
> > The nWo holds Booker responsible, but we never saw the attack. Might this
> > be the first sign of Kane's return, with at least six weeks before he's
> > cleared for action?
>
> Could be. I'm very ready to mark out for The Big Gold Machine. Kane
> would be an awesome straight man for Dustin and Book.
Indeed. Or, continuing his more vocal trend from before his injury, he
could join Dust as Booker's dual comic foils. Book won't know whether to
laugh or cry by the time their partnership runs its course. :)
> > Regal's European title might as well be melted down to create a backup
> > supply of brass knuckles if he doesn't start defending it more often.
>
> I dunno. The "one champion and another" comment tells me they're just
> about ready to push Regal into the ring before he goes on to announce.
I hope so. I don't know who he'd feud with over it, though. There was
that brief flirtation with it by D'Lo a few months ago, and maybe that can
be picked back up if Regal is going to take D'Lo's place at the desk.
> > Regal's protege, Chris "Harvard", also had a short match tonight, which
> > similarly wasted the presence of a WWE title on one of its participants.
>
> Something else occured to me. Nobody was eliminated from Raw this
> week. I was thinking that Heat would become the Hardcore division
> show. Now, I don't know.
That's true...Vince did say it would be a weekly thing, didn't he? Oh
well, that sure lasted long. Maybe they'll get back on that angle next
week.
> > And that brings us to the least encouraging development from
> > tonight...Shawn Michaels claiming that HHH will join the nWo?
>
> I'm not sure about this. When I suggested the possibility before, I
> didn't really think it would happen. Upon consideration, I do expect
> HHH to swerve the nWo or at least just blow them off. Time will tell
> as always.
I'm really hoping it's a blow-off. Before Michaels came back, I might have
been okay with it. Now, it just smacks of desperate D-X 2.0 shenanigans,
along with the looming threat of the most interminable promos ever.
-AK
Brett Mount
> JLB wrote:
> > Maybe they should've made it a title match then they could have Brock
> > going into Summerslam with both of the titles when he challenges for
> > the world title.
>
> That would have been neat - has anyone ever held three titles
> simultaneously?
Lance Storm in WCW, IIRC.
Aaron Burrough
Adam Kohen <akoh...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Oh, shut up and go back to your blow-up doll. :)
You know what they say, if you can touch it and feel it, then it's
better than something that's just your imagination. Ok, no one else says
that, but I sure do. Are you sure you wouldn't like a blow up doll of
your own? :)
> Well, I never said he was a genius...after all, he went to Harvard, not
> Yale. <g>
This is coming from the same man who insisted I don't make cracks about
him being a Yale graduate. Very peculiar Adam...
> That only has an effect on ratings, which should concern Vince but should
> have no bearing on us as viewers. From a storyline standpoint, I much
> prefer when things happen as surprises (HBK, Rock returning, etc.) to when
> we know every little thing in advance.
You're speaking of television returns. I'm speaking of in ring returns.
Those are two completely seperate entities and should be treated as
such. I would like to have seen Benoit's return to action hyped up at
least a week in advance. It also should have been a higher caliber
match. Why was he wrestling Bubba Ray in a midcard match when he's the
WWE's most celebrated ring technician?
> I was never a huge fan of Michaels, never having seen most of his singles
> career after his Diesel-as-bodyguard period. I just have a fear that Trip,
> Michaels, and X-Pac reunited would simply be a dull rehash of DX. And I
> truly dread the 40-minute promos bound to occur when Trip, Nash, and HBK
> share a ring together.
I would suggest you go dig up some of HBK's old matches then. Like for
example, his Iron Man match with Bret Hart. Trust me, after watching
that you'll be a bona fide HBK mark. You can call it nWo, you can call
it DX, but at the basic core this is a pubically exposed version of the
Kliq. However, the presence of Kevin Nash does lend an air of nWo
credibility to the group. He was always the heart and soul of the nWo in
WCW.
JLB
> JLB wrote:
> > Molly delivers a beating unlike any we've seen devlivered from one
> > woman to another. Then Trish comes down and pulls Molly's pants down.
> > Molly better never agree to a bra and panties match against Trish.
>
> It really was a powerful beatdown. I'd prefer Molly to kick the crap out
> of Trish in a straight-up wrestling match like she should, but if a bra &
> panties match is in the offing, I just hope Molly wears something nicer. :)
>
win a match that let her names stipulations. Maybe having Molly kick
her ass in a match would get Trish to act a bit more serious in the
ring.
> > > Maybe they should've made it a title match then they could have Brock
> > going into Summerslam with both of the titles when he challenges for
> > the world title.
>
> That would have been neat - has anyone ever held three titles
> simultaneously?
>
Just Lance Storm in WCW if I remember right. Of course he'd have to
forfeit the IC belt, like the Ultimate Warrior did when he won the
World title. But they let Shawn Michaels keep the European belt when
he won the World title.
> Putting D'Lo on Smackdown and having him announce Velocity might be a good
> move, with recent rumors that Regal might be up for a commentating job on
> Heat. I'd be just as happy if Mark Henry was kept out of any important
> storylines, though. Albert back together with X-Pac isn't something I'd
> look forward to. I believe Eddie's only given translation for "ruthless
> aggression" was "Eddie Guerrero". <g>
Eh, I still think you're against power wrestling. Sure Kane's strong
but he's also incredibly agile. Mark Henry and D'Lo Brown were a very
good team.
X-Pac and Albert at least had some tandom moves unlike a lot teams
these days
>
> It would be nice to see Show stand up for himself, since he supposedly has
> the strength to back it up. I really hope you're right about HHH.
I'm sure I am. Even if he does heel turn soon the nWo would not be a
good fit anymore.
>
> > > Well, despite some ups and downs, I think this show can be tentatively
> > > placed in the "good" column. A few steps down from last week, certainly,
> > > but still (just barely) passable. Getting one of the bad points out of the
> > > way first...obviously the Taker/Jeff ladder match was a disappointment. I
> > > don't think anyone honestly expected Jeff to win the Undisputed title, but
> > > it would have been nice to see some of his usual suicidal offense. I did
> > > like Taker's show of respect in the aftermath, another indication that he
> > > may be slowly turning face. Vince's promise that he will fight Rock at
> > > Vengeance whether he has the belt or not all but assures that he will lose
> > > the title to Kurt Angle this week. Perhaps we'll be seeing a Triple Threat
> > > in that case, unless Angle gives Hogan a rematch with the title on the
> > > line.
> > >
> > There's no point in face Rock/face Taker without the belts. Angle win
> > the belt but it'll be underhanded. On Monday Taker'll get a rematch
> > and Jeff'll get in Angle's face calling him a hypocrite and interfere
> > on Taker's behalf in the match.
>
> Well, Angle didn't get the belt. The way it finished on Smackdown, I'm
> even more inclined to think there could be a triple threat at Vengeance. I
> don't see Jeff partnering in any way with Taker; the respect was just to
> signal that their feud was over, and add more fodder to the Taker-as-face
> teasing.
>
Well without giving Angle the belt Taker doesn't have anything to do
on Monday. Maybe he'll have a confrontation with Matt Hardy and just
walk away saying "A man should look out for his family."
> > I really saw no reason for a nagative review.
>
> When you have a clean match between RVD and William Regal and it's (by your
> own admission) forgettable, somebody's done something wrong. The
> Bradshaw/Nowinski match was way too short, Molly was humiliated in the
> service of putting Trish over yet again, and the nWo promo went on way, way
> too long. Most of the other stuff was good, though.
>
I don't usualy think much of RVD/Regal, their styles clash to much so
their's no real continuity in matches. I'm not sure Nowinski can
handle a long match yet.
> > > Regal's protege, Chris "Harvard", also had a short match tonight, which
> > > similarly wasted the presence of a WWE title on one of its participants.
> > > I'm amazed nobody rushed out to the ring with a second referee to grab the
> > > Hardcore title after Nowinski knocked Bradshaw out with that cowbell.
> >
> > They never do that, it seems like if it's not defended then it's not
> > eligabe to be defended that night.
>
> I'm sure I've seen it done at some point (though not since the split, after
> which they seem to have forgotten that someone on Smackdown could easily
> pin the HC champ at the airport or something).
>
> -AK
I hope they'll do that soon.
Karen Marie
<snip>
> > When we return, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are in the ring with Show.
> > Nash and Show exchange big punches, but then Shawn stops them from going
> > any further. He says they should be focused on fighting their enemies
> > instead of each other, and their enemy right now is Booker T, who they
> know
> > put X-Pac through that table backstage. They are a (dysfunctional)
> family,
> > and families aren't complete without everyone present. Michaels then
> > starts making hints, and rambles until well after everyone gets the point
> > before officially stating that HHH will be the newest member of the nWo
> > when he returns from injury. He then tells Nash and Show to "kiss and
> make
> > up".
>
> Anyone else thinking of Karen Marie at this moment?
Heh. I missed all wrestling last week - having two shows to do the week
before with 12 hours traveling time in an unair-conditioned car sorta
puts you out of the mood - so I appreciated the recaps as my drunken
"Chewbacca" post will attest to.
--
******************************************
Karen:)
Fangrrl #1
KM Cookie Inc.
APWW HOF 2001
ICQ# 62834295
MSN Messenger
Capricorn, YOTRooster
---------------------------------------
Memory, Prophecy, and Fantasy - the past,
the future and the dreaming moment between -
are all one country, living one immortal day.
To know that is Wisdom.
To use it is the Art.
-- Clive Barker
-------------------------------------
Adam Kohen
> > Well, I never said he was a genius...after all, he went to Harvard, not
> > Yale. <g>
>
> This is coming from the same man who insisted I don't make cracks about
> him being a Yale graduate. Very peculiar Adam...
Hey, they're throwing a guy from Harvard in our faces. It's my duty to
pretend I have some kind of school spirit in such situations. :)
> > That only has an effect on ratings, which should concern Vince but should
> > have no bearing on us as viewers. From a storyline standpoint, I much
> > prefer when things happen as surprises (HBK, Rock returning, etc.) to when
> > we know every little thing in advance.
>
> You're speaking of television returns. I'm speaking of in ring returns.
> Those are two completely seperate entities and should be treated as
> such. I would like to have seen Benoit's return to action hyped up at
> least a week in advance. It also should have been a higher caliber
> match. Why was he wrestling Bubba Ray in a midcard match when he's the
> WWE's most celebrated ring technician?
Maybe they don't want to push him too hard to start off, and risk him
starting to fall apart at the seams like Trip. Also, Bubba has been pretty
over since the split, so he's probably the highest person on the card not
busy with something else.
As for the issue of hyping his first match, I'm really not convinced it
makes a difference. Since we already knew he was back, people that were
watching to see Benoit wouldn't stop watching before he was in a match, so
those Vince had those viewers hooked anyway.
> I would suggest you go dig up some of HBK's old matches then. Like for
> example, his Iron Man match with Bret Hart. Trust me, after watching
> that you'll be a bona fide HBK mark. You can call it nWo, you can call
> it DX, but at the basic core this is a pubically exposed version of the
> Kliq. However, the presence of Kevin Nash does lend an air of nWo
> credibility to the group. He was always the heart and soul of the nWo in
> WCW.
I'm really not that interested enough to watch his past stuff. He just
seems obnoxious to me. And from everything I've read on the subject,
having the Kliq all back together onscreen and off will not necessarily be
a good thing.
-AK
Adam Kohen
> Molly'd never agree to a bra and panties match, so Trish would have to
> win a match that let her names stipulations. Maybe having Molly kick
> her ass in a match would get Trish to act a bit more serious in the
> ring.
I think as long as Trish keeps her looks, they will always find a way to
get her into the fluff matches, and she doesn't seem to mind at all. I'd
like to see Molly kick her ass just because I'd like the average audience
member to realize and accept that she can.
> Eh, I still think you're against power wrestling. Sure Kane's strong
> but he's also incredibly agile. Mark Henry and D'Lo Brown were a very
> good team.
> X-Pac and Albert at least had some tandom moves unlike a lot teams
> these days
I don't really mind Albert either, so I'm not against power in general. I
liked him a lot better with Scotty than in X-Factor, though. Henry just
bores me to death, no matter how strong he is. Part of my dislike for him
could just be all the time needlessly devoted to him performing stunts when
the brand extension first started.
> > Well, Angle didn't get the belt. The way it finished on Smackdown, I'm
> > even more inclined to think there could be a triple threat at Vengeance. I
> > don't see Jeff partnering in any way with Taker; the respect was just to
> > signal that their feud was over, and add more fodder to the Taker-as-face
> > teasing.
> >
> Well without giving Angle the belt Taker doesn't have anything to do
> on Monday. Maybe he'll have a confrontation with Matt Hardy and just
> walk away saying "A man should look out for his family."
I think that would be pretty pointless. Why wrap up a Hardy feud just to
move on to another one? As I said in the other thread, I think Taker's
role on Monday will be either a promo about Rock's return, or dealing with
Kurt showing up to dispute the "Undisputed" title.
-AK
Aaron Burrough
Adam Kohen <akoh...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Hey, they're throwing a guy from Harvard in our faces. It's my duty to
> pretend I have some kind of school spirit in such situations. :)
You have a lot of animosity towards Harvard boys, don't you? He must be
really grating under your skin. Don't worry Adam, I can assure you
you're better than that Harvard punk. You still can't have your way with
Eliza in the Motel 6 though. She's all mine! ;)
> Maybe they don't want to push him too hard to start off, and risk him
> starting to fall apart at the seams like Trip. Also, Bubba has been pretty
> over since the split, so he's probably the highest person on the card not
> busy with something else.
I don't think they're worried about him falling into 50 different pieces
like HHH is currently doing. At least not yet. The reason Trip is in
such bad condition is because he's overworked his body and abused too
many steroids. Of course they're going to take it easy on Benoit, as
they would with anybody else who had just returned from major spinal
surgery, but that's no reason to not book him in higher caliber matches.
Incase you forgot, Austin's first match back was at a PPV.
Bubba may be over, but he's far from main event status.
> As for the issue of hyping his first match, I'm really not convinced it
> makes a difference. Since we already knew he was back, people that were
> watching to see Benoit wouldn't stop watching before he was in a match, so
> those Vince had those viewers hooked anyway.
With the ratings as low as they are, anything and everything that can be
done to boost them should be done. Even if hyping up Benoit's first
match back only gains the WWE a couple hundred viewers, it's still
better than nothing. Remember, every penny counts.
> I'm really not that interested enough to watch his past stuff. He just
> seems obnoxious to me. And from everything I've read on the subject,
> having the Kliq all back together onscreen and off will not necessarily be
> a good thing.
How does being obnoxious relate to being a great wrestler? I beg you to
reconsider watching some of his old matches. I believe your opinion will
change drastically after watching just a couple, even if you hate his
cocky persona.
I can't really comment too much on the affects of having the Kliq back
at this point in time. It's just too early to tell. However there have
already been reports that they're using their backstage pull to change
storylines to their liking. That's not a good sign.