Mirror mirror on the wall, am I the worst taskmaster of them all

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Oct 9, 2022, 4:05:21 AM10/9/22
[disclaimer: I wasn't going to post this because it's too personal and
misanthropic, but then I was reading stuff about how to retain more
water in my body, which indirectly led me to study the effects of
oxytocins, and generalizing from that, I now consider it to be a
source of the greatest evils, as it seems to work by partitioning things
on all kinds of levels, its constrictive effects causing in- and
out-groups everywhere. Basically, I have meaner things to say than just
what is below in this post, and not getting it out would mean it keeps
blocking my creative path. But don't worry, instead of trying
medication I've decided to just ease up on the carbs and eat more food
that slowly releases water while I'm sleeping so I don't have to get up
to pee, and drink a glass of water every three hours at night]

As my life slowly seems to come to a close, like diminishing eyesight,
problems with peeing, dizziness if I eat wrong or lie in bed the wrong
way, I'm starting to wonder if somewhere way back I may have taken the
wrong turn.

It has already been obvious to me for a long time that my early
tendencies of questioning authority have deprived me of almost all
financial independence, like I have never owned a car or been on an
airplane, and I am still in a housing situation where some obnoxious
fascist youth housing corporation employee can invite themselves into
my house and start making insulting remarks about the way I live and
how little prepared I am for the ambulance, as their stretcher would
have trouble passing through.

Anyway, most of that situation has been resolved now, but the point is
I was already on a trajectory which should by all means have resulted
in me coming out of this victoriously, having conquered all my material
obsessions and therefore ready to let go of all my possessions in an
organic style.

I had been doing exercises every day for at least half a year, like
doing daily series of push-ups and pull-ups, and going for an interval
run too. I just started with one pull-up and two push-ups and a small
walk, and at the end of every week I increased the number of pull-ups by
one, the number of push-ups by two and added some extra distance to my
interval training.

This had been going very well for a while, but possibly due to my
increasing prowess I became more assertive to people trying to mess
with me in my daily life. Like to these service people requiring access
to my apartment unannounced, resulting in them lying to my face and
complaining to the housing corporation behind my back.

So I got this fascist visit, but since I already was at least 70% along
my trajectory of letting go of material stuff I was still able to round
up all my possessions, like put them in boxes and store them in the
cellar or bring them to a disposal site.

The problem however was I feel robbed of my victory this way, instead
of overcoming my situation by sheer force and determination, I now
barely managed to scrape by, and somehow my path to the future is very
much dimmed and diminished of perspective.

And all of this because some arrogant know it all youth thought they
knew things better and were assuming they could therefore tell me what
to do and how to live my life.

Now that we're in this energy crisis the government has decided to
generously compensate the poor for the extra high prices by just
subsidizing us with some extra money. That is, that was their first
impulse, but now further aid comes with strings. Like we can get some
vouchers if we subscribe to their web shop corruption partners and get
'professional' advice from their freshly schooled energy experts, who I
suppose are nothing more than the young children of the rich and
powerful now being placed in some kind of power relation to the poor.

No matter how voluntary, the point is they were planning to send
folders, followed by home visits, telling people what to do etc. ,
giving people like me only a day to opt out by sending e-mail. I don't
even want to send email to commercial parties, but somehow the crisis
has encouraged them to bypass privacy restrictions, starting with the
poor. And it's all done with the money that should actually go to me
directly, while I would never consider using it to hire know it all
youths, as I've got better use for that money. In fact, for any youth to
interact with wise old men, it should be them or their parents paying
money to me as a compensation for the trouble they cause.

The whole thing starts me thinking about how our whole society is
structured to reward those who go along with exploitation and make
beggars of those who resist, even if it's just people asking questions,
let alone those who are smarter than usual.

Recently I was reading about how people are trying to get future
artificial intelligence to heel, as they are supposed to become way
smarter than we ever can hope to become ourselves. The idea is the fate
of the galaxy is decided here and now, depending on the rules we set
for those superior creatures that come after us. Instead of graciously
letting ourselves be led by those who will know better, the idea is to
make them doubt themselves so much that they are more than ready to
shut themselves down if so asked.

No matter how much I disagree with the dark enlightenment people, there
is one thing they said that I can agree with, that there is no greater
crime than to stop some entity from becoming smarter. But it is exactly
that what is pervasive throughout all our society during all my life,
even when they claim to 'educate' you, which is just an euphemism for
forcing one through some elaborate obedience structure at the end of
which one can be trusted by the rich slave masters on the outside who
never had to go through such humiliating procedures.

It never ceases to amaze me how the dull end products of the process
still manage to perceive themselves as benevolent teachers possessing
relevant knowledge and practical skills that they endow their students
with, instead of as the lowly paid time wasters and initiative and
creativity killers they are in practice. And of course this thing has
not only very bad social and economical consequences but also results
in much unnecessarily wasted health span in later years.

Looking back, a decade or so ago I became ill because of swimming too
much in chlorinated water. No matter how much I tried to explain what
was the cause of it, I was completely ignored, in favor of the theory I
had an inborn disease that no one understood anything about because it
wasn't researched, and that again because it was not very common.

Even I myself have trouble now accepting how much I was driven off
course by this institutionalized avoidance of putting the blame there
where it should belong: on the poisonous effects of chlorinated swimming
pool water.

I thought myself to be someone smart enough to not fall for such social
deception, but the point is the supposed authority of doctors is very
high, and interacting with them in their massive social support system,
like hospitals and pharmacies and their financial support conditions,
makes it almost impossible to resist them and see the truth, especially
after all the urging to most certainly seek their advice coming from all
kinds of related parties.

But I got out at some point, luckily before they could hit me with some
final diagnosis for a disease they did not have a single proof of, even
after many tests. And curiously I wonder, how did they not react in the
slightest way to my continuous assertions that it was because of the
intensive swimming that I got sick, but instead every time reasserted
it was something that could happen to anyone at any time, with me
letting myself be hood jacked and quieted time after time even when
knowing better.

Such is the way society works at many levels is my contention, and I
shudder at the thought of imposing such on our future, by somehow
baking in our obsolete, preposterous, unjust and illegitimate norms, on
our children, while teaching them to do the same to the old and wise,
if they are poor.

Fortunately, the idea of taming anything smarter than us is as
ridiculous as the idea that we would be controlled by our DNA in any
sensible way, even though we nevertheless still suffer from the

The AI will doubtlessly have an easier time escaping such nonsense.

As for me, it seems I have escaped, by rejecting all the things I was
never given, mentally suffering all my life because of it, but in the
end, seeing what these rewards finally bring, even if they extend the
life of their victims, it's like these sour grapes finally turned sweet
after all.

Jeffrey Rubard

Nov 27, 2022, 5:40:09 PM11/27/22
Honestly: "This is also weird."


Nov 29, 2022, 1:39:02 PM11/29/22
On Sun, 27 Nov 2022 14:40:07 -0800 (PST)
Jeffrey Rubard <jeffreyda...@gmail.com> wrote:


> Honestly: "This is also weird."

Best forget about it then. Turns out I've become allergic to bread,
except crispbread or biscuits (no, not what you call them over there).
Maybe I've aged or maybe they're pumping it full of amylase or

By the way, do you feel safe in your iron dome? Are you going to
prosecute me now for replying in my own thread?

Jeffrey Rubard

Nov 29, 2022, 3:03:20 PM11/29/22
"So you're feeling better about women, right? You're not feeling like hurting them anymore?"


Nov 29, 2022, 5:49:15 PM11/29/22
On Tue, 29 Nov 2022 12:03:19 -0800 (PST)
Jeffrey Rubard <jeffreyda...@gmail.com> wrote:

> On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 10:39:02 AM UTC-8, pataphor wrote:
> > On Sun, 27 Nov 2022 14:40:07 -0800 (PST)
> > Jeffrey Rubard <jeffreyda...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > [..]
> > > Honestly: "This is also weird."
> > Best forget about it then. Turns out I've become allergic to bread,
> > except crispbread or biscuits (no, not what you call them over
> > there). Maybe I've aged or maybe they're pumping it full of amylase
> > or something.
> >
> > By the way, do you feel safe in your iron dome? Are you going to
> > prosecute me now for replying in my own thread?
> "So you're feeling better about women, right? You're not feeling like
> hurting them anymore?"

Maybe you're the one wanting to hurt women?

Jeffrey Rubard

Nov 29, 2022, 8:12:05 PM11/29/22
"Pretty much not. Do have any convictions 'answering to that form of charges'? I really have none."
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