HEADACHE
ELISA K. STEFAN
ALL YOU WHINING BOYS AND SHRILL SMALL FEMALE PERSONS
GIVE ME HEARTBURN. MY HEAD POUNDS NOW, HOT IN THIS STICKY
HEAT. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MOMA ELISA FEELS A LITTLE
STRESSED THIS AFTERNOON, YESSIR, JUST A LITTLE STRESSED.
YOU SMALL FOLKS ALL HOLLERIN' AND FEUDIN' DON'T HELP IT,
DON'T HELP IT NOT ALL.
NOW YOU GUYS GO PLAY NICE OUT IN THAT YARD, OR MAMA
ELISA MIGHT JUST HAVE TO USE HER POWERS O'SUMMONIN' TO
BRING BACK BIG MR. THURSDAY FROM HIS BEING SAFELY DEAD.
AND BIG MR. THURSDAY _ALWAYS_ LIKED TO COOK HIS FAVORITE
FOOD, SMALL CHILDREN LIKE YOU MR. CLEERE AND YOU TOO
MS. CHEN AND MS. DOLE, REAL SLOW OVER HIS FIRE.
SO I WOULDN'T LIKE TO HAVE TO SUMMON UP MR. THURSDAY
AND SEE Y'ALLS CHEWED BONES BURIED AT THE BOTTOM OF
THE GARDEN NEXT TO POOR MR. SNIFFLES JUST TO GET A NIP
OF PEACE.
BUT I MIGHT HAVE TO DO THAT. I JUST MIGHT HAVE TO.
NOW GO _OUTSIDE_ AND PLAY.
-- YOUR MOMA, ELISA K.
Richard Martin
"ELISA K. STEFAN" wrote:
Take two sammiches & call Bill in the morning.
Andrea Chen
> NOW YOU GUYS GO PLAY NICE OUT IN THAT YARD, OR MAMA
> ELISA MIGHT JUST HAVE TO USE HER POWERS O'SUMMONIN' TO
> BRING BACK BIG MR. THURSDAY FROM HIS BEING SAFELY DEAD.
> AND BIG MR. THURSDAY _ALWAYS_ LIKED TO COOK HIS FAVORITE
> FOOD, SMALL CHILDREN LIKE YOU MR. CLEERE AND YOU TOO
> MS. CHEN AND MS. DOLE, REAL SLOW OVER HIS FIRE.
>
It's not my fault! Bill started it! He said no girls in the treehouse
even though I used his credit card to color cooridinate it!
So I told him that it wasn't his tree house any more because it was a
virtual treehouse which means by Usenet convention I own it. Then he
and Richard started getting grumpy and I tried to be nice and tell them
how to be happy.
Then Libby said they didn't want to be happy, they only wanted to
complain which isn't fair because when I tell them what to do I
shouldn't have to use the electric collar. I mean sometimes it's fun to
line them up and make music (screams are noisy Pollack paintings); but I
think I have a right to expect service with a smile. But they're being
selfish by being misearable which isn't nice.
But I tried to be nice. I tried to make them happy. And now you're
picking on me even though it's not my fault and I was being a good girl,
but I get blamed for everything because people know that they can pick
on me and so everyone is big bullies including you you big meanie. So
now I'm not going to let Richard ride on my bicycle even though I
loosened the seat and cut the brakes just for him. I'm just going to
cry and cry and cry because you aren't being fair!
-SWEET LITTLE ANDREA-
P.S. Seriously some people seem to think that there is some sort of
flame war going on. That's ridiculous, it's like thinking Bill's being
rude when he says "fuck you" (which is a term of endearment.)
Admittedly the relationship between the sexes can be a sensitive
subject, but despite the fact that Bill seems to have been deeply burned
(to a tragic degree) I don't *think* that he took offence at anything I
said to him. I mean this is the guy who when he heard about Heaven's
Gate said "Has anyone seen Andrea Chen lately?" It was browsing
dejanews and coming across that (a definite compliment) which sent me to
ac.jfk where Mr. Cleere mentioned the undead and I said "hi." If anyone
*is* taking this seriously please check your reality meters.
mister thursday
In alt.pouting.sandwich, Andrea Chen <fallin...@earthlink.net> wrote:
^ It's not my fault! Bill started it! He said no girls in the treehouse
^even though I used his credit card to color cooridinate it!
HELLO SWE*ahem*
hello sweet little andrea, does bill's credit card work
at the children shop?
mr. thursday hasn't eaten in a long time. color co-ordinated
children sound real tasty if we roasted them long
and slow.
^ So I told him that it wasn't his tree house any more because it was a
^virtual treehouse which means by Usenet convention I own it. Then he
^and Richard started getting grumpy and I tried to be nice and tell them
^how to be happy.
mr. thursday don't like happy children as much as miserable
children. happy children
run about all day in the sunshine and get themselves all thin
and skinny. miserable children stay indoors and eat lots
of cakes and get all big and tasty.
lots of meat on them miserable children. miserable
children mr. thursday's favorites.
...though happy children got a nice gamey taste.
do you like happy or miserable children best of all lil' andrea?
^ Then Libby said they didn't want to be happy, they only wanted to
^complain which isn't fair because when I tell them what to do I
^shouldn't have to use the electric collar. I mean sometimes it's fun to
^line them up and make music (screams are noisy Pollack paintings); but I
^think I have a right to expect service with a smile. But they're being
^selfish by being misearable which isn't nice.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. goooood eatin'
^ But I tried to be nice. I tried to make them happy. And now you're
^picking on me even though it's not my fault and I was being a good girl,
^but I get blamed for everything because people know that they can pick
^on me and so everyone is big bullies including you you big meanie. So
^now I'm not going to let Richard ride on my bicycle even though I
^loosened the seat and cut the brakes just for him. I'm just going to
^cry and cry and cry because you aren't being fair!
^
^ -SWEET LITTLE ANDREA-
^
^
^
^P.S. Seriously some people seem to think that there is some sort of
^flame war going on.
<seriously>
I know, and now they've trolled _both_ of us into explaining
things...
</seriously>
which means they're winning lil' andrea.
we gotta attack, or they'll be no children to
eat for us.
... YOUR MOM^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H
thursday ...
Richard Martin
Andrea Chen says:
> So
> now I'm not going to let Richard ride on my bicycle even though I
> loosened the seat and cut the brakes just for him.
If this is supposed to be your idea of humor, I notice one thing---
I'm not laughing.
You think it would have been a funny trick
for you to cut the brakes and loosen the seat & then say,
"Hey, Richard, take my bikle for a ride"?
This kind of cold-hearted, lip-licking humor is what is
eating at the very roots of Western Civilization.
But since you brought it up,
let me ask you something---
Do you think it would be funny
if I loosened the lid on your washing machine and cut the water lines?
And then said, "Hey, Andrea, go wash my clothes."
Do you think that would be pretty funny, too?
Knowing you, you probably would.
I think you could be a lot more sensitive, Andrea.
And you add, re: Bill Cleere:
> I mean this is the guy who when he heard about Heaven's
> Gate said "Has anyone seen Andrea Chen lately?"
I don't understand.
All he was was doing was putting 2 and 2 together
& expressing concern for a friend who might have followed
her odd proclivities to their logical conclusion. After all,
if I heard of a P.G. Wodehouse cult which committed mass suicide
in order to be transteleported to Blandings Castle,
I would say, immediately,
"Has anybody seen Bill Cleere lately?"
I think you're way too sensitive, Andrea.
Gladwort the Mighty!
(mister thursday) wrote:
>
> mr. thursday hasn't eaten in a long time. color co-ordinated
> children sound real tasty if we roasted them long
> and slow.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!! Run, Chenno! Run!
--Gladwort the Mighty!
============================
"One word sums up probably
the responsibility of any vice
president, and that one word is
'to be prepared'."
--Dan Quayle
Bill Cleere
>
> "ELISA K. STEFAN" wrote:
>
> > ALL YOU WHINING BOYS AND SHRILL SMALL FEMALE PERSONS
> > GIVE ME HEARTBURN. MY HEAD POUNDS NOW, HOT IN THIS STICKY
> > HEAT. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MOMA ELISA FEELS A LITTLE
> > STRESSED THIS AFTERNOON, YESSIR, JUST A LITTLE STRESSED.
> > YOU SMALL FOLKS ALL HOLLERIN' AND FEUDIN' DON'T HELP IT,
> > DON'T HELP IT NOT ALL.
> >
> > ELISA MIGHT JUST HAVE TO USE HER POWERS O'SUMMONIN' TO
> > BRING BACK BIG MR. THURSDAY FROM HIS BEING SAFELY DEAD.
> > AND BIG MR. THURSDAY _ALWAYS_ LIKED TO COOK HIS FAVORITE
> > FOOD, SMALL CHILDREN LIKE YOU MR. CLEERE AND YOU TOO
> > MS. CHEN AND MS. DOLE, REAL SLOW OVER HIS FIRE.
> >
> > AND SEE Y'ALLS CHEWED BONES BURIED AT THE BOTTOM OF
> > THE GARDEN NEXT TO POOR MR. SNIFFLES JUST TO GET A NIP
> > OF PEACE.
> >
> > BUT I MIGHT HAVE TO DO THAT. I JUST MIGHT HAVE TO.
> >
> > NOW GO _OUTSIDE_ AND PLAY.
> >
> > -- YOUR MOMA, ELISA K.
>
> Take two sammiches & call Bill in the morning.
Mr. Thursday... Is that the German guy that lived next
door to Don who sat in front of his TV dead for five
years because he'd told the neighbors not to bother him?
I'd be scared of that guy all right. And I believe that
a dead person who watched TV for five more years would
be capable of coming back with no problem, because at
some point he would have seen a program the rest of us
missed which told how to do it, like at three A.M. some
morning on The Learning Disability Channel or something.
So I think I'll do like Stefan says, just to be on the
safe side, AS LONG AS ANDREA DOES TOO!
-- Bill Cleere
Bill Cleere
Yikes! That one's gonna keep me awake tonight!
Fortunately, it's not going to happen, though, because
the wonderful thing about P.G. Wodehouse is that one loves
Blandings Castle precisely because it could *not* exist.
As George Orwell put it in a memorable essay, the world
of Wodehouse is a world before the Fall, without sin or
tragedy or suffering or care, in which the most terrible
catastrophe is to be given a tip straight from the stable
at a time when one is utterly without the funds to place
a wager. What that means is that I and any lover of PGW
can enter the Garden of Eden, fully and wholeheartedly,
simply by picking up a book. The experience is complete
and perfect by virtue of its being impossible.
-- Bill Cleere
Bill Cleere
>
> >
> > NOW YOU GUYS GO PLAY NICE OUT IN THAT YARD, OR MAMA
> > ELISA MIGHT JUST HAVE TO USE HER POWERS O'SUMMONIN' TO
> > BRING BACK BIG MR. THURSDAY FROM HIS BEING SAFELY DEAD.
> > AND BIG MR. THURSDAY _ALWAYS_ LIKED TO COOK HIS FAVORITE
> > FOOD, SMALL CHILDREN LIKE YOU MR. CLEERE AND YOU TOO
> > MS. CHEN AND MS. DOLE, REAL SLOW OVER HIS FIRE.
> >
>
>
>
> Then Libby said they didn't want to be happy, they only wanted to
>
> now I'm not going to let Richard ride on my bicycle even though I
>
>
>
>
> P.S. Seriously some people seem to think that there is some sort of
> rude when he says "fuck you" (which is a term of endearment.)
> Admittedly the relationship between the sexes can be a sensitive
> subject, but despite the fact that Bill seems to have been deeply burned
> (to a tragic degree)
Actually, it's not that I've been so badly burned as..
oh, never mind, I've blown off enough steam.
> I don't *think* that he took offence at anything I
> said to him.
I certainly didn't.
> I mean this is the guy who when he heard about Heaven's
> Gate said "Has anyone seen Andrea Chen lately?" It was browsing
> dejanews and coming across that (a definite compliment) which sent me to
> ac.jfk where Mr. Cleere mentioned the undead and I said "hi." If anyone
> *is* taking this seriously please check your reality meters.
Yep. There is no one on Usenet for whom I have more respect
than Ms. Chen. When necessary for future artistic purposes,
I will claim that she forged this post, but everyone on aps
will know that I meant it.
-- Bill Cleere
P.S. to Stefan: I realize we are actually giving you a headache,
and I'm sorry.
Drain Bamage
You want to see something scary about Piper At The Gates Of Dawn?
Bill Cleere
Drain Bamage
> Thanks, but that 20-year-old thread was scary enough. Who were we, and what the hell were we talking about?
The question is, what versions are we now,and why did we spin these versions up?
And WTF am I on about.
And stuff.